幸福终点站（2011）

Happy Endings S01E08

Part 1 June 17, 2021, 2:08 p.m.

我要一个总汇三明治--
I'll have the club sandwich--
两片面包薄片鳄梨不要番茄 -好的
two pieces of bread, avocado sliced thin, no tomato. -Check.
你不用把这些写下来么? -没这个必要
Uh, you're not gonna write any of this down? -I don't need to.
每个点单我都用快速记忆法来记忆
I remember every order with a handy mnemonics Device
利用首字母大写啊蜘蛛侠电影什么的
Using state Capitals and Tobey Maguire movies.
你直接写下来不是更简单嘛
Or you could just write it down.
现在...记住了
And... it's locked in.
他才没记住我们不能再坐兰迪负责的区域了
It is not locked in. We gotta stop sitting in Randy's section.
他总是把我们的菜单弄错
He always gets our order wrong
就因为他总不用笔记下来
because he never writes anything down.
如果你不是像个长岛来的姑娘一样点餐的话
You know, he'd probably get your food right
说不定他就能给你拿对了 -干嘛呀你
if you didn't order like a girl from long island. -Oh, mygod.
好了别再抱怨了我们都清楚
Okay, just please don't complain, 'cause we know
一旦被讨厌了他们会对你的菜动什么手脚
what happens in the kitchen when they don't like a
你真的认为他们往你菜里吐了口水?
customer. -Do you really think they spit in your food?
不，我觉得给我装宽带的那个人偷♥窥♥了我的裸体
No, I think my Cable guy has seen me naked.
我当然知道他们会往菜里吐口水 -我就不会我可是
I know they spit in our food. -Not me. I was
最优秀的服务生重要的是销♥售♥策略
the best waitress. It's all about the up-sell.
就如 "先生
It's like, "oh, no,
您真的不需要再来一盘毛伊岛鸡肉吗?
you don't want another plate of maui wowie chicken bites?"
现在还不想要吗单亲爸爸们? -苍天啊
How about now, table of divorced dads? -Damn.
又在讲你的毛伊岛鸡肉故事了?
You telling your maui wowie Chicken bites story?
我需要点新鲜故事了
I need to get new stories.
喂马科斯刚刚跟你讲话的那个人挺不错的
Hey, Max. That guy you were talking to was super cute.
快给我透露点信息 -不清楚
Give me dets. Come on. -I don't know. I
我没怎么注意忙着为
wasn't paying attention. I was too busy making
通心粉和芝士的友好关系
up a song in my head about why Mac and cheese are best
写首歌♥呢 - 嗨马科斯很高兴认识你
friends. - Hey, Max, it was great to meet you.
但我现在得走了要不下次一起出去玩玩?
Look, I've gotta run, but do you want to go out sometime?
额好啊 -太棒了那星期五怎么样?
Uh, sure. -Great. All right. Well, how about Friday?
这是我的电♥话♥号♥码
That's my number.
很好我再打给你下次见艾德里安
Okay. Great. I'll give you a call. Later, Adrian.
不错啊你!
Ooh! Yeah, girl!
黑人英国的还是同志?
Black, British, and gay?
行啊你 -是啊
Fabulous. - Yeah.
他一走进酒吧那是伦敦大桥垮下来啊
That guy walks into a bar, it's London britches falling down.
伙计们这是"欲望都市"第二季么?
Guys, what is this, "sex and the city," season two?
啦啦啦啦啦我已经录下了
Oh! La, La, La, la, la! Have it on dvr.
你不会不打算给他打电♥话♥吧? 你脑残了吧
Wait a minute. You're not gonna call that guy? Are you nuts?
算了吧他这么差劲我看得出来
Come on. He sucks. I can tell.
马科斯你怎么总是这样?
Max, why do you always do this?
在了解一个人之前就放弃了?
Why do you always blow a guy off before you get to know them?
我才没有!
I don't do that!
这车太棒了我一直想有一辆大功率车
This thing is sweet. I always wanted a muscle car.
对吧
Yeah, I know, right?
我最喜欢打开天窗
I love to just throw the top down
听着戴夫马休斯乐队的劲爆摇滚
and blast Dave Matthews.
是啊
Yep.
这是滑坡效应好吗?
It's a slippery slope, all right?
你现在不赶快放弃
You let one guy in that likes the Dave Matthews band,
接下来
the next thing you know,
就不可控制的走向
you're playing Frisbee Golf and taking it
认真的感情了 -这是你的总汇苏打水
really seriously. -Okay, here is your club soda
搭配一盘番茄就跟你点的一样 -番茄?
and tomatoes on the side, just like you ordered. -Tomatoes? (gags)
额这... -伙计们
Ooh. Uh... okay. -Uh, guys,
我--番茄--额-我对番茄...
I--tomato--I just... (gagging) I've got tomato...
没事没事他对番茄过敏
it's okay. He's got a thing with tomatoes.
把番茄给我 -我不能呼...我...
Give me the tomatoes. -I can't even... I mean...
他要吐了?他不吐我也吐了这...
so he'll vomit? No, if he throws up, I will. It's...
我没事我很好看吧马科斯
I'm good. I'm good. Guys... see... Max. Honey.
给我我把它拿到...我
Let me just--I think I'll take it to my--I
不要 - 马科斯马科斯给我--算了
don't want 'em. -Max. Max. Max, give m--All right.
幸福终点站
第一季第08集
你到底对艾德里安有什么意见?
