去年圣诞

which only a miracle save her.
浪费生命 谢了 妈妈
Wasting my life. Thanks, Mum.
你拥有了梦想中的工作
And you have job you dream of.
对 但这不是我梦想的工作 是你的
Yeah, except that I didn't dream of it, did I? You did.
爸爸在这做不了律师 所以就要我来
You know, Dad can't be a lawyer here, so I had to be.
无论我真正想要的是什么
No matter what I might have actually wanted to do.
你宁愿去开出租吗
Yeah, would you rather drive minicab?
看看他都什么模样了 看着都有一千岁了
Look what it done to him. He look thousand years old.
谢了
Thanks.
-我要用老二戳死你 -而你
- Nabijem I tebe na kurac. - And you...
你 你就堂而皇之地认为
Y-you sit there, and you think it's absolutely acceptable
说她比我更聪明没什么不合适
to say that she's cleverer than me.
就因为她病了我就要忍♥气吞声
And I'm expected to swallow it just because she's been ill.
玛塔 冷静点
Marta, calm down.
不 你没资格让我冷静 好吗
No, don't you dare tell me to calm down, all right?
-玛塔 -你什么事都不在乎
- Marta. - All right, you don't care about anything,
凯特琳娜 或者凯特 不管你现在叫什么
Katarina, or Kate, or whatever your name is now,
因为你为自己感到可耻
because you're ashamed of who you are.
我为自己感到可耻
I'm ashamed of who I am?
那你呢
What about you?
阿尔芭去哪了
Where's Alba?
闭嘴
Shut up.
在你隆重的庆功宴上 你女朋友去哪了
On your big celebration dinner, where is your girlfriend?
阿尔芭
Alba?
阿尔芭是 阿尔芭是玛塔的室友
Alba is... Alba is Marta's flatmate.
对 永远都是室友
Yeah, and that's how it's always gonna be.
我猜她肯定非常满意
I bet she's really happy about that.
她在说什么
What she say?
天呐 你真是好样的
Oh, God, you're a piece of work.
玛塔
Marta.
-玛塔 -玛塔
- Marta. - Marta.
吃吧 你都瘦成骨架子了
Eat. You look like skeleton.
我要走了
I got to go.
再见 妈妈
Goodbye, Mum.
我要用老二戳死你
I will nail you to my dick.
52号♥
传统麦芽酒 黑啤
圣本笃流浪者之家
非常欢迎您的到来
这么晚了你在外面干什么
What are you doing out so late?
你去哪了
Well, where have you been?
-怎么了 -怎么了
- What's up? - "What's up?"
我找不到你 还怎么了
Me not being able to find you is what's up.
你已经失踪了好几天了
You just... you've been disappearing for days on end.
-两天 -我一直在想办法找你
- Two days. - And I've been trying to find you.
赶紧把你的破手♥机♥从橱柜里拿出来
So take your stupid phone out of your stupid cupboard
联♥系♥我 好吗 因为
and contact me, all right? 'Cause...
因为我最近太蠢了
because I've just been really stupid.
我最近真的 太蠢了
I've been really, really stupid.
我这么说有点扯远了 不过
I mean, it's a bit of a stretch, but...
你是不是喝了不少酒
have you had a couple drinks?
带着你纯纯的男子气概赶紧走开吧
Bugger off with your cleanly manliness.
好吗 回去工作
All right? Just... just go back to work.
离我远点
Leave me alone.
我刚刚帮助完有需要的人
No, I've just come back from helping the needy.
真好
Great.
心理辅♥导♥的工作
You know, just a bit of psych work.
帮助一些极度痛苦的人
I work with the severely distressed.
他们有时会对我发泄
You know, when they get off on one.
事实上
In fact,
你非常痛苦而且刚刚就对我发泄了
you're severely distressed and have just gone off on one,
所以我很高兴我们碰上了
so I'm glad that we bumped into each other.
我们一起去把手♥机♥从橱柜里拿出来吧
Shall we go get my phone from that cupboard?
好
Okay.
走吧
Let's go.
你要带我去哪
Where are you taking me?
家
Home.
-就在那边 -好
- It's down here. - Yeah.
进来吧
Come on in.
你还真没开玩笑
You weren't kidding.
这地方真是整洁
Place is so tidy.
-进来坐吧 -不 不
- Come take a seat. - No. No.
不行 我会把东西弄皱或是不自主地尿尿
I can't. I'll crease something or just spontaneously wee.
我就 坐在地板上吧
I'm gonna... sit on the floor.
有很多地方可以坐
There's plenty of seats.
平稳着陆
Nice landing.
你现在不是你自己
You're not yourself.
不是吗
No?
或许是我错了
Maybe I'm wrong.
什么错了
Wrong about what?
或许这就是你最本我的样子
Maybe this is more you than anything.
我这人一团糟
I'm a mess.
有点
Kind of.
脑子一团糟
In here.
我生病的时候 是心脏出了问题
When I was ill, it was a heart thing.
嗯
Right.
我做了心脏移植手术
I had a heart transplant.
我不告诉别人 因为他们会变得很奇怪
I don't tell people, 'cause they get weird,
但我觉得你不会
but I don't think you'll get weird.
我不会
No.
可以吗
Is this okay?
他们取出了我的心脏
They took out my heart.
取走了然后就扔掉了 我
They took it and threw it away. And I...
我 我不知道他们放回去的是什么
And I... and I don't know what they put back,
但是它感觉很奇怪又不同又陌生
but it felt weird and different and strange and...
就像是失去了身体最特殊的一部分
and like I'd lost my most special part.
人们一直说 我还活着太幸运了
And they kept telling me I was lucky to be alive.
但我感受不到自己活着
But I didn't feel alive.
只觉得自己像行尸走肉
I just felt half dead.
过来
Come here.
我本该是特别的
I was supposed to be special.
我没想要特别 但是
I didn't ask to be, but...
我生病的时候 他们让我觉得自己是特别的
they made me feel special when I was ill.
我差点死掉 又做了移植手术的时候
And then I was special when I nearly died
我也确实很特别 但是
and had a transplant, but...
然后他们又想让我做回普通人继续生活
then they just expected me to be normal and get on with life.
没有普通人这回事
There's no such thing as normal.
这是个很蠢的词
It's a stupid word.
害人无数
Does a lot of damage.
一切都不对劲
Nothing feels right.
你是唯一一个能让我感觉...
You're the only person that makes me feel, like,
我说不好
I don't know...
可靠的人
...solid.
让我有存在感
Like I exist.
我是个兼♥职♥自行车快递员
I'm a part-time cycle courier
连个手♥机♥都没有
who doesn't even have a phone.
我知道
I know.
这很可悲
It's pretty sad.
而且我以前会唱歌♥
And I could sing before.
现在我却
Turns out...
什么也做不了了
I can't do anything.
我觉得变得特别...
I think the whole special...
做一个特别的人这件事 被看得过于重了
being-special thing is overrated.
我觉得做一个人就已经很难了
I think just to be a human being is hard.
非常艰难
You know, really hard.
你好像应付得不错啊
You seem to manage all right.
有人对我说的一句话帮助了我
One thing someone said to me helped me.
"每个平凡日子里的一举一动
"Every little action of the common day
都在塑造或瓦解性格"
makes or unmakes character."
意思就是 你所做的一切造就了你
It just means that you're built of everything you do.
这没什么问题
And that's okay.
我是谁
Who am I?
我不知道