幸福终点站（2011）

Happy Endings S01E04

Part 2 June 17, 2021, 2:07 p.m.

敏感呢 -戴夫亲爱的你想谈谈么?
of a hot-button issue for this guy. - Dave, honey, do you wanna talk about it?
事实上马科斯才是那个...
Actually, Max is the one who really...
因为马科斯告诉我们
'cause from what Max has told us,
那个叫阿莱克斯的女生把你给甩了...
that Alex girl leaving you... that was the best thing
这事儿真的再好不过了 -我一直都这么说啊
that could have happened. - That's what I've been saying.
现在你终于可以做回自己了 -是啊
Now you're free to be who you are. - Exactly.
然后在男人的怀抱中找到幸福
And find happiness with men.
是啊!等等这和男人有什么关系?
Yes! Wait. What's that with the men thing?
能给我俩几秒钟么?
Could you give us a quick second?
我得再要一杯
I'm gonna order one more drink.
快速提示，我父母认为你是同志 -什么?
Quick sidebar... my parents think you're gay. -What?
而且是超级GAY的那种 -为什么?
Like, super gay. - Why?
可能是因为你的elle头，好吧，上大学的时候我父母
Maybe the Ellen haircut. Look, in college, my parents found
发现了我床垫下面的钙片我慌了
my porn underneath my mattress, and I panicked.
然后我就说是你的
I said it was yours.
我的毛♥片♥怎么会跑到你的床垫下面?
Why would my porn be under your mattress?
我又慌了，就说你有次躺在我床上
I panicked again, and I said that you used to lie in my bed
而且超级迷恋我 -你抗压能力实在太差
and were obsessed with me. - You are not good under pressure.
你以为我不知道? -我们要立刻把这事彻底澄清
Don't you think I know that? - We are clearing this up once and for all.
霍华德葆琳马科斯有话要说
Howard, Pauline, Max has something
他憋了很久了
he's been meaning to tell you for a long, long time.
额...这个说起来有点难为情
Uh... this is, uh, kinda tough to say,
恩戴夫是同志
but, um, Dave's gay.
哦亲爱的我们早就知道了
Oh, honey, we knew that.
是啊很明显
Yeah, it's pretty obvious.
马科斯
Max.
我之所以和彭妮分手是因为...
The reason I'm not dating Penny anymore is 'cause...
我嗯...
I'm, um...
嘿亲亲，很抱歉我来迟了嗨
Hey, boo! So sorry I'm late. Hi.
嗨 -我的现任女友是简
Hi. - I'm dating Jane now.
啊 -额?
Ah. - Hmm?
瞧瞧这一对怎么样?
Get a load of these. Huh?
我就是喜欢...大♥波♥波 -真的?
I love... lady parts. - Do you?
真的
Yes.
真不相信我们现在才认识
I can't believe we just met.
跟你聊感觉很舒服 -你也是
You're so easy to talk to. - You, too.
通常第一次约会我都会感觉压力超大
And usually on first dates, I feel so much pressure
因为要装成一个博览群书的人
to pretend I read.
真的看书最讨厌了
I know. I hate reading.
哎 -您的账单
Ugh. - Here you go.
我请客 -你真贴心
Oh, no, let me get this. - So sweet.
彭妮?
Penny?
彭妮哈茨?
Penny Hartz?
彭妮
Penny.
嘿明天晚上可以请你吃饭么?
Hey. Can I take you to dinner tomorrow night?
这个酒吧挺适合相亲
This bar's fine for a blind date,
不过你值得去更好的地方
but you deserve to be taken somewhere exceptional.
喔你怎么可能还是单身?
Wow. How are you still single?
我也想问你同样的问题呢
I could ask the same thing about you.
失陪一下
Excuse me for a second.
喔黑卡你是在积分消费么
Oh, black card. Are you enjoying your reward points,
那个...
mister...
"希♥特♥勒♥"?
"Hitler"?
爸妈你们终于有机会见到我的新女友了
Mom, dad, I'm so happy you get to meet my new girlfriend,
亲爱的真高兴你及时赶到了
and, honey, so glad you got to make it.
我去搬个椅子 -我去帮你简?
I am gonna grab a chair. - I'll help you with that chair. Jane?
你不帮忙搬自己的椅子么?
So... You don't wanna help with your own chair?
好吧
Hi.
那椅子一定很重啊 -是啊
That must be quite a chair. - Yeah.
你来这干什么?
What are you doing here?
我以为我们都同意马科斯今晚要出柜的
I thought we agreed Max is gonna come out tonight.
我想了想
I thought about it,
如果他还没准备好我们决定了也没用
and I decided it is not up to us to push him if he is not ready.
所有你准备让他一直这么撒谎?太逊了
So you're gonna let him live a lie? That sucks.
