情迷意乱

No!
今晚六点半 我会准备好来找你
Tonight. 6:30. I will prepare and I will come to you.
好的
D'accord.
把小♥弟♥弟♥弄硬 来我房♥间找我
Get an erection and bring it to my room.
不 亲爱的 不是那样用的 它在休眠
No, honey, it doesn't work like that. He's sleeping.
你已经半勃了
You already have a semi.
该死 不不不
Damn. Shit. No. No. No.
如果安东尼发现了...
'Cause if Anthony finds out about this...
露 你在这啊
Lu! There you are...
发现什么
Find out about what?
发现...
Finds out that...
萨姆...
Sam's got...
-怎么 -半勃了
- What? - A semi.
-好吧 -不 是发现凯特...
- Ok. - No! Find out Kate's...
-咋了 -怀孕了
- What? - Pregnant.
什么
What?
-对 真... -真怀上了
- Yeah. Really... - Really pregnant.
她让我别告诉你
She told me not to tell you.
搞什么
What...
-凯特 聊两句 -喝香槟吗
- Uh, Kate, quick word. - Bubbles?
今天是什么特殊场合
What is the occasion?
我还是等安东尼回来再说
Oh, I'd rather wait until Anthony gets back.
我得...
OK, I need to...
在三区有一家关门的养老院
There's an old people's home in Zone Three.
我已经为你申请了带看
I have requested a viewing for you.
-但我做了件坏事 -现在别说 萨姆
- But I've done a bad... - Not now, Sam.
萨姆 能找你聊两句吗
Um. Sam, can we talk for a second?
-伙计们 -嗨 撒玛利亚会怎么样
- Hi, team. - Hey, how was Samaritans?
其实今天挺有意思的
Really interesting day, actually.
很多人来电吗
Get many callers?
一个被霸凌的小女孩
Uh, a little girl who's getting bullied,
一个极其活跃的饭堂阿姨
a hyperactive dinner lady,
还有一个失意的同性恋
and frustrated homosexual.
他可悲催了
Tragic, actually.
非常单纯 但迫切想成为
Really simple guy, just desperate to be
比自己更复杂的人
much more complicated than he actually is.
他超想睡他最好的朋友
He's got a big hard on for his best friend
还妒忌朋友的新男友 诸如此类
and is jealous of the new boyfriend, yada, yada, yada.
总之 我觉得我有说到他心里去
Anyway, I think we really got somewhere with him.
我去洗个澡
I am going to go hit the el bano
然后你就要给我最终答复 好吗
and then I want your final answer, OK?
-好 别去太久 -好的
- Deal. Don't be long. - Ok.
-你打算搬去跟他同居吗 -应该会
- Are you going to move in with him? - I think so, yeah.
我和安东尼也是
Me and Anthony, too.
-好棒 -好棒
- Yay! - Yay!
好棒
Yay!
老天 你在这呢 听着 凯特...
Jesus, there you are! Listen. Kate isn't...
-她回来了吗 -对 但她没...
- Is she back? - Yes, but she's not...
我就知道发生了奇葩事 我有预感
I knew something freaky was going on. I knew it.
我的直觉比我想的还要准
I am more intuitive than I give myself credit for.
不 真的一点都不准
No, no, you're really not.
我没事 我会把这事处理得很好的
I'm fine. I'm going to deal with this really well.
非常非常好
Really, really well.
不 你不能 她根本没... 老天
No, you're not! She's not even... Oh, dear!
*我沿着约旦河航行*
*I was sailing down The River Jordan*
你好啊
G'day?
你好
G'day?
你为什么觉得我是基佬
Why do you think I'm gay?
你觉得自己很聪明对吧
You think you're so clever.
我可以帮你
I'm here to help you.
我想帮你
I want to help.
回答我的问题 否则我就冲进来了
Answer my question or I'm coming in.
我觉得你是同性恋 是因为你执迷于你生命中的男性
I think you're gay because you obsess about the men in your life.
就因为我关心我朋友们 我就成死基佬了吗
What, just because I care about my friends, it makes me a bender?
你得升级你的辅♥导♥说辞了 给我个更好的原因
You need to update your counsel, brother. Give me a better reason.
因为你执迷于我 你时刻想着我
Because you're obsessed with me. You think about me.
你向我展露你的胴体
You flash your body at me.
