去年圣诞

I'm asking you to do a single thing, Katarina.
叫凯特
It's "Kate."
随便吧 给她电♥话♥ 联♥系♥她
Whatever. Just ring her. Contact her.
给我一个合理的理由
Give me one good reason.
你错过了五次医生的预约
You've missed five doctor's appointments.
你明天还有一个医生预约
You've got one planned for tomorrow,
显然你清楚此事
which apparently you know about.
你必须得去
You have to be there.
她还安排了晚餐来庆祝我升职
She's also planning a dinner to celebrate my promotion.
你不给她打电♥话♥真的严重影响我的生活
And you not ringing her is seriously affecting my life.
你会邀请阿尔芭去吃晚餐吗
Will you be inviting Alba to the dinner?
给你妈打电♥话♥
Just ring your mother.
天呐
Christ.
珍娜 是我 听着亲爱的
Yeah, Jenna, it's me. Listen, darling,
抱歉给你留这条语♥音♥
I'm sorry to leave this message.
但我真的需要一张床过夜
I just really need a bed for the night.
可能的话过几夜更好
Even possibly a few nights.
你是我的闺蜜 拜托 我知道
You're my bestie. Please. I know.
-你就... -小精灵
- Just... - Hey, elf!
这是我的小精灵
This is my elf.
圣诞老人有小精灵的
Santa has elves, you know.
她的小助手们
Little helpers.
我给她起昵称叫"懒懒小精灵"
I have nicknamed her "Lazy the Elf"
因为她好像从来不工作
because she appears never to work.
-是我没错 -她也可以被称作
- That's me. Mm. - She could also be called
"失望透顶小精灵"
"Crushing Disappointment the Elf."
-我只是 -"浪费工资小精灵"
- I-I'm just... - "Waste of Payroll the Elf,"
"榨干我小精灵"
"Bleeding Me Dry the Elf,"
"还来干嘛小精灵"
"Why on Earth Is She Even Here the Elf."
-看啥呢 -天呐
- What? - Jesus.
-你从哪冒出来的 -你在看什么
- Where'd you come from? - Well, what are you looking at?
看 看
Look, look.
那里 看到了吗
There. You see it?
就在屋檐上面
Just above the lip of the roof there.
很不寻常 在城里见到一只那样的鸟
It's quite unusual to see a bird like that in town.
天呐
Blimey.
该死
Damn it.
给你 我觉得它拉在你眼睛里了
Here. Uh, I think it just pooed in your eye.
我也这么觉得
Yeah, I think so.
-再见 我的同胞 -抱歉
- Goodbye, my people. - Sorry.
你去哪里了
Where have you been?
一只该死的鸟拉屎在我眼睛里了
A shitting bird just shat in my eye.
-屋里有鸟吗 -没有
- Is there a bird in here? - No.
有个小伙在外面傻乎乎的
Some bloke was outside the shop playing silly buggers.
或许你可以多花点心思
Well, maybe you can focus your attention
-在店里的傻子身上 -我知道
- on the silly buggers inside the shop. - I know. Oh!
我电♥话♥响了 对不起 对不起
My phone. Sorry. Sorry.
对不起 桑塔
I'm sorry, Santa.
喂 珍娜
Yeah, Jenna!
太好了 太感谢了 太谢谢了
Yes! Thank you so much. Thank you so much.
谢谢 我大概八点到
Thank you so... I'll be with you around 8:00.
-好的 你最好了 -马上挂电♥话♥
- Okay. You are number one. - Get off the phone now!
好了 我得挂了 再见
Okay, I got to go. Bye.
我去把鸟屎从眼睛里弄出来
Yeah, I'm just gonna get the shit out my eye.
-马上回... -打起精神来
- I'll be right... - Time to sparkle!
给您 先生 希望您喜欢混合节日的光明树
There you are, sir. Enjoy your festive hybrid Hanukkah bush.
圣诞快乐 谢谢
Merry Christmas to you. Thank you.
谢谢 慢走
Thank you. Take care.
又是你母亲吗
Your mother again?
-我诅咒我出生的那天 -我也是
- I curse the day I was born. - Me, too.
