幸福终点站（2011）

Happy Endings S01E01

Part 1 June 17, 2021, 2:07 p.m.

阿历克斯...
Alex...
你做我最好的朋友有20年了
You've been my best friend for 20 years.
没了你我不知道该怎么办
I don't know what I would do without you.
毫不夸张地说我会活不下去
I literally would not want to live.
但现在这都不再是问题
But I don't have to think about that ever again
因为我将和你共度余生...
because I get to spend the rest of my life with...
停!
Stop!
我反对!
I object!
那是谁?
Who is that?
阿历克斯我爱你!
Alex, I love you!
怎么回事? - 我没参加彩排
What... what's happening here? - I skipped the rehearsal,
但我很确定那男人爱阿历克斯
but I'm pretty sure that guy's in love with Alex.
别答应! 你亲口告诉我
Don't do this! You told me yourself
你压根不知道自己是否还爱他
that you don't even know if you still love him,
还有他总是忘乎所以还有...
and that he let himself go and that...
性♥爱♥很糟糕
That the sex was bad.
嘿兄弟! 我祖母在
Shh! Hey, man! My Nana's here.
阿历克斯我爱你
Alex, I love you.
跟我走吧
Come with me.
我觉得我们该
Yo, I feel like we're supposed to
狠揍他一顿 - 你上你是老黑
kick this guy's ass or something. - You do it. You're black.
他可能已经吓到了
He's probably already scared of you.
没错但你是同性恋又胖嘟嘟的
Yeah, but you're gay and chubby.
他会防不胜防的 - 胖嘟嘟?
No one will see it coming. - Chubby?
戴夫抱歉
Dave, I'm sorry.
我办不到
I can't do this.
我来了
I'm coming. Okay.
给力!
Kick-ass!
哇哦!
Whoo!
她肯定会回来的 - 她绝对会后悔
I'm sure she'll be right back. - She's totally regretting this decision.
会没事的我保证
It's gonna be okay. I promise you.
剧情大反转
Huge game changer. Huge.
额我...
Uh, I'm... uh...
我很遗憾兄弟糟透了
I'm sorry, bro. Sucks.
幸福终点站
第一季第01集
哇哦 - 溜冰鞋?
Wow. - Rollerblades?
连我都觉得穿溜冰鞋的是同性恋
Even I think rollerblades are gay,
我昨天和一男人上♥床♥了
and I had sex with a dude last night.
我知道她是你姐妹宝贝
I mean, I know she's your sister and everything, babe,
但那实在是冷血
but that was cold-blooded.
你现在真的不喝酒? - 对的
Are you really not drinking right now? - Nope.
因为我宁愿认为
'Cause I would like to think
如果这事发生在我马萨诸塞州的同性恋婚礼上
that if this happened at my Massachusetts Civil Union,
而你又是伴郎你会处于一种酒后胡言的状态
and you were the best man, you would be schlammered.
简和我处于备孕期
Jane and I are on our prepregnancy cleanse.
不准吃肉不准吃糖不准喝酒
No meat, no sugar, no booze.
我喜欢保持子♥宫♥清洁
I like to keep a tidy uterus.
她是这样
She does.
戴夫给我发了短♥信♥ 他说不想说话
Oh, Dave just texted me. Okay, he says he doesn't wanna talk,
但他..."一切都很好"? 哇哦
but that he's... "All good in the hood"? Whoa.
为什么?
Why?!
敬我们的最后一次相聚
Mm. Well, here's to the last time we were ever all together.
他们能解决的
They could still work this out.
你疯了吗? 你是疯子吗? 你发疯了吗?
Are you crazy? Are you a crazy person? Have you lost your mind?
因为阿历克斯和戴夫再也不可能
Because Alex and Dave will never be able
出现在同一间屋子里
to be in the same room together again.
也可能一个星期后我们都回到教堂
Or a week from now, we're all gonna be back at the church,
戴夫和阿历克斯也在那
and Dave and Alex are gonna be there,
我们都说笑着
and we're gonna be laughing
"落跑新娘是什么情况?"
like, "What Runaway Bride situation?"
#越是淡然#
And the less I seek my source for some definitive
#生活越是自在#
the closer I am to fine
#耶#
yeah
#生活越是自在#
the closer I am to fine
#耶#
yeah
#我去见哲学博士#
I went to see the doctor of philosophy
阿历克斯?
Alex?
嘿同伴们
Oh. Hey, guys.
怎么啦?
Wassup?
嘿! 你咋样? - 嘿怎么样?
Hey! How you doing? - Hey. How's it going?
嘿甜心!
