蜗牛回忆录（2024）

a lonely person's glitter.
随著我的无聊感越来越严重...
As my boredom worsened...
...我发现自己有了新的衝动。
...I found myself having new urges.
（漫不经心地哼哼）
(HUMS NONCHALANTLY)
我把盗窃癖加到了我的爱好清单中。
I added kleptomania to my list of hobbies.
购买♥♥、囤积、 现在偷窃
Buying, hoarding, and now stealing
成为一种廉价的刺♥激♥和乾扰
became a cheap thrill and distraction
来自我的平凡世界...
from my mundane world...
...慢慢地开始崩溃。
...which slowly began to collapse.
（碰撞！） -（吱吱！）
(CRASH!) - (SQUEAK!)
（长吱吱声）
(LONG SQUEAK)
那天晚上我失去了三隻天竺鼠。
I lost three guinea pigs that night.
我在后院火化了他们...
I cremated them in the backyard...
...然后将他们的骨灰放入小罐子中。
...and put their ashes in little jars.
看起来我正在开始做一个豚鼠香料架。
It looked like I was starting a guinea pig spice rack.
我的生活真的变得可悲了。
My life had become truly pathetic.
事情已经失控了。
And things had gotten out of control.
我耐心地握著自己的手
I held my own hand patiently,
等待吉伯特来救我，
waiting for Gilbert to come and rescue me,
当我继续撤退时
while I continued to withdraw
进入我的蜗牛堡垒的安全...
into the safety of my snail fortress...
...孤独，
...lonely,
无爱，
loveless,
并被监禁。
and imprisoned.
（打鼾）
(SNORES)
（马达启动）
(MOTOR STARTS UP)
但正当我考虑加入尼姑庵时…
But just as I was considering joining a nunnery...
（发动机呼啸声）
(ENGINE WHIRS)
...从我混乱的生活中
...from the mess of my life
一线希望之一出现了。
came one of those silver linings.
他的名字叫肯。
His name was Ken.
他对吹叶机很著迷。
And he was obsessed with his leaf blower.
（笑声）
(CHUCKLES)
他站在那裡，
There he stood,
比小鸡卷还好吃。
more delicious than a Chicko Roll.
嗯，嗨。
Well, hi.
我可以，呃，也许，呃...
Could I, uh, maybe, uh...
格蕾丝：他想知道他是否可以吹我的叶子。
GRACE: He wanted to know if he could blow my leaves.
他的出现让我感到潮热
His presence gave me hot flushes
和汗湿的内♥裤♥。
and sweaty knickers.
这是一见锺情。
It was love at first sight.
他是坎培拉阿多尼斯。
He was a Canberra Adonis.
一个卡多尼斯。
A Cadonis.
（肯笑）
(KEN LAUGHS)
他是一名微波炉修理工
He was a microwave oven repairman
并告诉我他非常浅薄
and told me that he was extremely shallow
和一维。
and one-dimensional.
他说如果他是洋葱，你剥开一层层的洋葱，
He said if he was an onion and you peeled back the layers,
你会发现更多的洋葱。
you'd just find more onion.
他和我一样有爱好
He had hobbies like me,
并喜欢修理破碗。
and enjoyed repairing broken bowls.
这是一种叫做 kintsugi 的日本艺术形式，
It was a Japanese art form called kintsugi,
基于这样的理念， 就像灵魂一样，
based on the philosophy that, just like the soul,
一切事物都可以修复
all things can be repaired,
我们庆祝了裂缝。
and our cracks celebrated.
肯说 我是一个破碗
Ken said that I was a broken bowl
他会帮我修复伤口
and that he'd help repair my wounds,
填补我的裂缝。
fill up my cracks.
他是如此体贴和具有社区意识
He was so thoughtful and community-minded
他自愿在当地游泳池担任救生员。
he volunteered as a lifeguard at the local pool.
肯：嗯…
KEN: Mmm...
你好。
Hello.
格蕾丝：他很崇拜我，
GRACE: He adored me,
甚至在我的厨房♥裡建了一个奶昔台。
and even built a milkshake station in my kitchen.
我们约会了一个月， 进而...
We dated for a month, and then...
