一路绕行（2016）

我们来回顾一下
Okay, let's recap.
我们现在才开始回顾 是吗 - 没错
Oh, we're recapping? Is that what we're doing? - Yep.
你逗我吧 过去两小时我们都在回顾
No shit. That's all we've been doing for the last two hours.
你唯一需要知道的就是
And the only thing you need to know
我的孩子们都病得很严重
is that my kids were deathly ill...
是因为你在内陆的一家路边餐厅
Is that because you force-fed 'em oysters
逼他们吃生蚝吗
at a landlocked roadside restaurant?
为什么你对这一切如此感兴趣
Why are you so interested in all this?
不只是我 你已经引起所有人的注意了
It's not just me. You've got everybody's attention.
我们不能让他们之后八小时 都待在那"呕吐彗星"里
We can't put 'em in that vomit comet for the next eight hours.
他们只是食物中毒 没什么大事
It's just food poisoning. It'll pass.
为什么这的旅馆都没房♥间了
Why are there no hotel rooms here?
我们不住旅馆 等等 - Parker先生和太太
We're not staying in a hotel... Wait. - Mr. And Mrs. Parker!
你们都忘记了 两样非常重要的医疗必备品
Now y'all forgot two very important but medically necessary items.
噢
Aw.
对哈 棒棒糖 谢谢你
Oh. Lollies. Thank you.
太贴心了 - 来自南方的款待
That's so sweet. - Southern hospitality.
什么事 女士
Yes, ma'am?
你知道为什么这附近的旅馆都客满了吗
Um, do you know why there are no hotel rooms available in this area?
杜♥鹃♥花都娇艳盛开了
The azaleas are blossomin',
人们皆寻香而来一览芳颜
and the people have come to bear witness.
如此说来 我正巧知道
Now that said, I happen to know
一处非常好的B&B 就在几个镇子外
of a very nice B&B just a couple towns over.
我们不是住B&B那类人 谢谢 - 你确定吗
Yeah, we're not B&B people. Thanks. - Well, now are you sure?
我们走吧 - 那里很有特色
Let's go. - It's got a lot of character.
是啊 那特色就是"臭虫"
Yeah, that's code for "Bedbugs."
我认识那里的主人
Well, now I know the owner,
并且我保证 他会让你们享受皇家级待遇
and I guarantee he's gonna make y'all feel like royalty.
主人是你
Is it you?
是的 确实是我
It is. It is indeed.
看来那主人今晚要寂寞空庭冷了
Well, the owner's gonna have a little extra vacancy tonight.
拜耶
Bye-ee!
你什么毛病 - 抱歉 我不像你一样
What is your problem? - I'm sorry I'm not as charmed
对那"来自南方的款待"的狗屁感兴趣
by all the southern hospitality B.S. as you are.
喔噢
Whoa!
他还真是阴魂不散
Well... He's back.
看看我 正拉着我的小天♥安♥门♥广场
Look at me, pulling my own little Tiananmen Square here.
最后劝一句 那里有白马
Last pitch... white horses,
柔软舒适的床供孩子们休息
comfy beds for the kids to rest in,
还有Rob医生私藏的伏特加
and Dr. Rob's very own sippin' vodka.
你们会考虑一下的 对吧
Y'all think it over, won't you?
我们会的 谢谢
We will. Thank you.
谁他妈的喝伏特加
Who the hell drinks vodka?
拜托 我们至少去看一眼吧
Come on. We should at least take a look at it.
房♥子一般般
It's not so great.
他妈的混球
What a douche.
*群山背后的某处*
*Somewhere behind the mountains*
*我发现了一个地方*
*There is a place I figured out...*
这栋宅子刚庆祝完她197岁生日
You know, this house just celebrated her 197th birthday.
一直以来都是我家族的财产
Been in my family's possession the entire time.
我超爱这里的一切 我想住在这里
Oh, I love everything about it. I wanna live here.
是吗 你们把奴隶们关在哪
Yeah? Where'd you keep the slaves?
亲爱的 - 怎么了
Honey. - What?
不 不 Robin 他说的是对的
No, no, Robin. He's absolutely right.
他们曾经安置在地下室
They were housed down in the basement...
瞧见没
See?
为了给他们北上前往
To rest up for their journey north
地下铁路的路上提供休息场所
on the underground railroad.
瞧见没
See?
这栋宅子非正式的以
This home is unofficially known as
"这栋宅子解放了一万人"而闻名
"The place that freed 10,000 people."
或者按你的叫法 "奴隶们"
Or slaves, as you call them, Nate.
没错
Yep.
您好 Rob医生 欢迎回来
Hello, Dr. Rob. Welcome back.
未发现人类活动 - 这是什么电视台
No activity to report. - What's this channel?
未发现 检测到人类活动
No activity to... Human activity detected.
