一路绕行（2016）

The Detour S01E05

Part 4 June 26, 2021, 8:51 a.m.

嘿你有毛病啊 - 这什么情况
Hey, man, what the heck? - What the hell?!
该死的 Rob
Damn it, Rob! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
我们的剧本里可没有这个王八蛋
We didn't discuss bringing this asshole! Ow!
来啊你个傻♥逼♥说话熊
Dick, come here, you stupid talking bear!
你个狗崽子该死的
Son of a bitch! Stay down, damn it!
屎废物
Piece of shit!
Carl 你有病啊 Nate
Carl! Goddamn it, Nate!
他把我的肩膀弄脱臼了
I think he dislocated my shoulder!
好了好了我知道
I know. I know! I know.
噢
Oh.
啊
Ugh.
我为我在晚餐时的表现来向Nate道歉
I came to apologize to Nate for dinner
还带了伏特加把他灌醉
and bring vodka to get him drunk.
穿着睡衣 - 已经晚上了
In a nightie. - It is night.
好吧我想Nate可能给了你一些错觉
Okay, so I think that Nate has probably given you the wrong impression.
他已经结婚了你知道在美国
He's married, and in America...
嗯我知道美国的婚姻情况
Yeah, I know about marriages in America.
老是担心"我们相爱吗"
All the time worrying, "Does he love me? Do I love him?"
那太浪费时间了爱情是奢侈品
Is a waste of time. Love is luxury,
而婚姻只是交易罢了好吗
and marriage is a business transaction. Okay?
好吧这可不是好的三观
Well, that sounds like a horrible way to live.
除非你没什么料
Only if you have horrible product to sell.
我可是很有料的
I have great products.
我是顶级的顶级的产品
I... m... it's top... My top-notch product.
好吧可能在这慢跑运动服下挺有料
Mm-hmm, maybe underneath those layers of jogging suit.
可是天天辱骂你唯一的客户
But what good when you call your only customer
是个胖子废物算怎么回事
a fat douche all day?
别担心了继续你的美容觉吧
Don't worry. Go get your beauty sleep.
睡得久一点 Nate会到我的房♥间喝个痛快
And try to sleep extra-long. Nate come to my room to drink.
这里的酒够他喝的了晚安
He's got plenty to drink here. Good night.
好吧我会告诉他
Okay, yeah, I'll tell him.
慢跑运动服我才不慢跑
"Jogging suit." I don't jog.
勇敢点勇敢点 - 啊
Be brave. Be brave. - Ow!
啊该死的啊 - 马上马上就好好了
Ow! Shit. Ow! Ow! - Come on. Come on. There you go.
好了 - 啊
There you go. - Ow!
谁没事干家里会有熊的戏装
I mean, who has a bear costume just lying around their house?
我是个儿童表演家
I am a children's performer.
别当我是什么怪胎
Don't try to make me to be the weirdo in this situation.
是他的主意
He's the one who set this up.
兄弟们你们知道我的感受吗
Come on, fellas. You know what it's like
因为在你女人眼里你不是个男人
when your girl won't even look at you
所以她连看的都不愿意看你一眼的感受吗
'cause you're only half a man to her?
我不知道怎么办
I didn't know what else to do.
我走投无路了
I didn't know what to do. I...
嘿给你个意见别老是哭哭啼啼
Hey, pro tip... Stop crying so much.
我知道我知道
You're right. You're right.
你有钱还有这么酷的房♥子
Man, you're rich. You got an awesome house.
而且你的家族还拯救了黑奴
For god sake, your family rescued slaves.
是人 Nate 他们救了人是人
People, Nate! They rescued people! People.
当然如果这些对这个女人来说不算什么的话
Sure, and if that's not good enough for this woman,
那可能她并不适合你
then maybe she's not the right woman for you.
好了 Nate 你到底拍了多少
Now how much footage did... Did you actually get, Nate,
在这之前
before this...
我知道我们至少做了双旋转落地
I know we got up to at least the rotate double takedown.
哦那是下勾拳
Oh, th-there's the underhook counter.
那是剪刀腿
Trapped leg roll.
哈哈我没跟上你的蝴蝶飞踢
Yeah, I was late on the butterfly kickout shit. Yeah.
