文明社会（2023）

原谅我不文明的用语
Excuse my French.
男人到底有什么好的？我说的对吧？
I mean, what is it with men? Am I right?
我虽然不是情感专家，但我感觉男人总是成事不足败事有余
I'm no expert, but they just seem to destroy things.
经济，臭氧层，热带雨林 - 继续
The economy, the ozone, the rain forests. - Keep going.
我就是...我也说不清
I just... I don't know.
就好像整个宇宙都在围着他们转
It's like the whole universe revolves around them,
屈服于他们的意愿
bending to their will.
也许宇宙也是时候换个屈服对象了
Maybe it's time the universe bends to someone else.
如果你有空出来喝杯咖啡或是随便聊聊天，我会很开心的
If you're ever free for a coffee or, like, an informal chat, I'd love that.
致上我的问候，瑞雅·可汗
Warm regards, Ria Khan.
莉娜，莉娜
Lena. Lena.
这是怎么回事？
What's going on?
瑞雅，快过来打个招呼
Ria, come. Say your salaams.
瑞雅，进来坐下吧
Ria, come in. Hmm.
你好啊瑞雅，在学校还好吗？
Hi, Ria. How was school?
瑞雅？
Ria?
瑞雅
Ria.
瑞雅
Ria.
第三章
猎妻行动
这位是萨利姆·沙
This is Salim Shah.
他今年32岁，是个风云人物，遗传学家，正在新建一间高级实验室
He's 32, big shot, geneticist, setting up some fancy new lab.
他同时也是导致莉娜前途一片黑暗的幕后黑手
He's also the mastermind behind derailing Lena's future.
好色又讨人厌的流氓
The lecherous, loathsome cad.
死鱼脸
The poo-face.
姐♥妹♥们♥
Sisters,
这比第二幕会出现的波折要严重得多
this is more than just act two wobbles.
莉娜被这个动机不纯的变♥态♥给洗♥脑♥了
Lena has been brainwashed by this wife-hunting maniac
他把她看作是战利品，而不是伴侣
who's chosen her to be his trophy bride.
莉娜她心烦意乱的 以至于她无法看清事情的真♥相♥
And she is too sad and mind-shat to see what is going on.
所以只能由我们来揭开这场婚礼虚伪的面纱
So that leaves it to us to break off this sham wedding.
谁跟我站在同一战线？
Who's with me?
打倒男权社会！
Down with the patriarchy!
我们要彻底摧毁它！
Let's decimate this mother!
没错！
Huzzah!
说得对！
Huzzah!
好，所以有什么计划？
Cool, so what's the plan?
第一阶段
Phase one.
外交手段
Diplomacy.
外交手段
Diplomacy.
所以就是...
So, like,
聊天？
chatting?
对，比如不停地唠叨，要措辞强硬
Yeah, like, verbiage. Strongly worded verbiage.
令行禁止之类的
Cease and desist, etcetera, etcetera.
外交手段！
Diplomacy!
外交手段！
Diplomacy!
这样很不好，老爸，非常不好
This is uncool, Ba. Highly uncool.
莉娜现在脑子都不清醒
Lena is not in her right mind.
瑞雅，如今想给你们女孩子找个如意郎君真的不容易
Ria, it's hard for you girls to find a suitable match these days
因为你们现在提倡自♥由♥恋爱
because you're operating in a free market.
而且你不应该把这事理解成“哦不，莉娜被包办婚姻了”，不是这样的
And you shouldn't see it like, "Oh, no. Lena's got an arranged marriage." No.
你应该把它看作是，莉娜把寻找良配的任务外包给了我们
You should see it like Lena has outsourced the search for a suitable match to us,
这样我们就可以进行必要的尽职调查
so that we then carry out the necessary due diligence,
为她节省不必要的情感投入
saving her from investing any unnecessary emotional capital
同时使她的利益得到最大化
whilst providing her with a maximum yield.
啥？
What?
听着，我不是什么大坏蛋，好吗？
Listen, I'm not some kind of big villain, okay?
我没有不让她去读艺术院校吧？
I let her go to art school, didn't I?
这已经比绝大多数母亲都要开明了
That's more than any of the other mothers.
你知道为了这事 我给自己惹了多少麻烦吗？
Do you know how much shit I got for that?
别瞎说，他很适合她
No. He is good for her.
恕我直言，老妈
With all due respect, Ma,
你这是一派胡言
that is a load of balls.
瑞雅，你反应过度了
Ria, you're being dramatic.
我反应过度？我反应过度了？
I'm being dramatic? I'm being dramatic?
