蝴蝶（2018）

- What have you done? - Ambulance.
会没事的 会没事的
It's gonna be OK, it's gonna be OK.
-情况紧急 -来 来
- Emergency! - Come on, come on.
他是个11岁的男孩 割开了自己的手腕
He's an 11-year-old boy and he's slashed his wrists.
一切都会没事的 你会没事的
Everything's gonna be OK, you're gonna be OK.
我现在感觉好点了
I feel better now.
你为什么这么做 亲爱的
Why did you do it, darling?
让自己平静下来
To calm myself down.
我上次见他时 他还没事 绝对没事
The last time I saw him, he was fine. He was absolutely fine.
你上次见他...
Last time you saw him...
我们在校门口
We were at the school gates
他想让我们扮演幸福家庭
and he was trying to make us play happy families.
你为什么打扮得这么正式
Why are you dressed up?
我本来打算出门的
I was going out.
约会
On a date.
她要出门约会
She was going out on a date.
她很漂亮 不是吗
She looks good, doesn't she?
你不喜欢她的样子吗
Don't you like how she looks?
约会 好吧
A date, right.
-怎么了 -你是为这事生气吗
- What? - Were you upset about that?
是啊 没错 怪我了
Oh, yeah, that's right. Blame me.
我只是问问 好吗
I'm asking, OK.
我有权利提问 是这样吗
I'm allowed to ask. Was that it?
我当然很生气
Of course I was upset.
我不想让你和珍玛在一起 妈妈和别人在一起
I didn't want you with Gemma and Mum with whoever.
我想让你回来 爸爸
I want you to come back, Dad.
我甚至不知道你为什么离开
I don't even know why you left.
爸爸
Dad.
父与子 父与子
Father and son. Father and son.
爸爸
Dad.
你去哪儿
Where you going?
我只是要出去呼吸点新鲜空气 儿子
Er, I'm just gonna go out for some fresh air, son.
你会回来的 对吗
You're coming back, aren't you?
是的 我当然会回来
Yeah, of course I'm coming back.
没事的
It's OK.
一切都会没事的
Everything's gonna be OK.
我们在他5岁时带他看过儿童心理医生
We took him to a child psychologist when he was five.
为什么
Why?
丽贝卡·帕里
因为他似乎认定自己是女孩
Because he seemed to be identifying as a girl.
他只玩女孩的玩具
He'd only play with girls' toys,
想穿女孩的衣服
he'd want to wear girls' clothes.
他们说他 可能是...
They said he was, you know, probably...
同性恋
Gay.
显然 只有四分之一
Apparently, only a quarter of the kids who,
怎么说呢 像这样表现自己的孩子
how do you call it, express themselves like that...
在进入青春期后 依然会有这样的感觉
You know, feel like that when they reach puberty.
反正网上是这样说的
That's what it says online, anyway.
很多人长大一点就停止这种行为了
A lot of them just pack it in.
他们让我们约束他的女性行为
They told us to keep his feminine behaviour in check, um,
尤其是在公共场合
especially when we were in public.
我和麦克斯也是这样做的
So, I did and so did Max.
现在的心理医生不会叫你们那么做了
Well, you wouldn't be told that now.
不过 你们进行约束了吗
Anyway, do you keep it in check?
是的 他只在家里穿女孩的衣服
Yeah, he only ever wears girls' clothes at home.
什么
What?
他告诉我他不♥穿♥了
He told me he stopped that.
他当然会这么跟你说 不是吗
Well, he would tell you that, wouldn't he?
你一直没做任何约束 对吗
Well, you haven't been keeping anything in check, then, have you?
你一直在鼓励他的这种行为
You've been encouraging it.
我当然没有鼓励
Of course I haven't been encouraging it,
我只是不知道怎样阻止
I just don't know how to stop it.
听着 他和我在一起时 表现得跟正常男孩一样
Look, when he's with me, he's like any other boy.
-是吗 -是的 没错
- Is he? - Yes, yes.
是吗 他真和其他男孩一样吗
Is he? He's really just like any other boy?
-等他进入青春期 会一样的 -会吗
- Well, he will be when he reaches puberty. - Will he?
不 我是在问你 会吗 他会没事吗
No, I'm asking, will he? Will he be OK?
