幻灭（2018）

Behold, sire, as I extract a small quantity of blood.
陛下请看 我抽取了少量的血液
I only have a small quantity of blood.
我全身只有少量的血液
Excellent. I've asked the eminent Lord Lingonberry
非常好 我邀请了卓越的越橘大人
to take part in the experiment.
来协助本次实验
And may I say what a deep honor it is
我想说能协助陛下您
to assist His Majesty in this most--
令我感到无上的光荣
Strap him down!
把他绑起来
This is the first interesting thing that's ever happened to me.
这是我人生中第一件有趣的事
To test the revitalizing influence of the blood,
为了能测试血液的再生效力
I shall apply a small measure to the scalp
我将在越橘大人的头皮上滴上一点
to regrow his Lordship's once-lavish hair.
让大人曾经茂密的头发长回来
And... doink.
啪嗒
Nothing's happening.
无事发生啊
But, ho! Some hair has sprouted in his ear.
但是他的耳朵里长出了毛发
His ears were always like that!
他的耳朵一直都这样
It's like he keeps paintbrushes in there.
就像他把刷子放耳朵里似的
Yes, well, I suppose the life-giving magic may take a while.
我觉得再生魔法生效应该需要一段时间
Uh, come back in a few days, Lord Lingonberry.
过几天再回来 越橘大人
He's dead.
他死了
Pity. He was a good man. A family man.
可惜 他是个好人 顾家的人
Clearly, the volume of blood was inadequate.
很显然 血液的量不够
To extract greater quantities,
想要抽取更多的血液
we'll need more sophisticated methods.
我们得用点更巧妙的办法
Mop Girl, milk him.
抹布女孩 给他挤汁
My brain feels dry.
我感觉我的脑子有点干
Now we hope Merkimer's a big enough idiot
我现在就希望墨基墨能够傻到
to fall for this mermaid plan.
相信这个美人鱼计划
I'm feeling optimistic.
我感觉他会信的
So, Merkimer, I know I've been a little cold and distant,
墨基墨 我知道我一直有些高冷
and some would say overflowing with revulsion--
有人可能会说我讨厌你
That's okay. I don't listen to women.
没关系 我不听那些长舌妇的闲话
But before we marry
但在我们结婚
and I enter a state of semi-permanent pregnancy...
并且在我进入半永久妊娠状态之前
I just wanted to make sure you have some fun.
我只希望你能够找点乐子
That's why I insist you have a bachelor party.
所以我坚持 你需要一个单身派对
It'll be way out on the open seas
那里离公海很远很远
where the only law is the law of no laws.
并且唯一的法律就是没有法律
Anything goes.
这里的一切都将远去
Anything... goes.
一切都将远去
Anything goes!
一切都将 远去
They call it a party barge,
他们把那称之为派对游艇
and it's charting a course for Mermaid Island.
并且它正前往美人鱼岛
This island has real mermaids?
那个岛上真的有美人鱼吗
It's not just named after Gerald K. Mermaid?
而不是纪念某个名字有美人鱼的人吗
It was named after him, but it also has mermaids.
确实如此 但那个岛上也确实有美人鱼
Intriguing. But don't mermaids use their mesmo-songs
有意思 但美人鱼不是会用歌♥声
to lure men to their deaths?
来引诱并杀死那些男人吗
Ah, only weak-minded men fall for that.
只有意志不坚定的男人才会落入陷阱
So you'll be pretty much fine.
所以你肯定没事
Very well. I'm in.
好吧 那我去
What a gullible idiot.
真是个二傻子
Can I go, too?
我能一起去吗
Our first experiment with the elf blood was inconclusive.
我们用精灵血进行的初次试验结果不确定
But these new tests shall reveal its restorative powers.
但这些新测试应该可以揭示它蕴含的能量
Fly!
飞吧
Are you okay?
你还好吗
If I say no, will I seem less manly?
如果我说不好 会不会显得我很菜
Elfo, that's not possible.
当然不会了 艾尔弗
Why don't you pick on someone your own size?
你为什么不选那些体型跟你差不多的人
Like a barn!
比如一个谷仓
First of all, sweetie, shut up.
首先 亲爱的 闭上你的嘴
I'm not gonna hurt this little guy.
我不会伤害这个小家伙的
I'm gonna leech the magic out of him.
我只是想吸出他的魔法
Don't you want a magic daddy?
你难道不想要一个魔法老爹吗
No! Gosh. I don't want a magic daddy,
天哪 我才不想要什么魔法老爹
and I would never call you that even if you were!
就算你是 我也不会那样叫你
You just want your stupid Elixir of Life
你只是想要那个傻乎乎的长生灵药
so you can be immortal and rule forever.
