虹桥旅馆（2018）

欢迎大家乘坐凤♥凰♥城出发的238航♥班♥
welcome to flight 238 from phoenix.
请到三号♥行李提取口领♥取♥行李
please pick up your luggage from baggage claim three.
快呀 一定会很棒的
come on. this is gonna be perfect.
你去取包 我先去看看路
you get the bags. i'll scope the place out.
啊 不好意思
oh, i'm sorry.
这是我的
that's mine.
才不是
no.
拜托 朋友
come on, man.
拜托 兄弟
come on, dude.
这是什么？我不知道
i don't know what that is.
你还在磨叽什么
what are you waiting for?
快来快来
come on, come on!
我都一天没发动态了！
i haven't posted anything all day!
行吧
okay.
你怎么耽误这么久
what were you doing over there?
我在整个
just humiliating myself
凤♥凰♥城面前丢了脸
in front of an entire cross section of phoenix.
这 就是我们的第一条婚礼动态啦
this... is our first wedding post.
干嘛？看看四周 我们到了！尼亚加拉大瀑布
what? will you look at this? we're here. niagara falls.
我们要在这里结婚 你敢相信吗
we're getting married here. can you believe it?
嗯 来吧 该走了
yeah. come on. we gotta get going
不然就要错过免费车了
or we're gonna miss the free shuttle.
“费用包含地面交通”
ground transportation included.
-是的 -不错
- yeah. - hm. very nice.
这同志套餐简直太棒了
that queerpon package you booked is amazing.
-谢谢 再来一张 -好的
- thank you. okay, one more. - all right.
请上呗
let's party.
嘿 嗨起来 耶
hey, let us party!
走吧
come on.
再来
come on.
虹桥旅馆
同性恋婚礼地点第一名
重新开业
欢迎性少数人群
免费电缆车
立起来呀宝贝 立起来
head to the hills, baby. head to the hills.
...纽约州“孵育”我的权力
...power invested in me by the great state of new york,
我在此宣布......是“孵育”吗？
i hereby pronounce you-- is it "invested"?
天啊 我真该先看看油管上的视频
my god, i should have videos on youtube.
...孵育权力...还是赋予？
power invested-- power vested.
都现在了我还不清楚？
really? i don't know yet?
打起精神 打起精神.....
up, up, up, up, up. up, up, up, up, up.
爷爷啊 我会让你为我骄傲的
grandpa, i'm gonna make you proud.
车里是有c.k.one香水的味道吗？
do i smell c.k. one?
是的 我觉得是的
yep. yep, i think so.
喜欢吗？
you like it?
呃 喜欢 很...很不错
um, yes, it's-- it's very nice.
干嘛这么说
why are you saying that?
我觉得还挺酷的
it's kind of cool, you know?
像是回到了1995年
like, in a 1995 sort of way.
-哇你看看外面 -怎么了
- would you look at that? - what?
是大瀑布的水雾 还是我的眼睛
are those the magical mists of the falls or has my vision become
自带法国印象派绘画滤镜？
a permanent french impressionist painting?
谢谢你选择这里作为我们的婚礼地点
thank you for choosing niagara falls for our wedding.
知道吗 我曾经做过新教牧师 基♥督♥教牧师
you know, i've been a minister and a pastor
犹太教牧师
and a rabbi--
哦还卖♥♥过珠宝
oh, and a kay's jewelry salesman.
却很少见到像这两位女...
and rarely have i see two wom--
这两个人 啊 两个女...两个人
people-- uh, two wom-- people--
两个人如此相爱的 你叫玛雅？
wom-people more in love than you... maya?
卢塞尔
russell.
卢塞尔 卢塞尔和玛雅
russell. russell and maya.
你们今天表达的爱
i'm just so caught up in the love that you have here
太让我感动了
and expressed today, i--
这 这 呃
it's a l-- it's a l--
快去把音乐和米准备好
get the music and the rice ready.
向新人洒米为婚礼习俗
白米还是糙米？
uh, white rice or brown rice?
白米啊 糙米是晚饭要吃的
white rice. the brown rice is for the dinner they requested.
