虹桥旅馆（2018）

all right, wow. okay.
-哇 -哇什么！
- wow. - what?
-什么？ 什么什么？ -没事 没事
- what? what? what? - nothing. nothing.
不 你想说什么？
no, what were you going to say?
我本以为和同性恋男人结婚能得到更多艺术优势
it's just, you'd think you'd get some artistic benefits marrying a gay man.
呵 你要吵这个是吗
well, we're gonna go there.
你竟敢质疑我的的同性恋属性？
how dare you question a gay bone in my body?
呵
huh.
你把我们的婚礼地址
you booked our wedding
选在了这个鸟不拉屎的汽车旅馆
in some rundown motor lodge
像个被人遗忘的蓝领变♥态♥秀
in a forgotten blue collar freak show.
你现在就取消订单
and you are going to unbook it...
现在
now.
-行吧 -多谢
- fine. - thank you.
迪恩
dean.
送给你 疯狂的小丑发冠只差12张票了
here, the crazy clown comb is only 12 more tickets.
怎么了
what's going on?
我带了个螺丝刀
here, i brought you a screwdriver.
来 拿去
here. here you go.
什么？一起断了？啥？
really? what? what? they snap together? what?
3个字 手提 钻
two words. jack, hammer.
手提钻 你要个手提钻
jackhammer. you want a jackhammer.
好像……行 我这就走
sounds like... all right, i'm getting out of here.
行 行
all right, all right.
你快一点
well, hurry it up.
茶党在这里开会 达伦
a tea party convention, darren,
茶党运动：美国右翼保守势力
而你竟然不知道
and you didn't know anything about this.
真不敢相信我放心你来订我们的婚礼酒店
i can't believe i trusted you-- i trusted you with booking our wedding.
我怎么可能知道？
how was i supposed to know?
或许如果你准我偶尔看一下福克斯台新闻
maybe if you would let me watch fox news once in a blue moon,
福克斯台：偏右翼新闻电台
我就能得知这些政♥治♥动态了
i'd be up on these sort of things.
你干什么？ 我又不是要整晚都看Hannity
what are you doing? i don't mean watching hannity all night long,
Hannity：政♥治♥讨论节目
但Cavuno还不错啊
but cavuto's not that bad.
Cavuno：另一政♥治♥类节目 由同名时政评论员主持
好吧你赢了 你知道的 我讨厌福克斯新闻
okay, fine. you know, i hate fox news.
但我喜欢安德森·库珀...
but i like anderson cooper...
你是怎么订到这里来的？
how did you get snookered into this?
不知道
i don't know.
可能我看到低价套餐这么划算
maybe i saw the crazy low package price,
太激动了
and i got all excited.
你筹备我们的婚礼
you were shopping for our wedding
草率得像在网上买♥♥USB线
like you were trying to buy a charger cord on ebay.
不 我当时在看视频
no, i was watching something,
一旁的广♥告♥突然吸引了我
and suddenly something caught my eye,
我就不假思索地点了
and i just started clicking on it.
你知道的 迪恩 总有破事会发生
you know, dean, shit happens.
不 不准发生
no, shit doesn't happen, darren.
至少不能在婚礼上发生 不行
not on your wedding. it just doesn't.
迪恩
dean.
请问
excuse me.
你卖♥♥大桶吗？(have sb. over a barrel把人放在桶上 指"任人摆布")
you wouldn't happen to sell any barrels, would you?
很大 能装下我的那种？ (这里达伦觉得自己受迪恩摆布)
you know, for a man, oh, i don't know, about my size?
不卖♥♥？ 你该考虑一下
no? you should really consider it.
床又是怎么回事？
what's with the cot?
他知道吗？你们有没有告诉他
does he know? did you tell him that--
同志情侣来这里会睡在一起？
that there's gay men sleeping together here?
他知道吗？你们告诉他了吗？
does he know? did you tell him?
有没有告诉他……
did you tell him about...
没有 没有
no, no.
