二流警探（2010）

Terry answers to no one.
向来我行我素
I do what I do.
什么破公♥司♥啊 星期二 十一点还没开门
What accounting firm is closed at 11:00 a.M. On a Tuesday?
破地方
This is a shithole.
我喜欢炸♥弹♥
I love bombs.
我听不见了 听不见了
I can't hear! I can't hear!
我满手是血
There's blood blisters on my hands!
上帝啊
Oh, my God!
电影里边的家伙怎么能够
How do they walk away in movies without flinching
即便炸♥弹♥就在身后也能坦然走开
when it explodes behind them?
根本做不到 电影里瞎扯
There's no way! I call bullshit on that!
当他们经过死亡之星外边的千年鹰号♥时
When they flew the Millennium Falcon outside of the Death Star,
紧跟着就是轰的一声 怎么可能
and it was followed by the explosion, that was bullshit!
你竟敢说星球大战的坏话 说的好
Don't you dare badmouth Star Wars! That was all accurate!
我需要做核磁共振
I need an MRI.
我需要做核磁共振 肯定有软组织受损
I need an MRI! I've got soft tissue damage.
这种情况肯定会软组织受损呢
There's no way I don't have soft tissue damage.
别说了
Please stop.
我只想离开这儿 我要妈妈
I just wanna go somewhere and breastfeed right now!
火警部门说是燃气泄露
Fire Department said it was a gas leak,
显然扯淡 这是计划好了的
but no way. That was timed.
不过他们并不想杀了我们 只是想吓唬吓唬
They didn't wanna kill us, but they wanted to scare us.
这么说他们目的达到了 是吧
Yeah, well, they succeeded, okay?
我受不了了
I'm tired of this. All right?
受不了他妈的爆♥炸♥ 还有人拿枪指着我们
I'm tired of explosions and people pointing guns at me.
我就想回到办公室
I wanna go back to my desk.
可你要知道 有时候必须面对生活
Guess what? Life gets loud sometimes and messes with your ears.
你不能躲在办工桌下一辈子
You can't escape it by hiding at your desk for your whole life.
你懂个屁啊 你有能耐
You know what? Yes, you can.
可我在办公室干了这么多年
I've done it for years, okay?
从没碰到什么狗屁炸♥弹♥
There's no explosions at my desk.
也不会有炸♥弹♥
There's no explosions at
威胁到我温馨的家 我平凡的妻子
my home with my plain wife, in my plain house.
你到底怕什么 伙计
What are you afraid of, man?
我是你搭档 跟我说
I'm your partner. You can tell me.
你到底在逃避什么
What the hell are you hiding from?
我大学二年级的时候
I was a sophomore in college.
学校方面突然要涨学费
The university I went to decided they needed to raise tuition.
我一位同学 布恩达
A classmate of mine, Brenda,
想努力挣钱好留在学校
in an effort to raise money and stay in school,
于是想出一个馊主意
came up with a nifty plan
她通过与人进行收费约会来挣钱
where she thought she'd date guys and charge them money.
我一直都在约会
I go on dates all the time,
就像你知道的 一大群男孩子
with a whole bunch of, you know, boys and stuff.
所以我需要一个人帮我打理
And I kind of need somebody to help me out,
就像犯罪搭档一样
like, you know, my partner in crime.
我可以作个时间表
Yeah, I could make a schedule.
对对对 我也是这么想的
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I was thinking.
-提供接送服务 -对对
- Provide transportation services. - Yeah, yeah.
-希望合作愉快 -谢谢你来找我
- It's gonna be a good time. - Thanks so much for asking me.
她说需要我来打理那些约会 以确保无误
She said she needed my help to make sure that the dates went okay
她收到钱后 会按比例给我一部分
and that the guys paid her. She said she'd give me a percentage.
-天哪 你是皮条客 -什么 不是
- Oh, my God. You were a pimp. - What? God, no.
我只是想帮帮朋友
No, I was just trying to help a friend.
我们开始挣大把大把的钱
We started making a lot of money.
你想不到的是 布恩达的一些女朋友
And wouldn't you know it, some of Brenda's girlfriends
也想加入进来
decided they wanted to be a part of it.
很快 我们的队伍扩展到了十四个女孩子
Pretty soon, there were about 14 ladies that I was protecting
都会跟我分红
while they gave me money.
那叫做聚众卖♥♥淫
That's called a stable of whores.
我们觉得我不该再用真名
We decided I shouldn't use my real name.
所以改叫 盖特
So we came up with the name "Gator."
我说嘛 你就是皮条客
I'm telling you, you were a pimp.
说了不是 你有没听我讲啊
No! Are you even listening to the story?
后来有一天 我醒来然后照镜子的时候
Anyway, one day, I wake up and I look in the mirror,
我真讨厌镜子里的自己
and I don't like what I see.
我是指我已失控
I mean, I had gotten out of control,
可我甚至没有意识到
and I didn't even realize it.
