腌黄瓜先生

老镇新闻
腌黄瓜先生去世了
安息吧 好孩子
你们都想知道腌黄瓜先生是怎么死的 对吗
So, you all want to know how Mr. Pickles was killed, huh?
说来话长
Well, that's one heck of a story.
一切都发生在一周之前
See, it all started about a week ago...
我要把外公当作酒吧谋杀案的嫌疑人捉拿归案
I'd wanted Grandpa for those murders in the bar,
某些迹象表明 他在墨西哥城
and something told me he was in Mexico City,
经过调查后
which, after some detective work,
登机前往墨西哥城
我推测他大概在墨西哥
I deciphered was probably in Mexico.
我向古德曼一家保证 会认真处理此案
I assured the Goodmans I was taking this case very seriously.
警长官方事务 外公
腌黄瓜先生 谁是好孩子
Who's a good widdle boy, Mr. Pickles?
你是
You are!
警长 我知道我爸爸疯了
Sheriff, I know my dad's crazy,
但你真的觉得他是凶手吗
but do you really think he's a killer?
老镇有几百件悬而未决的谋杀案
Old Town has hundreds of unsolved murders.
好孩子 腌黄瓜先生
Good boy, Mr. Pickles.
外公出现在了案发现场
Grandpa was at the scene of a murder.
还有谁会是凶手
Who else could the killer be?
-腌黄瓜先生 -什么
- Mr. Pickles! - Huh?
警长 他一直在对碧希爪夫人做这种事
Sheriff, he's been doing this to Mrs. Prissy Paws.
她是走秀犬 不是流浪狗
She's a showdog, not a tramp!
-真不错 -什么 不
- Ohh, boy! - Huh? No!
-看看他 -警长 做点什么
- Look at him go! - Sheriff, do something!
我也希望能帮忙
Wish I could help.
但我还有外公这条大鱼要抓
But if wishes were fishes, I'd have bigger Grandpas to fry.
我要抓到他 再见
And I do. Peace out.
腌黄瓜先生出品
血肉之树
我一到墨西哥
Once I flew into "Meh-hico,"
就开始到处询问
started asking all the right questions.
我要尿尿
I got to go pee-pee.
班卓琴在哪[警长把厕所说错了]
Donde esta el banjo?
接着 我开始了解那里的风土人情
Next, I got to know the locals.
滚出去
Vamanos!
把照片还给我 你这头蠢驴
Give me back my picture, you stupid donkey!
终于 我找到了知道消息的人
Finally, I found somebody with some "Info-may-cion."
你好
Aloha.
你见过这位外公吗
You seen this Grandpa?
谋杀犯 外公
当然
I sure have. Ha!
不好
Uh-oh.
我们出去走走吧
Now, let's go for a little ride.
外公说服了我 在送他进监狱前
Grandpa convinced me to willingly take him
让他体会最后一次的快乐航程
on one last joy flyde before I took him in.
把枪还我
Give me my gun!
看来他自己也在搜集信息
Seemed he'd been looking for some information of his own.
那是什么
Hey, what's that?
他说自己在墨西哥的某个神庙中
Said he'd learned about some Mexican temple
找到了一张地图
where he found a map.
庞贝拉扎·索根纳克斯之城
失落之城 庞贝拉扎·索根纳克斯
The lost city of the Pabanatra Thogonothorox.
如果能找到它 也许我可以发现
If I can find it, maybe I'll find a way
杀死腌黄瓜先生的办法
to kill Mr. Pickles.
天哪 你真的疯了
Geez, you really are crazy.
真的吗 你看
Oh, really? Look!
什么情况
What the hell?
这地方让我起鸡皮疙瘩
Uh, this place gives me the jeebie-heebies.
赶紧自首 这是你最后的机会
Just turn yourself in. Last chance.
好 我知道了
Okay, I get it.
很好 那就送你去监狱
Great. Let's get you to jail.
不 我知道腌黄瓜先生为什么是邪恶的了
No, I get why Mr. Pickles is evil.
看 庞贝拉扎本来是人类文明
See, the Pabanatra was originally a human civilization
以献祭犬类来安抚众神而闻名
known for sacrificing dogs to appease the gods.
但有一天 他们献祭了一只狗
But one day, they were sacrificing a dog
名叫普祖里法 它的主人是一个老女巫
named Purzunipher, who belonged to an old witch.
她对王座释放了咒语
She cast a spell on the kingdom,
在杀死她的狗后
and after they killed her dog,
一只小狗从灰烬中站起 冈兹塔 第一只恶犬
a puppy arose from the ashes, Gunthztar, the first evil dog.
