幸福终点站（2011）

Happy Endings S01E12

Part 3 June 17, 2021, 2:09 p.m.

新郎这边有人要说几句吗
Okay,would anyone from the groom's side like to say anything?
不不 - 别去啊 Pen...
no. No,no,no. - Don't,pen. Pen...
我要来说几句你很美不过姐更美
Boop,boop. I want to say something. I do. You're cute,but I'm cuter.
大家好啊
Hey,everybody.
姐的芳名是Penny Hartz - 没错
My name is penny hartz. - yep.
我是Shershow的旧友之一
and I'm one of shershow's oldest friends.
咱俩现在同时坠入爱河了多好啊
And how amazing is it that we both fell in love at the same time?
你找到了Melinda 我有Derrick
You found melinda,and I... I found derrick.
唱吧小妞
Sing it,bitch!
诡异之夜
Magical night.
祝福Melinda和Shershow
So congratulations,melinda and shershow.
你们已经找到彼此
You have found each other,
现在你们可以做自己了
and now you will never have to pretend to be something that you're not.
不妙
Not nice.
让我们举杯姐要翻了
So let's raise our glasses - Going down.
绝对的Shershow - 露点了唉
Classic shershow. - That's a nipple.
今晚Pen真不好过
Oh,rough night for pen.
可怜的娃她像滑雪橇一样骑那玩意
Oh,poor girl. She rode that thing like a bobsled.
就是
Yeah.
我很想邀你进屋但Brad对咱的房♥间保证过我照他说的做
I'd invite you in,but brad made a promise to our hotel room that I gotta help him keep.
没关系啦去吧我自己能行
That's all right. Go on. I'm fine on my own.
哦天哪
Oh,boy.
你好 - 客房♥服务
Hello? - Housekeeping?
你能晚点再来吗
Can you... Come back... Later?
人家正要嘿♥咻♥一番
I'm about to have sex.
好的 - 谢谢
Yeah. - Gracias.
你昨晚后来怎么样
How'd the rest of your night go?
没怎么样就睡了
Didn't do much. Just... Went to bed.
是吗 - 嗯
Oh,yeah? - Yep.
Tiffani当时也在床上我们就做了 - 被发现了吧
And tiffani was in that bed,and we had sex. - Busted.
你知道我有多喜欢镇得住场的演讲者
Well,you know... How I love great public speakers.
你这帮手挺靠谱的 - 多谢夸奖
And you-you were a fantastic wingman. - Thank yo
咱们这朋友关系真不错
this me-and-you-friends thing is kinda nice.
是挺好的
Yeah,it is nice.
你知道还有啥不错嘛 Tiffani在做的时候...
You know what else was nice? Tiffani was doing this thing -
够了
all right.
跟Max和Brad说吧
Tell max and brad.
然后你夺过麦克风
And then you grabbed the mic
说了15分钟关于两性不同的单口相声
and did 15 minutes of stand-up about the difference between men and women.
至少我没爆料我的韩裔奶奶
At least I didn't bust out my... Korean grandma!
Geisha奶奶她出柜了
Oh,grandma geisha? She came out.
你们收到咱们无纸化的邀请了吗
Hey,guys,did you get our paperless post invitation?
你是指你们在Shershow婚后怪异的重婚大典吗收到了
Oh,you mean to your weird re-wedding after shershow's real wedding? Yeah.
请尽快确定你们的出席情况我好算人头数
Yeah. Just make sure you r.s.v.p. So I can get an exact head count.
我们总共就六个人 - 是啊
There's only six of us. - Yep.
就关心出席情况别的甭管懂吗
Just r.s.v.p. Don't see what the big problem is. Okay?
你至少只会发酒疯
At least you only act crazy when you're drunk.
天哪 Shershow要当逃跑新郎了
Oh,my god. Shershow is runaway grooming it.
那不叫逃跑吧我看是闲晃
I wouldn't call that running away. He's kinda more sauntering.
他是晃跑新郎
He's the sauntering-away groom.
Shershow 不要去哪儿
Shershow,where are you going?
我想试试车是否装得下所有的行李
Um,I was just trying to see... If all the luggage fit in the car.
别装了
Oh,nice try.
但你昨晚说的话真的吓到我了
Yeah,but what you said last night really freaked me out.
我是说我已经不是自己了
I mean,I am-i'm pretending to be meone I'm not.
我不该是这样的我是Shershow
I'm not this guy. I'm shershow.
但是你不再是了
But... You're not.
你现在有工作还有一辆豪华两厢
You've got a job now and a car with a hatchback.
是啊很酷吧装卸行李不费吹灰之力
Yeah,it's pretty sweet,huh? It makes loading and unloading a breeze.
但我们都心知肚明我只会把这一切搞砸
But we both know that i'm just gonna end up screwing all this up.
我会在有重要会议的那天睡过头
I mean,I'm gonna oversleep some morning where we have a really big meeting,
他们会派我去参加一些聚会而我只会傻乎乎带回来一条蟒蛇
