摩登保姆（1985）

我不知道你是谁
Look, I don't know who you are,
你是什么人 或者你来自何处
what you are, or where you came from,
但我不能再忍♥受下去
but I'm not taking any more of this.
露茜 打电♥话♥报♥警♥ 把电♥话♥给我
Dial the police, Lucy, and give me the phone.
我去打···
I'm going to get the...
把电♥话♥给我
Give me the phone.
好的 给你
Well, here it is.
天啊
Jesus, God.
我的老天
Oh, Christ.
上帝
Oh, Lord God.
哦
Oh.
哇
Whoa.
打吧
Go ahead...
都听你的
make your day?
很抱歉要搞成这样子
I'm sorry it has to come to this.
什么样子?
Come to what?
开心点 不然我打爆你的头
Cheer up, or I'll blow your face off.
别紧张
Don't be such an old lady.
一切都好
Everything's cool.
一切都好!
Everything's cool!
我老爸一定会阉♥割♥我
My dad's going to castrate me.
我老妈几乎心跳停止
My mother almost had a cardiac arrest.
我一定会被软禁直到45岁
I'll be grounded till I'm 45.
除了这些 一切都好
Other than that, everything's great.
不能再好了
Couldn't be better.
你相信我好吗?
Trust me for once, will you?
他们并不知道发生过什么事情
They don't know what happened.
你觉得···
Did you think
加里今晚的行为有点古怪吗?
Gary was acting a little strangely this evening?
加里?
Gary?
谁是加里?
Who's Gary?
莉莎 你要保证这里的事情不会失控
Lisa, promise me things won't get out of control.
不必担心
Don't worry.
只是叫你的朋友们过来玩玩
You're just having a few friends over.
我并没有什么朋友
I don't have any friends.
没错
He doesn't.
他没说谎
Boy ain't lying.
你现在就有朋友了
You do now.
嗨
Hi.
嗨!
Hi! Hi! Hi!
派对!
Party!
派对! 派对! 派对!
Party! Party! Party!
站在窗边
Standin' here by the window
望着夜空
Starin' out at the night
远离烦恼
Gotta save me from troubles...
我的宝贝
Oh, baby
一切都好
It's gonna work out fine
你听到脚步声
You heard the sound of footsteps
欢快地走过来
Swinging across the floor...
呵!
Ho!
你们好吗?
How you doing?
酒吧在哪里?
Where's the bar?
酒吧!
Bar!
你认为他们今晚会让 我们难堪吗?
Do you think they'll embarrass us tonight?
是的
Yeah.
鱼子酱?
Caviar?
如果麦斯和伊恩见到她···
If Max and Ian see her,
我们就没戏了
it's over for us.
你的肚子怎样了?
How's your stomach?
好点了
Better.
你若要喷射毒气 先告诉我
If you're gonna float an air biscuit, let me know.
喷射什么?
Float a what?
你若放屁 我就出去
If you fart, I'll hit the fan.
不好意思 我在肚子痛的时候···
Sorry. I suffer pain and discomfort
要承受痛苦与不适
due to occasional stomach upset.
我们总是在说 如果能参加派对···
We always talk about how great it would be
那将是多么的精彩
if we went to parties.
现在我们身处派对 其他人在狂欢
Now it's our party, hundreds of people are having fun,
而我们却躲在洗手间
and we're in the John.
你就如我一般焦虑
You're as uptight as I am.
现在没人像你这么焦虑
Nobody can be as uptight as you.
看你的样子就知道了
Your middle name is tense...
惊惶失措
Wyatt "Tense Up" Donnely.
这里并不算糟
It's not that bad.
我们还能听听音乐
We can hear the music.
也许把鼻子挨到门缝上
Maybe if we put our noses to the door,
还能闻到食物的香味
we can smell the food.
兄弟!
Hey, brother!
你好吗 伙计?
What's happening, my main man?
来吧!
Right on!
威士忌
Scotch.
纯威士忌?
Straight up?
把整个瓶子给我
Give me the whole bottle.
你弯腰
Bend over.
我就把瓶子插♥进♥你屁♥股♥
I'll shove it straight up your ass.
加冰也可以
On the rocks is fine.
哈哈哈哈!
Ha ha ha ha!
对了 我知道你会这么说的
Yeah, that's what I thought you'd say.
她在那里
There she is.
你对付那个酒保
You deal with the drinks.
我去对付她
I'll kill the girls.
不知道莉莎是否玩得开心
I wonder if Lisa's having fun.
莉莎在保险研讨会上 都会很开心
Lisa could have fun at an insurance seminar, Wyatt.
最令我恼怒的是···
The thing that really galls me
她是我们创造的
is that she's ours
而我们却不能接近她
and we can't get close to her.
到外面去吧
Hit the fan.
这是我所参加过最精彩的派对
This is the best party I've ever been to.
太棒了!
It's great!
这是谁的屋子?
Whose house is this?
可能是那个带英国口音的女孩
It's probably that girl with the English accent.
她的皮肤一个痘子也没有
She doesn't have a zit on her whole body.
她一寸多余的脂肪也没有
She has zero fat.
而且她还悠然自得
And she's so relaxed.
打嗝也那么有魅力
She burped and it was charming.
是啊
Uh, yeah.
洗手间
The bathroom.
女士们
Ladies.
嗨 -嗨
Hi. Hi.
嗨
Hi.
难以置信!
I can't believe you.!
你在这里散播毒气
You're dropping wolfbait
外面有女孩要进来!
and chicks are outside.!
点火吧!
Light a match! Light a fire!
嗨 -嗨
Hi. Hi.
嗨
Hi.
我们还以为在里面的只有女孩
We thought there were just girls in there.
只是我们
It's just us dudes.
你们为何在这里?
Why are you here?
加里心情不好···
Gary was just taking a shit.
我是说···
I meant...
你们在这派对里干什么?
What are you doing at the party?
这里是我家
Oh, it's my house.
派对是你举办的?
This is your party?
我们每周举办一次
We like to do this once a week,
只是一些小型的朋友聚会
throw little get-togethers.
你们曾经来过吗?
Haven't you guys been by?
我们怎么会错过你们二位?
How did we miss these two?
人太多了 派对也多
So many people, so many parties.
是啊
So many parties.