大男孩清醒路（2018）

他妈的未来两年内
for the next fucking two years.
谁会那么做？ 就为了一辆车？
Who does that? For a car?
-你说的是凯文吗 -是的
-You're talking about Kevin? -Yeah.
所以 他说 你没通过毒品测试 所以我们不能让你保留吉普车
So, he's like, "You failed this drug test. We can't let you keep the jeep."
兄弟 你吸毒了 你知道我在说什么吗
Bro, you did drugs, you know what I'm saying?
你要为你所做的事情负责
Like, take responsibility for what you did.
不 不是这样的
No, that's not it.
不是这样的 兄弟
That's not it, bro.
我不知道该说什么
I don't know what to say, man.
我只想过自己的生活
I just want to live my life.
一切都很好 兄弟
It's all good, man.
但我要告诉你 这里没有什么可做的
I'll tell you what, there is fucking nothing to do up here, though.
是的 我注意到了
Yeah, I've noticed that.
那个Xbox我大概玩了有十亿个小时的时间
That Xbox probably has, like, a billion hours on it right now.
是的
Yeah.
好了 兄弟 我要上路了
All right, brother, I'm gonna hit the road.
-好的 兄弟 -爱你 兄弟
-All right, man. -Love you, dude.
我也爱你
Love you, too.
我永远支持你 兄弟 如果你需要什么
I'm always here for you, man. If you ever need anything,
-打电♥话♥给我就好 -我知道你的电♥话♥号♥码
-just hit me up. -I got your number.
如果你现在需要吃药...
If you need medicine right now...
杜♥鹃♥丸
Cuckoo pill.
瘾君子每天最喜欢的时间 吃药时间
The addict's favorite part of the day. It's medicine time.
拉什 这是你要吃的吗 就一粒？
Rush, is this all you're taking? Just one?
-是的 -每天吃半粒
-Yeah. -"Take half a tablet daily."
是的 我就是吃半粒
Yep. I'm just on half a tablet.
-这本身就是半粒吗 -不 你必须把它切成两粒
-Are these half tablets? -No, you have to cut it in half.
我开始吃抑郁症药物 左洛复 我认为是左洛复
I started depression medication. Zoloft, I think it's Zoloft.
叫左什么的
Something with a Z.
所以我服用了抗抑郁药 因为 没有
So I got on the antidepressants, 'cause, like, there was no...
起起伏伏 就是正常的波动
It was going up, it was going down. You know, normal fluctuation.
就像
It was just like...
我就是再也处理不了了
I just couldn't handle it anymore.
我有些糟糕的想法 杀人 自杀
I had, like, really bad thoughts, homicidal, suicidal.
在我小的时候 我被诊断出临床抑郁症
I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was really young,
但我从来没有真正服药 而是自我治疗 所以
but I never really took medication. I self-medicated instead, so...
现在我就在想 我该怎么做 我不能再自我治疗了 所以
Now I'm like, "What do I do?" I can't self-medicate, so...
我就在想 帮我登记什么 看看行不行
I was like, "Sign me up for something, see how it works."
我很高兴我没有迷失 我被找到了
I'm just glad I'm not lost, and I'm still found.
没人有杰夫的消息 真的 这让我害怕
No one's heard from Jeff, really, so that scares me.
我听说他没有通过一次尿检
I heard he missed a pee test.
我不知道会发生什么 现在发生了什么
So I don't know what's gonna happen, what's going on.
信息MO 22 你所拨♥打♥的号♥码已停用
Message MO 22. The number you have called is no longer in service.
如果您错误地听到这则录音
If you feel you have reached this recording in error,
请核对一下号♥码 重新拨♥打♥
please check the number and dial again.
信息MO 22
Message MO 22.
杰夫的电♥话♥打不通 没有人能联♥系♥上他
两个多月里 他没有参加缓刑报到和强制性药物检查
嗨
Hi.
你需要...
You gotta walk...
-你已经 -如履薄冰 是的 我知道
-You're on... -Thin ice, yeah, I know.
是的 所以
Yeah, so...
全体起立
All rise.
你们可以坐下了
You may be seated.
法官大人 我知道他同意 他做出了一些糟糕的选择
Your Honor. I know that he is in agreement that he made some bad choices,
我认为简单地说
and I think the short of it is that...
因为他做了一些糟糕的选择 他害怕了
because he made a few bad choices, he got scared,
所以没有找我帮忙
and instead of reaching out to help from me,
没有找缓刑官寻求帮助
instead of reaching out to help from probation,
他只是切断了与我们所有人的联♥系♥
he just stopped having contact with all of us.
那么你有什么想说的吗
So you have something you wish to say?
我想向法庭为我的行为道歉
I just want to apologize to the court for my behavior,
我做事的方式 我害怕了
the way I acted out. I got scared.
我要向我的缓刑官道歉 因为我没有和他保持联♥系♥
I apologize to my probation officer for not keeping in contact.
我觉得我让每个人都失望了 我真的很抱歉
I feel like I let everybody down, and I truly am sorry.
我希望在这次缓刑中还能有一次机会
I'd like to have one more chance at this probation.
