二流警探（2010）

Well, here she is. They left her under an overpass for the night.
有何发现
You find anything?
有 东西不少呢
Yeah. We found a lot of stuff.
有体液 毛发
From bodily fluid and hair samples,
可以断定曾有一群
we determined that a bunch of old,
无家可归的老流氓在这狂欢过
homeless dudes had an orgy in the car.
知道他们把这车叫作什么吗
You know what that's called when they do that in there?
汤屋
That's called a soup kitchen.
真是一群邋遢的家伙
It's pretty rough stuff.
没过多久 过来一位怀孕的浣熊
Not long after that, a mama raccoon came along
它就在车里生产
and gave birth on the floor.
弄得后窗玻璃上满是胎盘
Placenta blew out all over the back window there.
更有甚者 有个滑稽家过来
Yeah, and then to top it all off, some joker comes along
就在驾驶座上拉了一坨屎
takes himself a nifty little dump in the driver's seat.
他们好像知道车主是警♥察♥
I think he knew you guys were cops,
因为这屎充满着蓄意的恶毒
because this is what I would call a spite shit.
凭那些体液与毛发你就可以推断出这些吗
You were able to determine all of that from the hair and fluid samples?
是的
Oh, yeah.
指纹呢 有没发现指纹
What about fingerprints? You find any fingerprints?
-没 压根就没 -找到一个手♥机♥
- Nope, couldn't get a one. - Found a cell phone.
是我的
Yeah, that's mine.
有没有打斗的痕迹
Any signs of a struggle or spent shells?
没有 相信我
No. Believe me, everybody
那些狂欢者可是非常疯狂的
that was in on this orgy was more than willing.
他们还留了张纸条
In fact, they even left you a note here.
谢谢这棚屋 爱你的 脏兮兮的迈克和朋友们
"Thanks for the F-shack. Love, Dirty Mike and the boys."
还有呢
Here's something we found.
这是一打还没刮的彩票
We found about a dozen unscratched lottery tickets.
指纹什么的也没有 你看看
No fingerprints or nothing. Check that out.
真是一团糟
Yeah, it's a real shame, you know.
这辆普锐斯 真是机器里的可怜虫
I got myself a Prius. It's a hell of a machine.
这是我的第一辆新款车 之前还没有过新车
It's my first brand-new car. I've never owned a new car.
还找到鹿的阴♥道♥
Found a deer vagina.
-什么 -起先还以为是人嘴
- What? - Thought it was human lips at first.
仔细一看 还真是鹿的阴♥道♥
Then we took a closer look. It was definitely a deer vagina.
一个都没中
Not even a free ticket.
下一步怎么办
What are we gonna do?
没有指纹 就一打报废的彩票
We got no fingerprints, a bunch of losing lottery tickets.
等等
Look at this, there's a
有两分钟的通话记录 是我们被赶下车后的
two-minute phone call made after we were jumped.
-他们用过你的电♥话♥吗 -谁知道怎么搞的
- They used your phone? - They ghost dialed.
或许某人一屁♥股♥坐上面了
Someone probably sat on it.
说不定录下了
It could have recorded some
厄尔松被绑♥架♥时的对话
of their conversation when Ershon got grabbed.
打过去看看
We gotta hear the other side of that call.
不行 不 没什么
Nope, no, it's nothing.
没什么 这可是我们唯一的线索
Nothing? It's the only lead we have.
没什么 真没什么
It's nothing. It's nothing.
那你干嘛那么大反应
Why did you just get superjumpy?
怎么了
What?
是我的前女友
It's an ex-girlfriend, okay?
那又怎样 你怎么了
What's the matter? What happened with you guys?
她就是有点疯狂
She was just a bit of a handful, that's it.
艾伦 这是我们唯一的线索
Allen, it's the only lead we have.
要么顺着查下去 要么趁早撒手得了
We either go with this or we walk away from this case right now.
好吧 我带你去见她
Fine. Let's go see her.
你好 克瑞斯提拉
Hello, Christinith.
你好 艾伦
Hello, Allen.
-我搭档 特里 -你好 特里
- That's my partner, Terry. - Hi, Terry.
-天啊 真行啊你 -淡定 淡定
- Holy shit. Dude. - Just relax, relax.
我在彪炳城♥堡♥等了你四个小时
I waited for you in Tower Records for four hours.
那是十三年前的事了
That was 13 years ago.
阿诺·帕尔默式鸣笛 阿诺·帕尔默式鸣笛
Arnold Palmer alert. Arnold Palmer alert.
谁要来点合成棕榈皮
Who wants some Arnie Palmies?
甜心 这边这个加了伏特加
Sweetie, this one has the vodky, right here.