你说我坏话 这还不够
You bitch about me and then to top it off,
你还打到我工作的地方 捏着嗓子说话
you put on a stupid voice and you call my work
浪费了饭堂阿姨的时间
and waste the time of a poor little dinner lady
而她真的需要帮助
who really needed help.
或许我也需要帮助
Maybe I need help.
-你需要的是男朋友 -你这么想吗
- You need a boyfriend. - Do you think?
对 我真心这么认为
Yeah, I do. I really do.
我觉得你需要跟一个男人上♥床♥
I think you need to have sex with a man.
操你
Fuck you.
我懂的
I get it.
我乐观向上 又是澳洲人 个性有趣
I'm upbeat and Australian and a lot of fun.
但我很爱你的好友弗雷德 我为他神魂颠倒
But I'm in love with your boy Fred. I'm fucking crazy about him.
你要么滚远一点 要么跟我共同拥有他
And either you need to back off, or you need to share him
因为我绝不会让开
because I'm not going anywhere
你我最终只会打起来
and you and I will just end up fighting
直到太阳公公摘下他的小帽子
till the sun takes his little hat off.
你我好好相处
It'll be so much better for both of us
对我俩都会比较好
if you and I just get on.
我就跟你说他这人信不过 我告诉过你的
I told you he wasn't to be trusted! I told you...
打包好你的小行李 一个字都别听他乱说
Pack your little bag and don't listen to a word he says!
别打断我 你根本没半根屌♥毛立场
Don't interrupt me! You have not got a dick to stand on!
-你们啊 喂 -拜托别让他开口
- Guys, guys! - Please don't let him speak.
谁来告诉我发生什么事了
Will someone tell me what happened?
我们刚才在浴室 你不准打岔
We were in the shower room... Do not interrupt me!
我问这个混球他今天过得怎样 因为我人好
I was asking this douche about his day. Nice guy.
他就打开我的浴室门 秀着胸毛靠过来
Then he just opened my shower door, leaned in all monkey chest
然后用嘴亲了我
and then he kissed me with his mouth!
弗雷德 萨姆今天上班时打整人电♥话♥给我...
Fred. Sam pranked me today at work. He called me...
-你用嘴亲他了吗 -没有
- Did you kiss him with your mouth? - No.
-说谎 -萨姆
- Liar! - Sam,
我不知道你现在想干什么
I don't know what you're trying to do here.
你们到底有没有接吻
Did you kiss at all?
威尔
Will?
他... 是他亲的我
He... He kissed me.
天啊 老天
Oh, boy. Oh, my God.
-弗雷德 我不知道为什么 -好吧 我想...
- Fred. I don't know why... - OK. I think um...
-凯特 -现在不是时候 安东尼
- Kate. - Not now, Anthony.
这里正发生很严重的事
There is some serious shit going down here
-我很庆幸不是关于我俩的 -你怀孕了
- and I'm just delighted it's not about us. - You're pregnant!
老天 什么
Oh, Jesus. What?
你为什么不告诉我
Why didn't you tell me?
因为我没怀孕啊
Because I am not pregnant.
是这样的...
Yeah, guys...
没怀孕 真的吗
Not pregnant? Really?
真的 但愿没有
No! I hope not!
谢天谢地 太好了
Oh, thank God! Thank God!
-谢天谢地 -你也不用这么高兴吧
- Thank God! - All right! Don't have a party about it.
抱歉 幸好 我只是... 萨姆 搞什么
Sorry. Thank God. I just... Sam, what the hell?
在场还有谁要
OK, anyone else got anything
宣布爆♥炸♥新闻的就赶紧说
they would like to announce to the room
我要去自残了
before I start self-harming?
既然这样 威尔 我想我们...
OK, in that case. Will, I think we...
萨姆跟露露上♥床♥了
Sam's fucking Lulu!
什么
What?
哥们 对不起 她真的死缠烂打
Mate, I am so sorry. She was really pushy.
-灰色地带 真的 -搞毛 你答应过我的
- Grey area mate, serious. - What the fuck? You promised!
-答应什么 -你不能阻止两个性感尤物...
- Promised what? - You can't stop two sexy people...
是 我知道 我知道
Yeah, no, I know. I know. I know.
老天
Fuck's sake, man!
-我就是... -什么
- I just... - What?
你就是想自己全部独占吗
What, you just wanted them all to yourself?
禁区
Red zone!
操 你干嘛那么在乎
What the fuck do you care?
-她又不是你女友 -我叫你别那么做的