笑料一火车（1998）

这会促使每个人都乘坐公共交通了
That would force everybody to take public transport.
这样污染和塞车的情况都会减轻 我们每个人上班只会花从前一半的时间了
There"d be Iess pollution and congestion, and everybody would get to work in half the time.
-想法不错 -这是可行的 这真的说得通
- Yeah, brilliant. Yeah. - It makes sense. It really does make sense.
-如果你想想看 这是很明显的一件事 -嗯 这想法真有趣
- If you think about it, it"s an obvious thing... - Hm, what an interesting opinion.
未来某些时候我要把它充作我自己的
I'm gonna pass that off as my own at some point in the future.
-不 这太可笑了 -我来跟你说说要做什么吧
- No, that"s ridiculous. - I"II tell you what you"ve got to do.
你必须督促人们不再开车转而选择我们的公共交通
You"ve got to force people out of their cars, onto public transport,
通过提高一倍的油价
by doubling the price of petrol.
当交通不再那么堵塞时 污染就会减轻 而且人们花在路上的时间也会减少
Then the roads are Iess busy, there"s Iess pollution and journeys don"t take so Iong.
那像我这样的人呢 让年轻人们乘坐公共交通简直不切实际
What about people Iike me?. It"s impractical to take young twins onto public transport.
-但是那只是你的假设 -Laurence和我就生活在这里!
- But you"re just thinking... - Laurence and I Iive in the country!
简单来说我们除了开车没有其他出行的方法
We simply don"t have any other way of getting around without a car!
-嗯 将会有一个系统... -提高一倍油价!
- Well, there"d be a system... - Doubling the price of petrol!
5磅一加仑已经很贵了 你啥时候想到的
5p on a gallon"s bad enough. When did you think that up?.
-额 污染很严重 -污染! 我们生活的地方没有被污染 Paul
- Well, pollution is bad... - Pollution! Where we Iive isn"t polluted, Paul.
自从取消了当地大巴 我们没有别的出行方法了
Since the Iocal bus service went, we simpy don"t have any other way of getting around!
你怎么出门 你特么飞啊?!
How do you get around?. Do you fly?.!
你个白♥痴♥
You clown!
你个蠢货
You stupid bastard!
我恨你 我讨厌你 你胡说八道
I hate you! I hate you! You bollocks!
你才胡说八道嘞
You bollocks!
我恨你 我恨你
I hate you! I hate you!
看来把别人意见冒充自己的永远不会成功啊
Passing off opinions as your own never works.
面对现实吧 在现实世界根本不适用
Face it, you can't cut it in the real world.
现在快加入部队吧
Join the army, now!
我们都清楚周三要做的么 因为我觉得那将会是一个棘手的事情
Are we all clear about Wednesday?. Because I think that might be quite an arduous task.
-顺便问下 BP怎么样了 -BP等级正常
- How"s the BP, by the way?. - Yeah, BP Ievel"s normal.
-太好了 -补充一句 数值110
- Great. - Pulse is 110.
-看看患者是谁 -我之前联♥系♥到一些人了
- Who have we got?. - I"ve been onto a couple of people.
-咸猪手Stewart会来 -Willy小崽也要来
- Stewart Feelmeup"s in for it. - Willy Poopenhoop"s keen.
太好了 因为他一来 Graham Vagbanger也肯定会加入
Great, because if he comes, then Graham Vagbanger will definitely be on.
Greg·调节小丁丁·Regulationpenis也到了
Greg Regulationpenis has called off.
-他想和Jesus·该死的咯咯裤·Gurgletrouser一起工作 -没错
- He wants to work with Jesus Gurgletrouser. - Yes.
太好了 你收到Holly Phlegmgloch的信息了吗
Good, super. Did you get that message from Holly Phlegmgloch?.
是的 她通知了我关于GIenda·吃我一板砖·Eatmybrick
Yes. She passed on the message about GIenda Eatmybrick.
很显然他们都会出席的 这挺好的
Apparently they"II both be here, which is good,
因为他们都对麻醉剂之类的东西特别着迷
because they"re particularly fantastic at the anaesthetic stuff.
Roy·屎球·Pootwist马上就来了
Roy Pootwist is coming.
对 他说他只有在Dave·古董贩子·Hoitybeaver在才会来
Yes, he said he would only come if Dave Hoitybeaver...
如果古董贩子来了 Fudg·猴子·Monkey也会跟着来 那就太好了
If Hoitybeaver"s in, then Fudge Monkey"s gonna follow, and that"II be great.
不幸的是Gordon·啊哈哈哈哈哈哈哈·Ha-aha-aha-aha-aha一点都不想跟这事扯上联♥系♥
Unfortunately Gordon Ha-aha-aha-aha-aha doesn"t want anything to do with it.
说实话我还挺庆幸的 最后一次和他一起工作的时候我发现他的活儿做得不漂亮
I"m glad, to be honest. The Iast time I worked with him I found his work disappointing.
-Stephen·大色狼·Randygland -对 他也会来
- Stephen Randygland. - Yes, he"s in.
还有姨妈红双胞胎
And also the Menstrualpiss twins.
我觉得我们可以把他形容成常任官员了
I think we can describe him as a long-serving official.
这场竞争已经进行了六个小时了
This contest has been going on for six hours.
场面十分焦灼
Such a tight contest, this.
这是怎样一场比赛啊 John 这简直无与伦比
What a match, John. It's extraordinary stuff, this.
哦 现在出现了一个干扰者 老天 这对Popstopolous来说真是个考验
Oh, and we have an intruder! Goodness me, this is a real test here for Popstopolous.