这小孩在看什么
What's this kid looking at, huh?
噢 他正在看我呢
Oh. Ohh. He's looking at me.
傻蛋
Dummy.
这些红莓美味得仿佛置身天堂 若天堂存在的话
Oh, these berries taste like heaven, if it existed.
你的甜茶怎么样 - 尝起来像化学药品
How's your sweet tea? - Ugh. It tastes like chemicals.
闻闻这草地的清香
Mmm, the smell of the lawn.
你能想象除草多麻烦么 不了 多谢
Yeah, can you imagine having to mow it? No, thanks.
这才是我梦寐以求的假期
This is the vacation I deserve.
海滩假期正等着我们呢
We've got a beach vacation waiting for us.
得了吧 - 你在胡说什么呢
Come on. - What are you talking about?
我们不喜欢海滩 你知道的
Look, we're not beach people. You know that.
不 我们是 - 我们去的唯一原因
Yes, we are. - The only reason we're doing this
就是因为你恰巧要在那地方开会
is because it coincides with your convention.
我们别去那了 - 我必须去
I mean, let's just skip it. - I can't.
想想 哪里更棒
All right, what's better...
无聊的演讲 皱巴巴的西服 还是这里
Boring speeches and rumpled suits or this?
我说了不行 - 你知道吗 我只是
I said no. - You know what? I'm... I'm just...
我真的厌烦你来做所有的决定了
I'm getting really tired of you making all the decisions here.
我也有权利做决定的 你看着
I can make some decisions. Watch this.
我是要去领奖 - 你说什么
I'm getting an award. - What?
一个很重要的奖项 工作奖
I-it's a big award. A work award.
我本来想给你个惊喜 - 亲爱的 天呐
I was gonna surprise you. - Babe! Oh, my god, that's...
难怪你最近举动这么奇怪
That's why you were acting so weird!
我就知道你有事瞒着我
I knew something was up.
没错 这就是原因
Yeah, I was. That was why.
你是担心我有外遇了吗 - 没错
Did you think I was having an affair? - Oh, yeah.
没错 我可担心坏了
Yeah, I was horrified.
什么 你这是什么意思
What? What does that mean?
什么 不要 这里有好多胖嘟嘟的小情人
What? Oh, no! There's plenty of chubby lovers out there.
Robin Nate 快过来
Robin! Nate! Y'all come.
我们骑白瑞德跑一圈
We'll take Rhett Butler here for a ride.
走 我们去骑马
Oh, let's go do that.
来吧 - 行 你跟来亨鸡一起骑马
Come on. - Yeah, you go on with foghorn leghorn.
我又肥又大的眼睛要去休息了
I'm gonna go rest my big, fat eyes.
抱歉我今天不能让你骑他 Robin
Sorry I couldn't let you ride him today, Robin.
它有点喜怒无常 因为母马在发♥情♥期
He's temperamental... 'cause the mares are in estrus.
没关系 散散步也挺好
Oh, that's okay. This is just as good.
我的亡妻 她以前也常常像这样散步
My late wife... She'd spend all day strolling the grounds like this.
我很抱歉 她何时去世的
Oh, I'm sorry. When did she pass?
很多年前了
Oh, no, no, years ago.
佣人们说她仍在这片土地上徘徊
Workers say she still roams these fields.
你相信天堂的圣灵吗 Robin
You believe in heavenly spirits, Robin?
噢 我真的
Oh. I really...
我相信 我相信
I-I do. I do. I do.
很奇怪 当我看着你的双眼
Funny. When I look into your eyes,
我仿佛看见了我的Audrey
I see my Audrey...
拾捡着蓝铃花 总有孩童般好奇心
Picking bluebells, full of childlike wonder.
到底如何才能让Robin
What would make Robin happy
在这美妙的春日感到快乐呢
on this perfect spring day?
我吗
Me?
我不知道 好久都没有人问我这个问题了
Oh, I don't know. Been a long time since anyone's asked me that.
我正在问啊
Well, I'm askin'.
好吧 使我快乐的方法就是
Okay, then what would make me happy
让我知道你也快乐
is to know that you're happy...
让我知道你会再次寻找到爱情
To know that you could find love again.
不用担心 我已经找到了
Oh. Don't you worry. I have.
我有一位年轻美艳的未婚妻
I snagged me a beautiful young fiance.
是吗 - 没错 女士 美丽的
Oh. - Yes, ma'am. Gorgeous...
年轻的俄♥罗♥斯♥女孩儿
Young Russian girl.
那 那真是太棒了
Oh, well, look... look at that.
看见没 我现在很快乐
See? Happy now.
*对那些我说不*
*To those I say niet.*
*那是个洒满水的四季花♥园♥*
*It's a deep water four season pot*
*那使我湿透 湿透了*
*That makes me wet. So wet.*