布莱克书店（2000）

没 我把它裁成厕所窗帘了
No. I made it into toilet curtains.
正好我们在玩真心话 弗兰
As we're playing Truth, Fran,
我觉得你有点嫉妒
I think you're a bit jealous.
所以你才要惹毛我们
That's why you got us already pissed
所以你才逼我们玩这傻缺游戏
and that's why you made us play your stupid game,
就是为了把我们拉低到你的水平
to bring us down to your level.
我在嫉妒谁
Who am I jealous of?
首先 我有份好工作
For start, I've got a career.
我既有工作又有家庭
And I've got a job and a family.
我就要结婚了
I'm getting married.
你还是那个米利森特大妈
And you are still the same old Auntie Millicent.
米利森特大妈是谁
Who... Who's Auntie Millicent?
我们以前就这么叫你的
It was what we used to call you,
因为我们知道你会变成疯狂的老姑娘
because we knew you'd turn into a crazy spinster.
事实确实如此
And you have really,
成天和书店里那两个怪人厮混
hanging out with your two freaks from the book shop.
是的是的 对了
It was, wasn't it?! Oh, yes,
住在怪屋里的米利森特大妈
Auntie Millicent who lived in the crooked house.
一屋子猫 -对的 紫色的猫
With loads of cats. - That's right - purple cats.
然后你跟猫咪们打炮
And you had sex with them all.
至少我没有在同学聚会后
At least I didn't have a threesome with Mark
和马克玩3P
after the school reunion.
我说出来了吗
Oh, did I just say that?
贝基 我们本来准备要告诉你的
Becky, we were going to tell you...
我们当然准备要告诉你
Obviously we were going to tell you,
不过不是以这种方式
just not like this.
你知道吗 弗兰
Do you know what, Fran?
你就不能把嘴闭上吗
You could have just kept your mouth shut.
没错 弗兰 起码得说...
Exactly, Fran - least said...
坦尼娅 闭嘴
Shut up, Tanya!
我想等时机合适再告诉你 贝基
I was... waiting for the right time to tell you, Becky.
比如说结婚纪念日 是吧
Like her anniversary or something?
还有人要来一杯吗
Anyone for a nightcap?
我要再读一遍
I'm going to read it again.
从前有只大象
There's the elephant,
他最喜欢玩气球
he's happy with his balloon.
哦不 气球突然飞走了
Oh, no! It's gone!
飞哪里去了呢
Where is it?
不在犀牛那里
It's not behind the rhino.
去鳄鱼的嘴巴里找找呢
Look in the alligator's mouth.
也不在那里
It's not there either.
啊 原来是猴子拿到树上去了
Ohh... the monkey's got it in the tree!
大象把气球拿了回去
He brings it back...
他们一起喝柠檬水庆祝去了
They all drink lemonade.
完结
The end!
这杯敬我们的
Here's to us.
伯纳德 那些没看这本书就长大的孩子
Bernard, I feel sorry for the children
该有多可怜啊
who grew up before they could read this book.
曼尼 我们要变成大富翁了
Manny, we are going to be... very very rich.
有多富 伯纳德
How rich, Bernard?
富到钱财滚滚 天崩地裂
Oh, uncontrollably, incontinently rich.
让弗兰丢尽脸 -太棒了
And... and Fran will be humiliated. - Yeah!
看吧 我们根本不需要这些肮脏的营业额
See, we don't need this dirty, filthy everyday money.
成功是需要付出代价的
Success will bring problems.
我可不想跟谢加在戒毒所同床共枕
I don't wanna wake up in rehab with Shergar.
[爱尔兰著名赛马]
能有什么问题 我们可是坐着宝骑
What problems? We're on the pig's back,
一路驰骋过黄金的田野啊
charging through a velvet field.
下一本书的压力可就大了
There will be pressure for a follow-up.
人们会说 你就是那个写大象气球的人
People will say, "You are the elephant balloon guys!
都过了这么久 怎么也没见着下一本呢
it's been for a while, Where's the next one?"
谁在意啊 谁在意那些恶心的公众言论
Who cares? Who cares what our disgusting public think?
还有 买♥♥那么多房♥子 多烦啊
Then there will be all the houses.
