幸福终点站（2011）

Happy Endings S01E07

Part 1 June 17, 2021, 2:08 p.m.

我说这电影肯定不是根据真实故事改编的
Ok, in no way is this movie based on a true story.
这绝对会在未来发生
It's a future true story.
僵尸启示录一定会变成现实的
A zombie apocalypse is going to happen.
要不你以为我为啥像现在这样生活呢?
I mean, why do you think I live the way I do?
嗯没志向缺乏自尊心 - 不讲信用
Mm, lack of ambition, no self-respect. Credit score in the ones.
错是因为僵尸!
No, guys. Zombies!
研究表明我们之中只有一人幸免于难
I mean, studies show only one of us would survive.
问题是...这个人是谁呢?
The question is... Which one?
这取决于生存技巧你们懂不?
Depends on survival strategy, you know?
就好比我们是反抗他们
It's like are we talking strength to fight them
还是混入其中?
Or ability to blend in and live amongst them?
混入其中?我们现在"混入其中"了么?
Amongst? Are we doing "amongst" now?
嗯哪 - 咱认真点行不?这可是生死攸关
Mm-hmm. Can we focus up here? Okay? This is life and death.
好吧要说能和僵尸混到一块的，那肯定是戴夫
All right. If we're gonna do ability to blend in, I say Dave.
反正他现在基本也就一僵尸了 -什么?!
He's basically a zombie anyway. What?!
是啊哥们我知道你的日程
Yeah, I've seen your daily routine, bro--
早上7点起床洗澡吃万年不变的纤维麦片
Wake up at 7:00, shower, eat the same fiber-based cereal
那绝对是中老年妇女的青睐
That is clearly geared towards menopausal women.
人家吃的"嘎嘣脆"是适合所有年龄段的啊
"her choice crunch" is for everyone.
额 -而且和僵尸一样你没有任何梦想
Eee. And like a zombie, you don't really have any hopes or dreams.
我有梦想! -真的?
I have dreams! Really?
我还在为我的餐馆梦想而奋斗 -哦是么
Look, I am still working on opening my own restaurant. Oh, yeah,
貌似六年前你也提过这么档子事
You were just mentioning that, like, six years ago.
是啊但是我
Yeah, but I de
今晚做了美味的牛排三明治啊
These delicious steak sandwiches for us tonight,
虽然马科斯的烤箱最高只能烧到60度
Despite the fact that Max's oven only goes up to 150.
嗯如果僵尸入侵我敢说最先挂的
Well, I could tell you who would die first in a zombie attack.
一定是马科斯
I mean, it's obviously Max.
我吐两次来表明
I did that double spit take to illustrate
你刚刚的话听起来有多蠢
How insane you sound right now.
不好意思布拉德可是简会先死 -我?
I'm sorry, Brad, but Jane would die first. Me?
当然 -你身材走样没有实才
Oh, yeah. You are out of shape, you have no marketable talents,
而且你没有任何生存技能
And you have no survival skills.
相对的虽然你有你热爱的东西
Counterpoint--there are things in this world that you love.
但你终究会被他们拖累我的冷酷的内心
That slows people down. My cold, black heart
以及避免我和其他人或物
And living without attachments
产生纠葛这才是我的优势所在啊
To anyone or anything--it's my greatest asset right there.
别这样哥们她真的很好战
Don't do this, dude. She is seriously competitive.
59个热狗
with that 59th hot dog,
小林是目前最具竞争力的大胃王
Kobayashi is now the best competitive eater in the world!
给我准备60个热狗和一个煮蛋定时器
I need 60 hot dogs and an egg timer.
我们开始僵尸之战吧疯狂的热狗女
Let the zombie Olympics begin, crazy hot dog lady.
尽管放马过来
Bring it on.
各就位预备跑!
On your mark, get set, go!
加油啊亲爱的超过他
Make it work, baby. Get him, baby.
难道我真的像僵尸?
So I'm really a zombie?
嘿振作点啊
Hey, you could stand to shake things up a bit.
我知道肉类推销员不是什么理想的工作
I know that selling meat isn't a dream job,
但收入很可观啊而且它还和餐馆业沾边
But I make good money, it's restaurant-adjacent,
我才刚刚开始喜欢这种小生活
And I just got comfortable taking deuces there.
往好的方面想想
Well, you know, on the bright side,
僵尸现在很火啊
Zombies are super in right now.
那我宁愿做个吸血鬼
I'd rather be a vampire.
哥们我们都更乐意做吸血鬼
we'd all rather be vampires, bro.
哦! -啊!
(Jane) ohh! (Max) aah!
搞定! 此时马科斯的脸
Crushed it! Right now Max's face
正被僵尸们啃食呐 -这一局说明不了什么
Is being eaten off by zombies. This is not over between us.
那就放马过来啊
Bring it.
好吧你现在是我的了不是么?
Okay, I own you, all right?
