布莱克书店（2000）

我有个主意
Here's a thought.
别马上说行不通 听上去恐怕有些疯狂
Don't say no immediately cos it could sound crazy.
要不然我们把...房♥子烧了吧?
Could we... burn down the house?
不行, 太荒谬了 想啊 伯纳, 快想啊!
No, that's absurd. Think, Bernard, think!
送他个礼物如何? - 对啊! 礼物!
What about a gift? - Oh! A gift.
但是一定是要十分适合的礼物 - 没错
But it'd have to be perfect. - Yes.
一盒非常好的铅笔怎么样?
A really nice box of pencils?
不行! - 我是说...
No. - I mean...
...非常非常好的一盒
a REALLY nice box.
不行. 如果你要送他一盒铅笔
No. If you're gonna give the guy pencils for drinking his wine,
算做赔偿道歉的话, 除非是一盒神笔
you're talking about, you know, magic pencils.
就是你画一只牛, 牛就活了那种笔!
You draw a cow, the cow comes to life!
对, 对不起.
Yeah. Sorry, yeah.
我们可以自己做!
We'll make some more!
我们用那些便宜的东西 没有人会知道的
We'll use the cheap stuff, nobody'll know.
但是那个值7000镑 他还会把这个献给教皇!
But this cost ?,000. He's presenting this to the Pope!
他不会知道的 - 是教皇啊,他已经习惯了最好的东西
He won't know. - He's used to the finer things.
废话! 没有人会承认酒不好
It's all waffle! Nobody will admit wine doesn't have a taste.
是你自己尝不出!
But you can't taste anything.
你一天抽8包烟!
You smoke eight bajillion cigarettes a day!
这又是什么? - 什么?
What's that? - What?
你吃什么呢? - 一种好吃的饼干
What are you eating? - A delicious biscuit.
这个更贵
It's a coaster.
是吗? 还有吗? 不管怎么说...
Is it? Are there more? Anyway...
书上描述这种酒了吗? - 是的, 我想应该有
Do they describe the wine? - Yes, I think so.
哦! 嗷! - 又怎么了?
Ow! Ohhh! - What?
抽筋 我感到非常的有压力,非常有压力
Cramp. I'm very stressed, very stressed.
去用按♥摩♥器
Use the Shiatsu machine.
(Whirring)
哦...
Oh, yeah...
啊! 哦! 嗷!
Ah! Oh! Ow!
啊! 哦! 啊!
Oh! Ow! Oh!
哎呦!
Ah! Oh!
本 哪个是真实的本, 本?
So, Ben. Who's the real Ben, Ben?
我能告诉你什么呢? 在学校时没有好好上学
What can I tell you? Didn't have a good time at school.
不舒服? - 恩.
Didn't feel comfortable? - Mmm.
我有几分的... - 退却?
So I sort of... - Retreated?
踏入一个私人的幻想的世界? - 是的
Into a private fantasy world? - Yeah.
我总是... - 和女人相处的很好?
I always... - Got on well with women?
而且... - 他们让你觉得自己很正常
And... - They helped you feel normal.
但是... - 有时候却不是这么回事
But... - Something was wrong.
一些事偶然的制止你继续幻想
Something that occasionally stops you sleeping.
你是怎么知道这一切的?
How could you possibly know all this?
只是直觉
Just a hunch.
告诉我, 本
Tell me, Ben.
你一天和你妈妈说几次话?
How many times a day do you talk to your mother?
呃? 天啊, 我也不知道
Eh? God, I don't know.
我是说, 正常的话一天四五次吧?
I mean, the normal amount - four, five times a day?
好的
Yes.
本, 我想告诉你一些事
Ben, I've got something to tell you.
可能听上去会有些震惊, 但是你...
And it might come as a bit of a shock, but you are...
算了. 提问!
No. Question.
我所说的以下这些人有什么共同点?
What do the following people have in common?