-放下就好了 -好的
- Hal, just place it down, please. - All right.
跟你上过床之后
I did things in bed with
我就再也没和别人做过那事
you that I haven't done with anyone since.
没有过
No.
克瑞斯提拉 你丈夫 好像笨笨的
Christinith, your husband, it's awkward.
不会啊 他都明白的
Oh, no, he knows all of this.
-你是条可爱的小狗 -没错
- You're a lucky dog. - It's true.
克里斯廷 你家真漂亮
Christine, this is a lovely house.
是克瑞斯提拉 你是傻子还是聋子
It's Christinith. Are you stupid, or are you deaf?
是克瑞斯提拉 白♥痴♥
Christinith, you idiot!
在我家就得叫对我太太的名字
You come to our house, you get my wife's name right!
-什么玩意 -是克瑞斯提拉
- What? - Christinith!
好了 很感谢你们的热情款待
Look, we really appreciate the hospitality.
不过我们来是为了获取你手♥机♥上的信息
We'd just love to get the message off your cell phone.
我们怀疑这跟一宗绑♥架♥案有关
We believe it might give us information regarding a kidnapping.
行啊 到厨房♥来吧
Okay. Why don't you come to the kitchen,
给你听个够
and I will let you listen to it
其他人就待这儿
and everyone else stay here.
-没问题 甜心 -来吧
- Okay, sweetie. - Come on.
-在那儿 -好的 谢谢配合
- There's my phone. - Great, thank you for...
我恨你 你这个婊♥子♥养♥的♥
I hate you, you son of a bitch!
-你很坚强 -我比你想象的更坚强
- You're so strong. - I'm stronger than you will ever know!
我恨你 我恨你
I hate you! I hate you!
真令人敬慕 看看你这张脸 这张脸
You're so adorable. Look at your face. Look at your face.
说 我爱你 说我爱你克瑞斯提拉
You go, "I wuv you." Say it. "I wuv you, Christinith."
看我留着胡子你或许以为我体毛很多
You probably think because of the beard that I'm really hairy.
其实不是
But I'm not.
只是我没刮而已
Shaved.
-艾伦 -他没事
- Allen! - He's fine.
考考你
Question.
熊和狗
What would you rather be,
你想当哪个
a bear or a dog?
-关我鸟事 -我想当
- I don't care. - I wanna be
一条熊狗 一半是狗 一半是熊
a bear dog. Half dog, half bear.
这样一来 我会住在房♥子里
'Cause that way, I could live in the house
可我也能到外边的树林拉坨屎
but I still get to make a doodie out in the woods.
艾伦
Allen!
艾伦 艾伦
Allen! Allen!
此为警方取证 特里 快跑
This is police evidence. Terry! Let's go!
给我回来 还得跟我老婆做♥爱♥呢
You get back here and you make love to my wife!
艾伦 艾伦
Allen! Allen!
我真搞不懂 伙计 搞不懂
I don't get it, man. I just do not get it.
那个克瑞斯提拉真惹火
I mean, that girl Christinith was seriously hot.
你老婆也那么惹火
Your wife is crazy hot.
即便那个巴西女保镖
I mean, even that Brazilian security chick,
也对你情意款款
she threw you a "Do me" Vibe.
你小子怎么这么有艳福呢
What is it with you and hot ladies?
首先 我妻子很可爱 而非惹火
First off, my wife is cute, but she's not hot.
伙计你疯了 你妻子非常性感
Dude, you're insane. Your wife is scalding hot.
-想听听吗 -听听看吧
- You wanna listen to this message or not? - Yeah, whatever.
你要做的是
You have one job, mate.
找个白♥痴♥跟你一块投资
Find a sucker to invest with you
这样你就能够把损失的钱还给我老板
so you can pay my boss back the money you lost.
随你找什么人
And I don't care who.
事实上 我想我找到了这样一位白♥痴♥
Right. I actually think I found a sucker...
-他在和厄尔松说话 -他可以投资三百二十亿
- He's talking to Ershon. - ...to invest $32 billion.
谁要打这三百二十亿的主意
Who's got $32 billion to rob?
拿到钱之后 我会伪造记录
Once I get the money, I'll falsify the records
让它看起来是他们的损失
to show their massive losses
然后就把钱还给你老板
and then repay your employer.
现在我得去公园大街2300号♥
Now, since you're following me, I need to go to 2300 Park Avenue,
在那之后...
and after that...
跟你说了那些人不是保镖
I told you it wasn't a security team.
-看来他被绑♥架♥了 -很显然 不过
- He was being abducted. - Obviously, but what kind... Holy...
跟我老婆做♥爱♥ 否则休想离开
Nobody leaves our house without making love to my wife!
-他追上来了 -是的