Hey, sweetie!
很好相当好好的不得了
Great. Really great. I'm kicking ass.
我做了很多事做在线瑜伽
I've been doing lots of stuff. Uh, taking online yoga,
见识牛人他们叫我"菩提"
meeting great people. They're calling me "Bodhi,"
太酷了因为终极豪情(男主角也叫菩提)
which is awesome 'cause of "Point Break."
看了好多遍百看不厌是吧? - 不错
Been watching that a lot. Totally holds up. Right? - Good.
小洛丽怎么了对吧?
What happened to Lori petty, right?
喔! 我还发明了新饮品
Oh! I invented a new drink. Ooh!
谁想尝尝杜松子思慕雪
Who wants to try a gin smoothie?
疯了
Crazy.
加点这个多放点那个
Little bit of this, lot of that. Uh...
顺便提一下...彭妮多谢你的搅拌机
Sidebar... Penny, thanks for the blender.
很棒
It's awesome.
好了嘿嘿甜心
Okay, hey, hey, sweetie,
你和阿历克斯会没事的
you and Alex are gonna work this out.
这只是你们轰轰烈烈的爱情故事中
This is just the sad chapter
一段悲伤的小插曲
in your epic love story.
这是经典桥段男孩遇见女孩
Ah, this is a classic story of boy meets girl,
因为某滑轮男男孩失去了女孩
boy loses girl to guy on rollerblades,
男孩成了视频网站上的轰动人物
boy becomes biggest YouTube sensation
就像 "困在大号♥里的猫猫"
since "Kitten Stuck in Tuba."
被传上视频网了?
It's on YouTube?
点击量如何?-也没多少
How many hits? -Oh, barely any.
戴夫我要帮你转变下思想因为我爱你
Dave, I'm gonna break it down for you because I love you.
你的婚礼糟透了我是说就像
Your wedding was horrible. I mean, it was like
主日学校的鲨鱼袭击
a shark attack at a Sunday school.
但好的方面来看
But there is a positive,
你现在单身啦
and that is that you are single right now.
所以为何不♥穿♥上裤子? 一起去找点乐子
So why don't you go get some pants on? And let's get you some sex.
我不想找乐子我想结婚
I don't want to get some sex. I wanna get some married...
和阿历克斯
Oh. To Alex.
我不明白是...是她说性♥爱♥很糟糕的吗?
I don't get it, you guys. Did...Did she say the sex was bad?
你知道...每段感情都有喜有悲亲爱的
You know... Every relationship has its ups and downs, sweetie.
这值得好好讨论一下
Yeah, I mean, it was a big topic of conversation.
我一直觉得是她的错
I just always thought it was her fault.
我意思是我可能是有点偷懒
I mean, I might've gotten lazy.
用了些同样的动作
You know, recycled some moves.
但那么说太恶劣了
But that is s-so bad.
戴夫你正散发着霍华德·休斯的气息
Dave, you're giving off a real Howard Hughes vibe here.
我感觉再过十分钟
I feel like you're about ten minutes away
你就该用罐子装尿了
from storing your urine in jars.
一起去吃点东西吧
Let's go get you some food.
我刚吃了三个法式披萨
I just ate three French bread pizzas
和一大半世界上最大的新娘巧克力
and most of the world's largest chocolate bride.
我把手留着...用来握着 - 好吧
I left the hand... to hold. - Okay.
同伴们我没事我很好
Guys, I'm okay. I'm good.
我需要放松充充电
I'm just gonna kick back. You know, recharge the battery.
再说我还有一堆感谢信要写
Besides, I-I got a ton of thank you notes to write.
"黑暗的时期
"Darkness reigns.
希望呼出死亡的气息"
Hope gurgles out its dying breath."
"谢谢你漂亮的瓦罐"
"Thank you for the beautiful crock-pot."
好吧你不能寄这个
Okay, you can't send this.
只是个草稿同伴们我会没事的好不?
It's a rough draft. Guys, I'm gonna be fine, all right?
我只是需要一个人待着一点私人时间
I-I just need a little me time. You know, a little "D." time.
再说也许阿历克斯接着就打电♥话♥来了
Besides, Alex's next move is probably gonna be to call,
所以我应该...守着电♥话♥
so I should... stay close to the phone.
她肯定会打来的
She's definitely gonna call.
她和滑轮男度蜜月去了
She went on the honeymoon with the Rollerblade guy.
拿裤子给我
Somebody get me some pants.
#她让她的战利品跳起来#
She make her booty bounce, bounce, b-bounce...