腌黄瓜先生

It's a tradition here at Old Town Elementary.
谁的脸上能粘最多的索尔兹伯里牛排
Whoever sticks the most Salisbury steaks
谁就获胜 就可以和苏西跳舞
to his face wins and gets to dance with Suzie.
但千万小心
But be careful.
很多年前 一个叫玛蒂尔达的女孩
Many years ago, a girl named Matilda
参加了索尔兹伯里牛排挑战
was in a Salisbury Steak Challenge.
然后她就长了一个不断生长的脓包
It gave her a zit that kept on growing.
实在太恶心了 她只好躲起来
It was so gross that she went into hiding.
然后再也没人见过她
And was never seen again.
孩子们 清理一下你们的餐盘
Now, kids, clean up your trays.
动起来 动起来
Come on. Move it. Move it. Move it.
我已经按你们说的做了
Now, I did what you asked.
警长死了
The sheriff is dead.
我靠
Damn.
你都把他大卸八块了
You messed him up real bad.
-几乎认不出了 -现在我们两清了
- He's barely recognizable. - Now, we're done here.
你们慢走
See yourself out.
我要准备舞会
I have a dance to prepare for.
行 再见 强尼去哪了
Okay, bye. Hey, where's Johnny?
肯定是加西亚趁我们没注意把他杀了
Garcia must have killed him when we weren't looking.
不 不 我信任他
No, no. I trust him.
毕竟 他的确杀了那个警长
After all, he did whack-a the sheriff.
我就知道我闻到了索尔兹伯里牛排的味道
I knew I smelled more Salisbury steaks.
他们正在搞索尔兹伯里牛排挑战
They're having a Salisbury Steak Challenge right now.
今天一年级舞会
牛排掉下来了
Salisburys down.
汤米赢了索尔兹伯里牛排挑战
Tommy wins the Salisbury Steak Challenge.
苏西 现在你可以和我跳舞吗
Suzie, now will you dance with me?
不
No.
我可不是你们比赛脸上粘牛排
I'm not some trophy to be won
获胜的奖品
by sticking Salisbury steaks to your face.
你酷不酷关我屁事 不过你真的很酷
I don't care how cool you are... and you're really cool.
只要能和你跳舞 我愿意重新成为无名小卒
But I would be a nobody again just to dance with you.
真的吗
Really?
这样的话 我愿意和你去跳舞
Now, I'll go to the dance with you.
各位 请看
Everybody, look.
我 汤米 吃了自己的鼻屎
汤米 你怎么可以 -什么
- Tommy, how could you? - What?
别担心 苏西 没事
Don't worry, Suzie. It's cool.
油漆喷雾
恶心 汤米
Ew, Tommy.
我可不会做这种事
That's something I would never do.
这是为了惩罚你把我推进垃圾桶
This is for pushing me into the trash.
什么 不 放我出去
What? No. Let me out.
有人吗 有人吗
Hello? Hello?
这里有人吗
Is somebody there?
只是一只猫
It was just a cat.
你是什么东西
What are you?
一年级的时候
It was 1st grade.
为了和一个叫托比的男孩跳舞
I was in a Salisbury Steak Challenge over a boy named Toby
我参加了索尔兹伯里牛排挑战赛
I wanted to dance with,
但我脸上长了颗脓包
but I got a zit on my face...
然后越长越大 你是玛蒂尔达
That kept growing? You're Matilda.
从那以后 我羞愧地生活在这里
I've lived down here in shame ever since.
没有人会愿意和我跳舞
Nobody would dance with me.
我太恶心了
I'm gross.
我愿意和你跳舞
I would dance with you.
真的吗
Really?
我准备好了
Okay, I'm ready.
自♥拍♥
角度 光线 滤镜 话题
完美的自♥拍♥能让你的粉丝嫉妒
Now, the perfect selfie will make your followers jealous,
同时隐藏你内心的空虚
but also conceal the emptiness inside you.
社会学
如何拍出完美自♥拍♥
所有一年级学生 快来参加舞会
All 1st graders, head to to the 1st grade dance.
等我们找到加西亚的时候 你去把他宰了
Now, when we find Garcia, I want you to whack him.
大卸八块 好吗
Whacky whack whack, okay?
干嘛呢
Hey! What you do that for, huh?
你去哪了
Hey, where did you go, huh?
燥起来
Damn.
新生舞会
*欢迎来到新生舞会*
*Welcome to the 1st grade dance*
*我是你们的警长 你们的守护者*
*It's your boy, Sheriff I'm your chaperone*
*来跳舞吧*
*Hey, let's dance*
都给我跳起来
Let me see some dancing out there.
快看 汤米的舞伴是颗巨大的脓包
Look, Tommy's gonna dance with a giant zit.
-她是个怪人 -比怪人还怪
- She's a freak. - She's worse than a freak.
她是个怪物
She's a monster.
怪物 怪物
Monster. Monster.
都给我住嘴
Everybody, shut up!
如果说我今天学到了什么的话
If there's one thing I've learned today,
那就是因为别人与众不同
it's that it's not right to judge people
而去以貌取人 这样是不对的
just 'cause they're different.
-干什么 -他们外表可能不同于常人
- Hey, what you doing? - They might be different...
但内在才是最重要的
But it's what's on the inside that matters.
玛蒂尔达
Matilda?
玛蒂尔达 这些年来你去哪了
Matilda, where were you all these years?
托比·加西亚
Toby Garcia?
我本来想和你一起跳舞的 但长了颗痘
I wanted to dance with you, but I got a zit.
-我的小群体呢 -你是酷孩子吗
- Where's my group? - Are you a cool kid?
-不 你是书呆子吗 -我们看起来都一样
- No. Are you a nerd? - We all look the same.
因为我们本来就一样
Because we are all the same,
不论你脸上 腿上还是手上有刺青
no matter if you got tattoos on your face or feet or hands.
我们都是一样的 现在 一起跳舞吧
We are one. Now, dance together.
*为什么不一起友好生活呢*
*Why can't we live together*
*生活在我们共同的星球上*
*In the world we share*
*我们共同的星球*
*The world we share*
很开心能和你一起跳舞 苏西
I'm having fun dancing with you, Suzie.
-我也是 汤米 -腌黄瓜先生也会跳舞
- You, too, Tommy. - Mr. Pickles can dance, too.
都说了狗不准进来
Hey, I told you, no dogs allowed.
*...随着岁月流逝*
*...Understanding long time gone*
*让我们团结在一起*
*Let's come together*
*团结在一起*
*Come together*
*就像...*
*It feels like we're...*