嘿！别和我女朋友那么讲话
Hey! You don't talk to my girlfriend like that!
简如果你真要这么做
Listen, Jane, if you're gonna do this,
你得了解好多背景故事
there's a lot of backstory that you need to know.
别担心，都是小菜一碟
Don't worry. I am gonna crush this.
我就是迷惑家长的海♥洛♥因♥，好吗?
I am parent heroin, okay?
葆琳霍华德真开心终于见到你们了
Pauline, Howard, it is so great to finally meet you.
我有一个绝妙的周末计划
I have an awesome weekend planned.
葆琳明天早上你和我折扣店见
Pauline, tomorrow morning, you, me, outlet malls,
中午霍华德和我去打高尔夫
and then at noon, Howard and I are gonna tee off, and bring
记得带钱包哦我可不会帮你省钱哦
your wallet, 'cause I am not gonna go easy on you, okay?
真的?行啊不过你不忙么?
Really? That is so great. You're not too busy?
不忙的为我心爱男人的父母
No, I would do anything for the two people
我愿意做任何事
that made this guy possible.
是吧亲爱的? -是的
Right, honey? - Yeah.
过来 -什么?
Come here. - What?
过来 -好吧
Come here. Mm. - Okay.
戴夫别嫉妒
Dave, don't be jealous.
你会遇到你的白马王子
You'll meet your knight in shining armor.
我可没嫉妒因为我不是同志
I'm not jealous, 'cause I'm not gay.
好了两杯苏格兰威士忌这是你的水果汁
Okay, two scotches, ahd here's your daiquiri.
有没有搞错，伙计你来的也太准时了吧
Really, guy, that's your timing?
你知道那真是个有趣的名字海特勒
You know, that's an interesting name... Hyte-ler
是希♥特♥勒♥
It's Hitler.
噢不是发 "海特勒" 吗?
Oh, it's not pronounced "hyte-ler"?
不是 - 可能吗?
No. - Could it be?
这种情况经常发生
This always happens.
每次女孩们听到我的名字她们都会这么想
Whenever girls hear my name, all they can think is,
"他和希♥特♥勒♥是亲戚吗?"
"Is he related to that Hitler?"
我可不这么想不过你是吗?
I am not thinking that. Are you?
不当然没关系一点关系都没有
No, of course not. There's no relation at all.
你的家族没有想过改名字吗?
And your family never considered changing the name?
好吧这么说吧
Okay, here it is.
在美国希♥特♥勒♥这个名字已经存在200年了
The American Hitlers came to this country 200 years ago.
我们可是原住民
We were regular solid citizens.
我的堂兄罗恩希♥特♥勒♥ 拥有中东第二大的
My cousin, Ron Hitler, owns the second largest
床垫产业链
mattress chain in the midwest.
他卖♥♥了很多mein kampforters吗（彭妮以为是德语床垫）
Does he sell a lot of "mein kampforters"?
说的不错，听着，你看上去好极了，我发誓
That's good. Look, you seem great, and I swear,
我很正常所以我们可以回到你只是彭妮
I am normal, so can we go back to when you were just Penny,
而我只是道格一个希望可以在
and I was just Doug, a guy hoping that you'd have
明晚与你共度晚餐的人?
dinner with him tomorrow night?
当然我很乐意与你共度晚餐
Yes, yes, I would love to have dinner with you,
道格希... 道格
Doug Hi... Doug.
还需要时间适应哈?
Takes some getting used to, huh?
呃我想是的
Yes. Yes, it does.
那么
So...
他们很喜欢我
They loved me.
我知道他们会的
Knew they would.
我是说我一点都不惊讶
I mean, I'm not surprised.
我很风趣热情深情
I was funny, warm, affectionate.
那很不错宝贝
That's great, babe.
有多深情? - 噢你知道牵牵手
How affectionate? - Oh, you know, we held hands,
碰碰鼻子亲了几次 - 你亲了马科斯?
some light nuzzling, kissed once or twice. - You kissed Max?
呃我必须的那么做
Well, I had to sell it.
我是说我已经是离弦的箭了
I mean, I was on fire.
我的意思是我与一些犹太人一起
I mean, I worked in some yiddish,
讨论一点高尔夫 - 舌吻吗?
a little golf talk... - was there tongue?
你怎么这么奇怪? 他是个同志
Why are you being so weird about this? He's gay.
他现在还是吗? 这看上去很方便
Is he now? Seems convenient.
这件事让你很烦恼吗?
Is this really bothering you?
不不怎么嫉妒我知道我才是你的唯一亲亲
No. Not really jealous. I know I'm your only boo-boo.
噢
Oh.
嘿亲亲是马科斯怎么样了?
Hey, boo. It's Max. So?
你干得很不错
You nailed it.
耶! 我就知道! 我就知道!
Yes! I knew it! I knew it!
我可是家长杀手
I'm parent heroin.