我的妈妈，简（2025）

大约一小时前，几位嘉宾来到了我们的后台
About an hour ago, a big crowd walked in our stage door,
正是Jayne Mansfield（和她的家人）
and it was Jayne Mansfield.
她来了，可爱的Jayne Mansfield
Here she is, the lovely Jayne Mansfield.
我感觉自己像鹅妈妈，有这么多孩子
I feel like Mother Goose I have so many children.
他们都叫什么名字？他是谁？
What are their names? Who's that?
这是Miklós
This is Miklós.
嗨，Miklós
Hi, Miklós.
Maria...
什么？你是谁？
- Maria... - Pardon? Who are you?
这小家伙，他叫什么名字？
This little fella, what's his name?
你叫什么名字？
What is your name?
Zolie!
什么？
- Zolie! - What?
孩子，问到你再说话哦
Get your own show, kid, will ya?
亲爱的，你叫什么名字？
What's your name, darling?
Maria.
我觉得，一旦你有了孩子
I feel that if you bear children,
你的首要任务就是孩子
your first obligation is to your children,
不管你是电影明星还是洗碗工
whether you're a movie star or whether you wash dishes.
如果我的事业出了问题
If anything ever happens to my career,
如果我遭遇了车祸，
if I'm in an auto accident,
如果我毁容了，如果我失去了双腿……
if my face is scarred, if I lose my legs...
如果有任何不幸发生
if any terrible mishap happens,
（我希望）我的孩子们永远都会得到照顾
my children will always be cared for.
三岁时，我妈妈去世了
I was three years old when my mom died.
我其实几乎不记得她
And I don't really have any memories of her.
我记得有一次，我在吃一碗麦片……
I can remember one time eating a bowl of cereal...
她摸了摸我的头发
and I remember her touching my hair.
但我不知道那是不是一段真实记忆
But I don't know if that's a real memory
还是我因为希望它发生而编造出来的
or something that I made up because I wished it happened.
在她去世之后
After she passed away,
一直留在我心里的一个瞬间，是当
a moment that's always stayed with me is when
我找到了我的婴儿纪念册
I found my baby book.
我的兄弟姐妹都有一本
All of my siblings had one,
可当我把我的翻开时
but when I looked through mine
上面几乎是空的
it was practically empty.
所以，除了没有记忆之外
So on top of having no memories,
我觉得这更让我失落
I think it just gave me a sense of more loss
就像我心里有个小小的洞
It was like this little hole in my heart.
随着我长大，爸爸会对我说
As I got older, my dad would say to me,
“别看那些关于你母亲的书
"Don't read the books about your mother.
别看那些书
Don't read the books.
你没必要读那些书”
You don't need to read those books."
他说那些书充满了谎言
He said that they were full of lies,
充斥着捕风捉影的胡说八道
full of sensational bullshit.
都是他不想让我去面对的东西
Things that he didn't want me to have to deal with.
所以我照他的话去做，从来没读过那些书
So I did everything he said and I never read the books.
在某个阶段，我开始背负很多羞耻感
At a certain point, I began to carry a lot of shame
关于她性感符号♥的形象
about her image as a sex symbol
以及随之而来的抉择
and all the choices that came with that.
所以我把关于母亲的念头
So I pushed the idea of my mom
在我的生活中越推越远
further and further away from my life.
但随着我的事业发展，我开始收到粉丝来信
But as my career grew, I started getting fan mail
来自那些知道我是Jayne Mansfield女儿的人
from people who knew I was Jayne Mansfield's daughter.
有的人认识她，或者与她有过接触
Maybe they knew her or they had an interaction
或者他们有一张合影
or they had a photo.
还……还有很多
And... it was just a lot.
“亲爱的Hargitay女士，我有一份节目单
"Dear Ms. Hargitay, I have a program
来自 《绅士爱美人》
from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
你母亲在其中主演”
in which your mother starred."
“亲爱的Mariska，我和你父母是至交”
"Dear Mariska, I was a close friend of your mom and dad."
“你好，Mariska，Jayne就住在我隔壁
"Hello, Mariska. Jayne lived next door
每天午后都会练小提琴”
and would practice her violin every afternoon."
