幸福终点站（2011）

Happy Endings S01E11

Part 2 June 17, 2021, 2:08 p.m.

就像是梁祝
It was like whitney and bobby.
你是说像梁启超和祝枝山吗
You mean eli whitney and justin bobby?
他俩也一点关系都没有
'cause those are also two people that mean nothing to each other.
如果我只是路人那歌♥曲"Jenny"怎么解释
If I didn't mean anything to him,who's the song "jenny" about?
给叫Jenny的女生写的
A girl named jenny?
Jenny就是指Penny 好好想想
No,jenny is penny. Think about it.
字母J 旋转再合拢得到什么
Take the "j," flip it,close the loop,what do you have?
小写的b - 不是
Lowercase "b"? - no.
小写的d - 不
A lowercase "d"? - No.
上下翻转
Flip it the other way.
小写的q - 是Penny啦
"Q. - no.Penny.
烂透了
This sucks.
我只想好好玩乐一下
I mean,I just wanna go and party
不用去想怎么同时顾好Dave和Alex
and not have to worry about babysitting dave and alex.
我已经记入手♥机♥备忘了
Now I already have it in my phone.
周五晚上9点大爆♥炸♥什么时候发生待定
Friday night,9:00 p.m. Till question mark-rage.
这可不是普通的小爆
And I do not mean a small rage.
而是核爆一样的大爆♥炸♥
I mean,like,mardi gras-style rage.Okay?
乌拉拉呱呱呱
Laissez les bons temps rouler!
法语啦意思是嗨到彻底
it's "let the good times roll.
Jane喝高就变身为库克船长了
" When jane gets drunk,she turns into a creole riverboat captain.
起航 - 够了
Guar-on-tee! - That's it.
不许再看"真爱如血"了 - Jane没错
No more "true blood" for you. - No,jane's right.
如果他们去了演唱会咱就别想乐了
If they come to the concert,we're not gonna have any fun.
他们会继续上演二人转的
It's just gonna turn into another episode of the dave and alex show.
那咱这样吧
I think we know what we need to do.
Brad和Jane没法去演唱会了
So brad and jane can't go to the show.
因为Jane食物中毒呕吐不停
Jane's throwing up 'cause she's got food poisoning,
Brad看到别人呕吐他自己也吐了
and brad's throwing up because he can't see other people throw up,
他们上演家庭呕吐大戏呢
so it's a general puke spiral over there.
Penny和Max也电♥话♥我了说不能去
Penny and max called and said they can't come either.
Penny被锁在商场里了 Max捡到个小孩
Penny got locked in a mall,and max found a baby.
这也编得太离奇了
What? That's ridiculous.
借口都找不到个好的
They can't even come up with good excuses.
他们在躲我们而已
They just don't wanna see us.
烦啊我真的很想去看演出
Yeah,this sucks,'cause I really wanted to see the show.
我也是
Yeah,me,too.
要不咱一起去吧
Maybe we should just go.
除非... - 没...
Unless... - no.
除非你不想和我一起去
Unless you don't wanna hang,just you and me.
没啊咱一起去吧
No,no,we should totally... Go... Together.
一起开车上路
We should go on a road trip together.
去参观美国所有棒球场
We could see every ballpark in america.
还是先说演唱会吧
Uh,why don't we just start with a concert?
好吧
Yeah. Okay.
咱不会尴尬的
This isn't gonna be weird at all.
是啊肯定正常除了我还要强调"正常"
No,it's gonna be totes normal... Except that I just said "totes.
走吧咱找乐子去让他们羡慕嫉妒恨
" Come on.Let's show 'em what a good time they're missing.
好
Okay. - Okay.
茄子 - 茄子
Ready? - Yeah.
还不错真想欣赏他们看到这彩信时的表情
Nice.Wish I could see their faces when they get this.
对啊
Yeah.
这么巧呀我们刚收到你们的彩信
Hey,guys.We just got your text.
你们在搞什么飞机
What's going on?
先是对咱撒谎然后抛下我们来演唱会了
First you lie to us,and then you show up without us?
看起来是这样的辩解一下啊
Well,I know this looks bad,but in our defense,
我们以为你们不会来
we didn't think you guys were gonna come here.
老大能找个好点的辩解吗
Dude,how is that a defense?
没想到你们俩会一起来啊
I can't believe the two of you guys came together.
没错都告诉你X遍了我俩好着呢
Yeah,we did,because we're fine,like I told you a bajillion times.
你懂的吧没有X遍这个说法
You do know that that's not a real number,right?
你还老说
'cause you use it a lot.I just...
也没bajina（vagina阴♥道♥）的说法
