我的妈妈，简（2025）

did you and Dad ever talk about Nelson?
我是说，这事肯定提到过吧
I mean, it must have come up.
如果提到了
If it came up,
他会说：“我是她的父亲
he would say, "I'm her father.
我是她的父亲。”就这样
I'm her father." Period.
而且无论我对这件事有什么疑问
And no matter what question I had about it,
我都想尊重Mickey，让他来
I wanted to give Mickey the respect of being the one
亲口说出他所知道的一切
who actually said whatever he knew.
在Mariska出生时
When Mariska was born,
她的母亲Jayne Mansfield和我去了匈牙利
her mother Jayne Mansfield and I went to Hungary
我们把这个消息告诉了我的父母
and we announced it to my parents
我母亲非常想给她取名叫“Mariska”
and my mother wanted to name her, so much, Mariska.
那时她就成了“Mariska”
And that's when she become Mariska.
她是真正的匈牙利人
She's a real Hungarian.
Mickey是个伟大的父亲
Mickey was a great father,
他对你满怀爱意
and he was so full of love for you.
但我觉得Mickey很擅长屏蔽痛苦
But I think Mickey was quite capable of shutting out pain.
我想他在对待Jayne时常常如此
Which I think he did a lot with Jayne.
所以他说：“Mariska是我的女儿”
So he said, "Mariska's my daughter."
而他一直这样说，直到他去世的那一天
And he said that until the day he passed.
“她用胳膊肘捅了我，‘把那个意大利人给我弄来’
"She nudged me, 'Get me that Italian.'
我和老板说了说，
I spoke with the owner,
不久，Irwin就走到Jayne的桌旁
and soon, Irwin approached Jayne's table,
带着那位英俊的意大利人
the handsome Italian in tow.
他介绍那位意大利人叫Nelson Sardelli
He introduced the Italian as Nelson Sardelli,
是一位在街那头俱乐部
a performer who was appearing
演出的艺人
at another club down the street.
虽然谈话并没有多么重要的内容
Although nothing of great consequence was said,
但对Jayne而言，那是一次一见钟情
it was a significant first meeting to Jayne.
‘那个人，’ 我们离开俱乐部时她说
'That,' she said, as we left the club,
‘将会成为我孩子的父亲
'is going to be the father of my bambino.
我那美丽的意大利宝宝
My beautiful little Italian baby
是我一直渴望的”
I've always wanted.'"
你觉得她会如何看待你的书？
What do you think she would think of your book?
嗯，她可能会对书里的某些内容有疑问
Well, she would've had some questions about it.
“你干嘛非得那样写？那一段你应该删掉。”
"Why did you have to say that? You should've left that out."
你认为关于我生父的故事
Do you think the story of my biological father
是你可以讲的吗？
was yours to tell?
就我所知道的部分，是的
What I knew of it, yes.
当你写它的时候
When you wrote it,
你有没有想过这会如何 影响到我的家人？
did you think about how it would impact my family?
没有
No.
如果有人因为这本书而受到伤害，我很抱歉
I am sorry if people were hurt by the book,
但它忠实于我所掌握的事实
but it was truthful to the knowledge that I had.
我从没想过要伤害任何人
But I never set out to hurt anybody,
如果我伤到了谁，我很抱歉
and I'm sorry if I did.
重讲我自己的故事
Reclaiming my own story,
这对我而言就是全部的意义
that is what this is about for me.
我花了35年试图把这个故事藏起来
I'd spent 35 years trying to hide that story
处于对我的父亲尊重
to honor my dad.
但我还意识到
But something that I've also realized
有时保守秘密
is that sometimes keeping a secret
并不能成全任何人
doesn't honor anyone.
而我花了很久才明白这一点
And it's taken me a long time to figure that out.
我一直在想……
I've been thinking about...
我们的旅程，这段很漫长的旅程
our journey, our very long journey.
嗯
Yeah.
它的起伏不定和复杂程度
And the ups and downs of it and the complications
以及它带来的喜悦
and the joys of it
还有悲伤和一切
and the sadness and everything.
然后……
And...
我想说，你们为这一天等了很久了
I would say you've waited a long time for this day.
嗯
Yeah.
我记得我知道自己还有一个妹妹的时候
I remember when I found out that I had a sister.
我想那是在初中
I think it was junior high school.
我们家非常自♥由♥
We were a super open family,
但他办公桌上有一个上了锁的抽屉
but there was one locked drawer in his desk.
