便携门（2023）

还有伯爵夫人 不过……
and the Countess, but...
如果它的负面不值得呢
...what if the downside isn't worth it?
那负面是什么
Well, what's the downside?
一直很痛苦吗
Being miserable all the time?
我不痛苦 我雄心勃勃
I'm not miserable. I'm ambitious.
你无法理解的 保罗
You wouldn't get it, Paul.
你就高兴整天盯着地图
You know, you're happy looking at maps all day
别无所求 我只是希望……
and you don't need more. I just, I wish I was...
我的天啊
Oh... my...God.
你在忙其他的
You are doing more.
什么 -你在忙什么
What? - What you doing?
没什么 我不能说的 没什么事
What? Nothing. I can't say. It's... Nothing.
威尔斯先生给了我一个特别任务 但我不能透漏
Mr Wells has me on a special task. But I can't say.
似乎对他很重要
It seems pretty important to him, though.
因为我是唯一个……
'Cause I'm the only one who...
你是唯一个什么 -我不能说
You're the only one who what? - I can't say.
好吧
OK.
你要知道 小心点
Well, just so you know, be careful.
小心什么
Of what?
小心他 汉弗莱 他不正常
Of him. Humphrey. He's not normal.
伯爵夫人只是你的普通办公室经理
Oh, and Countess is just your average office manager.
他要东西不可能没有企图 保罗
He's not gonna want something for nothing, Paul.
说真的 为什么大家这么讨厌汉弗莱·威尔斯
Seriously, what's with all the hating on Humphrey Wells?
他不会把无辜的人推到喷泉里
He doesn't push innocent people into fountains.
你真是天真 我们知道这个新曙光计划
You're so naive. We know there's more to this
不仅是为了革新 -“我们”是谁
New Dawn than renovations. - Who's 'we'?
此外 伯爵夫人认为他令他的父亲失踪了
Plus, Countess thinks he disappeared his father.
约翰·威尔斯在哪里 -我不知道
Well, where's John Wells? - I dunno.
退休了 -哈
Retired. - Huh.
只是……
Just...
记住你被警告过
...consider yourself warned.
也许你是嫉妒了
Maybe you're jealous.
也许你无法接受这个事实
Maybe you can't handle the fact
董事长喜欢的是我 不是你
that the CEO loves me and not you.
你一直这么傲慢吗
Have you always been this arrogant?
或许我上了超级快道
Maybe I'm on a super fast track.
超级快道
A super fast track?
你是在常规快道 真♥相♥很难听
You're on a regular fast track. The truth is hard to hear.
相信我 你不是 你陷入这份工作了
Believe me, you are not. You fell into this job.
你不是从默默无闻中被董事长提携的
You weren't plucked from obscurity by the CEO
因为他们无法在伦敦找到其他的
because they can't find any other middling-intelligent,
中等智商 稍微好看一点的英国男孩
slightly good-looking English boys in the city of London.
如果董事长让你去找东西
If the CEO is asking you to find something,
那是因为他们不知道还能让你干什么
it's because they don't know what else to do with you.
好吧 这很有趣
OK. Well, this was fun.
我们再来一次 -行
Let's do it again. - Yep.
他来了
Here he is.
来自地狱的约会
The date from hell?
什么
What?
我们去喝一杯 然后互相大喊大叫
"Let's go for a drink and yell at each other."
喔 等等 -一点也不酷 罗密欧
Whoa, hang on... - Not cool, Romeo!
一点不酷
Not cool.
保罗 卡西米尔·苏斯洛维兹
Paul! Casimir Suslowicz.
你面试时我们见过
We met at your interview.
希望你在适应了
Well, hope you're adjusting.
得走了
Must dash.
对 就在今天 保罗
PAUL: Right. Today's the day, Paul.
今天怎么了
MONTY: Today is what day?
我认识你 -我和很多人都很像
I know you. - I look like a lot of people.
蒙蒂 我面试之前我们见过
Monty. We met before my interview.
谁知道 不管怎样 转身回去
Who knows? Anyway, turn around and go back up.
我得去下面看看 -不行
I was just gonna look down... - Well, you can't.
为什么不行 -具体的我也不知道
Why not? - I don't have those details.
我只被告知 不要让任何人进入地下室
All I've been told is "Don't let anyone in the basement."