Neither is bajina.Not a real word.
同学拜托
Guys,come on.
一起看赤脚踏板不正好让我俩和解嘛
What better way to bring us back together than to go to a pedaler show?
让我们回到从前
I mean,come on.Let's be the college us.
对
Yeah.
谁说我们嗨不起来
Who dat say we ain't gonna have some fun?
谁说的谁说的
Who dat? Who dat?
谁说我们嗨不起来
Who dat say we ain't gonna have some fun?
谁说的谁说的
Who dat?! Who dat?!
悠着点 James Carville
Pump the brakes,james carville.
白人染个彩虹头喝
white guy with rainbow dreads.Drink!
腋毛姐
Oh,girl with armpit hair.
腿毛姐喝了贱♥人♥们
Girl with leg hair.Jon lovitz!Drink,bitches!
真不知道这游戏到底怎么玩
I have no idea how you win this game...
但我敢肯定Jane领先
But I am positive jane's in the lead.
领先! - 领先!
In the lead! - In the lead!
怎么你比我还醉
How are you more drunk than me?
因为之前就喝了点
'cause I pre-gamed.
亲爱的换个新游戏吧
Okay,babe,let's play a new game.
名字叫弄点吃的給老婆
It's called "feed my wife some food.
我去给你弄点吃的吧亲爱的
" I'm gonna grab you something.Okay,honey?
要离舞台近点就好了
I wish we were closer!
其实我还挺喜欢后排冷清的感觉
Oh,I kinda like chilling out back here,you know?
我知道你们的意思了
I - I hear you guys.
想要我去后台找Tommy
Want me to go backstage,talk to tommy,
看他能不能给我们找个靠前的位置
and see if he can get us a table up front?
你幻听吧
No one said that at all.
收到消息表示有压力
Message received.Arm twisted.
另外我想让他知道我在场
Besides,I wanna let him know i'm here
这样他唱"Jenny"时可能会让我上台
just in case he wants to pull me up onstage when they sing "jenny.
她很快就会恢复正常是吧
" You guys think she'll come to her senses,right?
我就不用整晚看着Penny了
I don't have to be on penny patrol all night?
姐看起来还像学生吧
I still look 20,right?
明白 - 没错吧
I got it. - See?
大家现在多嗨啊
We're having fun!
我们相处得越来越好了不愉快都结束了
Yes,and it's only getting better.It's called closure.
遗忘掉婚礼...
The wedding is behind us..
退回了所有的礼物写感谢信完了
I sent back all the gifts.Wrote the thank-you notes.Done.
等等寄了感谢信吗
Wait.You sent out the thank-you notes?
写了什么
What'd you say?
我是按照Emily Post的建议去做的
Oh,I just-I put down what emily post recommended in this situation-"
"婚礼未举♥行♥ 因此而退回您贴心的礼物"
we are returning your thoughtful gift because the wedding didn't take place.
你不觉理由没解释清楚吗
" kind of vague,don't you think?
就像说肯尼迪在没能完成在达拉斯访问
I mean,that's like saying the rest of j.f.k.'s tour of dallas did not take place.
那你觉得我该写什么
What was I supposed to write?
触发点
There's the trigger.
战争一触即发了
Here come the fireworks.
没没
No.No. No,no.
怎么了 - 我们很好
What's going on? - We're fine. We're fine.
俺们不在外晒自家丑闻
We are not airing our dirty laundry in public.
对不晒丑闻亲爱的 (laundry也有待洗衣物的意思)
Yeah,no more laundry,mon cher.
干净小内都叠好了放抽屉里
Her undies are clean,and they're stacked in the drawer
袜子也都团成小团
next to the socks which are... In the little balls.
都是干净的衣服
Clean clothes!
姑娘赶紧把这个玉米素饼吃下去
Woman,put this veggie burrito in you now.
我喝高了
I'm drunk.
姐是老手了，就装作你是工作人员一样
I've done this a million times.Just act like you belong.
闭嘴 Steven Tyler
shut up,steven tyler.
不你知道我喜欢打麻将
No,you know I love mah-jongg.
麻将
Mah-jongg?
好了我要挂了我得去一趟后台
Um,steven tyler,okay,I gotta go 'cause I gotta head backstage and-oh.
没有通行证哪都不许去
You're not going anywhere without a pass.
嗨帅哥
Hey,listen,hi,handsome.
我要告诉你一点小秘密
You know,let me let you in on a little secret.
我和Tommy 就是那个弹电吉他的
Um,me and tommy,you know,the electric fiddle player?
我们之间有过一段，有性关系的一段
We have a history,and it's a sex history.
好了你的计划就是让大家都尴尬死吗
Okay,is your plan to make things super-awkward for everybody?
这一点都不尴尬
It's not awkward.