伦敦女孩（2012）

她今天试着站起来
She's really trying to pull herself up to walk.
我用手♥机♥拍下来了
I filmed her on my phone.
这可爱 我们去卧室吧
Cute. Let's go to the bedroom.
先让我歇一会
Right, just need a minute to chill.
-怎么了 -早上累虚脱了
-Why? -Really... exhausting morning.
我们把她的青蛙玩偶丢在去婴儿俱乐部的路上了
We dropped her Froggie somewhere between here and Baby Club,
-然后花了三个小时来找 -没关系 她有很多玩具
-then spent three hours looking for it. -Well, she's got loads of toys.
那是她最爱的青蛙 已经为此哭了一个小时了
It was her favourite frog, Viva. She was crying for an hour.
-知道了知道了 已经四点半多了 -你干啥啊
-OK, well, it's gone 4.30. -What you doing?
-脱衣服啊 -那个
-Just taking off your clothes. -Right, it's just that...
-我太累了 -那我们说好的爱爱时刻呢
-I'm so tired. -Rocky! What about us doing it?
我依然为你着迷 我只是 太累了
Look, I still fancy you, I'm just... tired.
什么鬼 累得都不能做♥爱♥了
My God! Too tired for sex?
我还以为只有37左右的中年人
I didn't think this would happen
才会出现这种状况
till we were middle-aged people of...37.
薇娃呢 她不是要帮你的么
Where's Viva? I thought she was helping you?
我跟她说没什么大不了我能搞得定
I told her not to worry. I've got this.
我们先来个快速测验
So we're going to kick off with a quick test
来你看看你们到底会多少
to find out how much you know.
不用担心在我看来都是小菜
Don't worry, I'm assuming it's nothing.
我觉得你会发现我们所知道的
I think you're going to find out we know a lot more
比你认为的多得多
than you think we know, Saz.
-先来几何 -我们不是学数学么
-We're going to start with geometry. -I thought we were doing maths.
这就是数学 把文具拿出来
It is maths, Amber. Get out your equipment.
数学课上的文具
Your maths equipment.
没人和我们说还要带文具啊
No-one told us to bring maths equipment.
我还以为你们会知道
I just automatically assumed you'd know.
然后我意识到这个想法太蠢了 所以我
But then I realised that was dumb, so I went out
用自己的钱给你们各买♥♥了一套文具
and bought you some new stuff with my own money.
我人真是太好了 不用客气 真的
I know, I'm awesome. Don't worry, it's fine.
等一下
Hang on. Hang on.
-我把短息看掉 -别玩手♥机♥了 -做不到啊
-I just need to check this. -Leave it. -I can't leave it.
她没办法 康纳是他正牌男友
She can't, Connor's her main man.
-他要带我去电影院 -听起来很棒啊
-He wants us to go cinema. -That sounds fun.
这什么鬼片名 从此以后之尿布 还是爱情片
Some shit-sounding romcom, Nappy Ever After.
听起来就很好看的样子 我能去么
That sounds amazing! Can I come?
当然不行 我们又不是去看电影的
No, cos we won't be watching,
我们准备在后排座位那来一发
we'll be trying to have sex at the back behind the seats.
-谁管你们 我只是很想看这部电影 -你俩不能在家搞么
-I don't care, I just want to see the film. -Can't you have sex at home?
我家里的人可比电影院多
There's more people at my house than at the cinema.
我和小布也遇过这问题 不过我们解决了
Me and Brandon had that problem, but we worked out
你知道不停地按二楼 三楼 和七楼
if you hold down floors two, three and seven of the lift at Northside,
电梯就会不停上上下下 这样时间就会充足 你懂得
it jams the lift long enough to... you know.
-身体和灵魂的碰撞 -正确
-Have a loving intimate encounter? -Exactly.
监视器那边的所有保安一起围观
Watched only by all the security staff on the security monitors,
他们的朋友或者其他人再把U盘里的视频
all their friends and anyone prepared to put their card details
传到电梯爱爱网站上
into shagginginlifts.com.
所以我会红喽
So you're saying I could be famous?!
我们现在能不能回到正题上
Can we get back to the subject of maths now, please?
你们在商场搞过没（TK Maxx是英国的折扣购物商场）
Ever done it in the toilets at TK Maxx?
你们自己都不关注数学成绩
What's the point of me trying to help you
那我为什么还要还帮你们
if you won't focus on maths?
-你们看起来毫不在乎 -我本来就不在乎啊
-It's like you don't care at all. -I don't care.
杰弗里老师正在帮我申请脚手架学徒
Mr Jefferies is helping me get on a scaffolding apprenticeship,
我还担心个毛
so why should I bother?
要是真的有只绵羊 我会更在意
I would care more if there was a real sheep.
我认得这个 你给我们带的刀剑手办配件
I remember these! And you got us the tiny swords.
这是圆规 谁知道这是做什么的
Compasses. Who knows what those are for?
-手办大战 还用说么 -没错
-Tiny sword fights, obviously. -Obviously.
你们谁一规戳死我吧
Can one of you just stab me to death, please?
我已经申请了明年的全部
I've got all the application forms for doing
业余婴幼儿看护的课程
a part-time childcare course next year.
你对带孩子这事是认真的
So you're really serious about this nannying thing?
我还以为你很快就感到厌烦 继续坚持你的体育老师之路
I thought you might get bored soon and go back to your PE teacher idea.