当你待在马斯蒂克岛的家里的时候
You'll be in your Mustique house.
想着 我的名牌内♥裤♥哪儿去了
You'll think, "Where's my designer underpants?
对了 在我港香的别♥墅♥里
"Oh, in my Kong Hong house."
不要这样 -还有各种媒体跟踪
Oh, no! - And there's the press intrusion.
媒体 他们会盯上咱们吗
The press, will they be onto us?
伯纳德 那群狗仔队就跟...狗仔似的
Bernard, they'll hound us like a pack of... hounds!
但是我什么也没做呀
But I'm not doing anything.
我就小心翼翼地跟我那
I'm just strolling up the beach
大肚子的巴西性感女友在沙滩漫步
with my discreetly pregnant Brazilian girlfriend.
突然间 一船的狗仔队冒了出来
And then the boat appears with... laden with pappa-ritzy,
我破口大骂 你这不要脸的 -不要脸
and I'll say, "You filth!" - Filth!
有什么冲着我来 跟她无关
"Take a photo of me if you must, but leave her out of it!
她什么都不知道
"She didn't ask for any of this.
她只是个普通的内衣模特罢了
She's just an ordinary lingerie model."
我受不了了 我真心只想呆在我的破豪♥宅♥里
I can't deal with it. I just wanna live in my normal mansion
看着我的破直升机 没事开开破游艇
with my normal helicopter and normal yacht.
这样的要求也过分吗 -绝对不
Is that too much to ask? - No!
曼尼 这事必须到此为止 -什么意思
Manny, we must undo this thing. - What do you mean?
这书不能留着 -没错 伯纳德
It has to go. - Yeah, you're right, Bernard.
丢了它我们才能过上正常人的生活
It's our only chance of living a normal life.
准备好了吗 -好了
Ready? - Yeah.
好的
OK.
这样做是对的
This is the right thing to do.
马斯蒂克岛也许风景很不错...
Yeah, Mustique's probably quite nice but...
快去拿呀
Get it!
好像有个大动物 河马鲸鱼之类的
It was a big animal, like a hippo or a whale.
骆驼 肯定是骆驼 -是吗
Camel. I think it was a camel. - Was it?
缺失了一点东西 -好像丢了小轮子
It had lost something. - Yeah, a... wheelbarrow, er...
或者是衣柜 或者机动滑翔飞翼...
chest of drawers, er, microlight, er...
不知道 想不起来了 什么都想不起来了
Oh, I don't know. It's not coming back. It's never coming back!
你啥都没写吧
You haven't written anything.
写了 我们真的写了一本儿童书
No. Actually, we wrote a very good children's book.
是的 这书太好了 我们不得不烧了它
Yes, and then we had to burn it because it was too good.
我了解 人之常情嘛 50块 快掏钱
Of course I understand. It happens all the time. 50 pounds , please.
话说回来 你今儿过得怎么样
What sort of time did you have? Anyway, really.
简直像天堂
It... was... bliss!
快活得不得了
It was... it was so amazing.
好得不能再好了 我这辈子最爽的一天
It couldn't have been better. Best time in the world.
算了吧 给你 糟透了
Oh, there you go, it was awful.
不管怎么说 反正那婚礼是取消了
But, well, the wedding's off...
这样我也不用买♥♥礼物了 这周末空闲得很
So I don't have to buy a present. I'm up on the weekend.
先生 这本书多少钱
Mister, how much is this?
这是原版书 非常贵的
That's a first edition, that's expensive.
我存了很久的零花钱 有九块钱呢
I've saved all my pocket money and I've got nine pounds.
真是乖孩子 -好多钱哦
Oh, well done, you. - That is a lot of money.
不错 但这书要50块
Yeah, but that's still 50 pounds though.
这真是我最爱的书 真希望我有50块
Oh, it's my favourite book ever. I wish I had 50 pounds.
这真的是你最爱的书吗
Is it really your favourite book ever?
这世界上我最爱的就是它了
I love it more than anything in the world.
这么说的话...
Well, you...
我从没跟别人说过这样的话 但是...
I've never said this to anybody before but...
再不工作你就等着喝西北风吧
you're gonna have to get a job.