春之觉醒：那些你知道的（2022）

♪ Watching his world
Slip through my fist ♪
♪ Playing with her
In your fantasies ♪
♪ Haven't you heard the word ♪
♪ How I want you? ♪
♪ Oh, I'm gonna be wounded ♪
♪ Oh, I'm gonna be your wound ♪
♪ Oh, I'm gonna bruise you ♪
♪ Oh, you're gonna be
My bruise ♪
这是关于爱情的创伤
That is about the bruise of love.
预想欲望和爱带来的伤害
It's the anticipation of a wound in feeling desire, love.
这些小年轻们彼此吸引
These young people, in being drawn to one another,
不单单是“我想陪在你身边”
what they sense is not just, "Oh, I wanna be with you,"
而是“我要被你伤害了”
it's, "I'm gonna be wounded by you.
“欲望和渴求的伤疤……”
I'm gonna carry the wound of this desire,
“和爱情的淤青……”
carrying the bruise of love
“将伴随我一生”
the rest of my life."
我觉得你们亲的有点多了
I think there's too much kissing.
你们应该也不知道做什么
I think that you've got nowhere to go then.
我认为我们认真演绎
Well, I think when we're really doing it,
其实还好
it will be okay.
我和Lea拿到的剧本
Lea and I were giventhis material
角色两情相悦
where we had to fall in love.
我能这样吗 -I could do like this?
我说“Mechior” -I say, "Melchior."
Michael导演会教这些年轻人们
Michael Mayer, here he is with these kids,
十分仔细地
and he has to direct...
指导上四分钟
a like four-minute, incredibly detailed
设计动作
and choreographed...
还有性♥爱♥场面
sex scene with children.
Melchior.
就是这样 她能看到 -That's it. She can see it.
你不必...
You don't have to--
不 等等 -No, wait. No.
是的 就是这样 -Right, exactly.
不可以 我们不能这样做 -I can't. We're not supposed to.
什么？ -What?
我想到第一件事是
But the first thing I felt was...
他们会发现我是基的
"They're gonna know I'm gay.
我没有和女孩交往过 我还没出柜
Fuck, I've never had sex with a girl, I'm in the closet.
我就假装有经验
I'm gonna just pretend like I know what I'm doing."
然后我们再次相吻
And then we kiss again.
到脖子这
And then I find the neck.
我想让导演告诉我怎么做
I wanted the choreography to tell me what to do
教我下一个动作 让我去表达自己
and give me the moves and allow me to express myself,
多亏了Michael Mayer
and thank God for Michael Mayer.
别 -Don't. -推开至身体之外
Yes, but maybe take it away from your body.
不要 -Don't.
就是这样 -Yes. Exactly.
拜托了？Please?
我知道他是gay
I was aware he was gay,
但那是他的个人生活
but that's his own personal life,
他自己做主
and he'll deal with it
等准备好了他会表态的
when it's time for him to deal with it.
如果他想与我交流 我随时欢迎
And if he wants to talk to me, I'll be there for it.
接着我会这样
And then I'll come in here.
我到这里你就阻止我
And then I can come into here and you stop me.
再次拒绝他 停顿
Stop him again. Wait.
不要这样 这很...-Melchi, no, it's just, it's...
这很？罪恶？ -What? Sinful?
成长于这样的宗教环境
Coming from a religious background
周围都是阿曼门诺教♥徒♥
surrounded by the Amish,
让我……
I felt...
让我有种……
...like, I felt...
身份上的羞耻感
ashamed of who I was.
Melchi, no!
不可以 我们不该 -I can't, we're not supposed to.
什么？ -What?
我想也是因为害怕
I also, I guess, was afraid that if...
如果人们知道我的身份
people knew who I was,
他们就不会认可我的演出
they wouldn't find what I was doing believable.
不该什么？
Not supposed to what?
相爱？
Love?
我不清楚 爱真的存在吗？
I don't know. Is there such a thing?
然而Lea和我当时互相依靠
But Lea and I, we were grasping
我们彼此爱着对方
onto each other. We were really in love.
