布莱克书店（2000）

弗兰！弗兰！ 弗兰！
Fran! Fran! Fran!
（五分钟后回来）
伯纳! 伯纳!
Bernard, Bernard!
你在这，先听听这个
There you are. Wait till you hear this.
不，先听我的，我憋不住了，先听我的
No, me first. I can't hold onto this one. My story goes first.
不，我先说，我才不妥协 - 我也不要
No! I'm not backing down. - Neither am I.
你是要来"那个"？ - 来吧
You know what that means. - Count.
一、二、三
One, two, three.
说 “花生” - 花生
(Screaming)
Say "peanuts". - Peanuts.
我希望曼尼也听听，曼尼? - 哦，他对谁都不关心
I want Manny in on this. - No, he's no good.
他整晚都在摆弄他的生日礼物
He stayed up all night with his birthday present.
一整套The Sweeney剧集 (70年代英国警♥匪♥片)和一个咖啡机
A complete set of The Sweeney and an espresso machine.
(Phone)
喂？什么？省省吧
Hello? What? Do me a favour.
这是书店! 当然有简·奥斯丁的书
It's a flamin' bookshop. Course we got Jane Austen.
(Bell)
明白了，我的事...
Right. OK, my story.
设想… - 对，设想
Imagine, yeah? - Yeah.
设想你是个女人 - 好的
Imagine you're a woman. - OK.
然后… - 等一下，我还没进入状态…
And now imagine... - Wait! I'm still...
好了? 现在设想你有一个男朋友
OK. And now imagine you have a boyfriend.
(Giggling)
好了? 现在想象你看见了你的男朋友…
OK? And now imagine you see that boyfriend...
和另一个女人在一起
with another woman.
(Whimpers)
好了好了，轮到我了 - 我说的是彼得
OK! My story! - It's Peter I'm talking about.
彼得不会这么对我…你的
Peter wouldn't do that to me... you.
他实在是恶劣，今早我正在开车门…
He's scum. This morning, I was getting into my car...
我觉得真是… - 奥~~
I just feel so... - Awww.
好，现在说我的事
Now, my story.
你认识吉拉德和莎拉? - 吉拉德，你的朋友…
You know Gerald and Sarah? - Gerald, er, your friend...
朋友？我刚到伦敦来的时候…
Friend? When I first came to London,
是他支助我，是借给我钱...
he put me up, he lent me money,
是他帮我找工作，是他帮我找到这个地方
he helped me find a job, this place.
我和他是非常非常要好的朋友
I was an incredibly good friend to him.
虽然，虽然我很喜欢他的女朋友
And even though, even though I fancied his girlfriend,
但是我从来没有和她调情过
I did not make a pass at her.
呃，只有一次...两次...好几次
Well, once. Twice. A few times.
但是当我发现 这会惹怒他之后就再也没有了...
But not after I realised just how angry it made him.
...只有一次，但那是… - 继续说那件事
Once, but only... - Get on with the story.
他们邀请我去晚餐，我就去了
Well, they invited me to a dinner party and I went,
我们玩得很尽兴 早上起来我还有一点晕乎乎的
had a good time, woke up with a bit of a hangover.
嗯，晕得非常厉害
Well, a big hangover.
所以我去了药店买♥♥了些“感觉好”
So I went to the chemist to get some fizzigood.
一些什么？
Some what? - Fizzigood - make feel nice.
“感觉好”，你知道的 “‘感觉好’, 感觉好多了”
哦，阿司匹林复方制剂 - 耶
Oh, Alka-Seltzer. - Yeah.
“完全溶解”...
"Soluble."
牟~感觉好多了
Mm. Mm. Make feel nice.
‘感觉好’，感觉好极了
(Mumbling) Fizzigood feel nice.
吉拉德！莎拉！ 谢谢你们请我去你们家
Gerald! Sarah! Thanks for the dinner party!
完全无视我的存在
'Completely blanked me.'
也许他们没有看到你
Well, maybe they didn't see you.
有什么别的吸引了他们的注意吧？
Could something have distracted them?
比如说...?
Like what?
枪声 有人开枪吗？
Gunfire. Was somebody shooting?
让我想想，有人开枪吗？有人开…
Let's see. Was someone firing a gun? Was someone firing...?
不，没有
No, I don't think so.
你看上去需要休息一下
Manny, you look like you could use some sleep.
啊，啊，等一下就去
Yeah, yeah, in a little bit.
问题是，我后面的那家伙
The thing is, this bloke behind me,
我后面，后面的…不要看!
behind me, behind me... don't look!
我想他有一支枪 - 他快有100岁了...
I reckon he's got a shooter. - He's a hundred years old.
你喝太多咖啡并且看太多警♥匪♥片了
You're wired on coffee and cops.
所以怎么样…他们对你视而不见了
And so what? So they blanked you.
怎么样？怎么样？他们不理我了
So what? So what? They blanked me.
