幸福终点站（2011）

Happy Endings S01E03

Part 3 June 17, 2021, 2:07 p.m.

我要去!哦是不是没邀请我?
I'm in! Oh, was I not invited?
你是不是跟戴安娜说了
Did you tell Dianne
我们去婚姻辅♥导♥那件事了?
we went to couples therapy?
你在说什么啊小点心?
What are you talking about, biscuit?
不不不别提小点心别嘘
No, no, no, no, no. No biscuit. No boo.
别说亲爱的别提黑帅哥
No sweetie. No black han solo.
没一个你宠物的名字能让你
None of your pet names are
回避这个问题
gonna get you out of this.
现在告诉我你跟她说那事了吗?
Now did you tell her that?
好吧我说了但只因为她跟我说了那么多
Okay, I did, but only because she shared so much.
我指的是我也得向她说点啊
I mean, I had to say something.
但婚姻辅♥导♥这事能随便说吗?
Yeah, but couples therapy?
我也不知道
I don't know. Couples therapy.
对吧?咱两?婚姻辅♥导♥...这真是...
Right? Us? Couples therapy... That's...
这也太疯狂了
That's crazy.
哦
Ohh.
女士你做了什么?
Woman, what did you do?
准确的说我们没去
Technically we did not go,
但在阿历克斯和戴夫分手后我只是
but after Alex and Dave split up, I just...
我吓坏了我想去见婚姻辅♥导♥师
I was so freaked out, I wanted to go see a couples therapist
确保我们很好所以我想我会见一些
to make sure we were okay, so I thought I'd meet a few,
你知道的看谁适合
you know, see who fit.
等等你试了治疗师了?多少个?
Wait. You auditioned therapists? How many?
五个-五个?
Five. - Five?
就是五个!瞧我本认为我们有交流障碍
Five! See, I thought maybe we had trouble communicating,
但第一个治疗师说我们只是交流方式不同
but the first doctor said we just had different styles,
然后接着第二个治疗师说我需要
and then, well, the second one said that, you know, I needed
马上提出问题而且他有口臭
to bring up issues sooner, and he had bad breath,
接着第三个治疗师
and then third one
看起来像个女版斯科特巴古拉
looked like a female Scott bakula,
这让我压力太大
which just stressed me out,
因为我"人到中年"还落后好多没看
because I am way behind on my "men of a certain age"s,
而且你知道妈妈多么喜欢一个干净的录像机
and you know how mama likes a clean dvr,
接着第四个治疗师问我为什么
and then the fourth one asked me why
去找了这么多治疗师...
I went to so many therapists...
一点都不喜欢他...
Did not like him at all...
接着第五个治疗师让我意识到
And then the fifth one made me realize that
我有一个很棒的老公和一段美好的婚姻
I have an amazing husband and a great marriage,
所以周围一切都很好
so all is good in the neighborhood.
好很好-我明白你很生气
Good. Great. - Okay, you're mad,
但如果你能敞开心扉
but I wouldn't have had to go to all these therapists
我也用不着非得去找这些治疗师
if I thought that you would be open to it.
哦那么这是我的错了?行随便你
Oh, so now it's on me? Okay. All right. Fine.
等一下你要去哪儿?
Well, wait. Where are you going?
去工作因为我老婆发疯
To work, because my wife is insane.
我没发疯行吗?
I am not insane, okay?!
第一三五治疗师确定我没疯
Doctors one, three, and five confirmed that!
我们在看什么? 为什么你带着
What are we watching, and why are you carrying around
一只泰迪熊?
a Teddy bear?
别担心莫里熊他跟着我呢
Don't worry about Murray the bear. He's with me.
另外阿历克斯跟我说了你梦游的事我愿意
And Alex told me about your sleepwalking. I am willing to
打赌这个录像能证明你偷了该死的食物
bet that this tape proves that you stole the freakin' food.
她跟你说那个了?-哦当然
She told you about that? - Oh, yeah.
老兄我没梦游!
Dude, I do not sleepwalk!
我不知道为什么每个人...啊!
I don't know why everybody... aah!
我梦游-嘣!抓到你了
I sleepwalk. - Boom! Gotcha.
瞧吧你正要去冰箱那儿
See, you're gonna go to the fridge.
回头你有要去...然后你从冰箱走开
Soon you're gonna go... and you're walking away from the fridge.
那么谁偷的食物?-我为什么要鞠躬?
Well, who stole the food then? - And why was I bowing?
等等!停!看见那个了吗?
Wait, wait, wait! Stop! Stop! Did you see that?
哈?倒回去!
Huh? Go back!
倒回去!-我在倒着呢!
Go back! - I am. I am going back!
好啊
Okay.
老兄有人住在我们的天花板上吗?
Dude, is there a guy living in our ceiling?
