情迷意乱

Jesus, Kate. I mean.
这顿饭也太好吃了
This is really beautiful food.
是啊 加点芳草调味可能会更好
Yeah, with herbs it would be even better, actually.
应该不需要芳草
It shouldn't really need herbs.
最糟糕的是
The worst thing about it is,
他其实一直知情
a part of him always knew it was happening,
但他太懦弱了 不想一个人
but he was just too much of a coward to be alone.
他宁愿拥有她
He'd rather have her
哪怕她在被会计师舔逼
while she's being licked out by her accountant,
也不愿意完全失去她
than not have her at all.
浪漫 可悲 美丽 非常复杂
Romantic, pathetic, beautiful. It's so many things.
是啊 我没想到她会跟你们说这么多
Yes, I wasn't expecting her to tell you all that.
你现在已经走出了最低谷
You're through the worst now.
他还曾经有过自摸的时候
He also has sometimes touched himself
想着他们两个在一起
thinking of the two of them together.
他是个性方面很复杂的男人 但心胸宽广
He is a sexually complicated man. But with a huge heart.
-对 -心胸宽广 遍体鳞伤
- Right. - A huge, broken, heart.
-好了 梅洛迪 -心都碎成渣了
- OK, Melody. - Shattered.
闭嘴吧
Bum out.
是这样 她在布莱恩身上找到了真爱
No, look. She has found love with Brian.
我不能嫉妒这一点
I cannot begrudge her that.
你的痛苦实在太美了
Your pain is so beautiful.
谢谢
Thank you.
你最近跟卡拉有联♥系♥吗
Have you been in touch with Cara?
有 她给我发过一张花♥园♥的照片
Yes. She sent me a photo of her garden.
是她前面的"花♥园♥"吗
Her front garden?
不是 不过她前面的花♥园♥确实不错
No, although she does have a lovely little front garden.
但我只注意到了她的后花♥园♥
But I only paid attention to the back garden.
那里空间更大 更适合一些特别的播种
More space for aggressive seeding and such.
那曾经是我周末的爱好之一
It was rather a weekend passion of mine.
我们能看看她的后花♥园♥吗
Can we see a picture of her back garden?
当然 如果你们感兴趣的话
Of course. If you like that sort of thing.
这是漂亮的山茶花
Here are the lovely camellias.
可以看到那株野蔷薇
And you can just make out that climbing rose
在香豌豆间绽放
blossoming through the sweet peas.
那是什么
What's that?
这是布莱恩
That's Brian
越过那丛菊花前的洒水器时拍的
jumping through the sprinkler in front of the chrysanthemums.
他真是
He's very...
毛发旺盛 是的
Hairy, yes.
恐怕我没有那种优越条件
I haven't that gift, I'm afraid.
我觉得很美好
I think it's beautiful.
你努力过 是她让你失望了
That you tried. She let you down.
你问心无愧 好样的
You held your end up. Good for you.
谢谢你 萨姆
Thank you, Sam.
你是想跟我们当中的谁上♥床♥吗
Are you trying to have sex with someone here?
不是
No.
好了
Ok.
尤克露露时间到 我们要唱真心话歌♥
It's Ukululu time. We're going to play Truth Songs.
大家满上
So, fill your cups.
是时候好好互相了解了
It's time to get to know each other properly
我只知道这两种互相了解的办法
and these are the only two ways I know how to do it.
-我明天还得上班 -大家都是啊
- I have work tomorrow. - Ah, we all do.
-好吧 -怎么了
- Well... - What?
你是前台
You're a receptionist.
所以呢
And?
这个...
Well...
为这道美味的辣味咖喱献唱一首吧
Sing one about this deliciously spicy curry!
好
Ok.
*我真喜欢这道咖喱*
*I really liked the curry*
*这可真是幸运*
*Which is really lucky*
*因为凯特说喜不喜欢都得闭眼吹*
*'Cause Kate told us to big it up whether we did or not*
是真的吗
Is that true?
-假的 -真的 下一个是谁
- No. - Yes. Who's next?
凯特唱一首
Kate do one!
好主意
Excellent idea!
