二流警探（2010）

在纽约 法律和犯罪间有一道可靠屏障
In New York City, there's a fine line between law and chaos.
屏障上站立着丹森和海史密斯
On that line live Danson and Highsmith.
说说 我爬车顶上为毛啊
Tell me again why I decided to get on this roof!
就当你选择了人生的悲剧
I think you can chalk that up to bad life choices.
甩开那个混♥蛋♥
Get rid of that asshole.
这时候你啊噢个鸟
I hate it when you say "Uh-oh!"
老兄 你压我车盖
Dude, you put a ding in my hood!
来呀
Come on with it, then!
麻烦了
That's trouble.
有人打91...搞个鸟啊
Did someone call Nine-One-holy-shit?
行了 我受够了逃来逃去
That's it. I'm sick of all this running.
坐稳
Hang on!
你有权保持沉默
You have the right to remain silent!
不过我想听到你的尖叫
But I wanna hear you scream!
趴下
Down on the ground!
警官 警官
Detective! Yeah, yeah! Detective!
一个一个来 好吗
One at a time, all right?
警官 我是里克·格雷森
Yeah, Detectives, Rick Grayson,
来自纽约观察在线
New York Observer Online.
这些嫌犯仅仅是因为
These suspects were caught
四分之一磅大♥麻♥被捕
with only a quarter pound of marijuana,
在有些州只能算轻罪
a misdemeanor in some states.
你觉得这次行动
Do you think this arrest
值得付出一千二百万的财产损失吗
was worth $12 million in property damages?
为什么不让整个纽约市来回答这个问题呢
Why don't we let New York City answer that question?
地球上最伟大的城市 耶
The greatest city on Earth, yeah!
嗨 我是名人闲话报的莎拉·加蓬
Hi, Sarah Gapone from TMZ print edition.
丹森 你和金·卡戴珊的绯闻是真的吗
Danson, are the rumors about you and Kim Kardashian true?
不发表评论
No comment.
不过 是的
But, yes.
丹森和海史密斯 热狗终身免费
Danson and Highsmith, free hot dogs for life!
不含饮料 不含饮料 不能这样
No drinks. No drinks. I can't do it. I can't do it.
丹森和海史密斯 他们开枪 开车
Danson and Highsmith shoot, drive,
性感有型 他们就像摇滚明星
and sex with style. They're rock stars.
然后还有小丑 自大狂 老兵油子
Then you got your jokers, your ball busters, your vets...
和二流警探
and the other guys.
我们知道 我们知道
We know, we know. We know.
好了 好了 好了 听着 听着
All right, all right, all right. Listen up, listen up!
我们今晚在巴特酒吧庆祝
We're having a celebration tonight at Butter.
布罗迪·詹那会来 还有白灵
Brody Jenner's gonna be there. Bai Ling.
那个来自新泽西海岸的小婊♥子♥
That little short bitch from Jersey Shore.
你们多数人都在邀请之列
And most of you are on the list.
你们是最棒的
You're the best.
伙计们 现在我要说个故事
Guys, I'm gonna say something right now.
关于一个怀揣梦想的奥地利人
It's about a man who came from Austria with a dream.
-阿诺·施瓦辛格 -让我说完
- Arnold Schwarzenegger! - Let me finish.
他赢得了冠军 然后成了电影明星
He became a champion and then a movie star, all right?
-阿诺·施瓦辛格 -他妈的 让我
- Arnold Schwarzenegger! - God damn it, let me...
他们毁了这故事 他们毁了这故事
They ruined the story. They ruined the story.
让 操 重点是
Let... What... The point is,
如果没有你们做文书工作 接电♥话♥
we couldn't do our job if it weren't for you guys doing all the paperwork,
做我们讨厌的事情的话 我们也不会成功
answering the phones, and all that stupid shit that we don't like to do.
那些枪战 那些追车
All the gun fights, all the car chases,
那些我们不想而又不得不做的爱
all the sex we don't wanna have with women, but we have to,
都要归功于你们 谢谢
all due to what you guys do. Thank you.
我们就得不停地做
And we'd do it again and again.
喂 闭上你的嘴
Hey, you shut your face!
如果我们想听你说话
If we wanna hear you talk,
我就会用胳膊顶着你的屁♥股♥
I will shove my arm up your ass
像控制木偶一样控制你的嘴
and work your mouth like a puppet!
听懂了吗 听懂了吗
You hear me? You hear me?
-去酒吧吧 -好
- Cash bar. - Yeah.
撤了 贱♥人♥们
Peace out, bitches.
好了大家 凑近点
Hey, fellas. All right, bring it in.
快点 凑近一点
Come on. Bring it in a little bit.
