情迷意乱

当然了 大家都讨厌
Of course I do. Everybody does.
大家都讨厌你的身体
Everyone hates your body?
不 可能是吧 如果他们诚实的话
No, I mean... Well, probably, if they were honest,
我就不是那种人
I just... I'm not the sort of person to just,
爽快地把上衣一脱
you know, take my top off
一点不在意
and then not care that my top was off.
我不会这么做
I would just never do that.
胸罩我就留着了
I'm leaving my bra on.
没问题
D'accord.
准备好让我画你了吗
Ready for me to paint you?
别吸气
Don't breathe.
科 凯 地 产
别打自己了 牙签屌♥
Stop hitting yourself, poodle dick!
停不下来 没力气了
Can't stop it, haven't got the energy.
你失控了 快停下 停下
You are out of control. Stop it, stop it!
天啊 快住手
Oh, my God. Stop.
你们太有趣了
You guys are just too funny.
这房♥子出♥售♥多久了
So, how long's this been on the market, then?
有28年了吧
I'd say about 28 years.
存储空间这么小
I mean, there's minimal storage space
还有几个发臭的角落
and there's a couple of smelly corners,
但因为随房♥附赠这个小混♥蛋♥ 所以完全值得
but it's worth it for the little willy that comes with it.
你在做什么
What's on the menu?
我旅途中学会的一点菜式
Just a little something I picked up on my travels.
-他做饭非常好吃 -太棒了
- He is a really good cook. - Oh, coolio.
他还会自己买♥♥些小公♥司♥
He also buys himself small companies
让他们更壮大 更具有商业价值
and makes them stronger and more commercially viable.
这么厉害
Well, that's impressive.
你说得好像我做慈善一样
You make it sound like I work for a charity.
是的 他在闲暇时非常乐善好施
Oh, yeah, he's a Samaritan when he's got the spare time.
真棒
Cool.
别说了 真的 说得我好像傻缺一样
Stop it! Really. Makes me sound like a knobber.
别告诉他报刊的事
Don't tell him about the paper.
弗雷德
Fred?
对了 他还为金融报刊写专栏
Oh, yeah, he also writes a column for a financial paper.
而且他还会烘焙
And, and he bakes!
谁不喜欢家里自♥制♥的面包呢
Well, hey, who doesn't love a home-made bun?
其实我个人不怎么喜欢吃碳水
Not big on carbs actually, myself.
-小混球 把我的包拿来 -好的
- Hey, shitty tits, get my bag. - OK.
言辞注意一点
Don't say anything inappropriate.
-把屌♥掏出来 -什么
- Get your cock out. - What?
我听见了
I heard that!
只是个测试
It was a test!
你通过了
You passed.
勉强通过
Just.
好了 你们两个无赖 开饭了
All right, you muckers, grub's up.
-准备好了吗 -好了
- OK. Ready? - Yeah.
-别离开房♥间 -一言为定
- No leaving the room. - Deal.
进去 散发魅力 拿钱 出来
In. Charm. Get the money. Out.
简单 我们绝对没问题
Easy. We're going to nail it.
-只要别喝... -金糊 我知道
- Just don't drink... - The Golden Goo. I know.
-露露 -格拉迪斯阿姨
- Lulu! - Aunt Gladys!
你真美
You are a vision.
还有安东尼 真难得
And Anthony, what a treat!
小礼物
Little pressie!
你们俩快进来 我有好多酒给你们喝
Well, come on in, you two. I have drinks to drown you in.
科凯地♥产♥
待售
你打算买♥♥下来吗
So, you going to put an offer in?
我会考虑的 是的
I'll think about it, sure.
你有时间吗
Hey, have you got a second?
-现在吗 -是的
- Like, now? - Yeah.
-有时间 -多谢了 哥们
- Yeah. - Thanks, man.
你和弗雷德说话的方式很不好
It's not cool how you talk to Fred.