好的 行行行 拿着 拿着 拿着
okay, all right, all right. here, here, here, here.
怎么回事？怎么我们离瀑布越来越远了？
what's happening? um, why are we driving away from the falls?
不好意思 司机
excuse me, driver.
司机 我们是不是走错路了？
sir, are we going the wrong way?
等会跟你们说 马上就到了
tell you more there. we are close.
但我们就在尼亚加拉瀑布边上住啊
we are staying in niagara falls?
对 尼亚加拉瀑布！马上就到
yeah, niagara falls. almost there.
别担心
no worry.
达伦 怎么回事？
darren, what's going on?
我也不知道 不知道
i don't know. i don't know.
也就还在不久之前
you know, it wasn't that long ago
这种结合都还是不可能的
when none of this could've been possible,
尤其是在我爷爷那个时代 在他建起这家旅馆的时候
especially in my grandfather's era when he built this place.
但如今我们做到了
but here we are.
所以 以纽约州政♥府♥
so, with the power invested in me
“孵育”我的权利
from the great state of new york,
我在此宣布你们结为……
i hereby pronounce you...
啊妈呀
oh, boy. uh...
丈夫和妻...
man and, uh, w--
我们真的应该提前讨论一下
you know, we probably should've talked about this beforehand.
这种新的形势有新的问题
we got a new form we're working out,
该先列个清单什么的讨论一下
a little checklist thing,
但总得有人带头吧 而你们……
but somebody had to go first, and you guys...
干脆就称为 呃 丈夫和妻……
so why don't we just say, like, husband and wife if--
我宣布你们结为一对！
the married couple!
-我来拿包吧 -不用了
- can you give me your bag please? - no, no.
好 行
oh, okay.
什么鬼？？
what the hell?
达伦 搞错了吧
darren! nah, this must be a mistake.
达伦 告诉我是不是弄错了
darren, tell me this is a mistake.
这又是什么味道？
what is that smell?
两个男的 两个男的
two men. two men.
是的 的确和我们想的不一样
hey, look, it's obviously not what we thought.
但这里挺独特的……
but, you know, in its own way, it's--
我的天 那是个化工厂吗？
oh, my god, is that a chemical plant?
烟囱排出来的都是什么啊 达伦
what is spewing out of those smokestacks? darren!
-我…… -达伦
- i... - darren!
欢迎来到虹桥旅馆
welcome to the rainbow bridge motel.
我叫希波威兹 我带你们去房♥间吧
i'm shibbawitz. can i take you to your room?
来吧 往这边走
come on. this way please.
是希波威兹
it's shibbawitz.
两个男的！
two men!
两个男的！
two men!
那么下一对就是你俩啦
so you guys are next. oh!
多有爱的一对呀 看
aren't they a beautiful couple? look at that.
我问问你 这是络腮胡吗？
let me ask you, are those muttonchops?
哇 从凤♥凰♥城大老远地来 难得啊
well, all the way from phoenix. incredible.
你们的房♥间叫洛克赫德森
i got you in the rock hudson room.
洛克赫德森：美国男演员名
床是心形的呢
it's got it's own heart-shaped valentine bed.
别忘了来我们杂货铺看看
yeah, and don't forget to visit our sundries shop.
有面霜 护发素
we've got face creams and conditioners
还有很多很多凡士林哦
and tubs and tubs of vaseline.
好 希望你们好好享受
okay, so i want you to enjoy your stay,
蒂姆会服务好你们的
tim's gonna take care of you,
玩得开心
and have a great time.
什么情况？搞错了吧
what is this? this has to be a mistake.
今天是我……我们这辈子最重要的一天
this is supposed to be the biggest day of my--
我们还邀请了人
our life. we have people coming.
这里是个什么鬼地方
this can't be happening.
我觉得我的呼吸里都有苯了
i think i'm breathing in benzene.
你怎么知道就是苯 或许只是普通蒸汽
you don't know it's benzene. it's probably just steam.
我可是排毒健康顾问 达伦 我的身体我很清楚
i'm a detox fitness counselor, darren. i know my body,
我不需要等到出了问题
and i know that i don't have to take a full on bong hit
才知道烟囱排放物是有害的