肯：你觉得怎麽样？
KEN: What do you reckon?
（哈利路亚合唱团响起）
(HALLELUJAH CHORUS PLAYS)
（喘气）
(GASPS)
哦！
Ooh!
格蕾丝：他说他真的爱我。
GRACE: He said he really did love me.
喜欢我的怪癖。
Loved my quirks.
（笑）
(LAUGHS)
葛蕾丝：我们又喝了一杯奶昔来庆祝。
GRACE: We celebrated with another milkshake.
他说他会做一些特别的事给我。
He said he'd make me something special.
肯：一匙。 嗯，肉桂！
KEN: Spoonful of that. Hmm, cinnamon!
不！ - 什麽？
No! - What?
哦！ 我...
Oh! I...
那是我的豚鼠。 - 哦！
That's my guinea pig. - Oh!
格蕾丝：正常人会认为我疯了，
GRACE: A normal person would have thought I was bonkers,
保留那些豚鼠的骨灰。
keeping those guinea pigs' ashes.
（两人都笑）
(BOTH LAUGH)
格蕾丝：但他没有。
GRACE: But he didn't.
他爱我的全部，
He loved all of me,
甚至我的屁♥股♥和摇摇晃晃的部分。
even my bum and wobbly bits.
肯：是的。 好的。 哦，是啊！
KEN: Yeah. Nice. Oh, yeah!
哦！
Oh!
是的！
Yeah!
很好，格雷西。
Nice, Gracie.
肯：他搬进来了，
KEN: He moved in,
我终于失去了童贞。
and I finally lost my virginity.
我们非常渴望怀孕。
We were desperate to get pregnant.
但肯被告知他不能生育，
But Ken was told he was sterile,
来自他修过的所有微波炉。
from all those microwave ovens he'd repaired.
女人：运气真倒楣。
WOMAN: Rotten luck.
但我并没有太失望。
But I wasn't too disappointed.
我所拥有的比我所希望的还要多，西尔维亚。
I had more than I could ever wish for, Sylvia.
我有一辆卡多尼斯，
I had a Cadonis,
一群豚鼠，
a herd of guinea pigs,
和一群蜗牛。
and a horde of snails.
肯：说起司吧，格雷西！
KEN: Say cheese, Gracie!
我们订定结婚日期，
We set a wedding date,
并向吉尔伯特传达了好消息。
and sent Gilbert the good news.
啊？
Huh?
哦...哇！
Oh... Wow!
嘿，本，你猜怎麽著？
Hey, Ben, guess what?
葛蕾丝：肯给了他去坎培拉的机票钱。
GRACE: Ken gave him money for an airfare to Canberra.
我请吉伯特陪我走过红毯。
I asked Gilbert to walk me down the aisle.
Pinky 将会是花童。
Pinky would be the flower girl.
我们终于又成为一家人了。
We'd finally be a family again.
最后撒上爸爸的骨灰。
Finally sprinkle Dad's ashes.
我的杯子现在已经满了，
My glass was now brimming,
还有很多一线希望。
and there were silver linings galore.
吉尔伯特会和我们住在一起。
Gilbert would live with us.
他明天就来了！
He'd be here tomorrow!
我从未感到如此幸福 如此乐观。
I'd never felt so happy, so optimistic.
男：送货。
MAN: Delivery.
肯：我会得到它。
KEN: I'll get it.
哦！ （喘气）
Ooh! (GASPS)
萍琪：哦，为了你，亲爱的。
PINKY: Oh, for you, dear.
露丝：亲爱的格蕾丝，
RUTH: Dear Grace,
这是露丝，
this is Ruth,
吉尔伯特的养母。
Gilbert's foster mother.
我很难过地告诉你
It saddens me to tell you
吉尔伯特在一场可怕的火灾中丧生。
that Gilbert has died in an horrific fire.
（喘气）
(GASPS)
我们的教堂被烧毁了，
Our church burnt down,
他无法逃离火焰。
and he was unable to escape the flames.
上週，我找到了吉尔伯特和我的儿子班…
Last week, I found Gilbert and my son Ben...
通姦。
fornicating.
（喘气）
(GASPS)
路西法！