叫他"婊♥子♥" "牙签屌♥"或者"小奶头"之类的
Calling him "Bitch" and "Pencil prick" and "Freaky tits."
我不是犯浑 我知道只是玩笑
I'm not a gaping arsehole. I know it's just for laughs,
但这种玩笑实际上是有害的
but that sort of language is actually pretty insidious.
我只是觉得你该稍微控制一点
I just think you should just dial it down a bit,
免得真的伤害到他
before it starts making a dent.
你是个聪明人 你知道我什么意思
You're a smart guy, you know what I mean.
该死 抱歉
Shit, I'm sorry.
当然 我从没有...
Yeah, of course. I've never...
-从没这样想过 -多谢了 哥们
- Never thought of it like that. - Thanks, man.
-我就知道你会理解的 -当然
- I knew you'd get it. - Sure.
大家都还开心吗
Everyone happy?
从没更高兴过了 大黑菊
Never happier, cummy bum.
天啊
Oh, God!
-回家吗 -好的
- Home-time? - OK.
这一瓶超级猛
This one is a real goer.
我在丝绸之路上找到的
I found it on the Silk Road.
亚洲吗
In Asia?
不 不 不
No, no, no.
是个暗网
It's a dark Internet.
可怕的地方 什么都有卖♥♥的
Awful place, all sorts of things for sale,
但偶尔会有好东西
but the occasional delight.
-来一口 -不了 多谢
- Sip it. - Oh, no, thanks.
-来一口 -我们真的不能待太久
- Sip it! - Uh, we really can't stay long.
拜托 亲爱的
Oh, please sip it, darling.
你们能来我真的太开心了
I'm just so touched you popped round.
这年头没人会无缘无故来拜访了
No-one ever just pops round for no reason these days.
当然
Sure.
实际上 我有点事要跟你说
I was actually going to ask you for something...
别说钱
Don't say money.
拜托
Please.
我受不了
I couldn't bear it.
第十杯 为了我们未来十年的生活 干杯
And ten for ten more years of life ahead. Chin-chin!
好了 那必须是最后一杯了
OK! Now, that has to be the last one,
你这个小淘气
you naughty thing, you.
亲爱的 你穿的到底是什么
Darling, what is this that you're wearing?
-简直可笑 -是连体衣
- It's ridiculous. - It's a onesie.
太美了
It's divine!
但从哪儿开呢
But where does it open?
这衣服怎么穿
And how does one get in?
想脱下来一定很费劲吧
Isn't it a nightmare to get it off?
不 不 我有诀窍
Nope. No, I've got the knack.
说实话 我几秒就能脱下来 阿姨
Honestly I can have it off in seconds, Auntie.
这些是小纽扣吗
Are these little poppers?
所以... 我最近怎么样
So yeah, what's... What's up with me?
我在餐厅上班
I'm working in a restaurant.
你终于谈恋爱了吗
So are you finally in a relationship?
是的
Well, yeah...
露露总是说你们俩最终会在一起的
Lulu always said you would end up together.
住一起
Living together.
最终会住一起
End up living together.
瞧我这张嘴
Have I said a whoopsie?
算了
Oh, never mind.
我终于遇到我的另一半了
I have actually met someone.
-我们订婚了 -真好
- We're engaged. - Oh! How lovely!
她长什么样子 身材很好吗
What does she look like? Is she a curvy girl?
不 她很瘦
No. She's slim.
是吗
Is she?
小鸟依人那种 是吗
Sticky little thing, is she?
娇小型吗 她个子很小吗
Petite? Is she a tiny little thing?
她很聪明
She's very smart.
那她是个小肥猪吗
So is she a porker, then?
真好
Oh, lovely!
亲爱的 这件衣服
Oh, darling, this outfit!
我真喜欢
I simply love it!
听我说 阿姨 我们真的...
Listen, Auntie, we really...
我最好的朋友今早死了
My best friend died this morning.
洗手间在哪儿来着
Where is the toilet again?
当然