二流警探（2010）

Yeah, well, it's Sir David Ershon, but I don't bother with the...
总之我很忙
Anyway, little bit of a rush,
先生们 请让个道 谢谢
gentlemen, if you don't mind. Thank you.
-抱歉 但你被逮捕了 -什么
- Excuse me, but you're under arrest, okay? - What?
你有权保持沉默
You have the right to remain silent.
你的言行举止将可能被当做
Anything you do or say can be used...
-接下去怎么说 -气浮装置
- What's the next part? - As a floatation device.
当做气浮装置
As a floatation device.
你知道吗 这太有意思了
You know what? That's very funny.
我之前从没抓过人
I have never Miranda-ed anyone before.
-真的吗 -你们是认真的吗
- Really? - Are you guys for real?
我被耍了吗
Am I being punk'd?
艾伦·甘博警探
Detective Allen Gamble.
我们在一辆盖着可♥卡♥因♥的车上 车上有疑犯
We are in a cocaine-covered car, and we are bringing in a perp.
-大卫·厄尔松 -175磅
- One David Ershon. - 175 pounds.
-谢了 175磅 -你给我闭嘴 闭嘴
- Thank you. 175 pounds. - Shut up, man, shut up!
马丁和弗斯此时可能
Martin and Fosse are probably
在B台接受谢巴德的专访
on Studio B talking to Shepard Smith right now.
而我们就因为许可证把他抓了
We arrest this jerkoff for a scaffolding permit?
等等 我为什么被抓
Wait, wait, wait, what am I being arrested for?
没有施工许可证
For scaffolding permit violation...
-我找找保险单在哪 -放松点
- I got my insurance card. Somewhere. - Easy, mate.
-该死 你直接撞过来的 -站过去
- What the hell? You ran right into us! - Stand over there.
木头
Wood?
怎么
What the...
-我车这么大你看不见吗 -你说什么
- Couldn't see the car. It's big enough, mate. - What?
别让这帮人带走我
Do not let these men take me.
她干嘛那么看着你
Why's she looking at you like that?
这是我的车
That's my car!
我们还没交换保险单呢
Hey, hey, hey! We didn't exchange insurance information!
抱歉
Hey! Excuse me!
他们干嘛拿我们的鞋子
Why did they take our shoes?
-刚才到底怎么回事 -我的手♥机♥呢
- What the hell just happened? - Where's my iPhone?
我想我们走了有30个街区了
I think we've walked 30 blocks, man.
我弄不明白
I don't get why we can't just
为什么不打电♥话♥叫辆警车来接我们
call the office and have a squad car come pick us up.
不 他们抢走了鞋子 手♥枪♥ 还有汽车
No. They took our shoes, our guns, and our car.
绝对不能在对讲机上说出去
There's no way that's going out on the radio.
听着 如果我们要一起干
Look, if we're gonna do this together,
有些问题要说清楚
there's some issues we need to settle, okay?
你说我下巴尖
I mean, you said I had a weak chin.
你说我小便的方式像女人
You said the way I pee is feminine.
我听了会怎么想
How do you think that makes me feel?
你对我的看法
I mean, that list you have,
许多看法 让人觉得很不舒服
you put a lot of thought in. It's weird.
我明白了
I hear you.
让我们摒弃前嫌 重新开始
Let's clean the slate right now. Fresh start.
好 重新开始
All right. Fresh start.
也许我们该改称自己为费布里茨兄弟
Maybe we should call ourselves the Febreze Brothers,
因为这一切真令人兴奋
'cause it's feeling so fresh right now.
如何
Right?
换个方式重新开始
Let's do another fresh start,
因为我想一拳打你脸上
'cause I just wanted to punch you in the face.
好 重新开始
Fine, fresh start.
最后一次
It's the last one.
我要学会如何表达自己
I have to be able to express myself and say things, you know.
-阿土伯们 听着 -听着
- Okay, folks! Everybody, listen up! - Listen up!
有一宗公共绑♥架♥案
Got a high profile kidnapping.
大卫·厄尔松 银行家 跨国资本家
David Ershon, wealthy banker, multinational team.
也许有点蹊跷 但不能妄加猜测
Maybe a sleeper cell, but it's too early to tell.
比尔博·巴金斯 你们的鞋呢
Hey, Bilbo Baggins. Where are your shoes?
你们脚够黑的
'Cause your feet are black.
不管这些了 这都不重要
Who cares? It's not important, okay?
霍伊茨 甘博 队长找你们 没好事
Hoitz, Gamble, Captain. Not good.
-再见啦 -再见
- Bye, guys. - Bye-bye.
过来
Come on.
这位是唐·比尔曼 厄尔松先生的律师
Guys, this is Don Beaman, the attorney for Mr. Ershon.
