去年圣诞

南斯拉夫
1999年
♪ 让我告诉你个秘密 ♪
♪ Let me tell you a secret ♪
♪ 请替我保守 牢记心底 ♪
♪ Put it in your heart and keep it ♪
♪ 这件事我想告诉你 ♪
♪ Something that I want you to know ♪
♪ 为我做点什么 ♪
♪ Do something for me ♪
♪ 听听我简单的故事 ♪
♪ Listen to my simple story ♪
♪ 也许我们会有所共鸣 ♪
♪ And maybe we'll have something to show ♪
♪ 你告诉我你的内心冷漠 ♪
♪ You tell me you're cold on the inside ♪
♪ 你的内心怎会 ♪
♪ How can the outside world ♪
♪ 欣然接受外面的世界 ♪
♪ Be a place that your heart can embrace ♪
♪ 善待自己 因为别人都没有 ♪
♪ Be good to yourself 'cause nobody else ♪
♪ 让你开心的能力 ♪
♪ Has the power to make you happy ♪
♪ 我能怎么帮你 ♪
♪ How can I help you ♪
♪ 请让我试试 ♪
♪ Please let me try to ♪
♪ 我可以治愈 ♪
♪ I can heal the pain ♪
♪ 深藏你内心的伤痛 ♪
♪ That you're feeling inside ♪
♪ 不论何时你需要我 ♪
♪ Whenever you want me ♪
♪ 请记住我一直等着那天 ♪
♪ Know that I will be waiting for the day ♪
♪ 当你说你会属于我 ♪
♪ That you say you'll be mine ♪
伦敦 2017年
你看上去需要再来一杯
You look like you need another.
你是干嘛的 灵媒吗
What are you, psychic?
认真凝视我的眼睛
Look deep into my eyes.
没错 你正感觉非常渴
Yeah. You're feeling very thirsty.
你真厉害
Oh, you are very good.
而且
And...
这首是你最喜欢的歌♥
Oh, yeah, this is your favorite song.
太灵了吧
That was so psychic.
不是 是因为你连续放了四遍
No, that was you playing it four times in a row.
《治愈苦痛》
乔治·迈克尔
我爱乔治·迈克尔
Well, love me, love George Michael.
我们算是志趣相投
We're kindred spirits.
-怎么说 -我们都是歌♥手
- How so? - Well, we're both singers.
我们都在自己的时代
We're both famously misunderstood
出了名地被公众误解 不被赏识
and underappreciated in our time.
但这一切都将会改变
But all that's gonna change,
因为我明天要参加重要的伦敦西区试演
'cause tomorrow I've got a big audition for the West End.
那你来是为了试演
And you, uh, came into town for it?
不是 我刚跟室友结束了合租
No, I, uh, moved out on my flatmate today.
所以呢 你打算搬回家吗
So, what, you're gonna move back home?
-杀了我吧 -好吧 家庭矛盾
- Oh, kill me now. - Oh. Uh... Family issues.
是的 让我跟你列举一下
Yeah. Let me count the ways.
愤怒 羞愧 憎恨
anger, shame, resentment,
尴尬 这还只是我妈妈带给我的
embarrassment... and that's just my mum.
-想听听我和我姐的事吗 -不想
- Do you want to hear about my sister? - No.
好吧 那你怎么打算的
Okay. So, what's your plan?
我会有办法的
I'll figure it out, you know.
没关系的 总会出现转机
It'll be fine. Something will turn up.
或者人
Or someone.
早上好 美女
Morning, gorgeous.
睡这张床就好像睡在一堆猫咪上
This bed, it's like sleeping on a pile of kittens.
如果这种想法让人舒适
If that thought's comfortable
没让人觉得可怕的话
and not completely horrifying.
我去街上买♥♥点东西
I'm gonna dash down the street.
我需要姜 新鲜甜菜根
I need some gingerroot, fresh beets
来制♥作♥我著名的活力蔬果汁
for my famous breakfast power juice.
-好 -而且
- Cool. - And...
等我的时候给你来杯卡布奇诺
a cappuccino while you wait.
想洗澡的话也有充足热水供应
And lashings of hot water if you fancy a shower.
-太好了 -我马上回来
- Bliss. - I'll be right back.
惊喜
Surprise!
猜猜谁提前一天开完会回来了
Guess who got back from the conference a day early.
老天 我想死你了
God, I've missed you.
天呐 你是谁
God, who are you?!