然后你就可以千秋万载 一统江湖
God, you're selfish and cruel.
天哪 你真是自私又残暴
Selfish? Maybe. But cruel?
自私 也许吧 但我哪里残暴
Ah, also maybe.
好吧 也许是有点
Sire, harnessing the blood's power has proven difficult.
陛下 利用血液的力量极其困难
Perhaps if I had more to work with...
但如果我有更多的材料可以研究
Look at this! There's more blood in my chamber pot.
什么呀 我尿的血都比这多
If this flask isn't filled with elf blood by morning,
如果明早这个烧瓶还没装满精灵血的话
we'll grind him to a paste and see if that works better.
我们就把他剁成肉酱试试效果
Oh! If that paste doesn't work,
要是把我剁成肉酱还没用的话
I'm in real trouble.
我就倒霉了
I'm an optimist. I say the flask is half-full.
我是个乐观主义者 我看见的是半瓶血
It's not. Don't be so negative.
然而并没有 不要传播负能量
Where there's a will, there's a way. There's not.
有志者事竟成 还是歇歇吧
Shut your snouts, you dumb pigs, or I'm gonna... Oh, wait.
闭嘴 蠢猪们 不然我就 等等
Did you know that pigs are 80% blood?
你知道一只猪全身80%都是血吗
Really? Not anymore.
真的吗 现在肯定没了
I must admit, the quantity of blood exceeded my expectations.
我必须得承认 血量超出预期
So Elfo is free to go?
所以艾尔弗可以离开了是吗
For now.
目前来说是这样
Looks like I picked the wrong day to wear sandals.
看来今天不该穿凉鞋的
Was I the only one hoping for more blood?
只有我一个人还想要更多血吗
I feel weak and queasy.
我现在头昏脑涨
What you need is a nice, long boat ride.
所以你需要的就是一次美妙的远洋航行
All aboard the party barge!
现在全部上游艇吧
I hope you like fun and soggy pretzels.
我希望你们想找乐子和泡软的椒盐饼干
I hope you like me yelling!
你们也要喜欢我的大喊大叫哦
Stop right there, Your Ladyness.
停下 小姐
Delicate flower like yourself has no place on board.
像您这样的娇花不应该在船上
Good point.
您不娇
I'm so glad you're coming along, Bean.
我很高兴你来了 小碧
You'll get to know the crazy, fun me,
你很快就会认识那个疯狂而有趣的我
before spending the rest of your life with the boring, bossy me.
然后跟那个无聊又专横的我度过余生
I'm lucky in so many ways.
那我还真是幸运
Now listen up, you landhuggers.
现在给我听好了 你们这些旱鸭子
This may be a party barge,
这也许是一艘派对游艇
but the dangers of Mermaid Island be all too real.
但美人鱼岛确实危险
So drink responsibly!
所以别喝过头了
Spin the elf! Spin the elf! Spin the
转精灵 转精灵 转
Attention on the party barge!
派对游艇上的人们注意了
We be sailing now into treacherous waters.
我们将要进入危险水域
To starboard, man-eating sharks.
右舷是吃人的鲨鱼
To port, a sunset so beautiful
左舷是美丽得
the rest of your life will seem anticlimactic.
让你的后半生不值一提的落日
But the worst lies ahead!
但最糟糕的在前面
For there lurk the twin shores
那里潜伏着一对
of Mermaid Island and Walrus Island.
美人鱼岛和海象岛
And you don't want to mix those up, believe me.
相信我 你们不会想把两个岛搞混的
Let's get this underway, shall we?
那么我们开始吧
Everyone line up single file to get lashed to the masts.
所有人到桅杆那里排成一队
God forbid you lose control and jump overboard.
别失控了跳下船去
We don't want that.
我们可不想出现那情况
Anyone not tied down better plug your ears.
还没冷静下来的人最好堵上耳朵
"Ear wax"? Does it mean it's for ears or from ears?
耳屎 给耳朵用的还是耳朵里掏出来的
Arr, you'll want to put the wax in before you hear me answer.
听我回答之前 你最好把它塞上
Tighter, man, tighter! I have poor impulse control.
紧一点 兄弟 我克制冲动能力很差
You remembered to use a slipknot, right?
你打的是活结吧
I can't hear you! I've got wax in my ears!
我听不见 我耳朵里有耳屎
You rigged it so he'll break free and leap overboard, right?
你动了手脚好让他能挣脱后跳船 对吧
The plan?
我们计划好的
Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
哦 对对对
Well, no. I couldn't do it.
好吧 没有 我不能这么干
Elf defense? Try self-defense.
精灵防御 还是自卫吧