一路绕行（2016）

这都是他的错
This is all his fault.
Davey Davey汽修店那个
Davey? From Davey wheels and tires?
那地方不是20年前被烧毁了吗
That place burned down 20 years ago.
Davey那晚就在里面 烧成灰了
Davey was in there that night. Burned to death.
Arnie你记错了 那是Gary Gary汽修店的那个
You're thinking Gary. Gary's tires and wheels, Arnie.
哦 想起来了 我的错
Right. I'm sorry.
是Gary被烧成灰了
Gary burned to death.
啊 - 我都让你别动
Ow! - I said hold still.
这下我找不到血管了
Now you made me miss the vein.
什么 啊 别扭针头
What... ow! Don't twist it!
要是进了点空气 我就死翘翘了
God! You put an air bubble in there, you'll kill me.
是吗 那也比你酒驾车祸死来的好
Is that right? That'd be even worse way to die.
警♥察♥先生 我们都按你的要求做了
Sir, we've complied with all your requests.
我们可以走了吗 - 啊 艹
Are we free to go now? - Ah! Shit!
恐怕不行 孩子们
I'm afraid not. Kids?
等 等等 我想来张半裸的
Hold... hold on. Let me get one with my shirt off.
好吧 你♥爸♥妈做错事了
Okay. Your mommy and daddy have done a bad thing.
你们可以呆在这里 他们需要找个地方"静静"
You can stay here. They're gonna have a little time-out.
啊 你根本不会扎啊
Ow! You are terrible at your job.
嗯 被你发现了
Mm-hmm, that's right.
这可是非法监禁
Okay, this is called false imprisonment.
你不用进监狱
You're not being put in a prison.
那你带我们去哪 - 监管机构
Then where are you taking us? - To a holding facility.
他们无权关押你的时候该怎么说
What do you say when they're not allowed to keep you?
"我被拘留了吗" - 我被拘留了吗
"Am I being detained?" - Am I being detained?
你没有被拘捕
You're not being arrested at this time.
想走的时候该怎么说
What do you say when you wanna... you wanna go?
嗯 "我可以走了吗" - 我可以走了吗
Uh, uh, oh, uh, "Am I free to go?" - Am I free to go?
别整这些扯淡的自♥由♥主义了
Quit it with the libertarian bullshit.
我只是想省些书面报告
I'm trying to save me a ton of paperwork
也给你们留点面子
and you a bit of embarrassment.
现在我很有礼貌地请你们
Now I'm politely asking you
给我进去睡几个小时
to go in there for a couple of hours and sleep it off.
在托儿所里
In a daycare?
儿童床垫 上面还有尿
On a child's mat? Covered in urine?
估计还有屎
And fecal matter, probably.
这地方人还真不少
Not a lot of space here in drunkard county.
给我躺下
Lie all the way down.
像宝宝一样 - 对
Like an infant? - Yeah.
你不想睡觉 也可以看看书
You don't have to sleep. You can read.
或者去彩球箱里玩玩
Or there's a ball pit.
哦 看看 手抖哥也来了
Oh, hey! Shakey's here.
老公 这就过分了
Baby, that's terrible.
不 你知道什么是过分吗 就是他害我得了肝炎
No, you know what's terrible? Hepatitis that he gave me.
而且没得治的那种
And it has no cure.
你想再给我一针吗 "刺客"
You want another go, Stabby?
不想了吗
You good?
放了我爸妈 - 不行
Let our parents go. - No.
放了我爸妈 - 不行
Let our parents go. - No.
放了我爸妈 - 不行
Let our parents go. - No.
放了我爸妈 - 不行
Let our parents go. - No.
关着我爸妈 - 可以
Let our parents stay. - Okay.
小心开车 Becky - 嗯 好的
Drive safe, Becky. - Mm-hmm.
他让每个人就这么走出去 我们走吧
He's letting everyone just walk out. Let's go.
他们拿了车钥匙 - 我们有备用的
They have our keys. - We have a spare set.
孩子们怎么办
What about the children?
发短♥信♥ 让他们在外面汇合
Text them. Tell them to meet us outside.
警长说我们必须留下
The sheriff said to stay. I just...
你什么时候这么听话了
since when do you do what you're told?
听听你说的话
Listen to you.
我的宝贝
My dear boy,
你简直就是年轻的Peter Donaire的化身
you are a young Peter Donaire incarnate.
谁 - 你问谁是Peter Donaire
Who? - Who's Peter Donaire?
事实上 我不在乎他是谁 - 他就是我啊
Actually, I don't really care. - He is me.
好吧 我正和我的老婆说话呢
That's great. I'm trying to talk to my wife.
就像照镜子一样 - 不 一点都不像
It's like looking in a mirror. - No, it's not.