你愿意坐牢还是更愿意缓刑
Would you prefer being in prison, or would you prefer probation?
法官大人 我想缓刑 我不想进监狱
Your Honor, I prefer probation. I don't wanna go to prison.
那么你必须服从我的命令
Well, you have to follow my orders.
我真的不想进监狱
I definitely don't wanna go to prison.
-听着 这些都是严肃的指控 -是的 法官大人
-Listen, these are serious charges. -Yes, sir.
现在 如果你还想和其他囚犯混的话
Now, if you like hanging out with other prisoners,
我们可以为你安排
we can make that arrangement for you.
-你明白吗？ -明白 法官大人
-Do you understand that? -Yes, Your Honor.
如果你愿意的话 我今天就可以接受你的尿检
I can go pee today if you like me to.
好的 我会给你缓刑
All right, I'm going to grant probation.
我也会惩戒你30天
I'm going to sanction you for 30 days.
好的 先生
Yes, sir.
-好的 谢谢 -不客气
- All right. Thank you. - You're welcome.
-《美国疯狂》怎么样 -你看过肖恩·斯派瑟的视频吗
-What about Mad TV? -Did you see that Sean Spicer stuff?
我看过没有？ 没有 杰克 我在戒毒所 我他妈的没看过
Did I see it? No, Jack, I'm in rehab. I didn't fucking see it.
-我看过 -我把它发给你
-I saw it. -I'mma send that to you.
看 我头上的白头发 我把它命名为亚当
Look, this gray hair on my head, I named it Adam.
-你要把它拔掉吗 -你知道我有多少根白头发吗
-You gonna pull it out? -You know how many gray hairs I have?
我接到一个电♥话♥ 是亚当打的
I get a call, and it was Adam,
他敞开心扉 他说他在吸食海♥洛♥因♥
and he just opened up and he said he's been doing heroin,
不想
and didn't wanna...
不想一直这样下去
Didn't wanna keep going that way.
你知道 他有一个朋友因为吸毒过量而死了
You know, had a friend that had passed away due to an overdose,
他就是不知道该怎么办
and he just didn't know what to do.
所以我把他带回来了
So I brought him back.
你好吗 兄弟
What's up, man?
你过得怎么样 兄弟
How are you doing, bro?
-好多了 -嗯 你来了
-Been better. -Well, you're here.
-现在很冷 -欢迎回家
-Pretty cold right now. -Welcome home.
谢谢 我很感激你带我回来 兄弟
Thanks. I appreciate you taking me back, man.
我告诉过你我们会一直支持你 我们永远在你身边
I told you we'd be here for you. We're always here for you.
第一次戒毒并不总是一定会成功的 兄弟
It doesn't always work first time down the path, man.
不 不
No, no.
问问这里的所有人
Ask all these guys, man.
我觉得我当时就是没想好
I think I just had the wrong ideas.
也许我就应该在这里待着 虽说也不是最好的办法
Probably should've stuck around here. Not the best idea.
绝对不应该回惠灵
Definitely shouldn't have gone back to Wheeling.
是的 不应该回惠灵
No, shouldn't have gone back to Wheeling.
也不应该接受那份工作
Shouldn't have took that job, either.
全都是毒品和乱七八糟的事
It was just all drugs and bullshit.
你知道 有时候 要从艰难的方式中学到教训
You knew that, but sometimes, you gotta learn the hard way.
对 我就是必须经历烈火的审判
Yeah, I just had to trial by fire.
幸运的是 火没有把你完全吞噬
Fortunately, the fire didn't burn you all the way.
是的 它没有
No, it did not.
它把你烤焦了 我们把你救出来了
It scorched you. Well, we'll get you out.
星期天 我在家里
Sunday I was at the house,
我收到一条短♥信♥说 亚当已经离开雅各布之梯了
and I get a text message saying, "Adam has left Jacob's Ladder."
他很坚决 说主意已定
He was adamant, said his mind was made up.
他不想进行戒毒治疗
He did not want to go through detox,
他说 “我很感谢我被邀请回到这里
and he said, "I appreciate the offer to come back here,
但我还没准备好戒毒”
but I'm just not ready to quit getting high,"
他就收拾好行李 走了
and he just packed his bags, walked out.
我不吸很难受 我在那里住了两个晚上
I was dope sick, and I was there for two nights.
我根本睡不着觉 我觉得我根本不在乎
I couldn't sleep at all, and I felt like I didn't give a fuck.
我不知道 海♥洛♥因♥
I don't know, heroin,
它完全是另一个层次的
it's just a whole 'nother level.
除非 我也不是纵容别人去试
Unless, and I'm not ever condoning somebody gotta try it,
但如果你试了 你会知道...
but if you try it, you know...
你会喜欢的
you're gonna like it.
是海♥洛♥因♥
It's heroin.
这是世界上最糟糕的毒品 因为它太棒了
It's the worst drug on the planet, because it's so good.
你知道 如果海♥洛♥因♥很糟糕 人们是不会上瘾的
You know, people don't get addicted to heroin because it sucks.
我妈妈讨厌我住在这里
You know, my mom, like, hates me being here.
当她发现我在吸毒
You know, when she found out I was using,
伤了她的心
it broke her heart.