黑衣人：全球追缉

You see, I have a very strict
"不得与黑衣人交易"
"no Men in Black" policy.
天呐
Oh, God.
我不怪你
I don't blame you.
谁会想让那些混♥蛋♥进来插一脚
Who'd want those assholes coming in here?
黑衣人 要我说他们是黑衣蠢货
Men in Black. The Morons in Black, if you ask me.
一群傻♥逼♥ 我没说错吧
What a bunch of dicks. Am I right?
一粒老鼠屎就能毁掉一锅汤...
All it takes is one bad apple to spoil any environment...
各位别动手
Stop it, guys.
我是黑衣人 你个切鲁败类
I am MIB, you Cerulian scum.
我要说 你这个小俱乐部烂透了
And FYI, your little club here sucks.
你要从实招来
You're gonna give me everything.
供应商 卖♥♥家 你的整个分销网
Suppliers, sellers, your whole network.
你的好运耗尽了
Your luck run out.
你死定了
You're already dead.
这里只有一个人有解药
Only one person here has the antidote.
艾米丽 亲爱的
Emily, sweetheart.
拜托 你要什么我都给你
Please, I'll... I'll give you whatever you want.
拜托 什么都行
Please. Anything you want.
什么都行吗
Anything I want?
开往伦敦的特快列车已到站
The express train to London has arrived.
我们将继续开往巴黎 斯德哥尔摩
With continuing service to Paris, Stockholm,
米兰 罗马 马德里
Milan, Rome, Madrid.
在更衣室逮到他
Caught him in the locker room.
我就知道那孩子对自己用了记忆消除器
I knew that kid was neuralyzing himself.
我跟他说 "用太多次会瞎的"
I told him, "Do that too much, and you'll go blind."
对吧
Right?
有人想来点零嘴吗
Who could go for a nosh?
我想来个熏牛肉三明治
I'd like a nice pastrami sandwich.
要加很多融化的奶酪
With lots of melted cheese.
来自纽约的特快列车即将到站
Now arriving, express train from New York.
最后一次通知 飞往猫眼星云的2112航♥班♥即将起飞
Last call for Flight 2112 to the Cat's Eye Nebula.
欢迎 探员M
Welcome, Agent M.
请前往新探员说明会报到
Please report to New Agent Orientation.
准许进入 探员M
Access granted, Agent M.
每小时一班 12号♥登机口
...every hour from Gate 12.
借过 女士
Excuse me, ma'am.
总是出乎意料
It's never who you think it is.
不 这个完全说得通
Oh, no. That one makes sense.
找到我们的人就是你
So you're the one who found us.
是的
Yes, I am.
我是T 老大T
I'm T. High T.
你就是...
Yeah. You're...
-我是这个马戏团的老大 -嗯
- I run this little circus. - Yeah.
欢迎你 M
Welcome, M.
很高兴认识你 长官
It's nice to meet you, sir.
O告诉我新人值得期待
O told me to expect some great things.
-你不会失望的 -很好
- And great things shall you get. - Good.
往那边走
Right through there.
你好啊
Hi, you.
等等 等等 别碰他
Wait, wait, wait! Don't touch him!
天呐
Oh, God.
我抓到他了 你们...
I got him, I got him. You guys...
我抓到他了 我抓到他了
I got him. I got him.
修一下 修一下
Change it, change it.
好了 伙计
All right, buddy.
来试试这个
All right. Drink this.
小心点 弄坏了就要付钱买♥♥
Careful. You break it, you buy it.
你们留着吧
Keep it. Keep it.
送你们了
On me.
我们要见女王
We need to see the queen.
好的
Yes.
有访客
You have visitors.
向女王禀报你们的来意
State your business with the queen.
我们要一个人死
We need someone to die.
仙女座II条约第6C条明确指出
As clearly stated in Section 6C of the Treaty of Andromeda II,
我们不杀加贝边人
we do not kill Jababians
也不会参与谋杀行径
nor participate in the murder thereof.
