一路绕行（2016）

非常感谢 非常感谢
Thank you so much. Thanks so much.
再见 - 别走再聊聊嘛
Bye! - Come in here and talking about...
怎么回事 发生什么事了
Hey, what's wrong? What happened?
咱们能不提了吗 没事
Can we just not talk about it, please? It's fine.
告诉我你在里面都看见什么了
Tell me everything you saw in there.
你见到了多少胸器
How many boobs did you see?
我不知道 五十七
I don't know. 57.
你女儿 呃
Your daughter has, um, well...
她 她进入了人生的新阶段
She's a... She's entering a new phase in her life.
什么 她的
What? She got her...
她 那个 你的那个来了
She... Super D, you got your P...
在那种地方 真是不幸
in... in there? That's... So unfortunate.
但是 哇哦 - 什么来了
But wow. - Got her what?
恭喜
Congratulations.
恭喜什么 干嘛不告诉我
For what? Why doesn't anyone tell me anything?
我的宝贝可以生小宝宝了
My baby can have babies now.
我的意思是 你现在可不能生宝宝
I mean, don't you go having babies.
真希望你能找到个
Good luck trying to find some sucker
愿意在你丑陋的额头上孵蛋的蠢货
who wants to hatch the eggs in that ugly forehead, huh?
什么
What?
我说 找一个男的愿意打破
I said, try finding a dude who wants to grapple
这个宝宝的蛋壳
with this old baby hatch.
你知道小宝宝是怎么生出来的吗
Do you not know where babies come from?
我当然知道
Yeah, I do.
我以为你和他解释过了
I thought you said you explained this to him.
我是解释过 你说你懂了
I did. I did. You said you knew.
是啊 街角的Toddy告诉我的
I do. Toddy down the street told me.
Toddy才七岁
Toddy's 7!
他超酷的 他拥有自己的蹦床
Guy's cool. He's got his own trampoline.
他能像个大老板一样 连着六下蹲起跳跃呢
Playa sit drops like a boss, like six in a row.
你到底在说什么
What are you talking about?
怎么 Toddy就这么说的
What? Toddy talks like that.
我们能走了吗
Can we please just leave?
好 给我钥匙 我来开车
Yes. Give me the keys. I'll drive.
我们走 我们走吧 -好的
Let's go. Let's go. - All right.
我们走 来吧 - 等等 你们
Let's go. Come on. - Hold up, you guys.
我们有点小小心意送给你
Threw together a little care package for you...
一些女人的必需品
a few womanly essentials.
几只润唇膏 非处方止痛药
Got you some lip balm, some O.T.C. Painkillers.
湿巾 还是湿巾
Wipes, more wipes,
一些芳香剂让你的底下整洁清爽
some scented sprays to keep the undercarriage in order.
这只闻起来像是泡泡糖
This one smells like bubble gum.
而这只闻起来像闪光的泡泡糖
This one's bubble gum with glitter.
好了 - 还有这只闻起来...
Okay. - Now this one smells like...
我替她收下了 谢谢你们
I will take that. I'll just take that. Thank you.
当心 那盖子有些松了 - 是有些松了
Careful. The cap's loose. - Oh, it is loose.
能让我看看你怎么用屁♥股♥打开一瓶香槟吗
Can I see you pop a bottle of champagne with your ass?
什么 不可以 - 不 不
What? No. - No. No.
真的非常抱歉 什么
I am so sorry about that. What?
你俩真是糟糕的父母
Y'all are terrible parents.
真高兴我不知道自己父母是谁
Makes me glad I never knew mine.
我们需要付你钱吗 顺便问下
Do we owe you money, by any chance?
我就这么一说
I'm just thinking out loud here,
但开头真的太不顺了
but we've gotten off to a really rough start.
我们是否该继续这次旅行
I mean, should we even be going on this trip?
什么 为什么 你什么意思
What? Why? What do you mean?
孩子们对这次旅行期盼已久
The kids have been looking forward to this.
是吗 - 当然
Have they? - Yes. Of course.
在你发现Chaz要去同个地方度假前
You didn't even wanna go till you found out Chaz
你根本不想去
is gonna stay in the same resort as us.
你不也一样 "到那见Chaz"
Right, like you weren't all, "See you there, Chaz!
"让我们一起在酒谷堡喝个痛快 Chaz"
Let's grab some waves in Fort Liquordale, Chaz."
你们俩坐后面能安静点吗
Hey, can we, uh, be quiet there in the back?
我正和你们爸爸谈话呢
I'm trying to talk to your dad about this.