我能感受你的心跳
I hear your heart.
我时刻都能感受到你的气息
I feel you breathing everywhere.
弥漫在雨里 草堆里
The rain, the hay.
我爱他无法自拔
I was so in love with him.
终于我在一个派对角落里
Finally, I cornered him at a party,
问他“你为什么不喜欢我”
and I said to him, "Why don't you love me?
就 喜欢我一点点
Just love me. Why can't you love me?
为什么不约我出去？
Like date me, love me?"
然后我发现他眼中异样的表现 就在那时
And I just saw this look in his eyes, and in that moment,
我懂了
I knew.
♪ I believe
I believe, I believe ♪
♪ Oh, I believe ♪
罪恶？ -Sinful?
不是的 -No.
♪ All will be forgiven
I believe... ♪
我说不清 -I don't know.
那为何？ -Then why?
CHORUS: ♪ I believe, I believe ♪
因为它有益处吗？
Because it's good?
是因为它让我们感到存在于世吗？
Because it makes us feel something?
♪ All will be forgiven ♪
♪ I believe, I believe,
I believe ♪
♪ Oh, I believe ♪
♪ There is love in heaven ♪
♪ I believe, I believe
I believe ♪
不要害怕 -Don't be scared.
♪ Oh, I believe... ♪
那一刻我意识到了 真很沉重
I realized in that moment, this is deep.
而且……
And, um...
我需要保护他
and I need to, like, protect this.
这很严肃
This is intense.
我再也没有问过他的性取向
And I never asked him ever again about his sexuality,
也是因如此 我认为他和我在一起会感到安全
and it was sort of this I think he felt safe with me
Jonathan也明白
because he knew that I knew,
所以我们能成为好友
and we could be best friends.
我们的关系不断发展
And our relationship just grew and grew
直到我们一起演出
to the point where we would do the show
结束后一起回家
and then we would go home together.
♪ There is love in heaven ♪
♪ All will be forgiven ♪
♪ There is love in heaven ♪
♪ All will be forgiven ♪
等等 -Wait!
这里只有我 -It's just me.
♪ There is love in heaven... ♪
仅有我
Just me.
♪ There is love in heaven ♪
♪ I believe ♪
♪ All will be forgiven ♪
♪ There is love in heaven ♪
♪ All will be forgiven ♪
♪ I believe... ♪
♪ There is love in heaven ♪
♪ Peace and joy be with them ♪
♪ All will be forgiven ♪
♪ Harmony and wisdom ♪
♪ All will be forgiven ♪
♪ Peace and joy be with them ♪
♪ Harmony and wisdom ♪
Melchior!
♪ Oh, I believe ♪
这就是为何我和Jonathan走得那么近
That's why Jonathan and I became so close.
就像闺蜜一样
We were so intertwined.
我们在这部剧中表现得非常努力
We made out so hard in this play.
我们大汗淋漓
We would have like sweat,
鼻涕和唾液直接从脸上
and snot was coming out of my nostril,
从鼻子里 舌尖 嘴巴里滑落
and saliva, and tongues and mouths.
Lea就像在啃食我的嘴巴
Lea's like, eat-- her like mouth is on top of my mouth.
铁闺蜜我们是
We were so close.
有一次 我向他展示了我的私处
At one point, I literally showed him my whole vagina.
确有其事
I can confirm that.
他说“我从来没见过女人的”
He was like, "I've never seen
“那个地方”
a woman's vagina before.
“我可以看看你的吗？”“当然可以”
Would you show me?" And I was like, "Sure."
我尤其对地理感兴趣
In particular, I was interested in like
呃 身体部件的位置
the-- the, like, geography
原来和我想的不一样
of the different parts, because I always thought
我以为阴蒂在
that the clitoris was like...
阴♥道♥口的正上方
...like right above the vagina hole.
我拿着一盏台灯
And I took a desk lamp.
她甚至还拿着一盏台灯
And she took a fucking desk lamp.
为他照亮那里 这就是闺蜜
And showed him. That's how close we are.