没有商量余地
This is nonnegotiable.
好吧 有一点商量余地
Well, it's slightly negotiable.
早
Morning.
我想找一台又旧又破的废物机器
I'm in the market for a useless, old, broken-down machine.
你有吗
What do you got?
你别想惹我生气 H
You're not gonna get a rise out of me, H.
有红色跳格键的帝国打字机
It's the Imperial with the red tab.
别落后好吗
Do try to keep up.
谢谢你 查理
Thank you, Charlie.
这是以前的传送门站
That's the old portal depot.
第一次大型外星人移♥民♥的现场
Site of the First Great Alien Migration.
等等 埃菲尔是黑衣人探员吗
Wait, so Eiffel was an MIB agent?
首批探员之一
One of the first.
他帮助了很多来地球
He helped so many intergalactic refugees
寻求庇护的星际难民
seeking protection here on Earth.
如果你仔细看
If you look closely,
就能看到我的祖父母也在照片中
you can see my grandma and my grandpa in that picture.
真美
So beautiful.
-给你 亲爱的 -谢谢
- Here you are, dear. - Thank you.
那家伙是怎么回事
What's up with that guy?
内尔琳恩
Nerlene!
抱歉
Sorry.
他实在是太诱人了
He's just so yummy.
-他是谁 -H
- Who is he? - H.
这栋楼里最优秀的探员而已
Only the best agent in the building.
他曾经仅用他的智慧和七系原子枪
He saved the world once with nothing but his wits
就拯救了世界
and a Series-7 De-Atomizer.
他拯救过世界吗
He saved the world?
从谁手上拯救的
From what?
蜂兽
The Hive.
蜂兽
The Hive.
伙计 帮我个忙
Hey, Guy, do me a favor.
-帮我处理来电 -乐意之至
- Handle my calls. - Oh, love to.
你要去哪
Where are you going?
去做点调查
To do some homework.
马拉喀什发生了一起非常可怕的事件
An awful, terrible incident in Marrakesh.
北非办事处正在调查
The North Africa office is investigating.
至于其它事宜
And in other business,
H终于决定大驾光临了
H has decided to grace us with his presence after all.
很抱歉 长官
Apologies, sir.
我昨天工作到很晚 大家早上好
I was working late. Morning, everyone.
我也是 其实是在收拾你的烂摊子
So was I. Actually cleaning up after your mess.
谢谢你了
Thank you for that.
你应该瞧瞧我今天早上收拾的烂摊子
You should've seen the mess I was cleaning up this morning.
这完全是未经批准的行动 长官
It was a totally unsanctioned op, sir,
需要两支控制小队和一整支记忆消除小组
requiring two containment units and a full neuralyzer squad.
我觉得不是
I doubt that, right?
我更想从宏观的角度来看待这件事
I prefer to look at this from a macro point of view,
不要太纠结于细节
not get bogged in the details.
反正坏人死了 所以嘛
The bad guy's dead, so, you know.
请坐 最后一件事
Take a seat, please. One last item.
一位加贝边王室成员
A member of the Jababian royal family
在前往半人马座A星途中要作停留
has a layover on his way to Centaurus A.
丑八怪万格斯
Vungus the Ugly.
继承了头衔
Inherited the title.
信不信由你 万格斯其实是个美男子
Believe it or not, Vungus here is the looker in the crowd.
全息影像总会让人重九斤
Holograms always add 10 pounds.
加贝边社会不允许某些言行失仪
Jababian society doesn't allow for certain indiscretions.
简而言之 他想玩得开心
In short, he wants to be shown a good time.
我们可以拒绝 但加贝边人的采矿船
We could say no, but Jababian mining vessels
会把我们碾成银河系的星尘
would grind us into galactic dust.
长官 这有点讽刺 想想我们过去
Some irony there, sir, if you think that we used to, uh,
是保护地球免受宇宙中的人♥渣♥侵扰