我盛大的同志婚礼（2007）

嘿 嘿 这火是不是因为你把自己放的屁点着了？
Hey, hey, did you start this fire by lighting one of your farts?
你真幽默
That's funny.
抓紧我们的衣服 抓紧 跑
Hold on to our coats. Hold on. Start running!
加速
Go!
加速
Go!
我能跑了 妈妈
I'm running, Mama!
我跑的像阵风
I'm running like the wind!
减速 减速
Slow down! Slow down!
妈妈呀
Mama!
啊…
Ah...
查克 查克 你还好么？
Chuck! Chuck, are you all right?
感谢上帝
Thank God.
哦 天啊 他吃的西兰花啊 天啊
Oh, my God! Oh, sweet Lord. Broccoli. Oh, my God!
他们救了我 那两个 他们是我的英雄
They saved me, those two. Yeah, they're my heroes.
我喜欢你 我爱你
I like you. I love you!
噢 给我来了英雄 我饿了
Oh, get me a hero! I'm starving!
让我离开这儿 把我送到熟食店去
Oh, get me out of here! Bring me to a deli!
孩子们怎么样？
So, how are the kids doing?
哦 托丽 她非常好 伙计
Oh, Tori, she's great, man.
她正在踢球 总能破门得分
She's playing soccer, scoring goals.
真棒 - 我的埃里克呢？
It's awesome. My man Eric?
他开始少年联盟了么？
Is he starting Little League yet?
嗯 我想不会了
Yeah. I don't think that's happening.
为什么？
Why not?
# 梅米麦莫么 米麦莫梅 #
# May, me, my, mo, mo. Me, my, mo, may. #
好了 埃里克 够了
Okay, Eric? That's enough.
坐下来 要吃饭了
Sit down and get ready for dinner.
好的
Okay.
老爸 你身上有烟味 你去灭火了么？
Dad, you smell like smoke. Did you put out a fire?
我可没把果汁糖烧化
I wasrt roasting marshmallows.
那真酷 - 你也挺酷的
That's so cool. You're so cool.
你能帮我一下么 特雷莎
Could you help me out, Teresa,
把意大利面条酱从微波炉里拿出来？
and just grab that spaghetti sauce out of the microwave?
不 我要赶火车
No. I have sub-train.
你能帮下忙么？
Would you please?
我只需要帮下忙 我实在不知道我在干什么
I just need a hand. I don't really know what I'm doing here.
最后一班火车15分钟后开
Is last train for 15 minutes.
好吧 你可以走了
All right, you can go. Oh, God.
烫死了
Oh, God.
来了 烤肉饼
There we are, Bolognese.
看起来更像一盆屎
Looks more like bowl of shit.
嗯 多谢你的帮忙 特雷莎
Yeah, thanks for all your help, Teresa.
好吧 小家伙们 有什么新闻么？
Okay, guys, so what is new?
我在试演学校的音乐剧 皮蓬
I'm auditioning for the school musical, Pippin.
你…你喜欢那个 是吧？ 音乐剧那玩意儿
You... You like that, huh? The musical thing.
是的 我热爱它 我想它就是我的职业吧
Yeah, I love it. I think it's my calling.
你迷跳房♥子的時候﹐也是这么说的
That's what you said about hopscotch.
你就是嫉妒 因为我能做劈叉
You're just jealous 'Cause I can do the splits.
那动作对他的睾丸没什么伤害么？
Isn't that supposed to hurt his testicles?
有的
Yes.
你 以后不许那么说话
You, don't talk like that.
你 回到桌子上来 把你的热狗沙拉吃完
You, get back in your chair and finish your hot dog salad.
（体育解说）队员们每天都想击球
...guy really wants to take the ball every day,
然后把球击出去
and going right back out there.
击中了 球飞向左侧外场
And hits one to deep left field!
邓恩归来 球飞了出去
Dunn back, and it's out of here!
现在Met队6比2领先了
And the Mets now have a six to two lead.
哦 天
Oh, boy.
巧克力蛋糕好了
Brownies are ready.
你能不能不用我的简易烤箱？
Would you stop using my Easy-Bake Oven?
但我喜欢烘烤
But I like to bake.
孩子们 你们能静一下么？
Guys, would you settle?
埃里克 你为什么不看看Met队的比赛呢？
Eric, why don't you watch the Met game, huh?
欢迎致电市政员工计划处
Welcome to the Municipal Employee and Planning Department.
请说出您的名字
Please tell me your name.
拉里•华伦太
Larry Valentine.
很抱歉 我没有听清楚
I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that.
拉里•华伦太
Larry Valentine.
您说的是“巴里•史马伦派” 是么？
You said, "Barry Schmalenpime." Is that right?
史马伦派？
Schmalenpime?
您说“史马伦派” 是么？
You said, "Schmalenpime." Is that right?
我发音很清楚
I was enunciating.
您说“我发音很清楚” 是么？
You said, "I was enunciating." Is that right?
呜
Whoo!