我就在你大脑中而且我拥有3间卧室
I am in your head, and I got a 3-bedroom condo in there
1个大理石台 1个披萨烤箱
With a marble island and a pizza oven
还有一台装满好酒的冰箱!
And a wine fridge!
好了我们知道了
Okay, we got it.
好吧不过亲爱的你知道那是我理想中的
Okay, but you do know that that's my dream kitchen,
厨房♥吧? -你们...你们就这么走么?
Right, babe? You guys... You guys just go, okay?
我就要飙起来了
I'm about to hit my runner's high.
咱今晚上就出去我们来大干一场!
We're going out tonight. We're gonna do it big!
幸福终点站
第一季第07集
我洗衣日的着装实在不想让人看见
My laundry day outfit is not meant for public eyes.
好吧反正这只是个自助洗衣店
It's all right. It's a laundromat.
来这的都是怪胎
Everyone here's a weirdo.
恩...不是说你
Well... Not... You.
我得换点零钱去
Oh, you know what? I gotta get some quarters.
穿的不错啊
Nice outfit.
哈你也是你经常来?
Ha. You, too. So you come here often?
衣服脏的时候才来
Only when mylothes are dirty.
哦这么一说咱俩还真有共同点
Oh, so we have that in common.
我是托比
I'm Toby.
彭妮
Penny.
这烘干机烘件衣服要N久
You know, these dryers take forever.
去隔壁喝杯咖啡..怎么样? -嗯...
You... Wanna go next door, get a cup of coffee? Oh, um...
好啊
Sure.
好的
Yeah. Okay.
那份脑子你传真过去没?
Did you fax the brains?
你看见第三区的脑子没?
Did you see the third quarter brains?
上后腰脊肉10美元一磅
Top sirloin's $10 a poun
速冻的绝对保证营养
It's flash-frozen to retain all the nutrients.
感谢您致电本公♥司♥ 祝您心情愉快
Thank you for calling trans corps. Have a great day.
我花尽了心思打扮
I spend so much time trying to look good,
结果我穿的邋里邋遢的时候
And then I wear my grungiest outfit,
竟然有帅哥看上我了
And a cute guy is into me.
我以后应该多多光顾自助洗衣店
I should hang out at laundromats more.
虽然要洗一大堆的内衣裤
Yes, I'll have to put up with a lot of abandoned underpants,
但是有偶尔出现的帅哥啊
But every on in a while, cute guy.
款爷在这呢这不比那些免费的内衣好的多么
Rockefeller over here-- too good for free underpants.
真是等不及让你们见见托比了
I cannot wait for you guys to meet Toby!
天啊我们简直是志趣相投
Oh, my god. We are into all the same things--
都喜欢家庭购物网还有网上的宠物宝宝
The home shopping network, baby animals on the internet.
他甚至很欣赏我的刺绣
He even thinks it's cool that I needlepoint.
我说你是不是在跟我奶奶约会
I gotta tell you, it sounds like you're dating my grandma.
哦简的短♥信♥
Oh, I just got a text from Jane.
她要继续在我脑子里施工?
She's building an addition on the condo she has in my brain?
不带这样的现在是休战期
Not okay. Not during a recession.
托比来了他咋还穿成那样?
Toby's here. Why is he still dressed like that?
哦神啊你知道他是什么人了吧?
Oh, my god. You know what he is, right?
他是一嬉皮士 -不可能
He's a hipster. Oh, no.
紧身牛仔裤四季带围巾
The skinny jeans, the scarf no matter the season.
彭妮这家伙绝对一嬉皮士
This guy's a hipster, penny.
你喜欢的那些东西他一概藐视 -你胡扯
All those things you like-- he likes them ironically. You don't know that.
我可没有我站在这就能感受到他的气息
Yes, I do. I can smell him from here, and he smells like
他绝对从跳蚤市场来 -你闭嘴
A flea market. Watch your mouth.
嗨你收拾好没?
Oh, hey. You ready to go?
听说有个很赞的混音作品的地下交换会
Just heard about this awesome underground mix-tape swap.
马科斯说的对
Max was right.
嘿那个用来锁自行车的东西
Hey, uh, that bike lock out there--
是你的皮带吧? -是啊帅吧?
Is that also your belt? Oh, I know, right?
超帅
Yeah.
嗯...怎么今天这么打扮?
So... What's with the getup?
哦这个么...
Oh, um... Oh...
这个...
It's, uh... Um...
今天是彭妮的洗衣日
It's penny's laundry day.
你一定很喜欢洗衣服
You must love doing laundry.
我有超强的吸灰能力浑身上下都是
I really attract stains, you know? All over.
咱走吧 -行再见
Let's head out. All right. See ya.
很高兴见到你 -我们真的很开心
Nice to meet you. The pleasure is ours.
别紧张哦
Take it easy.
你们说的对
You guys were right.
我就一僵尸
I'm a zombie--
工作时是和阿莱克斯一起时也是
in my job, with Alex.
她确实是在婚礼上跟你拜拜了
She did literally run away from you at the wedding.