布莱克书店（2000）

After the class, we'd go for a pizza.
有一次 我们谈到了男朋友
One time, we talked about boyfriends.
这姑娘 她说她曾经和
This girl, she says that she once got engaged
一个恐怖的爱尔兰人订婚了
to this awful Irish guy...
那人名叫
called...
伯纳德
Bernard.
她能想到的唯一一个把他甩了的方法
The only way she could think of getting out of it
就是让她的朋友们说她死了
was to get her friends to say she was dead.
-但是她没死 -必须没有啊 曼尼
- But she wasn't... dead? - No, Manny.
要不她怎么能在几年后
Which is why she was having
还吃意大利香肠加双份奶酪披萨呢
a pepperoni with extra cheese... years later.
你为什么不告诉伯纳德
Why haven't you told Bernard?
那我可做不了
Oh, I couldn't deal with all that.
你能想象吗
Can you imagine?
各种咆哮各种哀怨 不 太乱了
All the fuzz over the shouting and the blaming. No, be very messy.
听着 你不许告诉他
No, now, listen. Oi, you don't tell him.
-一句话都不许说 -不会的
- Don't you ever tell him. - No.
-曼尼 我认真的 -我不会说的
- No, Manny, I mean it. - I won't. I won't do it.
-十几二十年以后也不能说 -绝不说
- Not even in like ten or even 20 years. - No, no way.
-千万别 -我们来玩大富翁怎么样
- No, no. - What about a nice game of Monopoly?
太好了 好主意
Oh, yeah, that is a good idea.
好的 开始了
Yeah. Yeah. OK, all right. Here we go.
弗兰 你来做礼帽
So, OK, Fran, you be the hat.
我是苏格兰犬 伯纳德 你
I'll be the dog and, Bernard, you...
她还活着 伯纳德 她还活着
She's alive! Bernard, she's alive!
弗兰跟我说的 弗兰认识她 问她啊
Fran told me. Fran knows her! Ask her. Ask Fran.
爱玛就住在伦敦
Emma lives in London.
现在还是 我很抱歉 伯纳德
Still. I'm sorry, Bernard.
-所以 你是说她... -是啊
- So, you're saying she must have... - Yeah.
我不信
I don't believe you.
看 我手♥机♥里有她号♥码
Well, look. She's in my phone.
这是她全名 对吧
That's her full name, isn't it?
我不信 我不信
I... I still don't believe you.
这是她去年生日时 我俩的合影
That's the photo of her and me at her last birthday.
因为她还活着 所以还有好多个生日可以过
One of the many she'll have, still being alive.
她的牙科检验报告
Her dental records.
不会是她的
It can't be her!
好 这是她的出生证明
All right. OK. Here's her birth certificate.
我一直小心保存在这个信封里
I keep it safely tucked inside the envelope
这里面还有她昨天看报纸的照片
with the photo of her reading yesterday's newspaper,
还穿着"我爱生活"的T恤
wearing an "I love life" T-shirt.
那什么...这个 还是老规矩
So. So... house rules as usual.
扔在中间要受罚 如果连续三次投数都一样
Fines in the middle. If we throw three doubles...
你知道这事多久了
How long have you known this?
几年了 有关系吗
Couple of years. Does it matter?
对了 拿到铁圈球最好了 是吧
Oh! We all want Pall Mall, don't we?
除了曼尼还有谁知道
Who else knows apart from Manny?
没人 几乎没人
Nobody. Hardly anybody.
有几个人
A few people.
书报亭的辛格先生知道
Mr. Singh at the newsagent's.
还有你父母 我也告他们了
Oh, and your parents, I told them.
如果派对上有人提到你的名字
And I tell people at parties
我也会告诉他们
if your name comes up.
是吗 我也知道你一些事呢
Well, maybe I know a few things about you.
我也掌握了一些真♥相♥
Maybe I've got a few little facts.
我扔了一个七 秒杀你们
I've thrown a seven! See if you can beat that.
曼尼好像不知道你原来叫什么 是吧
Manny doesn't know what name you were born with. Do you, Manny?
容我为你介绍伊妮德
Have you ever met Enid?
别 别逼我们互相残杀
N... Don't let's go down this road.
你参加自助小组时
The letter you wrote to your mother
给你妈写的那封信
as part of the self-help programme?
你没找到 因为我发现后寄出去了
You couldn't find it. That's 'cause I found it and posted it.
曼尼 你确实考上了公开大学
Manny, you did get into the Open University.
但是伯纳德把通知书撕了
But Bernard tore up the letter.
我碰巧看了你的征友广♥告♥
I read your personal ad, I saw that.
