节食王国

Dietland S01E10

Part 3 June 8, 2020, 11:59 a.m.

更糟糕的是
but what was almost worse
别人告诉你这没有发生过
was to be told it didn't happen.
我真的以为我疯了
I actually thought I was going crazy.
也许我是在恋爱
Maybe I was in a relationship
而没有意识到
and I hadn't realized it.
也许我在睡觉时偶尔的微笑
Maybe I'd implied consent for this man to come into my room
就是在暗示我允许他进我房♥间
whilst I was asleep and have sex with me every night
和我做♥爱♥
by my occasional smile...
所以我活该
and that I deserved exactly what I got.
我酗酒
I am an alcoholic.
我总需要喝酒喝很多酒
I've always needed a drink or ten
来赶走这些声音
to keep my voices at bay.
但不管我喝多少
But no matter how much I drank,
这声音就是不停
this one voice would not stop.
你不必如此忍♥耐
You do not have to live with this.
所以在某一天晚上我下定决心
So one night I decided,
把枪管塞进自己嘴里
and put the barrel of the gun in my mouth...
这时电♥话♥响了
and the phone rang.
《孤独》的铃♥声♥响起来
And it was Soledad...
给我理由叫我活下去
calling me with a reason to live.
这不好笑
That was...not funny.
一点都不好笑
At all.
我们能再来一个大冒险吗
Can we have another dare?
好
Yeah, please.
你需要它就像脑袋上需要一个洞
You need that-- You need that like you need a hole in her head.
一个洞脑袋上的一个洞
A hole-- A hole in the head.
整整个整个脑袋
The who-- The whole-- The whole head had--
整个脑袋有一个洞整个
The whole head has a hole in the head. The whole--
整个脑袋就是一个洞
The whole head is a hole...
要遮瑕霜吗你看起来有点疲惫
Want some concealer? You look a little beat.
这东西多少钱
How much does this stuff go for?
这很贵吧
It's expensive, right?
不知道
I have no idea.
这些是非卖♥♥品
We don't sell them.
这些产品是内部使用的
The products are for in-house use.
是的但是如果我把这个放到易贝上
Yeah, but if I was to throw a case of this on eBay,
你觉得能卖♥♥多少
what do you think I'd get for it?
你想要多少
What do you want?
-别人说你和朱莉娅很熟 -所以呢
- People tell me you're close to Julia. - So what?
我和上百万的人都很熟
I'm close with a million people.
上百万吗
A million, huh?
这里是纽约我很出名的
It's New York. I'm popular.
你和朱莉娅的朋友熟吗
You close to any of Julia's friends?
好吧冒犯了我和警方
OK, to be rude, I spoke to the police,
联邦调查局还有上帝都谈过了
the FBI, and God herself.
我跟北极的雪一样干净得很
I could not be cleaner if I were Arctic snow.
我可不信这里没人是干净的
Yeah, I don't believe that. No one around here's clean.
但你听着这不是我的鸭子和瓶子
But you know what? Not my duck, not my bottle.
-我不明白 -听着我的问题是
- I don't know what that means. - See, my problem is,
我被卷入了某种混乱
I get all tangled up in stuff. Ya know?
比如正义与非正义的混乱
Like right, wrong...
但你是个警♥察♥
But you're a cop.
我曾经是个警♥察♥
I was a cop.
一个结了婚的警♥察♥
A married cop.
现在不是了
Not anymore.
怎么回事
How?
你在暗示什么发生什么了
Are you hitting on me? What's happening?
我是在告诉你我不在乎
I'm explaining to you that I don't care.
我不在乎你和珍妮弗怎么搞
I don't care if you're all the way up Jennifer's ass.
我需要联♥系♥上李子
I need to get in touch with Plum.
问题是李子
The thing is, Plum...
我跟她根本不熟
I barely know her.
但是朱莉娅和她熟
Well, Julia does, huh?
丽塔
Leeta?
别的什么人
Somebody?
李子
Plum.
她是你的鸭子
She's your duck.
她不一般
She's somethin'.
听着你想个办法让我联♥系♥上她
Look, you just get me a way to get in touch with her.
她不接电♥话♥
She's not pickin' up her phone.
老实说我也不知道怎么才能联♥系♥到李子
Honestly, I... have no idea how to reach Plum.
丽塔以前跟她走的最近
Leeta was the one who was closest to Plum,
而且你知道的
and, you know,
茱莉娅和丽塔她们都不在这儿了
Julia and Leeta, they're not around.
好吧
Well...
我相信你有办法能找到
I'm sure you're gonna figure it out.
*Fe... dcba*
*F-e... d-c-b-a*
李子
Plum.
李子李子李子李子李子
Plum! Plum! Plum! Plum! Plum! Plum! Plum!
大冒险大冒险
Dare! Dare! Dare!
好的凭记忆背诵你写的第一首诗
OK. Recite the first poem you ever wrote, from memory.
太坏了
That is evil.
来吧站起来
Go on, sell it. Stand up.
好吧
All right!
《同情》
"Compassion."
李子
By Plum.
同情
Compassion.
同情同情
Compassion. Compassion.
为什么呢
Why?
这就是全诗
That's the whole thing.
好等等等等
OK, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
我们的贵宾还需要回答一个问题
Our guest of honor still has to answer one more question.
天哪
Oh, God.
你为什么来这儿说实话
Why are you here? Really.
随便说
No wrong answer.
那个
Well...
在我很小的时候我父亲离开了我母亲
my father left my mom when I was a baby,
所以我变得很怪
so that made me weird.
而且你们可能已经注意到了我很胖
And, as you may have noticed, I'm fat.
我受够了当被人教训的小孩
I'm tired of being the kid who gets kicked.
我现在是教训人的那个
I'm doing the kicking now.
行了吗
Ok?
索莱达
Soledad?
你呢
What about you?
你为什么来这儿说实话
Why are you here? Really.
天哪
Oh, boy.
也好无趣
Also not funny.
没错
So, yeah.
在场的大多数
Most of us here
都是遭受过性暴♥力♥的幸存者
are survivors of sexual violence.
我也不例外是在军队的时候
It happened to me, in the military.
我父亲是一名陆军中校
My father's a lieutenant colonel,
我祖父曾是少校
my grandfather was a major,
我哥哥是海军
my brother's a marine.
但他们都没能保护我
But they couldn't protect me.
我曾试着克服
I tried to get past it.
重拾自信
Get my faith back,
在人群里在体制里
in people, the system.
我失败了但我以为只有军队是这样你懂吗
It failed me, but I thought it was just the army, you know?
之后我本不该再遭遇那种事情了
And then I wasn't supposed to get called back up again,
但我还是遇到了
but I did.
我不在家的时候
And while I was away,
我女儿露丝
my daughter Luz,
被几个
she was raped
在附近喝酒的人
by a few guys
强♥奸♥了
who drank in the neighborhood.
我回到家里想要帮她
I came back home. I tried to help her,
但她所感受到的都是我的愤怒
but all she could feel was my anger.
她才13岁
She was only 13.
但是人们还是叫她废物荡♥妇♥
But people still called her trash, slut.