不 这是我毕生追求
No, this is what I really want to do with my life.
这是你真的想做的事么
This is what you really, really want?
我很久没有这么想做一件事了
I haven't really wanted anything this much
上次还是你和卜泰勒勾搭的时候
since you was going out with Tyler Blaine
那个时候我真的很想他被车撞飞 死到惨不忍♥睹
and I really wanted him to get run over and die a horrible death
脑袋碾得稀烂
with his head smashed all over the road.
我们要建立一个更好的世界
We've got to build a society of good people.
没有战争 仇恨 和伤害
We've got to end the wars, the hate, the hurt.
很棒的想法 但是你不能当一个体育老师来实现这些么
Right, but can't you do that by being a PE teacher?
每一个宝宝都是一块砖
Each baby is a building block.
我要带出最棒的宝宝
I'm going to help create excellent babies
为这个星球的未来建设更美好的社会
and build an excellent society for the future of the planet.
你知道这个星球有七十亿人口吧
You do realise this planet has seven billion people?
一个一个来 这就是我要做的
One baby at a time, that's how I'm going to do this, Viva.
循序渐进
One baby at a time.
这是豆豆今天的宝宝日记
I wrote up my notes on Bean's day for you.
-谢谢你 裸基 -明儿见
-Thank you, Rocky. -I'll see you tomorrow.
我看过这个了 发出很多呱的声音
I've read his notes. She said...quite a lot
-看来她很不喜欢胡萝卜土豆泥 -剧透一时爽
-and she really doesn't like carrot mash. -No, no spoilers!
真是太细致了 他真的很喜欢做这个
This is great. He really loves his work, doesn't he?
我知道你想做什么老爸 我知道你的意思
I know what you're doing, Dad. I know exactly what's going on here.
-什么 -典型逆反心理
-What? -It's classic reverse psychology.
你表现的就像是你对于我要和裸基订婚完完全全地感到高兴
You act like you're all delighted that I'm getting engaged to Rocky,
因为你觉得我会和你对着干
because you think that I'll want to do the opposite.
我是真心实意地为你们感到高兴
No, I'm genuinely happy for you.
我还以为你最起码想让我嫁给一个大学毕业的
I thought you'd at least be wanting me to marry someone who's a graduate
或者是拥有职业资格的
or someone with a vocational qualification
能够担起家用的
and the ability to support a family.
裸基是豆豆的保姆 这个工作挺好的
Rocky is Bean's nanny, that's the most important job going.
说得跟真的养
Right, like you believe that.
你控制不了我的老爸
You can't manipulate me, Dad.
别忘了 我在学习心理学
Don't forget, I study psychology.
我只是一如既往想让你自己做出决定
I just want you to make your own decisions, like I've always done.
我就是18岁定的婚
You know, I got engaged at 18.
这段感情结束 我再订婚时候已经22了
When that all ended, I got engaged again at 22.
我25岁遇上了你妈妈
And then when I was 25, I met your mum.
你的生活真是混乱不堪 三段婚姻啊
Your life's been a total car crash. Three marriages.
-订不订婚由你自己决定 -等下 三段婚姻
-You want to get engaged, it's up to you. -Hang on, three marriages?
-你和我说只有两次 -有时候我会忘了还有个姓苏的
-You told me two. -Yeah, I sometimes forget Sue.
狗屁屁 他喵的你怎么不忘了你这一生
Bull-sugar, Rob. Like fudge you can forget a whole wife.
那个苏小妹挺温柔的
Well, she was quite bland.
现在我们能不能继续说我和裸基的事情 老爸
If we could bring this back to me and Rocky for a moment please, Dad.
不行 因为老娘现在要和你这个混球老爸
No, we can't! Because me and that ducksucker father of yours
好好算算他的风流帐
are going to be tracing his entire marital history in detail.
还有你 你这个沙滩太阳
And I'm warning you, you son of a buskett,
所有离婚结婚证明都给我交出来
I want to see all the documents.
把笔排好 她会开心的
There. Line up your pens, she'll love that.
快点 她来了
Quick, here she comes.
-井然有序啊 -看吧
-Good pen arrangement. -Told you.
这节课略有不同
So, this lesson's going to be different.
没有圆规大战 没有短♥信♥
No compass fights, no texting,
不要装羊癫疯或者装死
no faking a seizure and pretending to die.
我不能不发短♥信♥ 这俩男人疯狂迷恋着我
I can't help getting texts. These men are crazy for me.
那就收了你的手♥机♥ 交来
I'm confiscating your phones. Hand them over.
-我调静音 -交给我要不我就走了
-I'll put them on silent. -Hand them over or I walk.
-你也要我的手♥机♥不 -最好不过了
-Do you want my phone? -Yes, please, Amber.
行了 干扰不在 分数开怀
Right... no distractions, let's talk fractions.
还挺押韵
You did a rhyme.
干扰不在 分数开怀
No distractions, let's talk fractions,
比加减还要坏
even worse than adding and subtractions!
对不起 小布以前就对我的饶舌感到生气
Sorry. Brandon used to get really angry with me for rapping,
不过我俩现在分手了 想唱就唱我饶的响亮
but since we're split up, I thought I was free to rap.
好吧 我又自我欺骗了
I guess not.
天啊
My God!
他们把孩子给扔这了
Those people have left their baby.
没事的 那不是他们的孩子
It's OK. It's not their baby.