其实，说实话，你多少总是会知道
I mean, the truth is, you kind of always know
当有事瞒着你时
when there's a truth,
因为为了隐瞒这个真♥相♥
because anything that's not the truth
要撒很多谎
is what you're doing around it.
所以，即便我还小，我就知道……我也说不清
And so even when I was little,I just knew... I don't know.
我的意思是，就是有点什么
I mean, there was something.
有一天我把锁打开了
So one day I get the lock open,
我把抽屉拉了出来
and I pull the drawer out
我看到后面有一个信封
and I see one envelope in the back
是你姥姥写来的
and it was from your grandmother
就在你妈妈去世之后
right after your mom had died.
上面写着：“亲爱的Nelson……”
And it said, "Dear Nelson..."
我要告诉你，11岁的我觉得它是这么写的
I'm going to tell you what,11-year-old me thinks it said.
好，好
Yeah, yeah.
基本上是：“亲爱的Nelson，
Was basically, "Dear Nelson,
我知道你有孩子
I know you have children.
我相信他们都很好
I'm sure they're fine,
但这里有个很棒的孩子也是你的
but there's this amazing child who is yours.
她比你的其他孩子还要好……”
She's better than your other children..."
这就是我的意思，我知道信里并不是这么写的
And that's what I mean by,I know it doesn't say that
但我当时读着它，里面写着：“她是你的家人”
but I was reading and it said, "She is your family."
于是我拿着那封信冲进厨房♥
And so I storm into the kitchen with the letter
一边哭一边说：“这是什么？”
and I'm crying and I say, "What is this?"
他立刻变得很严肃，然后说，
And he gets really serious and he says,
“我不认识这个小女孩
"I don't know this little girl.
这个小女孩……”我要哭了
This little girl...",I'm gonna cry now.
他说：“这个小女孩有一个父亲
He says, "This little girl has a father
他像我爱你一样爱她”
who loves her like I love you.
这个小女孩是安全的”
This little girl is safe."
“而且即便她没事，她也刚刚失去了母亲，
"And if she is okay, she has just lost her mother,
你不能把她唯一认识的家人夺走”
you cannot take the only family she knows."
那是他们的决定，这就是他们保持沉默的原因
And that was their decision and that's why they stayed quiet.
这对我来说说得通
And that made sense to me,
所以我就把这事暂且搁在心里
and so I kind of tucked that away.
然后，很多年以后，我遇见了你
And then, many years later, I met you.
我记得，那天是你的生日派对
And I remember, it was your birthday party,
我和爸爸在那儿
Dad and I were there
Katie Couric也在，她不停地问
and Katie Couric was there and she kept going,
“所以你们和Mariska是什么关系？”
"So you're related to Mariska how?"
我们就会说：“不，我们是家里的朋友”
and we would go, "No, we're family friends."
她转了一圈又回来，说：“我没听清你们怎么有关系的”
She'd walk around, come back, "I missed how you're related."
我记得我给你打电♥话♥，说
And I remember calling you, going,
“所以……”
“所以我们得谈谈”
- "So..." - "So we need to talk."
“我们的世界相互碰撞了，我们要怎么处理？
"How do we manage our worlds colliding?
我们该怎么应对？”
And how do we manage that?"
但是我……那件事实在是太……
But I... That's something that's so...
太难了，我当时甚至没有……
That's so hard, like, that I didn't have the...
我想，我当时没有足够的智慧去说：“这不该由你来承担”
wisdom, I guess, at the time, to say, "This is not yours to carry."
我的需求太强烈了
My need was so big,
我想尊重Mickey的那种需要太强烈了
my need for this to honor Mickey was so huge.
但事实是，我错了。
But the fact is, I was wrong.
因为这些年你们不得不过着
Because you guys had to live all these years
背负秘密的生活，而你们又如此宽容
with the secret, and you were so generous,
对我如此宽容
so generous to me.
所以……谢谢你们
So... thank you.
我有个问题
I have a question.
你对这件事有什么感受
How do you feel about the fact
我们要把整件事都坦白说出来？
that we're coming clean with the whole story?
就是说，这将会……
Like, this is going to...
现在一切都公开了，没有秘密了
Now it's out there. There's no more secrets.
如今发生的这一切
All this that is happening now,
对我来说，仿佛是……
all this, to me, is like as if...
某种更强大、更高的力量
a stronger and higher power