我是...水管工
I'm the... plumber.
-水管工 -听我说
- The plumber? - Look...
事情不是看起来的样子 我只是
This isn't what it looks like. I just...
只是需要有张床能过夜 而他
I just... I needed a bed for the night, and he...
-艾德 -艾德 艾德真的很善解人意
- Ed. - Ed. Ed was just so understanding.
而我只是...我有很多问题 好吧
And I-I just... I just... I've got lots of issues, all right?
首先是住宿问题 因为我基本走投无路了
Accommodation, firstly, 'cause I've sort of run out of options
由于各种原因我把一切搞得一团糟
because I've really messed up for a number of reasons.
-而他... -艾德
- And he... - Ed.
艾德好像非常能理解我的处境
Ed just seemed to get that.
你和他睡了吗
Did you shag him?
我的箱子还在你那
Look, you took my bag!
我的生活为什么这么糟
Why is my life so shit?!
去年圣诞
永远爱乔治·迈克尔
地铁
不好笑 克劳斯
It's not funny, Klaus.
令人不可思议地无趣
It's incredible how unfunny it is.
圣诞时节
营业
老天
Christ.
抱歉 乔治
I'm sorry, George.
快乐 真快乐
Happy. Happy.
真奇妙
你来早了
Hey, you're early.
你从来没早到过 你要干什么
You are never early. What are you up to?
住宿问题
Accommodation issues.
还是老♥毛♥病 你这次又干了什么
So the usual. What did you do this time?
-把别人的鱼电死了吗 -不 不 那是上周
- Fry someone's fish? - No, no, that was last week.
上周
还能借沙发给你睡的朋友已经没几个了
You are going to run out of friends with sofas.
你病了
You have been sick.
你得更好地照顾你自己
You need to take care of yourself better.
-桑塔 我不知道还在乎 -我不在乎
- Santa, I didn't know you cared. - I don't care.
只是不想你突然死在顾客跟前
I just don't want you to drop dead in front of the customers.
我可没有足够的彩条盖住你的尸体
I don't have enough tinsel to cover your corpse.
赶紧干活 小精灵
Get to work, elf.
我拿不定主意
I don't know.
你得帮我决定一下
You're gonna have to help me decide.
-这俩都很可爱 -这么办吧
- They're both so darling. - I tell you what.
就当玛丽生了双胞胎 他俩你都能带回家
Let's pretend Mary had twins, and you can get both.
你肯定很爱你的工作
You must just love your job.
-超爱的 -像在梦里一样
- Love it. - It's like being in a dream.
一年到头每一天都充满了圣诞节的欢乐和爱
All the joys and the love of Christmas every single day of the year.
好了 你究竟要挑哪一个基♥督♥宝宝呢
Now, which baby is it going to be?
他很棒 但这位
He's gorgeous, but this one...
看起来非常快乐
he looks like he's having a lot of fun.
是的 而且还会更加快乐
Oh, yeah, and a lot more to come.
-但这个 你看他 -过来
- But this one, look at him. - Come on.
-他更像我理想中的... -我的老天
- He's more like my idea of... - Jesus Christ.
-你也觉得吗 -凯特琳娜
- You think so, too? - Katarina.
抱歉稍等一下 桑塔
Um, excuse me for just one moment. Santa!
我得跟你说句话
I need a word.
我在工作 你可以打给我的
I'm at work. You could've called me.
你不接电♥话♥
You're not answering your phone.
记得吗 我从公♥司♥溜出来的
Remember? Look, I've come from work.
我得回去了 所以赶紧的
I need to get back, so come get out here.
那是我的分♥析♥师 很抱歉
That's my analyst. So sorry.
桑塔 请你下来好吗
Santa, can you get down here, please?
拜托了 谢谢
Please? Thank you.
圣诞老人[桑塔]Santa?
你在吗
Are you there?
妈妈要你给她打电♥话♥
Mum needs you to ring her.
每次她联♥系♥你
All right, every time she contacts you
你不回她 她就会联♥系♥我
and gets no response, she contacts me.
昨天打了17次
Yesterday, 17 times.
-赶紧打给她 -别在这里发号♥施令了
- Just do it. - Oh, don't just stand there issuing commands.
我是个成年人
I am an adult.
你是我见过最不像个成年人的人
You are the furthest thing from an adult that I know.
我需要独处的时间
I need time to myself.
我就让你做这一件事 凯特琳娜