那他是怎么知道要把床拼回去的呢
then why does he think he's putting the bed back together?
不能告诉他
she can't tell him.
什么？金 金 他迟早也要知道的 是吧
what? khin, khin, he's gonna find out eventually, right?
代理机构的人明天就要来了 代理机构知道吧
the woman from the agency's coming tomorrow. the agency?
她要批准我们的延长申请了
she's gonna approve our extension.
我们现在可丢不得客人
we can't lose guests.
什么？
what?
不行 不能告诉他
problem. we can't tell him.
我的天 啊
oh, god. i--
哎
hmm.
不错
great.
尼亚加拉国家公园
停车场
我...的...天...啊
oh... my... god.
真棒
it's amazing.
好壮观啊
it's magnificent.
或许你是对的
maybe you're right.
这里还是可以结婚的 走讽刺风格 对吧
we can make it work, huh? in an ironic way, right?
对啊对啊
yeah, yeah, yeah.
就这样吧
just go with it
找辆车把我们带到这里来
and find a shuttle to take us here.
是呀 可以的
yeah, we could do this.
我们不是同性恋吗 你说得对
we're gay. you're right.
讽刺文化就是我们发明的嘛
didn't we invent cultural irony?
对
exactly.
如果安迪·沃霍尔能把普普通通的汤罐头
i mean, if andy warhol can make an ordinary old soup can
-做成一种艺术 -是啊
- into an international sensation... - yes.
如果安迪·科恩能用一群戏精的家庭主妇
if andy cohen can take despicable, spoiled housewives
安迪·科恩：脱口秀主持人
做出娱乐节目 我们也……
and turn it into delicious entertainment...
哇 安迪这个名字太有基佬气质了
wow, i never realized how gay the name andy was.
我懂了
i get it.
我们不就是基佬结个婚嘛
we're just a couple queers getting married.
-没什么大不了 -挺好的
- it's all good. - it's great.
显然
apparently...
你还不够基啊
not gay enough.
你在干嘛？
what are you doing?
没干嘛
nothing.
哇不是吧 你
oh, my god, you're--
你觉得尴尬
you're embarrassed.
我可什么都没干
i didn't do anything.
你东张西望 看有没有人投来异样的目光
you're looking around to see if it's okay.
我认识你这个表情
you don't think i know that look?
我最熟悉的就是这个表情了
it's the only look i know.
有一千种表现方式
there's about a thousand versions of it.
啊 木桶 木桶
oh, barrel, barrel.
有人有桶吗？
does anybody have a barrel?
不行的话罐头也可以
oh, maybe i can go down to the can jam.
你就开玩笑吧 但我懂你那个表情
joke all you want, but i know what i saw.
我只是比较小心
i was just being mindful.
小心什么？
mindful of what?
看大家接不接受我们吗？
if the world will accept us?
茶党在这里开会呢
there's a convention going on.
或许你不是不够基 是不够男人
well, maybe you're not man enough...
不敢认同自己是安迪
to be an andy.
前文说安迪这名字很基
那我做个混♥蛋♥安迪怎么样？
how about an andy dick?
大家好呀 现在怎么办
hello. what are we gonna do?
哈罗德·A
美国右翼
或许现在不是个当安迪的好时机
oh, it's probably not best to be an andy right now.
还是当巴克或兰博吧
more like a buck or a rambo.
算了吧 这两个名字比安迪还基
please, those names are gayer than andy.
-哈 哈 -嗨
- ha, ha! - hi.
嗯 女士们先生们
uh, ladies and gentlemen,
你们眼前的景象
what lies before you
并不是你们深爱的美国
is not an example of the decline
日益衰败的表现
of your beloved america.
在我看来
but i respectively offer
你们眼前的景象
that what lies before you is the ultimate
正是美国进步和自♥由♥的体现
example of american progress and liberty.
有什么比两位同性恋人
can there be anything more demonstrative
公开表达爱意
of american freedom than two men
而不用担心会被杀 被打伤