What was your problem with Adrian?
他又性感又完美
That guy was incredibly Hot and perfect. (scoffs)
多大点事儿啊就因为他有英国口音?
What's the big deal? He has a British accent?
我也可以有英国口音
I could have a British accent.
(牙买♥♥加口音)"我们约在皇宫酒店喝
(jamaican accent) "Meet me at the palace for high
下午茶吧" -完全听不懂
tea, mon." -Okay, I have no idea what that was.
话说回来他能在五分钟内说了什么
Seriously, what could he have possibly said in Five minutes
让你不想跟他约会? -他太可怕了
that made you not want to go out with him? -(sighs) He was kinda terrible.
总是不停说芝加哥熊队的事
He kept going on and on about the bears.
你不是喜欢芝加哥熊队吗
You love the bears.
但他总喜欢说"我们"两个字
Yeah, but he was one of those "We" guys.
比如"我们"要加强防守
Like,"we need play Better defense."
"我们"要坚守阵型
"We need to stick our blocks."
就好像你不是队伍的一员一样
It's like, you're not on the team. (chuckles)
马科斯我以前就跟你一样
Oh, Max. I used to be just like you.
我也曾找尽所有借口去讨厌一个人
I used to look for any excuse not to like a guy,
这样就可以在他拒绝我前先拒绝他 -那是
so that I could reject him before he rejected me. -Was
是在你睡了他之前还是之后?
that before or after you slept with every guy you met?
哦! 啦啦啦啦我不要听
Ooh! (singsongy) La, La, La, la, la!
讲完了再告诉我
Let me know when you're done.
布拉德是我唯一不会以貌取人的人
Brad was the only guy that I didn't prejudge instantly,
幸好如此 -这才是我的宝贝
and thank god. -Aw, that's my boo.
我可以理解那些过去
I'm okay with Sloppy 22nds.
当然在看到他收藏的
I mean, sure, I could've bailed
那些宝拉阿布杜单曲
when I saw his collection of Paula Abdul cassingles,
或是看到他把睡衣塞进裤子里后
or when I learned that he tucks his pajama shirt in.
曾经想过要放弃 -好了到此为止
Okay, let's wrap this up.
无所谓了我已经把他号♥码扔了
It doesn't matter. I threw away his number.
看这里...
Oh. Well... (chuckles)
你留着这个是因为真心觉得我跟他有机会
Okay, did you keep this because you think we really have a shot,
还是你只是
or because you're
有收藏强迫症? -额...8比2
an obsessive-compulsive whack job? -Mm... 80/20.
我只是觉得你要给他一个机会
I just think you should give him a chance.
试着约约会
Go out on one date with him.
也许他没想象的那么糟
He may not be as bad as you think he is.
好吧我会跟他约会
All right. Fine. I'll go on a date with him,
但如果他再次把睡衣塞进裤子里
but the second he tucks his pajamas in, I'm out of
就不是我的问题了 -难道睡觉就不能打扮
there. -I don't understand why a brother can't look nice
好看点吗? 又不犯法
when he goes to bed. Is that a crime?
哦莎拉
Oh, Sara.
哦 "阿莱克斯"?
Ohh. "Alex"?
额...是戴夫
No, it's... it's Dave.
我当然知道
No, I know.
我懂了你是想玩角色扮演吧
Oh! I get it. You wanna do some role-playing.
不是你背上的纹身写着"阿莱克斯"呢
No, you have a tattoo on your back that says "Alex."
额这是纹身写的是...
Oh, my "Alex" tattoo is for...
阿莱克斯特雷贝克?
Alex Trebek?
我知道很烂但总比上个借口好
I know, but it was better than my last excuse.
是阿莱克斯... 山大汉密尔顿
Alex... ander Hamilton.
联邦党人文集是他写的吧?
He wrote most of the federalist papers?
太烂了吧 -就是啊联邦党人文集应该是
That is so crazy. -I know. I thought most of the federalist Papers
詹姆斯麦迪逊写的才对我很屌♥吧宝贝?
were written by James Madison. Impressive, right, boo?
不好意思我没注意听
Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't listening.
我在想象那个艾德里安没穿衣服的样子
I was picturing that Adrian guy naked.
我也是
So was I.
嗨 -戴夫正在说他那个
Hello. Hey, al. -You know, Dave was just telling us
"阿莱克斯"纹身严重妨碍了他寻欢作乐
about how his "Alex" tattoo is totally killing his game.
是吗?大场面? -没什么凶猛的角色
Oh. Is it? Big game? -No, not big game. Not bison.
就一两只温顺的小鹿偶尔来只角马
Just the occasional deer or two. Maybe a gnu.
你呢?
How about you?
"戴夫"纹身带来什么困扰吗?
Is your "Dave" tattoo messing up your game?
有一点所以我才把它除掉了 -是吗?
Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's why I got it removed. -You did?
恩我只是觉得是时候向前看了
Yeah, I just thought it was time to move on.
再加上不想一直重复我是戴夫奥斯本的
Plus, I got tired of saying I was a super Dave Osborne
超级粉丝 -什么?!怎么会有人不想承认
fan. -What?! how could you get tired of telling people you're
是他的超级粉丝?
a super Dave Osborne fan?
也许我也该把它除掉了
Well, maybe I should get mine removed, too.