青春期可能是个转折点
Puberty can be a ticking clock.
但是麦克斯可能还没到那个阶段
But Max might not have reached that stage yet.
他不会变得更加苦恼吧
And he's not gonna become more distressed?
青春期后就不会这样了吧
Will he grow out of it after puberty?
性别焦虑可能会加剧 但也可能不会
The gender dysphoria might escalate, but it might not.
要是加剧了怎么办
And what if it does?
那你们可能需要阻止青春发育期 将它推迟
Then you might want to stop puberty, delay it.
好了 别扯那么远了
All right, let's not get carried away.
那太荒唐了
That's ridiculous.
我们要怎么做
How would we do that?
青春期阻滞剂
Puberty blockers.
推迟他的青春发育
To delay his development as a young man.
青年男性的体貌特征
The physical characteristics of being a young man.
等一下
Hang on a second.
他不需要任何药物 他什么都不需要
He's not gonna need any medication. He's not gonna need anything
也许只要再长大点
except maybe to grow up a little bit.
阻滞剂是我们能买♥♥到的吧
Are the blockers something that's available to us?
药会给孩子争取些时间 看什么适合他们
They buy the child some time, to see what feels right for them.
看他们是否想改变想法
To see if they want to change their mind.
但目前
But at the moment,
先关注麦克斯的健康 好吗
let's just stay on the subject of Max's wellbeing, OK?
-爸爸 -我在 麦克斯
- Dad. - Yes, Max.
我讨厌我的小鸡鸡
I hate my willy.
-别傻了 -真的
- Don't be silly. - I do.
为什么
Why?
它很碍事
Well, it gets in the way.
我希望...
I wish that...
你希望什么
You wish what?
它会脱落
That it would fall off.
它永远不会脱落的 麦克斯
It's never gonna fall off, Max.
它只会越长越大 像爸爸的一样
It'll just get bigger, you know, like Daddy's.
-长不了 -够了 麦克斯
- It can't. - That's enough, Max.
-我不想要它 -我说了 够了
- I don't want it. - I said, that's enough.
我不想要它 不想要
I don't want it! Don't want it!
你没有选择 麦克斯 你没有选择
You've got no choice, Max! You've got no bloody choice.
这是我的身体 我想改变
It's my body, I wanna change.
你为什么这么说
Why are you saying that, huh?
你为什么对我说这种话
Why are you saying that to me?
听着 我会把你们推荐给渡口信托
Look, I'm gonna refer you to the Ferrybank Trust.
性别认定和管理部门
The gender identity and management service.
谢谢
Thank you.
你们可能需要专业帮助
You may need specialist help.
谢谢 非常感谢你的帮助
Thank you, thanks so much for your help.
-斯蒂芬 -谢谢你
- Stephen. - Thank you.
我可以单独跟你谈谈吗
Is it all right if I have a minute with you on my own?
当然
Sure.
好吧
Ok.
-我在外面等你吗 -好的
- Wait for you outside? - Yeah.
我问过自己千百万次了
Look, I've asked myself this a million times,
这是我的错吗
is it my fault?
是不是我在怀孕时做错了什么
Is it something that I did wrong in my pregnancy
我没能...
and I just didn't...
为他产生足够的睾酮素什么的
..didn't produce enough testosterone for him or something?
当然不是
Of course not.
-你怀麦克斯期间 一切都是正常的吗 -是的
- Was your pregnancy with Max a normal one? - Yeah.
我当时的确吸过烟 偶尔喝点红酒
I mean, I had the cheeky cigarette or the odd glass of wine,
但绝对没有嗑药吸毒什么的 我保证
but no drugs or anything like that. I promise.
跟我怀莉莉时几乎一样
It was pretty much the same as Lily's.
-但医学上没有任何异常吗 -没有
- But, medically, there was nothing? - No, not medically.
你并没有做错任何事
You've done nothing wrong.
莉莉小时候是个特别可爱的宝宝 我想...
Lily was such a lovely little baby. I guess I wanted a...
我想给她生个妹妹 不是弟弟
I wanted a sister for her, not a brother.
然后...
And, erm...
我没告诉任何人这事
I didn't tell anyone that,