有趣 不用了 我在她的手♥机♥上
Funny, no. I installed everything on her phone
从阅后即焚到图享网所有应用程序都装遍了
from Snapchat to Instagram.
就是为了
All it means is that
我能全方位地让她失望
I can disappoint her in more ways than ever.
母亲都是地狱
Mothers are hell.
没错
Oh, yeah.
你好啊
Hello.
把他交给我
Leave him to me.
你只会和他调情 他会忘了购物这茬的
You'll just flirt with him, and he'll forget to buy anything.
有什么需要的吗
How can I help you?
不介意圣诞老人把他塞进我的圣诞袜里
Wouldn't mind finding him in my stocking.
我是进来看看你的眼睛的
I came in to check on your eye.
没事了
It's fine.
-这是好运 -什么
- It's good luck, you know. - What is?
被鸟屎砸中
Getting pooed on by a bird.
-胡说 -没有 真的
- Bollocks is it. - No, seriously.
所以我就想来问问看你愿不愿意
So I thought I'd see if you fancied
-跟我压压马路 -跟你一起压马路
- a little stroll with me. - Oh, that's my luck?
-就是你所说的好运吗 -有这个可能
- Going for a stroll with you? - Might be.
你是不是在滑滑上找到我的
Look, did you find me on Swiper?
-滑滑 -对
- Swiper? - Yeah.
现代约会应用程序 你没听说过吗
The modern dating application you might have heard of.
完全没有
So not.
说实话 你不是我喜欢的类型
Look, to be honest, you're not really my type.
说实话 你也不是我喜欢的类型
To be honest, you're not really mine.
那我们就不用费神了
Well, maybe we should just leave it, then.
不过我喜欢挑战
I do like a challenge, though.
你有没有试过试极限跳伞
You considered BASE jumping?
-日本河豚 -我试过
- Japanese blowfish? - No, I have,
不过我现在想跟你压马路
but right now I'm considering a little stroll with you.
不用想了 因为我拒绝
Well, consider away, because it's a no.
有没有什么我能改进的
Is there anything that I could improve upon to, say,
-好说服你 -没有
- persuade you? - No.
有什么特别的原因吗
Any reason in particular?
因为你很怪 这样很奇怪 而且不我认识你
Because you're weird, this is weird, and I don't know you.
所以能拜托你离开好吗 赶紧...
So, please, could you just leave, okay? Just get...
-闪开 快走 -等下 这样奇怪吗
- Shoo. Just go. Just go. - Hold on. This is weird?
快点 对 你很怪
Let's just... Yeah, you're weird.
-你很奇怪 我真的... -比抓抓
- You're strange. I don't really... - Weirder than Grabber
-还是滑滑什么的还奇怪吗 -对
- or Swiper or whatever it's called? - Yeah.
对了...
Oh, just...
比完全陌生的人
Weirder than total strangers
根据修过的照片决定
deciding on one Photoshopped image
是否立刻进入前戏还奇怪吗
whether or not to engage in immediate foreplay?
我很忙 你很怪 拜拜
I'm busy. You're weird. Goodbye.
我...
Can...
你需要什么...
Do you need any...
晚上好
Good evening.
晚上...
Good eve...
有什么需要的吗
Can I help you?
应该有
I think so.
继续
Go on, then.
你想找什么
What is it you were looking for?
这个
This.
耶稣是我哥们
这个非常好
That is very nice.
应该是圣诞老人吧
It's Mr. Claus, I believe.
是的
Yes.
坐在他的雪橇上
Upon his vehicle.
-是的 -你有什么
- Yes. - Do you have something...
不太一样的吗
dissimilar?
有
Yes.
我们有许多不一样的商品
We have many... dissimilar items.
比如 这个圣诞长臂猿
For instance, this Christmas gibbon.
♪ 去年圣诞 ♪
♪ Last Christmas ♪
♪ 我给了你我的心 ♪
♪ I gave you my heart ♪
♪ 今年 ♪
♪ This year ♪
♪ 为了不再流泪♪
♪ To save me from tears... ♪
真有趣
It is amusing.
我也这么认为
I think so, too.
♪ 特别的 特别的 特别的 ♪
♪ Special, special, special... ♪