蝴蝶（2018）

但或许是我的大脑做出了什么反应
but maybe my brain did something.
我一发现自己怀的是个男孩后
As soon as I found out that I was having a boy,
我就很激动 我很开心能生个儿子
I was really excited about it. I loved the idea.
但我想说的是最初的...
But I'm talking about what happened in that...
最初的20周里发生的事
..what happened in that first 20 weeks.
或许我分泌出了某种荷尔蒙
Maybe I secreted some kind of fucking hormone
或是别的把他变成...
or something that's made him, made him...
变成现在这样的东西
That's made him.
你完全不必自责
You've got nothing to blame yourself for.
谢谢
Thank you.
要搭车吗
D'you want a lift?
不 不用了
No, I'm ok.
他跟我在一起时 会注意自己的行为
Look, he behaves himself with me.
-注意行为 -你明白我什么意思
- Behaves himself? - You know what I mean.
怎么 你想让他去跟你一起生活吗
So, what, you want him to come and live with you?
不 我不是那个...不是
No, I don't... No.
他注意自己的行为是因为他害怕 斯蒂芬
He behaves himself because he's scared, Stephen.
因为他爱我 好吗
Because he loves me, alright?
他希望我一直在他的生活里 而非偶尔参与
He wants me in his life all the time, not just sometimes.
刚刚她也说了要倾听他的心声
In there, she said listen to him,
我就是在倾听他的心声
so I'm listening to him.
他想让我回到这个家 我想去倾听
He wants me at home again, I wanna listen.
他很迷茫 他的大脑搞不清状况 并且...
He's confused, yeah. His head's all over the place. And
他父亲每隔一个周末出现一次 跟他一起踢球
his old man turns up every other weekend to kick a ball about
给他买♥♥些好吃的 我可以做到更好
and buy him some chips. I can do better than that.
你知道我可以做得比现在好
You know I can do better than that.
原因不在于你
It's not about you.
你说得很对 一个快乐的男孩 更快乐的男孩
Exactly. A happy boy, a happier boy,
是不会想成为一个女孩的 不是吗
wouldn't want to be a girl, now, would he?
但如果我能在他身边守护他
But if I was there for him,
做个更好的榜样 那么...
a proper, you know, role model, then...
那我呢
What about me?
你抛下了他 但你也抛下了我
You left him, but you also left me.
你知道我的伤痛至今未曾停止吗
Have any idea how much that still hurts?
我们本该一起解决这些难题的
We were supposed to cope with it together
-但你却逃离了 -我知道 我懂的
- and you just ran away. - I know, OK, I know.
但对于现在该给予他什么 我们的立场是一致的
But we both agree what we want for him now, don't we?
重要的是 我们要以最好的方式去帮助他
I mean, it's about us helping him in the best way we can.
我们要...
It's about us...
我也不想说这话 但 去他妈的
You know, and I didn't want to say this, but, fuck it,
重要的是我们要治好他
it's about us fixing him.
小孩子的想法是经常在变的
And kids, they change their mind all the time,
我们可以改变他的想法
so, we can change his mind.
你就是不明白 是吧 我不信任你
You don't get it, do you? I don't trust you.
你可能前脚搬回来 很快又弃我们而去
You could move in and then you'd just leave us again
给他造成更大的伤害
and cause him more harm.
也可能 这样能保住我们的儿子
Or we get to keep our son.
我们得让他在正轨上
We get to keep him on track.
求你了 维姬 让我回到那个家吧
Please, Vicky, let me back in.
我可以睡在露营床上 让我做什么都行
I'll sleep on the camp bed, I'll do anything.
最主要的是
I mean, the main thing is
我们又在同一屋檐下了
is that we're all under the same roof together.
如果那能让他平静 让他的大脑不再胡思乱想
And if that keeps him calm, if it settles his brain,then
那就可以阻止他出格的行为
it'll stop all this acting out
阻止他再伤害自己
and stop him from wanting to harm himself
或以后做出更可怕的事
or do something even worse next time.
他希望我们彼此相爱 斯蒂芬 我们无法...
He wants us to love each other, Stephen. We can't...
无法治好我们之间的问题
..we can't fix us.
我们又如何能治好他
How are we gonna fix him?
我从未停止过爱你 从未
I never stopped loving you. Never.
-这么说不公平 -我之前是不得不离开 真的
- That's not fair. - I had to go. I had to.
是啊 因为你的所为
Yeah, because of what you did.
-麦克斯 够了 停下 -但我很爱这样
- Max. That's enough, stop it. - But, I love it.
停一下 别说你很爱这样 好吗
Hang on a second, OK. Don't say that you love it, yeah.