是只黄蜂 并没有离开他 在他的鼻子上 他至今还没有动
It's a wasp, and not a flicker from him. It's on his nose, and he's still not moving.
我简直不敢相信 他眼皮都不眨一下
I don 't believe it. He hasn 't batted an eyelid.
就在他凝视的地方而且并没有飞动
It's right in front of his staring gaze there and not a flicker.
-简直是不可思议 -而且也太不公平了 但是他还是逃过一劫
- Extraordinary stuff. - And so unfair, but he survives...
同时依然在盯着他
.. and still stares at his man.
你被检举面对敌军时溺职
You have been found guilty of dereliction of duty in the face of the enemy.
你有什么想要给自己辩护的吗
Do you have anything to say?.
举枪
Present your pieces.
准备点火
Prepare to give fire.
-啊我想说... -点火!
- Oh... - Fire!
额 我在想弄得简单一些 我觉得John如果在也希望一切从简
Um, I think something simple. I think John would have wanted something simple.
那是当然的
Yes, of course.
我们不想别人那样强迫你选择一个不适合的棺材
We"re not one of those firms that would try to force you into taking an inappropriate casket.
很多人更倾向朴素一些的
Many people prefer Iess ornate ones.
无意冒犯 Dean女士 您丈夫时年多少岁
May I ask, Mrs Dean, how old was your husband?.
他去世时是43岁
He was 43.
哦 老天 他这么年轻就去世了 我很抱歉
Oh, dear, that"s terribly young. I"m very sorry.
额 你刚刚说你设想在葬礼上演奏音乐
Um, now, you said you were thinking of having some music played at the funeral.
-你现在有什么想法吗 -额...
- Did you have any particular piece in mind?. - Um...
对不起 在有这个乒乓球比赛的情况下集中注意力很难啊
Sorry, it"s very difficult to concentrate with this table-tennis match going on.
-伙计 拜托你能小点声么 -哦 抱歉
- Lads, could you keep it down a bit, please?. - Yes, sorry.
好的 那么 第二步我们就考虑音乐的选择 那将会挺不错的
AII right. Right, so the music might be second - that would be nice.
额 松木棺材 我们已经讨论过了
Um, plain pine casket - we"ve discussed that.
现在我们来看看 你想用什么花
Now, what flowers did you have in mind?.
额..花吗
Um... flowers?.
你是指 花环还是..?
How do you mean, wreaths or...?.
额..
Um...
对不起 他们还在干扰你么...?
Sorry, is that still...?.
快点啊伙计 你们能尽快分出胜负么
Lads, come on, finish up now please, quick as you can.
-车上有几个亲戚 -一共有六个
- How many relatives in the Iimousine?. - Six altogether.
-好的 六个 他们都是近亲吗 -是的
- Six, right. And are they close relatives?. - Yes.
-嗷 -对不起
- Argh! - Sorry.
-我很抱歉 Dean女士 你还好吗 -对不起
- I"m so sorry, Mrs Dean. Are you all right?. - Sorry.
就是这样 我不想再看到你们在这里比乒乓球了 就是最后一次 听到了没有
That is it! No more table tennis in here any more. That"s it, final! Right?.
-太抱歉了 -对不起
- I"m so sorry. - Sorry.
我实在是太抱歉了
I can"t apologise enough.
他伤到你了吗 你还能撑下去吗
Has he hurt you?. Are you all right to carry on?.
对不起啊 让你受伤了
AII right. Sorry about that.
好的 那么继续讨论葬礼人员
Right. The funeral cortege.
现在我看看 仪式在十点四十五开始对么
Now, the ceremony is at 10.45, isn"t it?.
没错
Yes!
我们当时正在跟当地牧师聊天 Gordon Wilkins 他简易是个圣人
We were talking to the Iocal vicar, Gordon Wilkins - he"s up at AII Saints.
他说他之前曾下来跟你聊过
He said he"d been down to talk to you,
他很担忧因为他好像在这儿挺不自在的
and he was concerned because he seemed to have quite a hard time around here.
你安全么 你XXOO得安全么 貌似你每天都能见到各种小丁丁
Are you safe?. Are you using safe sex?. Because you see a Iot of johns every day...
-你什么意思 -嗯 我不是这个意思
- What do you think?.! - Well, I don"t mean to...
老兄你想要什么 你到底想要啥
What d"you want, mate?. What d"you want?.
我们知道个住在工作中心的女士 她人很好
We know a Iady down at the JobCentre. She"s very nice.
-GIynis. -我们有一份工作 你特么只是在阻挠我们工作
- GIynis. - We have a job! You"re stopping us doing it!
你到底想不想尝点甜头啊
Do you want something or not?.
如果你不想要尝 就特么的给老娘滚开
And if you don"t want something, then f... off!
-我...我... -你简直让我火大
- I... I... - You"re really pissing me off!
嘿 嘿 别推Oates
Hey, hey, don"t push Oates over!
噢
Ooh!
没人会感兴趣的 那是九零后热衷的不是么 他们是七零后
No one"s interested. It"s the "90s, innit?. They were in the "70s.
-你觉得他们会做得好么 -不
- Think they"II do some good?. - No.
-为什么 -只是他们自己的一些问题
- Why"s that?. - There"s just something about "em.
# Doo-wop, doo-wop Doo-wop, do-da-doo-wah
# Doo-wop, doo-wop Doo-wop, do-da-doo-wah
- # Doo-wop, doo-wop... - # Doo-wop, a-doo-wop...
- # Doo-wop, doo-wop... - # Doo-wop, a-doo-wop...
-你知道的 我们可以继续做下去 -我跟你说 我们会一直做下去的
- You know, we could go on. - We could do that forever, Iet me tell ya.