您说“呜” 是么？
You said, "Whoo!" Is that right?
爸爸 你该尝尝我的巧克力蛋糕 它们棒极了
Dad, you have to try my brownies. They're fabulous!
别做劈叉了 看棒球
Enough with the splits! Watch baseball!
随后我花了45分钟 让电脑系统不要叫我“戴里”
Then it took 45 minutes for this robot to stop calling me "Dairy."
然后它又开始问我 是不是从“古克林”打来的
And then it starts asking me if I'm calling from "Gooklyn."
你看 我就是想把我的保险受益人 从我的妻子改为我的孩子
Look, all I'm trying to do is change my beneficiary from my wife to my kids.
好的 但你得先填一些表格
Okay, you would have to file a request to do that.
太好了 快给我填吧
Great. Let's do it.
那可是要花“一些”时间的
That's gonna take a while.
听着 女士 我可没有“一些”时间 你明白么？
Look, lady, I don't have a while, all right?
我是消防队员 可能明天就会死啊
I'm a fireman. I could die tomorrow.
我想要是那样 你肯定是被烧焦了
I guess if that happened, you would be burned.
你在开玩笑么？
Are you trying to make a funny?
有一点儿
Sort of.
不管怎样 保险受益人 只能在三种情况下更改
Anyhooser, beneficiaries can only be changed for three events.
出生 死亡和婚姻
Births, deaths and marriages.
从我们的记录来看 你妻子过世的时候 我们已经联♥系♥过你
According to our records, we did contact you when your wife passed away.
你曾有一年的时间 你应该那时答复的
You had a year. You should have responded.
我那时都要疯了 每天都活在我妻子过世的悲痛之中
Like a crazy person, I was busy mourning the death of my wife.
私下里说
Off the record.
我可以给你提供个更简单的方法
I could suggest something that's a little more simple
同时让事情进展的更快些
and perhaps more fulfilling to speed things up.
那就太好了 你有…你有什么办法？
That would be great. What do... What do you got?
你应该再结一次婚
Should you remarry,
你的新妻子会是你的第一保险受益人
your new wife at that time could be named your primary beneficiary.
因此如果你生命中有什么特别的人的话
So if there's somebody special in your life,
我是说 谁知道呢 也许是你刚刚见到的某个人
I mean, who knows, maybe even someone you just met,
而且你也做好给出承诺的准备了
and you are ready to make a commitment,
也许现在就是好时候
maybe now's the time.
疯狂一下嘛
Let's go crazy.
看看她有多漂亮
Look how pretty she is.
活着进去 - 活着出来
Going in alive. Coming out the same way.
来吧 伙计
All right, baby.
我们走
Come on, bud.
拉文 华伦太 我们得完成二次搜索
Levine, Valentine, can we finish this secondary search
这样我就能回家找老婆做♥爱♥ 然后被她拒绝了
so I can get home to my wife and be denied sex?
好的 当然可以
Yeah. Absolutely.
这么说 他在试演音乐剧？
So he's auditioning for a musical?
是的 皮蓬
Yeah, Pippin.
斯科特•皮蓬 NBA历史上顶尖的外线防守球员之一
职业生涯中曾10次入选最佳防守阵容 其中8次防守第一阵容 曾先后效力于公牛（1987-1998， 2003-2004）、火箭（1998-1999）、开拓者（1999-2003）
皮蓬？听上去不坏 是关于斯科特•皮蓬的？
Pippen? That ain't so bad. Is it about Scottie Pippen?
我不知道 他总是练习唱歌♥
I don't know. He practices singing a lot.
Frank Sinatra（1915-1998） 美国著名爵士唱手 20世纪的一代巨星
三次获得奥斯卡奖（荣誉奖 最佳男配角奖 终身成就奖) 获9座格莱美奖（3座年度最佳专辑奖 2座年度最佳唱片奖 1座年度最佳歌♥曲奖 3座最佳流行男歌♥手奖）和格莱美终身成就奖
嘿 西那拉也总是在唱
Hey, Sinatra sang a lot.
那倒是真的
Yeah, that's true.
总比跳舞好
Better than dancing.
是啊 你知道么 我像他这么大的时候 每天就是运动
Yeah, it's just when I was his age, all I did was sports, you know?
也许他们能在奥♥运♥会上跳远呢 还是有希望的
Maybe they'll make skipping an Olympic event. There's still hope.
得了 伙计 我的麻烦还不够多么？
Come on, man, I don't have enough problems?
吞棒表演 我打赌那个他一定行
Baton swallowing. I bet he'd be great at that.
是 你这个白♥痴♥
Yeah. You're an idiot.
别扯了 我刚刚揭了你的老底
I'm just busting your balls. Come on.
223小组 屋顶 二次搜索没有异常
Ladder 223, roof. Secondary search negative.
继续向上
Going upstairs.
伙计 至少在抚恤金方面你还顺利
At least the whole pension thing's working out for you, buddy.
是啊 你知道么？你为什么不下来？
Yeah. Hey, you know what? Why don't you come back down here?