罗杰·韦斯利 保安组组长
Roger Wesley, head of his private security.
-你好 你这狗♥娘♥养♥的
- Hey, how are you? You son of a bitch!
特里 冷静点
Hey, Terry! Take it easy!
-就是他拿走了我们的枪 队长 -还有鞋子
- That's the guy who took our guns, Captain. - And my shoes!
等等 等等
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
你们当时表明了警♥察♥的身份了吗
Did you identify yourselves as police officers?
他没看见啊
What is this?
-艾伦 你说 有吗 -没有
- Allen, tell me. Did you? - No, we did not.
抱歉 各位 我们以为你们在绑♥架♥厄尔松先生
Sorry, gentlemen. We thought you were abducting Mr. Ershon.
这里是份草案
It's only protocol.
厄尔松已经同意
Mr. Ershon has agreed to correct
处理相关的许可证问题 案子结了
this scaffolding situation. The case is closed.
必要的文书工作我已经处理完了
I've taken care of all necessary paperwork.
你们两个 此时此刻应该感到庆幸
And you fellas, at this point, should just be glad that
厄尔松先生对你们滥用职权不追究
Mr. Ershon is not pressing charges for excessive use of force.
-谢谢 队长 -客气了
- Thank you, Captain. - You bet.
澳大利亚人吗
Australian?
特种部队的 对吧
Special Forces, right?
注意点你的口气 警官
Best watch your step, Detective.
在这个世界上我喜欢三样东西
There are three things I love in this world.
凯利·米洛
Kylie Minogue,
女人屁♥股♥上的小酒窝
small dimples just above a woman's buttocks...
很有意思
Beautiful features.
还有受害人眼里恐惧的眼神
...and the fear in a man's eye who knows I'm about to hurt him.
都给我闭嘴 别吵了
Hey! Shake your dicks. This pissing contest is over.
算了 哥们
Come on, man.
看看 他们把鞋子还你了
All right, look, they returned your shoes.
武器也归还了 给你 特里
And they returned your weapons. Here you go, Terry.
艾伦 他们还给你的木枪做了保养
Allen, someone was nice enough to put linseed oil on it,
原先有点污渍 可能是核桃露
some kind of stain on that, dark walnut or something.
你可以考虑送份锦旗什么的
You might wanna think about dropping them a thank you note.
好吧
Okay.
你在生气吗 吉恩
You're mad at us, huh, Gene?
别叫我吉恩 我是你们的队长
First off, don't call me Gene. I'm your captain.
你们还记得"随机应变"那场演讲吗
Guys, do you remember the "Be Smart" Speech?
-当然 -好的
- Sure. - All right.
那你们当时随机应变了吗
Well, what did you do? What'd you do about it?
正好相反 没有 吉恩队长
The opposite. We were not smart, Captain Gene.
"队长"就可以了
It's just "Captain."
"队长" 不是"吉恩队长"
Just "Captain." It's not "Captain Gene."
又不是给小朋友表演
I don't have a kiddie show.
吉恩队长 听着吓死人
That sounds creepy, "Captain Gene."
警♥察♥误抓了投资银行家厄尔松
Police mistakenly arrest investment banker, David Ershon.
他是金融案件的受害者吗
Was he the victim of financial profiling?
金融案件吗 这真疯狂
Financial profiling? That's crazy.
他违反了法律 我们逮捕了他
He broke the law and we arrested him.
那根本就不是保安队的
That wasn't a security team.
厄尔松说过"别让他们抓走我"
He said, "Don't let these people take me."
假如我说"蹄" 你想到的是马 而不是斑马
I mean, when you hear hooves, you think horses, not zebras.
那驴或者鹿呢
What about donkeys or deer?
他们也有蹄子 还有那些牲畜呢
They have hooves. What about bovine creatures?
还记着着"重新开始"吗
Were you just thinking to yourself, "Fresh start"?
-是 -是 看得出来
- Yeah. - Yeah. I could see it.
我看 不如去我家吧
Listen, why don't we just go over to my place?
好好讨论案子
We'll talk the case down.
我们可以共进晚餐 见见席拉
We can have a little dinner. You can meet Sheila.
两个警♥察♥边吃东西边讨论案子
Two cops talking down a case while eating food, all right?
-用狗屁餐 -好
- It's not dinner. - Fine.
事先说明一下
And let me apologize in advance, okay,
如果我老婆突然发飙
in case my wife acts like a world-class bitch.
她年纪大了 喜欢撒野
She's a big old broad, and she likes to wield it.
这里有些厄尔松的生平资料
Okay, so I put together a little bio,
还有一些照片
complete with pictures of Mr. David Ershon.
用软件组合起来