“亲爱的Hargitay女士，
"Dear Ms. Hargitay,
这些你母亲的遗物应该属于你
you should have this memorabilia of your mom.
其中包括你的出生启事和其他东西”
They include your birth announcement and other stuff."
我把寄给我的所有东西都保存了下来
I kept everything that was sent to me,
我想，那算是一个开始
and I think that was sort of the beginning.
我开始越来越想念我的妈妈
My mom became someone that I thought more and more about.
在疫情期间，我甚至给她办了一个生日派对
During the pandemic, I even threw her a birthday party.
生日快乐，亲爱的Jayne
Happy birthday, dear Jayne
很少有人给去世的母亲
Not a lot of people throw birthday parties
举办生日派对
for their dead mothers,
但这其中有一种魔力
but there was a sort of magic to it.
从那开始，我开始觉得
It was around that time that I began to feel like
我真的想去了解她
I actually wanted to get to know her.
不是那个作为性感符号♥的Jayne Mansfield
Not as the sex symbol Jayne Mansfield,
而只是作为Jayne
but just as Jayne,
我妈妈Jayne
my mom Jayne.
我的爸爸，是我的精神支柱，他在2006年去世了
My dad, who was my rock, died in 2006.
有很多问题，我从未问过他
And there were so many questions that I never asked him.
我也很少和兄弟姐妹认真聊过
I've also never really talked to my siblings much
他们各自的经历
about their experiences.
但现在我想了解她
But I want to understand her now.
因为那是我人生的一部分
Because it's a part of my life,
也是我生命的一部分
and a part of me,
而这一部分一直像被锁了起来
that's always felt locked away.
抱歉，让我把这个放这里NSorry, let me bring this in for a sec.
我喜欢上面那块木头，挺不错的
I like the wood on top of that. It's nice.
定制的
嗯
- Custom. - Yeah.
准备好了吗？
Ready?
那我们到这边来，小心
So we'll go over here. Careful.
好
Okay.
我们像姥姥Dan那样亲一下，记得吗？
Let's kiss like Danmama. Remember?
我姥姥就是这样亲人的
That's how my grandmother used to kiss.
准备好了吗？
Ready?
好
Okay.
准备好了吗？
Are we good?
我觉得……
I mean...
我们尽可能准备好了，好到
As good as we're gonna be. - Good as we--
我都不知道你是怎么让我同意做这个的
I don't know how the hell you got me to do this!
想把你变成大明星
Trying to make you a--,Trying to make you a big star
靠你那双蓝汪汪的大眼睛
with those baby blues.
那不可能
That's not gonna happen.
所以
So.
我们到这一步了
你准备好了吗？
- Here we are. - You ready?
是的，准备好了
Yes, we are.
我们来这儿了
We're here.
我等这一天很久了
I've been waiting for this day for a long time.
首先
And first of all,
我想说谢谢你愿意做这件事
I just wanna say thank you for doing this,
我觉得我现在有点紧张
and I feel like I'm nervous now
因为我知道你并不喜欢
because I know that you're not a fan
你知道的，谈这些事情
of, you know, talking about this stuff.
所以，我们就看看会聊到哪里、感觉如何
So, we'll see where it goes and see how we feel,
如果你不想谈某些事，就别谈
and if you don't want to talk about anything, don't.
谢谢你，Marish，谢谢你来问我
Thank you, Marish. Thank you for asking me.
这绝对是我的荣幸，你问的任何问题，
It's an honor, definitely, and anything you ask,
我都会尽力回答你的
you know I'm there for you.
谢谢
Thank you.
我先想聊聊我们的童年
I first want to talk about our childhood a little bit.
因为你有那么多回忆，我很羡慕
Because you have all these memories, and I'm envious of that.
我没有这些回忆
I don't have memories.
嗯，你……你的……
Well, you... your...
能暂停一下吗？
Can you cut for a minute?
我想
I guess,
与其说有具体的记忆
rather than have, like, memories,
不如说更像是记得一种感觉
it feels more like I remember an essence.
像是一个人在时的感觉，如果你明白我的意思
Like a nuance of the person, if that makes sense.
我记得她在时的感觉……
I remember her presence...
也记得那段时间的一些感受
and I remember some of the feelings of that time.