你们他妈说什么呢
What the fuck are you talking about?
你们只是抱在一起然后摔倒了而已
You just hugged each other and fell down.
太好了看看 Nate
My god, looky here, Nate.
你的肥手指立功了
Your big, dumb, shaky fingers
在Carl说话之前就按了停止键
hit the stop button before Carl even started talking!
看看再怎么剪辑都不如这个完美
Look at that! You couldn't cut it any better.
哇完美
Whoo! Perfect.
后退一下 - 你的大肥手指哈哈
Go back. - Your big, dumb, shaky fingers.
我会揍死你
I will knock you the fuck out.
我很有料
I have a great product.
当然毫无疑问
Yeah. That was never in question. That is...
你今天太混♥蛋♥了 - 嗯我知道我喝了伏特加
You were a douche today. - I was an asshole. It was the vodka.
你什么情况发生了什么
Is this happening? What's happening?
这个吗
This? I... Yeah.
那白♥痴♥让我和披着熊皮的人干了一架
Dude made me fight a guy in a bear suit...
什么 - 为了讨好个女人
What? - To impress a woman.
真是煞费苦心
That's elaborate.
人们总是费劲地去互相讨好
Man, people try so hard to impress one another,
我们不需要这样宝贝
okay, babe, and we don't.
这是我们如此融洽的原因我们不刻意
That's what's so great about us. We don't try.
我现在就挺刻意的太刻意了
I am trying so hard. I'm trying so hard right now.
嗯我很感激但是你不需要这样做
Yeah, and I appreciate it, but you don't have to.
为什么你不喜欢这个
Why? You don't like this?
不 - 好吧是不太好
No. No. - That was not good.
我知道这很好
I-I'm saying that this is awesome,
但是穿这个你也一样性感
but this is just as sexy.
是吗 - 当然
Yeah? - Yes!
噢太好了
Oh, thank god,
这个内♥裤♥穿起来就像医疗器具
'cause these panties are like a medical procedure.
脱了它 - 嗯脱了它
Take 'em off. - Take 'em off.
穿得舒服点 - 噢太好了理解万岁
Get comfy. - Oh, my god. Thank you.
看到了吗这就是我们 - 嗯是啊
See? This is us. - Oh, yeah, this is... oh, god, yeah.
我们不刻意 - 对
Yes. We are effortless. - We are. Mmm.
你知道吗 - 嗯怎么
You know what, though? - Mm-hmm?
也许你能改进一下 - 怎么了
Maybe you could make a little more effort? - Mm-hmm?
下次别坐在马桶上提出邀请
Don't proposition me on the toilet.
永远不会了 - 嗯
Never again. - No.
永远 - 我们俩真是完美
Ever. - We're really good, aren't we?
我们是这里的最佳夫妻
We are the best couple in this room.
每个人都想拥有我们所拥有的 - 我知道
Everyone wants what we got. - I know.
但是他们别想得到了解吗 - 了解了
But they ain't gonna get it, okay? - Okay.
现在这么一说我想来点好的"招待"
Speaking of which, I could really get some of what I got.
哦你还吃着碗里看着锅里吗
Oh, you wanna get what you got while the getting's good?
好吧又过了躺下就好 - 好吧好吧
Again, too much effort. Just get down. - All right. All right.
我以为你喜欢这个 - 我不喜欢
I thought you liked these? - I do not like these.
哦你讨厌它 - 妈妈爸爸
You hate them. - Mom, dad...
噢糟糕 - 我有些关于爱情的问题
Just... oh, shit. - I've got a few more questions about love.
噢宝贝过来坐我的旁边
Oh, baby, come right here and sit next to me.
快来我们聊一聊
Come on. Let's talk it out.
嗯
Right.
看了没戏了 - 没戏了
Not gon' get it. - No.
抱歉了亲爱的
Sorry, babe.
亲爱的我做到了
Darling, I did it.
我打败了熊 Nate他都吓尿了
I fought a bear and I won. Nate... he got scared.
他在我掐死它之前就不敢拍了
He stopped recording before I broke the thing's neck.
场面非常的血腥残酷
It was ugly. It was awful,
但是我挺过来了我是你的男人了
but I'm in one piece, and I'm all yours.
恶心
Ew.
恶恶恶心
Ew. Ew! Ew!
我怎么在看直播老牛吃嫩草
Why am I watching an old man make out with a little girl?!