他统领了动物
He gained control of the animals
有了它们的帮助 夺走了王座
and with their help, took over the kingdom.
在那之后 庞贝拉扎
After that, the Pabanatra was ruled
就一直被狗统领着
by one dog after another --
别再扯这些有的没的了 我们走
Okay, enough about Poonstar and Glib Glob. Let's go.
不 我才刚说到最有意思的部分
No, I'm just getting to the really interesting part.
你看 当这些邪恶的狗
You see, when the evil dogs...
他一直不停地说着没人会在乎的
He just went on and on with these overly specific details
具体细节
nobody would ever care about.
于是腌黄瓜先生就成了最后一只邪恶的狗
And that's how Mr. Pickles became the last evil dog
并来到了老镇
and wound up in Old Town.
时间到了 外公
Time's up, Grandpa.
我要送你进监狱
I'm taking you to jail!
恐怕我不能让你们走
I'm afraid I can't let you leave.
我猜猜 腌黄瓜先生
Let me guess. Mr. Pickles turned you
把你变成人体蜈蚣 再把你流放到这个岛上
into a centipede, vanished you to this island,
现在你必须要让那只秃鹫告诉腌黄瓜先生
and now you must send that vulture to tell Mr. Pickles
我们在这 不然他就会折磨你
we're here, or he'll torture you --
好了 外公有些失常了
All right, Grandpa's a little crazy.
疯子
Whack job.
不 他说的一点没错
No, that's exactly right.
腌黄瓜先生把我变成了这样
Mr. Pickles did this to me,
因为有一次我想杀了他
because I tried to kill him once.
我也是 但他太聪明了
Me, too. But he's too smart.
-聪明 而且不信任任何人 -任何人
- ...smart. And he trusts nobody. - ...nobody.
-那只狗是邪恶的 -邪恶的
- That dog is evil.... - Evil.
我们还挺默契的
I think we're having a moment.
没错
Yeah.
在这个岛上 难免会寂寞
You know, it gets so lonely here on the island.
什么 不了 抱歉
What? No. Sorry.
警长 你没看到吗
Uhh, Sheriff? Can't you see?
腌黄瓜先生是邪恶的 他诬陷我谋杀
Mr. Pickles is evil! He framed me for murder.
拜托 腌黄瓜先生是个好孩子
Come on. Mr. Pickles is a good boy.
他一直帮我抓捕镇上的谋杀犯
He's always helping me catch murderers around town.
他以前是我的警犬 我们是好朋友
You know, he was my K-9 dog once. We're friends.
腌黄瓜先生信任你
So, Mr. Pickles trusts you?
腌黄瓜先生 当然 我们关系可好了
Mr. Pickles? Oh, yeah. We're tight.
那我们就能利用这一点
Then we can use that to our advantage.
你说什么
What are you talking about?
这本老女巫咒语书
Here, the Old Witch's Spell Book.
没人在乎这破书
Nobody cares about some dumb book!
把枪还给我
Now, give me back my gun!
你可得小心对待这本书
You must be careful with this book.
如果这本书离开了房♥间 火山就会爆发
If it leaves this room, the volcano will erupt.
你看 "当血肉之树的仪式
Here! "When the ritual of the Tree of Flesh
在活着的灵魂上施展时
is performed on a living soul,
一棵树就会发出扎贡之光
a tree will emit the light of the Zarg-glarg.
任何进入扎贡之光的人
Any bodies who enter it will have their living souls
就会转移自己的灵魂
moved from one body to another.
我的身体无法接近腌黄瓜先生 再把他杀了
Oh, I can't get close enough to kill Mr. Pickles in my body,
但警长的身体可以
but I could in Sheriff's.
等等 什么
Wait. What?
放开我
Hey, let me go!
首先 要用金枪鱼抽他一百耳光
First, he must be slapped in the face with a tuna 100 times.
什么 好疼
What? Aah!
他们对我做了惨绝人寰的事
They did horrible things to me.
让我吃下塞满老鼠屁♥股♥的树懒屁♥股♥
Made me eat a sloth's butt that was stuffed with mouse butts.
让蝙蝠拉着我的眼皮
Tied bats to my eyelids and let a wild boar
再让野猪去舔我肚脐眼里的甲虫呕吐物
lick beetle spit out of my belly button.
一边让蜥蜴在我耳朵里拉屎 一边让我倒着念名字
Made me say my name backwards while lizards pooped in my ears
还让海狸揍我的胃 诸如此类的事
and a beaver punched me in the stomach, so on and so on.
但他们对我做的最后一件事
But the last thing they did to me,
真让人难以启齿
Ugh, it's hard to even talk about.
最后 他必须吃下一棵小椰菜