但我就是很爱啊
But, I do. I just do.
-我警告你 麦克斯 -我不在乎
- I'm warning you, Max. - And I don't care.
斯蒂芬
Stephen!
爸爸
Dad!
过来 来 让我看看
Come here, come here. Let me see, let me see. Let me see.
重要的是我现在的所为
It's what I do now.
天呐 重要的是我现在的所为
For Christ's sake, it's what I do now.
我不知道这是不是太迟了
I don't know if it's too late.
快 阿德南 你要吃什么
OK. Come on, Adnan. What are you gonna have?
这个叫什么 老师
What is the name for this, Miss?
那是鱼 阿德南
That's fish, Adnan. F-I-S-H.
鱼
Fish.
请给我来份鱼
Fish... please.
-不好意思 女士 你不能就这么... -斯蒂芬
- Excuse me, miss, you can't just... - Stephen.
斯蒂芬
Stephen!
斯蒂芬
Stephen.
-那会拖慢工期 -要是坐牢就会拖慢更多
- It slows us down. - Yeah, so will prison.
-你得穿高可视度夹克 戴头盔 -这事很重要
- You need a high-vis jacket and a helmet. - It's important.
穿高可视度夹克 戴头盔
High-vis jacket and helmet.
-你有什么事 -我想保护麦克斯的安全
- What do you want? - I wanna keep Max safe.
那你是同意了吗 你愿意让我搬回去了
You're agreeing, then? You're letting me back?
如果你想回来 你可以为了他回来
If you wanna come back, you can come back for his sake,
但那并不代表我原谅你了
but it doesn't mean I'm forgiving you.
谢谢
Thanks.
-我是他妈 你是他爸 仅此而已 -好的
- I'm his mum and you're his dad, that's it. - OK.
很好
Good.
-6点吃晚餐 -什么
- Dinner's at six. - What?
6点吃晚餐
Dinner's at six.
6点吃晚餐
Dinner's at six.
爸爸来了
Dad's here!
-还好吧 -挺好的 要我帮忙吗
- All right? - Yeah. Can I help out?
很重哦
It's heavy.
-我没问题 -你确定吗
- I'm fine. - Are you sure?
要收留房♥客了吗 经济肯定很不景气
Taking in lodgers? Times must be hard.
是啊 非常不景气
Yeah, very hard.
-他为什么要自残 -显然是因为不开心
- Why would he cut himself? - Um, not happy, obviously.
我必须搞清楚原因 我得...
I just gotta get to the bottom of why, you know. I've gotta...
我必须在他身边支持他 我是说...
I've gotta be there for him, haven't I? I mean...
你到底对我隐瞒了什么 斯蒂芬
What aren't you telling me, Stephen?
关于什么 关于麦克斯吗
About what, about...? About Max?
关于你和你妻子
About you and your wife.
没什么 亲爱的
Nothing, love.
我们是他的父亲和母亲 珍玛
We're his mum and dad, Gemma.
仅此而已
That's all there is to it.
祝你好运
Good luck.
我觉得我们不应该鼓励这样 不是吗
I don't think we should be encouraging that, do you?
-穿长袖了 麦克斯 想法不错 -爸 天呐
- Long sleeves, Max? Good thinking! - Dad, Jesus.
所以你回到这里 是永久性的吗
So, this is permanent, then, is it, you being here?
我们打算走一步看一步 妈
We're just gonna see how it goes, Mum.
我的罗尼永远不会抛弃自己的家人的
My Ronnie would never have walked out on his family.
谢谢你这么说 芭芭拉
Thank you for that, Barbara.
别担心 我会把我的注意力都放在这上面的
Don't worry, I'm gonna give it all my attention now, OK.
你离开家以后 维姬就开始把孩子惯坏了
When you left home, that's when Vicky started spoiling them.
她纵容一切的怪念头
She indulged every whim.
怪念头是什么
What's a whim?
让他扮女孩
Letting him play at being a girl.
实际上 我们立了规矩的
We actually had rules about it.
以后规矩会更多
Well, there's gonna be even more rules about it now.
我们一家人又团聚了
Well, we're all here together again.
我想为此喝一杯
I'll drink to that.
麦克斯 小家伙 你那个
Now, Max, mate. So, what was it with all that
自我整形手术是怎么回事
do-it-yourself plastic surgery, then, eh?
那样就能不用去上学了 爷爷
So I could get off school, Grandad.
-那不是实话 -有一点点算实话
- That's not true. - It's a bit true.
如果我们都说你是同性恋 这完全不是问题
If we all just say you're gay and it's no problem at all,
-然后万事大吉 大家都开心了 -爷爷
- then Bob's your uncle. Everybody's happy. - Grandad!