文笔不错啊
That was pretty good, wasn't it?
好像是"睿智 幽默 30左右的女性
What was it? "Intelligent, funny, 30-something female
诚征成熟男士作为性♥伴♥侣♥ 交友也可以
Seeks solvent man for sex and possible friendship.
幽默感什么的无所谓"
Sense of humour irrelevant."
-我也读了下你写的小故事 -这不一样
- I've been reading your short stories. - That's different.
是不一样 那才叫文笔不错
Yes, ah, but it's good.
来听听看嘛
Listen, how about listen to this?
"男人敬畏 女人仰慕
"Feared by men and admired by women,
布伦丹·布莱克从窗边转过身
"Brendan Blake turned from the window
轻拍了下拉尼
and patted Larry,
也就是那个丑翻天 喝奶长大的瘸子"
His barely hominoid, milk-fed gimp."
哦对了 你去派对的时候 是这个样子
By the way, you went to the party looking like that.
这才叫秒杀一切
Well I think that covers everything.
-打扰了 - 罗威娜
- Hello? - Rowena!
你好啊
Hi. Hi.
-你好呀 -你好
- Hi. - Hi.
不知道你还记不记得我
I don't know if you remember me,
我们在派对上聊过天
but we were talking at the party.
-记得记得你好 -你好
- Yes, hi, hi. - Hi.
-你落了点东西 -真的吗
- And you left something behind. - Did I?
你用这个杯子喝过酒
You were drinking out of this.
我觉得你可能想留作纪念
And... I thought maybe you wanted to keep the cup.
所以我问了安你住哪 然后...
So I asked Ann where you lived and...
但你好像在忙
But you're busy.
-不好意思 我犯糊涂了 -没有没有
- I'm sorry. I'm stupid. - No, no, no.
谢谢你给我带来这个
Thanks for bringing it.
真的非常非常开心
I'm really, really pleased
你能来...给我...送这个
that you came round... with... it.
我了个耶稣基♥督♥啊
Oh, for Christ's sake!
谢谢 谢谢你了 我会小心放置
Well... thanks. Thanks. I'll just put that there.
保证安然无恙
Safe and sound.
那么...
So... Erm...
-我的事情办完了 -对的 对
- That's about it, really. - Right. Right.
那...那谢谢你把它...它送来
Well, th... thanks for... er, bringing it round.
招待一下她啊 你个白♥痴♥
Offer her something, you fool.
哦对 既然你来了
Oh. Oh. S-Seeing as you're here,
要不要喝点茶啊咖啡什么的
would you like some tea or coffee?
还是喝牛肉汁 或者草本咖啡
Or Bovril? Or a herbal coffee?
-喝茶就好 -茶 马上就来
- Tea's nice. - Tea! Coming up.
我去帮你泡吧
I'll help you make it.
矮油 曼尼好日子来了
Aah. Good for Manny.
对不起啦 伯纳德
I'm sorry, Bernard,
我应该早点告诉你爱玛的事
I should've told you about Emma
但答应过她要保守秘密
but she asked me not to.
没事 反正她也配不上我
I was too good for her, anyway.
她胳膊粗得跟搬运工一样
She had arms like a stevedore.
留下来喝一杯吧
Stay and have a drink, will you?
不不不 我要回家
Oh, no, no. I've gotta go home.
我可不要再睡这儿了
I'm not sleeping in this kip again.
我就躺一会儿 放松一下眼睛
I'll just lie down, just to rest my eyes.
我明天还有约会
I've got a date tomorrow.
我一定要美美的
I've gotta look nice.
请问爱玛在吗 哦你就是啊 你好
Could I talk with Emma... Oh, it's you. Hi.
对 说得对 就是我
Yes. That's right. That's right, it's me.
我很好 不对 其实我已经死了
I'm very well, th... Actually, no, I'm dead.
请问您好吗 没错
How are you? That's right,
我是真的死翘翘了 好玩儿吗
I'm actually physically dead. Not funny now, is it?
我在干什...
What am I--
我的鬼魂在缠着你 听不出来吗
I'm haunting you, that's what I'm doing.
你怎么不滚...
Well, why don't you f...
不许挂电♥话♥ 你怎么能挂亡灵的电♥话♥
Don't hang up. You can't hang up on the undead!
别叫了
Shut up!
伯纳德 你有什么事吗
Bernard, did you want something?
我不想再听到你们尖叫 鬼叫 嚎叫了
Yes, I want not to hear any squawking or squeaking or squealing
再听到的话 我就把你们都扔街上去
and if I do I'll throw you both into the street.
好