皮条客能有什么良心呢
You can't have a conscience in the pimp game.
一天晚上 我最喜欢的两个姑娘
One night, two of my favorite girls,
坎迪和琼尼说 "加入我们吧"
Candy and Jolene, said, "We gotta take you in,"
然后把我丢在了急救室
and they dropped me off at the emergency room.
我在那碰见了席拉 狼狈透了
That's where I met Sheila. I was a mess.
我对自己和她作了保证
I made a promise to myself and
再也不会失控了
to her that I would never get out of control again.
所以 当我大学一毕业
So, as soon as I graduated from college,
就来警♥察♥局当了会计
I became an accountant for the police department.
这是我能想到的最稳定的工作了
The most stable job I could think of.
专管社会治安
An accountant for law and order.
我只是再不想有那种失控的感觉了
I just don't wanna ever feel out of control like that ever again.
别担心 我挺你
Don't worry. I got your back.
我们去审厄尔松吧 看他招不招
Now I say we go get in Ershon's grill and see if he cracks.
-我真厌倦小心翼翼地四处行动 -那好
- I'm tired of all this tippy-toeing around. - Okay.
要么爬跳板 要么脱裤子
You can either walk the plank or take your panties off.
你自己选择
The choice is yours.
我宁可脱裤子
I want to take my panties off.
很好 你的选择很明智
You've made a wise choice, you have.
厄尔松先生 甘博探员
Mr. Ershon, Detective Gamble
和杀死德雷克·吉特的那个警探来了
and the officer who shot Derek Jeter are here.
先生们 请进
Gentlemen, please.
-记得我们吗 大红人 -当然了 请坐
- Remember us, hotshot? - Of course I do. Please, sit.
她吹了
There she blows.
请给我两杯伏特加
Two of those Russian waters,
不要柠檬 要黄瓜
please. No lime wedges, just cucumber.
猜猜我们从哪儿来
Guess where we just came from?
你的会计公♥司♥爆♥炸♥了
An explosion at your accounting office.
是啊 该死的天然气泄漏了
Yes, that awful gas leak.
天然气吗 依我看
Gas leak? The only gas leak
是你的口腔异味儿泄漏了吧
is the one coming out of your mouth right now.
我只想谢天谢地 还好没人受重伤
I just thank God no one was hurt or injured in a bad way.
我恨透了死亡
I absolutely abhor death.
我说安德鲁·劳埃德·韦博 别装啦
Hey, Andrew Lloyd Webber. The jig is up, okay?
我们知道抓你的人并不是你的保安
We know that wasn't your security team that grabbed you.
也知道你想引大鱼上钩来弥补损失
And we know you're targeting a big fish to cover losses.
你再不交代 我就揍你一顿
You talk or I beat you so it don't show no bruises.
特里 这水太好喝了 你喝了没
God, this water is good. Terry, have you tried the water?
闭嘴 艾伦
Shut up, Allen.
我保证 我不知道你们在说啥
I assure you, I have no idea what you're talking about.
我知道脚手架的事
I understand there was a bit
确实有点儿乱
of a mix-up with the whole scaffolding business.
这黄瓜真是把水弄得太...
The cucumber accents the water in such a way that...
为表歉意
Perhaps by way of apology,
我可以送你们私藏的尼克斯队比赛的
I can offer you my personal courtside seats
前排座位票 和使节汽车俱乐部通行证
for the Knicks game, with access to the Ambassador Club.
尼克斯队 尼克斯队 我超级迷恋
Come on, Knicks! Come on! I got Knicks' fever and it's catching!
我怎么感觉坐着怪怪的 挺像是贿赂啊
Hey. This feels weird sitting here. It feels like it's a bribe.
确实是 婊♥子♥养♥的♥ 看到票我就昏头了
It is a bribe. Son-of-a-bitch, I saw courtside and I went blind.
走吧
Come on.
打电♥话♥给我啊
Call me!
-不好意思 -玩什么把戏
- Excuse me. - That was a trick.
别再玩啦
No more.
先生们 来选吧 妈妈咪呀还是泽西男孩呢
Gentlemen, you have a choice. Mamma Mia or Jersey Boys.
棒极啦 你们真难以置信
Fantastic! You're so unbelievable!
该死的 他又耍了这招
Damn it. He did it again.
-不好意思 -别再耍花招了
- Excuse me. - No more tickets.
厄尔松先生 我试图让他们在休息室里等
Mr. Ershon, I tried to keep them in the waiting room.
没事 苏珊 两杯冰川矿泉水加地中海青柠
That's okay, Susan. Two Glacier waters with Mediterranean limes.
不不不 我们不是来喝水的
No, no, no. No more water. We're not here for that.
不啊 我倒是很想喝杯水呢
No, I was very much looking forward to having a water.
-泽西男孩很棒吧 -不止是棒 太精彩啦
- How great is Jersey Boys? - It's not great. It's fantastic!
你卖♥♥价低了 那服装和场景啊