在文明社会里，这是相当严重的
That's a powerful thing in civilised society.
就好像，就像…
It's like, it's like...
...黑♥手♥党♥给对头寄去了一条鱼
when the Mafia send each other fish through the post.
你肯定作了什么糟糕的事了
You must've done something awful.
非常非常糟糕的事，你怎么想？
Something really awful. Do you think?
你不会是… 跳肚皮舞模仿萨瓦拉(美国演员)了?
Oh. You didn't do that thing? Your Belly Savalas thing?
不，我没有
No, I didn't do Belly Savalas.
那么，伯纳，不跟你打招呼真的 让你感觉那么糟？
So, Bernard, being blanked really made you feel that bad?
是的，糟糕透顶
Yeah. Terrible!
呒~
Hmm.
曼尼, 去睡一觉
Manny, get some sleep.
非常糟糕，天啊，我做了什么呀？
Something really awful. God, what did I do?
我做了什么？想想，快想想
What did I do? Think! Think!
趴下！
Get down!
谢谢
Thank you. Enjoy.
这本书其实不错 很烂但好在很短
It's dreadful but it's quite short.
曼尼！到这里来
Manny! Come over here.
你想要玩推理游戏吗？听听这个
You want a case? I'll give you a case.
推理看看我昨晚做了些什么？
Figure out what I did last night.
好的，晚餐
OK, the dinner party.
哦！
Ooh!
什么？
What?
坐到自己身上了
Sat on myself.
好吧，我们开始吧 首先来重现现场
All right. Let's start by reconstructing the evening.
昨晚还有谁在场？
Who else was there?
嗯，吉拉德、莎拉，很明显在那
Well, Gerald and Sarah, obviously.
他们的D-40是？ - 嗯…什么？
What's their D-40? - Well... What?
他们是做什么的？ - 哦，吉拉德是美食评论家
What do they do? - Oh. Gerald's a food writer.
他写的那本，嗯，《丰盛的日常食品》 非常畅销
He had a big hit with Basic Meals for the Ultra-Rich.
是室内设计师，她参与了那个节目...
Sarah's an interior designer. She's on that programme,
你知道的那个，"宠物惊奇" - "宠物惊奇"？
Pet Surprise. - Pet Surprise?
那是什么？ - 哦，你知道的
What's that? - Oh, you know.
他们出去溜狗，就好像平时一样
They take the dog out, he thinks it's a normal walk,
但当他们回来的时候…
but when they come back...
他们的狗屋前就有了个小院子 安上了法式玻璃门
the kennel has a patio and French doors.
哦，耶，耶
Yep. Yeah, yeah.
当他们取下蒙眼布时…
Then they take the blindfold off...
就好像这样，“哦，我的天啊”
And he's like, "Oh, my God."
是的 - 还有些其他的人
Right. - And there were a few others,
他们谈沙拉谈了5个小时
people who talk about salad for five hours.
我又赢了
(Bernard, drunkenly) And then I won again.
他比我小，只有8岁，但是赢了就是赢了
He was smaller than me, only eight, but I still won.
我赢了又赢，一次又一次
I won again and again and again and again.
那么你到底喝了多少…
So. How much had you had to drink...
在你去之前
before you turned up?
你以为我一直在喝？一直…一直… - 多少？
You assume I'd been drinking. - How much?
多少? 多少？ - 我喝了…
How much? How much? - That I'd... have a...
多少？ - 几瓶
How much? - A couple of bottles.
很好，因此你就有点不在状态了
Right. So you were in a bit of a state.
不，我很好
No, I was fine.
哦，来吧，好好想想
Oh, come on! Think!
(Doorbell)
嗨 - 你认识他？
(Police radio)
Hiya. - Is this yours?
是的 - 误会
Er, yes. - Misunderstanding.
这不是她的错，她还嫩 勇气十足，谢谢!
Not her fault. She's young. High spirits. Thanks!
把他留在屋子里
Try and keep it indoors.
你明白做了什么了？你带警♥察♥去了他们家
See what you did? You made the police come to their house!
哇，还有更厉害的
Wow. There's more.
哦，天，伯纳，看看你
Oh, God, Bernard, look at you!
我是个乐天派小子
I'm a happy-go-lucky scamp.
精致的礼物，一如平常 你来早了， 伯纳
Exquisite gifts, as always. You're very early, Bernard.
哦，你还记得吉宝吗?
Oh. You remember Jimbo, don't you?
我不确定，你是做什么的？
I'm not sure. What do you do?
不，他是我们的儿子 - 哦
No, he's our son. - Oh, thank God.
哦，谢天谢地，我还以为你有那种病呢 哦，有个孩子
I thought you had a disease. Oh, this is a child.
吉拉德? 来帮我一下好吗?
(Sarah) Gerald? Can you help me, please?
啊， 小吉 小吉, 小吉, 小吉, 小吉, 小吉