我不知道能不能坚持二十小时
I don't know if I'm prepared for 20 more hours of this.
十七小时
It's only 17.
从我们遇上善良的脱衣舞娘时起
The car reeks from the kindness of strippers,
这车就发臭了 - 她们是舞蹈家
don't you think? - They're dancers.
别歧视性工作者 - 瞧见没
Don't shame sex trader worker. - See that?
那家店不是我选的 - 不
I did not pick that restaurant. - No.
我要去给火烈鸟钓鱼吃
I wanna go flamingo fishing.
做梦吧你
You don't fish for flamingos.
我会去的 Toddy告诉我的
Yeah, you do. Toddy told me.
Toddy是个白♥痴♥ 你听他的干嘛
Toddy's an idiot. Why do you listen to him?
他说他是预言家
He says he's the oracle.
白♥痴♥都是这么说的
That's what an idiot would say!
孩子们 我们正谈要紧事
Guys, please, we're having a discussion.
大人们正讨论着呢 好吗
The grownups are having a discussion, okay?
放松点 - 你现在让我放松
Just relax. - Telling me to relax
真的一点用也没有
is the least relaxing thing you can do right now.
你对孩子们有点冲了
I know. You're just being a little harsh with them.
我没对他们发火
I'm not mad at them.
这是绑♥架♥
This is kidnapping.
把记号♥笔给我
Give me the marker.
13号♥高速有个FJ休息站
There's a flying J on 13.
不知道他们的洗浴间有没有双喷头
Wonder if they have that double nozzle in the shower.
哦 绝对有
Oh, yes, they do.
Jerry 天呐 快看
Jerry, oh, my god. Look.
我们该怎么办
What are we gonna do?
赶快呼叫县警
Okay, get County Mountie on the blower.
我减速跟在他们后面
I'm gonna drop back and follow 'em.
破坏者1-9 身份确认 正在连接
Breaker 1-9, 10-37 in progress.
我们在7号♥高速遇到情况
We've got a situation on route 7.
请说明
Bring it back.
清晰明了 Ginger Drapes
That's a big 10-4, Ginger Drapes.
我不认为该草率做决定
I just don't think we should make any rash decisions
尤其饿着肚子 好吗
on an empty stomach, okay?
我们找个地方停下吃点东西
You know, let's stop and get a bite to eat
到真正的饭馆去 - 绕过我走
at an actual restaurant... - Go around me.
绕过去 车距明明够的
Go around. There's plenty of room.
天呐 这卡车司机 别跟在后面
God. Truckers. Go around!
没关系
It's fine.
等等 你要去哪儿 不是这条路
Wait. Where are you going? This is not the way.
我们该直走
We go straight.
他一直跟着我们
He's following us.
他没跟着 谁会没事跟着我们
He's not following. Why would anyone wanna follow us?
我不知道 也许他们想劫车
I don't know. To carjack us.
搜我们的包抢走首饰 或许吧
Rifle through our bags and steal our jewelry, perhaps.
你干嘛没事带贵重首饰来
Why would you even bring the good jewelry?
我告诉过你别带的
I told you not to bring the good jewelry.
而我告诉过你我想坐飞机
And I told you I wanted to fly.
打911报♥警♥ Jared
Call 9-1-1, Jared.
号♥码是多少来着
Um, what's the number?
为什么教他是我的责任
How is that my job to teach him that?
你就专门负责教会他们打电♥话♥报♥警♥和警惕陌生人啊
Your job was police and stranger danger stuff.
我手♥机♥没信♥号♥♥了 - 我也是
Ah, I got no bars. - Neither do I.
没关系 我来搞定他
That's okay. I'm gonna shake him.
你就这么搞定 靠边停下
That's your shake move? Pull over?
别停下
Don't stop.
抱歉 我不知道还能怎么办
Sorry! I don't know what else to do.
孩子们 趴下 趴下
Kids, get down, get down.
妈妈不会让你们出任何事的
Mommy's not gonna let anything bad happen to you.
好了 我要看看这家伙到底想要干什么
Okay, I'm gonna find out what the hell this guy wants.
好 但是小心点 我爱你
Okay, but be careful. I love you.
我爱你 - 噢
I love you. - Oh!
之前对你撒了谎我很抱歉 那真是太蠢了
And I'm sorry I lied to you. That was so stupid.
确实 对 - 好
It really was. Yeah. - Okay.
好了 - 好
All right. - Okay.
好了 嘿
All right. Hey!
慢点来 亲爱的 - 没事的 宝贝
Easy, sweetie. - I got you, baby.