好了 就那
All right, right there.
往后点 好 就那
Just back up, just like right there.
好 就 就
All right, just one... Just a...
就是这样 就那 就那
There you go, right there. Right there.
这是他们的报告 你们知道他们不会写
This is their paperwork. You know they're not gonna do it.
没错 这些报告就像鲍勃的老婆
That's right. This paperwork is like Bob's wife here.
又肥又丑 还遍布着丹森的指纹
It's thick, ugly, got Danson's fingerprints all over it.
-不针对你 鲍勃 -没关系
- No offense, Bob. - That's all right.
-总之 谁想做 -我来
- Anyway, now who wants it? - I do!
好的 贱书呆和扬基杀手接了
All right! Paper Bitch and Yankee Clipper on the case!
干得好 谢谢 艾伦
Nice work. Thanks, Allen.
谢谢 队长
Thank you, Captain.
我来 我来
"I'll do it! I'll do it!"
别哼那歌♥了
Stop humming that song!
-我想哼就能哼 -我知道你能
- I can hum if I want to. - No, I know you can.
我请你停下
I'm asking you to stop.
好 如果你请我停下 我就停下
Well, if you're asking, then I'll stop.
谢谢
Thank you.
你能别笑成那样吗
Could you not smile like that?
现在你自己看不顺眼
Now you're asking me to mask my emotions
就要求我伪装自己的情绪
because of how it makes you feel.
我不会听的
That I will not do.
我说真的呢 别哼了 好吗
Seriously, stop humming! Okay?
不管你和你的小计算器是从哪调过来的
This isn't accounting or wherever the hell
你做的都不是会计工作
you and your little pocket calculator were transferred from.
法务会计行吗 这是工作的重要部分
Forensic accounting, okay. And it's an important part of the job.
行 随便 别为这狗屁工作
Yeah, whatever. Stop being so
沾沾自喜了 你个白♥痴♥
overtly happy about doing shit work, you moron.
嗨 伙计们 友情提示
Hey, guys. Reminder.
周末有警♥察♥协会野餐
The police union picnic's coming up this weekend.
我老婆要做她拿手的魔鬼蛋[西餐冷盘]
My wife's making her famous deviled eggs,
我的腰围要发出警报了
again. My waistline's furious.
现在不是说这个的时候 鲍勃
It's a bad time, Bob!
好吧
All right.
我出去安静会
Going to get a slience.
知道我刚才干嘛了吗
You know what I just did?
我走出那扇门 看到一些警官
I just walked out that door, saw a couple detectives,
想在背后说你坏话
and I was about to start bad mouthing you behind your back,
但我忍♥住了 我爸教过我
but I stopped myself, because my pops taught me
在背后说别人坏话是懦弱的表现
that a man who talks behind somebody's back is a coward.
我很认同
Wow, I actually appreciate that.
很好 因为我要当着你的面说
Good, 'cause I'm gonna tell you directly to your face.
-别 不用这样 -我不喜欢你
- No. You don't have to. - No, I don't like you.
我觉得你是个伪警♥察♥
I think you're a fake cop.
你的尿射在便池上的声音 像娘们一样
The sound of your piss hitting the urinal? It sounds feminine.
如果我们是野兽 我就攻击你
If we were in the wild, I would attack you.
就算你不在我的食物链上
Even if you weren't in my food chain,
我也要劳神去攻击你
I would go out of my way to attack you.
如果我是狮子 你是金枪鱼
If I were a lion, and you were a tuna,
我就游到大海中♥央♥ 把你♥他♥妈♥给吃了
I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you!
然后我还要搞你的金枪鱼女友
And then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend.
好吧 首先 狮子到海里游泳吗
Okay, first off, a lion swimming in the ocean?
狮子不喜欢水
Lions don't like water.
如果你把地点设定在河边
If you'd placed it near a river
或者水源之类的还有点道理
or some sort of fresh water source, that'd make sense.
但要是你去海里 二十英尺高的浪
But you find yourself in the ocean, 20-foot waves,
假设是在南非海岸吧
I'm assuming it's off the coast of South Africa,
你要和一条八百磅重的成熟金枪鱼
coming up against a full-grown,
还有它的二三十个弟兄斗吗
800-pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends?
你会输的
You lose that battle.
你十有八♥九♥会输的 你猜怎么着
You lose that battle nine times out of ten. And guess what?
要是你游荡到我们金枪鱼群里
You've wandered into our school of tuna,
我们就能尝尝狮子的味道了
and we now have a taste of lion.
我们会说话 我们会交流
We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated.
-是吗 -我们会说 知道吗
- Yeah? - And said, "You know what?"