一样雕刻般的下巴 一样锐利的蓝眼睛
Same chiseled jaw. Same piercing blue eyes.
嗯 我的是蓝的 你的是黄的和红的
Yeah, mine are. Yours are yellow and red.
粗壮的大腿
Nice thick thighs.
好了 把你的手拿开 我们一点都不像
Okay, get your hand off my thigh. We are nothing alike.
虽然如此 我们依然肩并着肩
Despite that, we find ourselves shoulder to shoulder.
哈哈 回你的帐篷里去
Ha ha. Back in your tent.
哈 - 我们撤
Mm? - Let's go.
嗨 手抖哥
Hey, shakes.
我想去车上拿点东西
Do you mind if I just go grab something from my car?
如果一定要去的话就去 - 太好了
If you have to. - Great.
他不会让我们两个一起走的
He's not gonna let both of us go.
能让我的老婆去帮帮我吗
Can my wife help me?
听起来那东西挺重的
Sounds like it must be heavy.
是这个样子的 - 去吧
It is. - Okay.
想听听世界上最令人烦躁的声音吗
Want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?
你好 我的名字是Stretch B
Hello! My name is Stretch B!
B
B!
怎么样 烦躁吧
Annoying, isn't it?
再吵没有我的喇叭吵
Not as annoying as this.
去屎吧 警长 去屎吧
Die, Sheriff! Die!
越共都干不掉我 何况你们
Nothing you can do to me Vietcong already hasn't.
宝贝 你怎么了 我们走吧
Baby, what is your problem? Let's go.
我们该一起走
We should all go.
Peter 别逼我叫警长 - 别冲动
Peter, don't make me call the sheriff. - No!
不 他没事 你没事
No, no, no, he's fine. You're fine.
我会无时无刻一天24小时盯着你
I'll 10-24 for backup.
10啦 24啦 QNP啦 这些都只是数字
10-24. QNP. Those are just numbers.
你的电传打字机根本没有插电
And that teleprinter of yours isn't even plugged in.
老兄 闭嘴好吗
Buddy, zip it!
我不会走的
Hey. I'm not leaving.
不 你必须走 - Nate 我有罪
Yes, you are. - Nate, I'm guilty.
不 你没有 我们没有被指控
No, you're not. We haven't been charged.
我们是自♥由♥之身
We are free to go.
听到了吗 你这头脑迟钝的傻瓜
Did you hear that, you dopey-headed clod?
指控是什么
What is the charge?
严重醉酒驾驶 你血液酒精浓度高达0.76
You were driving with a .76 blood alcohol level.
老天爷啊 你怎么还活着的
Jesus Christ. How are you even alive?
是墨斯卡灵让我如获新生
I bring myself up to zero with mescaline.
抱歉我们试图操纵你
I'm so sorry we've been trying to manipulate you
让我们的家人逃脱罪责
into letting our family go.
只是
It's just...
我们在去看望病危的Noonie的路上
We're on our way to see our dying Noonie one more time.
她又聋又瞎 还患有糖尿病
She's blind and deaf and diabetic.
他们说她随时可能撒手人寰
They say it could be any day now.
Jared 这是真的吗 - 是的 她真的很老
Jared, is this true? - Oh, yeah, she's really old.
老到都不杀耗子了
She doesn't even kill mice anymore.
她以前可是专业灭鼠人员
She was an exterminator.
你知道对警♥察♥说谎会被定什么罪吗
You know what they call it when you lie to a cop?
妨碍司法公正罪
Obstruction of justice.
我觉得他信了 - 你个白♥痴♥
I think he bought it. - You're an idiot.
你有罪是什么意思
What do you mean, you're guilty?
你看起来一点都不像有罪
This is not what guilty looks like.
他才是罪恶滔天的典型
That is what guilty looks like.
有罪也可以是我这样子的
This is also what guilty looks like.
不 酒渍染红的衬衫
No, it is a red wine-stained shirt,
尿湿的裤子 腰带当领带系 这样才对
pee pee pants, and a tie for a belt.
这场面即将成为一幅伟大的夫妻论述的作品
This is becoming a wonderful production of marital discourse.
这不是作品 - 我愿意出演一个角色
This isn't a production. - I would love to be assigned a role.
行 你的角色就是"特么的闭嘴"
Sure, your role is to shut the fuck up.
啊 永恒的戈多 只能感受 从未见过
Ah, forever the Godot. Felt, never seen.
没有动作 没有对白 但尽显批判的主题
No action, no dialogue, but thematically critical.
我不明白 - 我酒后驾车了
I don't understand. - The D.U.I.'s mine.
什么
What?
剧情变得更复杂了
The plot thickens!