没错
Yeah.
你和这家伙认识了还不到一个月
You've been seeing this guy for not even a month,
你就要嫁给他了 - 我知道
and you're marrying him. - I know.
太扯淡了，你这才叫夸张
That's dramatic. You're being dramatic.
反正他要在搬去新加坡之前结婚
Yeah, well, he needs to get married before the move to Singapore.
新加坡？你要搬去新加坡？
Singapore? You're moving to Singapore?
嗯...
Yeah, well.
总比待在这强吧
Beats being here.
哇哦，所以你是在玩简·奥斯汀那一套咯
Wow. So you're doing a Jane Austen then.
厉害了 - 我跟简·奥斯汀不一样
Nice. - I'm not doing a Jane Austen.
在我看来，毁掉自己的生活 嫁给一个跟达西先生一样
Well, throwing your life away to marry some rich Mr. Darcy wanker
有钱的渣男，听上去很像19世纪的行事作风呢
sounds pretty 1800s retro, if you ask me.
如果你没法支持我，那就不要干涉我的生活了
If you can't support me, then you need to stay out of my life.
莉娜 - 出去
Lena. - Get out.
我就知道外交手段没用，外交什么时候起过作用？
I knew diplomacy wasn't gonna work. When has it ever worked?
就是，人的本性就是头脑简单
Yeah. Humanity's pretty basic.
第二阶段
Phase two.
我们要找到萨利姆的黑料
We need to find some dirt on Salim.
那应该很简单，他可是有钱的小白脸
That should be easy. Pretty little rich boy.
让我在他的笔记本电脑上操作20分钟，一下就能挖出来
Give me 20 minutes with his laptop, and I'll nail him.
小菜一碟 - 好极了
Easy. - Nice.
我们要怎么搞到他的笔记本？
How are we gonna get his laptop?
他每天下班之后，都会在接莉娜之前去健身房♥锻炼
He goes to the gym every day after work before he picks up Lena.
好的，那我们就撬开他健身房♥的储物柜
All right. So we break into his gym locker,
偷走他的笔记本，把里面的东西都下载下来，揭开这个渣男的真面目
steal his lappy, download everything and whistleblow this bitch.
我们需要潜入更衣室
We'll need to get into the changing room.
男子更衣室
The men's changing room.
我们需要进行伪装
We'll need disguises.
我看上去怎么样？
How do I look?
可以
Yeah.
很好
Good.
很有男子气概
Virile.
萨尔，你好吗？ - 嘿，你好呀
Sal, how you doing? - Hey. How are you?
老鹰已经着陆
The eagle has landed.
再说一遍，老鹰已经着陆
I repeat. The eagle has landed.
只要记住，挺直腰杆，挺胸收腹，大摇大摆走进去...二三四
Just remember, back straight, tits in, and swagger-- Two, three, four.
哇哦，抱歉
Whoa. Sorry.
到手了
Bingo.
老鹰在跑步机上
The eagle is on the treadmill.
再说一遍，老鹰在跑步机上
I repeat. The eagle is on the treadmill.
你不用每句话都重复一遍的，白♥痴♥
You don't have to repeat everything, numbnuts.
收到，球袋（俚语中指阴囊）
Copy that, ball bag.
好了伙计们
Okay, people.
目标已进入我视线范围内
Target is in sight.
记住，时间就是金钱
Remember, time is money.
快点！ - 知道了
Hurry! - All right.
搞定
Here we go.
五分钟就好 - 等等
Five minutes. - Wait.
等一下
Wait a minute.
他正在移♥动♥中
He's on the move.
该死的 - 怎么了？
Bollocks. - What?
要30分钟了
Thirty minutes.
30分钟？你这话是什么意思？
Thirty minutes? What do you mean?
就是字面上的意思啊
I mean what I said.
我还以为你是搞技术的
I thought you were the techy one.
我确实是搞技术的啊
I am the techy one.
成也萧何，败也萧何呀
Well, live by the sword, die by the sword.
瑞雅，你听到了吗？瑞雅？
Ria, are you hearing this? Ria?
瑞雅，至少还需要30分钟
Ria, it's gonna be at least 30 minutes.
重复一遍，还需要30分钟
Repeat. Thirty minutes.
他要回更衣室了
He's heading back to the changing rooms.
我们得中止任务
We need to abort mission.
不行不行 - 行动中止，行动中止
No. No. No. - Abort. Abort.
行动中止！
Abort!
不，行动继续
No. Keep going.
萨利姆
Salim.