or they're gonna send me out to get a party sub, and I'm just gonna come back with a python.
你为什么这么做
Why would you do that?
因为我是Shershow啊
Because I'm shershow.
我是那种即使没有吃芥末酱衣服上也会粘到芥末的傻帽
I'm the type of guy who-who gets mustard on his shirt when i'm not even eating mustard.
我是Shershow 我就是这样的
I'm shershow! That's who I am.
你不再是原来的你了你现在是Jason了
Not anymore you're not. You are jason now.
你配得上像Melinda那样的好姑娘 - 真的吗
And you deserve an amazing girl like melinda. - Really?
当然快去结婚吧
Yeah. Now let's go get you married.
好 - 好...这真沉
Okay. - Okay. Ooh,that's a heavy one.
我来 - 好的
Okay. - Yeah.
真不敢相信他们让我坐在最后
I can't believe they made me sit back here.
根本没有婚礼扫把星这回事
There's no such thing as a wedding jinx.
这可不妙
That can't be good.
拜托不要别走
Oh,come on. Don't go,don't go.
似曾相识的感觉啊
This feels familiar.
我这就去跟Melinda谈谈
I gotta go talk to melinda.
你别去 - 我必须去
No,you don't wanna do that. - I have to.
她还是去了
And she's doing it.
凭我的经验这不是个好兆头
In my experience... This is not gonna turn out well.
真的 - 是啊
Really? - Yeah.
我要不要去追她
Should I go after her?
追不追都没关系了
It doesn't matter.
那我还是留下吧
I'll stay.
Melinda 听着别做傻事
Melinda... Look,don't do this.
我知道你一定很害怕
Okay,I know you're scared.
你大概通过那条红毯看见了你的未来
You probably looked down that aisle and saw your whole future,
那并不完美但是这不代表它不会越来越棒
and it wasn't perfect,but that doesn't mean it can't be great.
不要步我的后尘
Okay,don't do what I did,
否则到最后你只能和你今生的挚爱
or you'll wind up pretending to be best friends
佯装好朋友了
with the guy who could've been the love of your life.
不我没有要逃跑
No,I wasn't running away.
我的胸罩坏了整个胸部差点都露出来
My bustier broke,and my boobies were just all over the place.
它们看起来很性感那我走了
Well... Well,they look hot now. So I'm going to go.
我只是来看看事情还顺利吗
I just... Wanted to make sure everything was okay.
很好
Yeah,fine.
我要走了
I'll go now.
把这个给我谢谢
I'm gonna need that. Yeah. Thank you.
"只要在你怀里我的心就会平静"
"... In your embrace,my heart retreats.
"爱情能够超越时间"
"love-a force of beating time.
"爱情能够彻底让我臣服" - 该死的
Love-a war I cannot fight... " - damn,man.
贱♥人♥
That son of a bitch.
好吧我输了20块但是很值得
Well,lost 20 bucks,but it's worth it.
"沉睡不是为了进入梦乡"
"because to sleep is not to dream.
"沉睡是为了不再离开你的怀抱"
" "to sleep is to not leave your touch.
"我宁愿几天几夜与你厮守不愿睡去"
For a few hours and days,I would rather stay awake.
Jason Melinda 我宣布你们结为夫妻
" Jason,melinda... I now pronounce you husband and wife.
你和Melinda之间进行了很激烈的对话吧
so... Pretty intense convo between you and melinda.
什么没有我只是...
What? No. That? I was just...
为了让她回去参加婚礼口不择言了
I was saying anything I could to get her to come back out to the wedding.
我当时只是给她当头一棒
I mean,I wathis close knocking her over the head
像警♥察♥抓小偷似的把她逮回来
and walking her out like "weekend at bernie's" style.
完全正确我也是这么想的 - 是啊
Right,totally. That's what I thought. - Yeah.
恭喜你不用再当婚礼扫把星了
Well,congrats on not being the wedding jinx anymore.
谢谢
Thanks.
想跳舞吗 - 好啊
Wanna danc - yeah
你还好吗
You okay?
我不是为了Shershow感伤
Yeah. I'm not-i'm not emotional about shershow.
我是被你的仪式感动了
I'm emotional 'cause of your ceremony.
你太牛逼了先引用祖父葬礼悼词
It was genius to go neruda
又连着用了Neruda和Sade的诗真够一气呵成
after sade after quotes from dead grandparents. You nailed it.
Penny 我作为牧师的职责
Penny,my job as the man of the clot
就是在教会与互相尊重的夫妇之间
is to create a bridge between the congregation
建立一座桥梁
and the couple built on honesty and mutual respect.
快把钱给我混账
Now give me that money,bitch!
怎么了
what's wrong?
你想让我谈谈此时的感受吗
You gonna make me talk aut feelings?
好啊
Fine.
此处省略一百字你是个好女孩
Blah,blah,blah. You're a great girl.
此处省略一千字你会遇到个好男人
Blah,blah,blah. You're gonna meet a great guy.