-唱一首关于... -无关情♥色♥的 拜托了
- Do one about... - Nothing sexual, please.
高♥潮♥
Orgasms!
我不会唱高♥潮♥的
I'm not going to sing about orgasms!
来嘛
Come on!
*高♥潮♥真爽*
*They feel really nice*
*高♥潮♥真爽*
*They feel really nice*
*我真喜欢高♥潮♥*
*I really like orgasms*
*爽在下面*
*They happen down there*
唱得真好 亲爱的
You nailed it, babe.
我想跟科林唱一首 关于爱的
I want to do one with Colin, about love.
握住我的手
Hold my hand.
*我为什么在这里*
*Why am I here?*
*大多数早晨我都希望自己死了算了*
*Most mornings I wish I was dead*
唱得太他妈好了
Fucking amazing.
第二道咖喱
Second curry.
抱歉
Oh, sorry!
这是什么味道
What's that smell?
下一道咖喱
It's the next curry.
真香 你干嘛告诉露露我高♥潮♥的事
Oh, lovely. Why did you tell Lulu about my orgasm thing?
我没有 你干嘛让大家假装爱吃我的菜
I didn't. Why did you tell everyone to pretend to like my meal?
我没有
I didn't.
你干嘛告诉露露我从没喷过
Why did you tell Lulu I've never jizzed?
我没有 宝贝 你不能说这个词
I didn't! Baby, you can't say jizzed.
那她直觉可真♥他♥妈♥准
Well, she's fucking intuitive then,
偏偏就选我唱高♥潮♥
picking me to sing the one song about orgasms.
幸好我唱得不错
Lucky I pulled it off.
回头再说 拜托了 这道是鱼
Later. Please. This one is fish.
火候很重要
It's all in the timing.
向我保证她不知道
Promise me she doesn't know.
我保证
I promise.
-以你将来的孩子起誓 -我发誓
- Swear on our future children. - I swear.
*凯特来不了[高♥潮♥不了]*
*Kate can't come*
我唱的是...
I was singing about how...
你明天不能和萨姆 弗雷德约电影
How you can't come to the cinema
你来不了
with Sam and Fred tomorrow.
-是啊 -真的 我不知道
- Sure. - Seriously, I didn't know.
真的 没事
Seriously, it's OK.
我不知道
I didn't know.
安东尼什么都不跟我说了 真的
Anthony never tells me anything any more. Seriously.
对不起
I'm sorry.
我不想说这个
I don't want to talk about it.
好吧
Ok.
你要是想用唱的我就把尤克里里拿过来
I can get the ukulele if you'd rather sing about it.
-有时我真想弄死你 -对不起
- I could fucking murder you sometimes. - Sorry.
不过我很善于倾听
Hey, I'm a good listener, though.
-你肯定... -什么
- I'm sure you... - What?
我就是觉得别人一看到鸡♥巴♥就能喷
I just feel like everyone else can jizz at the drop of a cock.
可不是嘛
Tell me about it.
你也会烦恼吗
You struggle as well?
抱歉 我就是那些幸运儿之一
Oh, no, sorry. I'm one of the lucky ones.
我光是看着夏德塔就差不多能高♥潮♥
I get close just looking at The Shard.
外型一柱擎天的摩天大楼
露露 出来 快点
Lulu, get out, come on.
隔这么远我都能感觉到你在糟践我的恋情
I can feel you ruining my relationship from here.
没事的 宝贝
It's OK, baby.
我知道你什么都没告诉她 我们只是聊聊
I know you didn't say anything. We're just chatting.
-聊什么 -夏德塔
- About what? - The Shard.
给我出来
Get out of there!
我们在联络感情
We're bonding!
我是认真的
I'm serious!
她就像个青春期男孩 你榨不出什么来的
She's a teenage boy, she has nothing to offer!
没事的 宝贝 我们一会儿就回去
It's OK, baby. We'll be back down in a minute.
我知道你什么都没告诉她
I know you didn't tell her anything.
好吧 我不喜欢这样
Yeah, well, I don't like it.
聊这些真的会让你觉得恶心吗
Is it really gross for you to talk about all this stuff?