埃尔顿.约翰 兰.麦克兰 让.保罗.古迪埃(都是同性恋)
Elton John, lan McKellan, Jean-Paul Gaultier.
恩, 他们几个真是太棒了!
Well, they're all fabulous.
你在做什么?
What are you doing?
我在嚼这个木塞, 然后把它放回瓶子里
I'm chewing the cork to get it back in the bottle.
嗷! 哦! - 怎么了?
Ow! Oh! - What?
我的牙掉了! 好疼啊!
My tooth! It's come loose. It hurts!
香草的余味 我们有香草吗?
A trace of vanilla. Do we have any vanilla?
冰淇淋可以吗? - 可以!可以!
Ice cream? - Yes! Yes!
我去冰箱找找
(Garbled) I'll check the freezer.
(Thunder cracks)
(Gibbering)
如果大家知道我想要干什么 一定不会觉得好笑的
They'd all laugh at me if they knew what I was trying to do.
用自然的资源和方法制♥造♥一种 新型的超级葡萄酒
To create a new superwine with a fraction of nature's resources
还有一个傻瓜做助手
and a FOOL for an assistant.
"伯纳.布莱克, 他疯了!" 他们一定会说 "他是个危险人物"
"Bernard Black, he's mad!" They'd say. "He's dangerous."
我会证明给他们看的!
I'll show them! I'll show them all!
我回来了!
(Garbled) I have returned!
肉豆蔻! 我们需要肉豆蔻! - 肉豆蔻!
Nutmeg! We need nutmeg! - Nutmeg!
这是我的使命! 世界上最伟大的传世至宝!
It's my destiny! My legacy to the world!
还有别的吗? 我腿不方便, 好累啊
Anything else? With the limp, I'm getting tired.
我只要肉豆蔻! - 肉豆蔻!
Just get the nutmeg! - Nutmeg!
哦, 在这儿呢 - 啊
Oh, it's just here. - Ah.
"最后还有橡树" 橡树! 橡树!
"An oaky finish." Oak! Oak!
去前院找!
To the front garden!
(Thunder cracks)
(Church bells toll)
这是什么?
What is this?
这不是橡树! 你为什么拿这么多?
This isn't oak! Why did you get so much?
(场景如同特兰斯瓦尼亚的吸血鬼...~~)
(Bernard screaming)
(Bernard screaming, Manny moaning)
曼尼, 回去! 回去!
Manny, get back in! Get back in!
找到了! 是的!
Here it is! Yes!
现在,还差灰尘, 灰尘
Now, dust, dust.
他永远不会知道 永远不会知道!
He'll never know. He'll never know!
现在什么都清楚了 我一生都在为之奋斗
It's all so clear. I've been fighting this all my life.
我为什么要奋斗呢? 谢谢你, 弗兰
Why am I fighting it? Thank you, Fran.
你拯救了我!
You've saved my life, you have saved my life!
我真的... 为你感到高兴
(Muffled) I'm really... very, very happy for you.
我感到快乐 真的, 我真的开心
Happy. I'm happy. Really. I'm so happy.
# Jam-jam-jam, jam-jam-jam #
(Humming)
郁闷~
Bleugh.
对不起, 哦, 你好
Sorry. Oh, hello.
这是条非常非常漂亮的裙子 报纸看吗?
That is a very, very nice dress. Paper?
又有约会? - 是的.
Another date? - Yep.
这次我会有所收获
This time I might be onto something.
他是个特别有趣的年轻人
He's a very interesting young man.
事实上你也认识他 - 是吗?! 谁啊!
You know him, actually. - Really? Who?
再见, 伯纳.
(Fran) Bye, Bernard.
脏东西 - 哦, 你在调情吗?
Dirty. - Oh, you flirt.
脏!
Dirty!
(Door shuts)
天啊! - 怎么了?
Oh, my God. - What?
天啊! - 什么? 怎么了?
Oh, my God! - What? What?
(教皇饮用此人的劣质酒丧生)
今天19号♥, 我生日!
It's the 19th. It's my birthday!