情迷意乱

Oh, yes.
在楼梯的最上面
It's at the very, very, very, very top of the stairs.
-你可能会耽误好一会 -好的
- You might be some time. - Yup.
抱歉 亲爱的
I'm sorry, darling.
你们俩最终总会在一起的
You two will come to each other eventually.
我能借点钱吗
Can I borrow some money?
只是...
It's just...
你回顾你的一生...
You go through your whole life...
然后你拉在了男朋友的地板上
And then you shit on your boyfriend's floor.
他喜欢吗
Did he like it?
世事难料 每个人都有奇怪的癖好
You never know. Everyone finds something weird sexy.
你觉得什么性感
What do you find sexy?
我都快想不起来我为什么有阴♥道♥了
I can hardly remember why I've got a vagina.
-你们不做♥爱♥吗 -不 我们做 只是...
- You guys don't have sex? - No, we do, just...
下面很少会有反应
The downstairs response is rare
而且很特定的情况下才会高♥潮♥
and very specifically prompted.
你觉得它想要什么
What do you think it wants?
你想要什么
What do you want?
天啊
Jesus!
我们看看 她会不会回答我们
Let's see if she gets back to us.
你喜欢做♥爱♥吗
Do you like sex?
这问题真傻
Silly question.
是吗
Is it?
你还好吗
Are you all right?
这里有洗手间能让她用一下吗
Do you have a toilet she could use, please?
她不会用太久的
She won't be long.
不 不 不
No, no, no, no.
让我出来
Let me out!
不好意思
Excuse me.
什么事
Yeah.
好的 再见
OK. Bye.
失陪一下
Excuse me.
你为什么想要成为地♥产♥守护人
Why do you want to be a property guardian?
是的
Yes.
好吧
Ok.
钱带来了吗 押金
Have you got the money? The deposit?
你们收现金吗
Do you take cash?
是钱都收 有钱就成
Any money. Just the money would be great.
把钱给他吧 露
Just give him the money, Lu.
我不相信他
I don't trust him.
棒 守护人计划谢谢你的参与
Great. Thank you for joining the guardian programme.
我看你是个完美的候选人
You seem like the perfect candidate.
你好美
You're so beautiful.
嗯
Oui.
你是怎么做到这么自信的
How are you so confident?
我妄自菲薄又没什么用
Well, it's not useful to anyone for me to be ashamed of myself.
他们想让我们厌恶自己的身体
They want us to hate our bodies.
以此来控制我们
It's how they control us.
-天哪 -赞
- Oh, my God. - Super!
我靠 你奶♥子♥也太美了
Oh, fuck off, they're amazing!
现在我简直更郁闷了
I'm even more depressed than ever now.
你真的喜欢科林吗
Do you really like Colin?
-当然了 -为什么
- Of course. - Why?
因为他已经了无生趣了
Because he's given up.
这让你着迷吗
And that's attractive to you?
对
Right.
他只想要平凡和安生
He just wants to be small and good and...
这让他伟大又美好
Because of that he is huge and beautiful.
每个人都想做大人物
Everyone wants to be big.
简直扯淡
It's bullshit.
而且他不想上我 我就爱这点
And he won't fuck me. Which I love.
你为什么喜欢安东尼
Why do you like Anthony?
还有红酒吗
Have you got any more wine?
有
Oui.
还有颜料吗
Have you got any more paint?
奶♥子♥脸 你在干什么
Yo, titty-face, what are you doing?
想给我按个摩吗
Do you want to give me a massage?
我给你买♥♥了特殊冰淇淋哦
I got your special ice cream.
我们在看《蓝色星球》
We're watching Blue Planet.
-鲸鱼真是太神奇了 -鲸鱼真是太神奇了
- The whales are extraordinary. - Whales are extraordinary.
它们是强大的生物
Oh, they're powerful creatures.
弗雷德 你在吃普通冰淇淋吗
Fred, are you eating normal ice cream?
他不能吃普通冰淇淋
He shouldn't be eating normal ice cream.
我给他买♥♥的是无糖的
I've got him the sugar-free variety.
我有不少患糖尿病的朋友 所以...
I've got quite a few friends who are diabetic so...
当然了
Sure.
所以我知道要去哪买♥♥味道好的
So I know where to get the good stuff.
你要尝点吗
Do you want to try some?
不用了 那种冰淇淋就是奶油少了点
Nah, no. That stuff's just a little less creamy.
萨姆 要一起看吗
Hey, Sam. You want to join?
什么声音
What was that?
别担心
Don't worry,
-我来看看是什么 -我来确保我们的安全
- I'll find out what that is! - I'll make sure we're safe!
这不是遇险的尖叫
That's not a danger scream.
是快活的尖叫
That's a jovial scream.
拜托别告诉她我抽烟了
Please don't tell her I'm smoking.
她不让我看她的身体
She doesn't show me her body.
因为她褶子里藏着不能见人的小鸡鸡吗
Because of the secret willy she hides in the crease?
要是这么简单就好了
If it was only that simple.
她衣服要在被子里脱 屁要去走廊里放
She gets undressed under the duvet and she farts in the hall.
你就总在床上放屁
You've always farted in bed.
我现在就在放屁
I'm farting while I'm saying this.
我就是希望她能放开点 调侃一下自己
I just wish she'd let go a bit, you know, laugh at herself a bit.
我就是希望她能更...
Just wish she was more...
真挺臭的 是吧
That really smells, doesn't it?
我从没闻过这么恶心的味道
That's the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted.
谢谢
Thank you.
对不起
I am sorry
指责你想上萨姆的事 我没向你道歉
that I didn't say sorry about accusing you of trying to fuck Sam.
我想上谁就上谁
I can fuck who I like.
不行 得经过我的同意
No, you can't. I have to have approval.
-去你♥妈♥的♥ -去你♥妈♥的♥
- Fuck you! - Fuck you!
真的 去你♥妈♥的♥
No, really, fuck you.
今晚别睡 一起大醉一场吧
Can we stay up all night and get really drunk together, please?
好
Yes!
你知道我们俩最悲剧的是什么吗
You know what the greatest tragedy about us is?
我的鼻子
My nose?
不是
No.
你更像个女孩
That you'd make a much better girl
而我更像个男孩
and I'd make a much better boy?
不是
No.
你永远不知道什么时候该闭嘴 是吧
You never know when to shut up, do you?
派对
Party!
我♥操♥ 凯特会发飙的
Shit. Kate's going to flip!
他们在干什么
What are they doing?
-宝贝 -你上身怎么光着
- Baby! - Why are you topless?
我在放飞自我 你怎么光着
I'm being free. Why are you?
不如一起光吧
Why aren't we all?
来啊
Come on!
你完了
You did not just do that.
-你 -别惹我顶你屁♥股♥
- You! - Stop making me bum you!
科林
Colin!
淘气科林
Naughty Colin!
别跑 淘气
No! Naughty!
科林 你给我马上回来
Colin! You come back now!
科林
Colin!
-小心点 -你去哪了
- Careful. - Where have you been?
-看牙医 -看了一整天吗
- The dentist! - All day?
你嘴巴有什么毛病
What is wrong with your mouth?
你又去看卡拉和布莱恩逛街了吧
Were you watching Cara and Brian shopping again?
没有 对 没事的