是的伙计有个人住在我们的天花板上
Yes, dude. There's a guy living in our ceiling.
为什么我们要从马克斯那给你的商店弄油漆?
Why are we getting paint for your store from Max's?
他说他有个朋友
He said he had a guy.
马克斯的银行账户是他床下的一个垃圾袋
Max's bank account is a garbage bag under his bed,
但说到他有个涂油漆的朋友
but he's got a paint guy?
完全说得通
Makes total sense.
噢嘿
Oh. Hey.
嗨我叫马尔科姆
Hi. I'm Malcolm.
我是呃戴夫和马克斯楼上的新邻居
I'm, uh, Dave and Max's new upstairs neighbor.
他们呃...我没冰箱
They, um... I don't have a fridge,
所以他们说我可以来这儿用他们的
so they said I could come in here and use theirs.
好吧我叫阿历克斯她叫彭妮
Well, I'm Alex, and this is penny.
我们事实上只是来拿些油漆
We actually just came to pick up some paint,
很明显不在这儿
which is clearly not here.
哦有趣因为我事实上是名画家
Oh, that's funny, 'cause I'm actually a painter.
像拉斐尔或米开朗琪罗那样的?
Like Raphael or Michelangelo?
呃他们是文艺复兴时的
Well, they were, like, renaissance guys.
我更像个概念艺术家-像多纳泰罗那样的?
I'm more of a conceptual artist. - Like donatello?
事实上他是一名雕刻家
Well, he was a sculptor.
好吧我只知道三个忍♥者神龟我还是出局吧
Well, I only know three ninja turtles, so I'm out.
谁是你最喜欢的?
Who was your favorite?
恩...艺术上讲多纳泰罗
Um... for art, donatello,
论忍♥者神龟的话就喜欢拉斐尔了
and for ninja turtling, Raphael all the way.
完全赞同
Totally.
阿历克斯能跟你谈一小下吗? - 行?
Al? Can I talk to you for a skootch? - Yeah? Mm-hmm.
怎么了? - 看什么发生了
What? - See what happens
你放开自己去再次约会了
when you open yourself up to dating again?
看机会来了! - 他?真的吗?
Look what comes along! - Him? Really?
对啊他很可爱
Yeah. He is cute in,
像一个飞靶射击的乌尔里奇那样
like, a Skeet Ulrich kinda way.
他聪明懂艺术约他出去
He's smart. He's artistic. Ask him out.
好吧他是飞靶射击式的可爱
Okay, he is skeet-cute,
但我不知道该不该
but I don't know.
他是戴夫的邻居...
He's Dave's neighbor...
特蕾西鲁巴尔斯基（Dave睡了的那个高中放荡♥女♥）
Tracy lubarsky.
那么马尔科姆我不确定
So, Malcolm, I don't know,
今晚想跟我喝一杯吗?
would you like to maybe get a drink tonight?
我们可以深入讨论忍♥者神龟
We can dive into the whole ninja turtling debate.
我来不了 - 哦
I can't. - Ohh.
我得去今晚的画廊开幕式
Uh, I've got the gallery opening tonight I'm supposed to be at.
嗯你想跟我一起去吗?
Uh, would you, I don't know, like to come with me?
喔当然我喜爱画廊开幕式!
Uh, yeah. I love gallery openings!
酷你去过很多吗?
Cool. Have you been to many?
呃像有五六千
Pfft. Uh... pfft, like, five, six... thousand.
她该在哪跟你碰面?
Where should she meet you?
那就七点半在上西的画廊见吧
Um, say, 7:30 at the gallery on west superior.
听起来真不错说够了
That sounds super... erior. You're done.
噢天呐
Oh, my God.
拜! - 我说了什么?抱歉啦!
Bye! - What was that? Sorry!
我约会了
I'm doing it.
噢天呐我真为你感到骄傲他看起来真棒
Oh, my God. I am so proud of you. He seems so great.
只要能找到一个正常的好男人，牺牲什么我都愿意啊
Ohh! What I wouldn't give to find a nice, normal guy.
你这个偷食物的贼马上下来! 你知道
You get down here right now you food thief! You know,
租我这地方的俄♥罗♥斯♥人告诉我这上面
the Russian guy that rented me this place told me there was
有一个能爬行的空间但我从没费工夫看过
a crawl space up there, but I never even bothered to look.
那是因为你怕蜘蛛老兄
That's 'cause you're afraid of spiders, dude.
那是我第三大恐惧症
It's my third biggest phobia,
排在公众演讲和没化妆的变装皇后
behind public speaking and drag queens with no makeup.
咱们上去吧
Let's go up there.
我不确定老兄这可相当高
I don't know, man. It's pretty high.
快点是个男人就上来
Come on! Let's be men and get up there!
这实在容易老兄
It's really easy, dude.
这实在... 喔天呐
It's really... Oh, God.
好吧这很难这很难这很难
Okay. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard.
我上去了快来吧!快来快来
I got it. I got it. Come on now! Come on. Come on.
老兄
Dude.