但是下面只有一个旧贮藏室
But there's just an old closet down there.
我就是说这个 贮藏室 -你说的地下室
That's what I said - closet. - You said basement.
不不 我说的贮藏室 -你绝对说的地下室
No, no, I said closet. - You definitely said basement.
拜托不要告诉坦纳先生我说了这个
Please don't tell Mr Tanner I said that.
为什么
Why not?
他的惩罚一套一套的
He's very creative with his punishment.
你没有教过我音乐史
You didn't teach me History of Music
也没教过我足球 对吧
or coach football, did you?
没有
No.
你是想让我错过我的面试
You were trying to make me miss my interview.
没错 我是按照指示
Yes. As instructed.
我不会告诉坦纳先生你说了地下室
I won't tell Mr Tanner you said basement.
噢 你真是太好了
Oh, that's very decent of you.
只要你让我下去
If you let me go down there.
啊
Agh!
找到你了
Found you.
女士们先生们 朋友们
HUMPHREY:Ladies and gentlemen, my friends,
请大家注意 谢谢
if I may get your attention. Thank you.
你们即将看到的
What you're about to see -
毫不夸张地说
and it's not exaggerating to say this -
将会永远改变世界
is going to change the world forever.
看 几个世纪以来
HUMPHREY: See, for centuries,
JW威尔斯公♥司♥一直经营这些小生意
we at JW Wells have been in the business
用渺小的方式改变渺小的人生
of changing small lives in small ways.
绝对迷人
Absolutely lovely.
我一直觉得这是对我们才能的极大浪费
Now, this has always struck me as an odd waste of our talents.
所以当我父亲失踪 推测已经死亡的时候
So when my father disappeared, presumed dead,
我认定这就是我们的机会
I decided this was our chance.
机遇近在眼前
Opportunity is right there in front of us,
求着我们使用
begging to be used.
我们一直给我们的客户
HUMPHREY: We've always provided a service
提供服务
for our customers.
如果我们让他们为我们服务呢
What if we make them serve us?
如果我们让他们成为产品呢
What if we make them the product?
坦纳先生 让我们看看试验品
Mr Tanner, let's have the guinea pig.
请大家围过来
Gather round, please.
我要给你们看点东西
I have something to show you.
苏菲 再问几个简短的问题
HUMPHREY: Sophie, just a few more quick questions.
有什么恐惧症吗
Any phobias?
恐惧气球
Balloons, weirdly.
喜欢咖啡吗 -一点也不 抱歉
HUMPHREY: Do you like coffee? - Not at all, sorry.
最爱的音乐类型
Favourite music style?
我喜欢很多音乐 唯独不喜欢爵士乐
I like loads of music, just not jazz.
你会有什么想法
HUMPHREY: What do you think of
当我说甘草糖这个词的时候
when I say the word 'liquorice'?
我近乎想呕吐
I actually almost gag.
这是我的快道面试
This is my fast-track interview...
好了 就到这
OK, hold it right there.
那次面试之后
After that interview,
我们能够影响这个年轻的消费者
we were able to influence this young consumer.
我不知道自己是怎么回事
SOPHIE: I don't know what's happening to me.
我在听爵士乐 喝咖啡 这些都是我讨厌的
I'm listening to jazz, drinking coffee, which I hate.
我突然喜欢上气球
I'm suddenly loving balloons.
我不知道自己是谁了
I mean, I just don't know who I am anymore.
谢谢 丹尼斯
HUMPHREY: Thank you, Dennis.
等等
PAUL: Wait...
如果我们能影响这样一个受过良好教育
HUMPHREY: If we can do this to a well-educated...
年轻的
HUMPHREY: ..young,
意志坚强的人
strong-willed individual,
想象一下我们能对大众群体做些什么
imagine what we can do to the masses.
你的房♥产价格会暴涨
Your property prices will skyrocket.
你的消费者基数将会变两倍 三倍 四倍
Your consumer base will double, triple, quadruple!
你们的罗杰会以压倒性优势赢得选举
Your Roger will win his election in a landslide!
你是怎么做到的
MAN: How are you doing this?
用一个简单又有约束力的合同
HUMPHREY: With a simple binding contract
他们甚至不知道他们已经签了字
they don't even know they've signed.