我盛大的同志婚礼（2007）

我不知道 不敢抬头看
I don't know. I'm afraid to look up.
好像真有用耶 真有用
I think it is. I think it is.
哦 我的天
Oh, my God.
我们真的蒙混过关了这回
We really pulled this one out of our asses.
用词不当哦 拉里 用词不当
Bad choice of words, there, Larry. Bad choice of words.
嘿 查克 拉里 我们每周二晚上六点 都有篮球赛
Hey, Chuck, Larry. We got a basketball game every Tuesday night at 6:00.
如果你俩想参加 “蝴蝶男”知道怎么找到我们
If you guys want to play, the butterfly knows how to get hold of us.
好的 谢谢 我们会找你们的
Okay, right on. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, we'll give you a buzz.
很高兴认识你们
Nice to meet you guys.
罪人们 通奸犯们 我们不是怀着敌意来的
Sinners and fornicators! We are not here in anger!
我们是来将你们 从永世的诅咒中拯救出来
We are here to save you from eternal damnation!
嘿 伙计
Hey, buddy!
哟 别这样了 这是私人派对
Wait, come on already! This is a private event.
别纠缠不休了
Now, give it a rest.
你们难道不为自己的来世担心？
Arert you worried about where you'll spend eternity?
这些人就这么度周末的？
This is what these guys do on a Saturday night?
他们就是想让每个人 都跟他们一样悲惨
They just want everyone to be as miserable as they are.
基道不可行 基道不可行
Gay is not the way! Gay is not the way! Gay is not the way!
没事的 宝贝
Lt's over, baby.
基道不可行 基道不可行
Gay is not the way! Gay is not the way!
嘿嘿 你们都听到了 这是私人派对 到别的地方去吧
Hey, hey! You heard the man. It's a private party, so take a walk.
这是公众步行道 我们有权站在这儿
This is a public sidewalk. We have every right to be here!
那我们也有权做同性恋
And we have every right to be queer!
耶
Yeah!
同性恋是让人憎恶的
Homosexuality is an abomination.
嘿 你真迂腐 老兄 你这身夹克才是让人憎恶的
Hey, news flash, man. That jacket's an abomination.
基道才是王道 基道才是王道 - 基道不可行
Gay is the way! Gay is the way! - Gay is not the way!
嘿 你们凭什么认为自己有权主宰
Hey, what makes you think that you have the right to dictate
别人的生活方式？
how other people live their lives?
我是政♥府♥官员 我有权在任何公众论♥坛♥发言
I'm a minister. I'm allowed to preach in any public forum.
哦 那我是个消防员
Well, I'm a fireman.
我说你阻挡紧急通道 到此为止吧 各位
I say you're blocking emergency access, so let's call it a night, guys.
哦哦哦 你是个消防员？
Whoa, whoa, whoa! You're a fireman?
你真给消防队丢脸
You are a disgrace!
你才是真正的引起火灾的火源
You're a flamer, is what you are.
好吧 算了 跟这些人讲理没用的
All right, oh, my God. There's no reasoning with these people.
算了吧 就这样吧
Just let it go. Just let it go. Just let it go.
走吧 走吧 走吧 兄弟们
Come on, come on. Let it go, guys.
玩的愉快 再见
Have a good day. See you later.
玻璃
Faggots.
等一下 你刚才叫我什么？
I'm sorry? What did you call me?
哦 我叫你玻璃
Oh, I called you a faggot.
玻璃
Faggot.
你听好了 官方说法是“同性恋”
For your information, the accepted vernacular is "gay."
同性恋1：0正常人 官方比分
Homos, one. Crazy people, zero. Official score.
先生们 我的理论很简单
Gentlemen, I have a very simple philosophy.
你们跟男人做♥爱♥还是跟女人做♥爱♥ 我管不着
What you shove up your ass is your own business.
队长 - 住嘴
Captain... Shut up.
我一般不管我的消防员 他们的私人生活
Now, it's not my style to get involved in the personal lives of my firemen.
如果我给了你们一种印象
And if sometimes I've given you
认为我是你们的朋友 我表示歉意
the impression that I'm your friend, I apologize.
然而 我真的很怀疑 你俩是不是真的同性恋
However, I seriously doubt that you two are banging each other.
你和宝拉 是我见过的 最完美的夫妇
You and Paula, the most beautiful couple I ever laid eyes on.
而你 就算我的削笔刀穿裙子 我都得把它藏起来不让你看到
And you, if my pencil sharpener had a skirt, I'd have to hide it.
你们到底知不知道 作为行政人员肩上的担子有多重？
Look, do you have any idea of the stress an administrative position entails?
我的前列腺已经肿的 跟哈密瓜一样大了
I've already got a prostate the size of a cantaloupe.
好了 现在又添上你俩不用脑子的
And now, thanks to you two bozos,
现在养老金部门已经搞的我很头痛了
I've got the Pension Department pissing up my chimney,
更不要说从伯西比来的果蝠
not to mention every flaming fruit bat south of Poughkeepsie
一刻不闲的在我们的消防管道上撒野
that wants to come down here to our house and slide up and down our pole!
我们应该跟他说实话 - 我们得说实话
We should tell him the truth. We'll tell him the truth.
我们跟他说实话 - 根本没有什么实话
We'll tell him the truth. Lx-nay on the uth-tray!
我不想听
I don't want to hear about it.
如果你们的这个“婚姻”
And if this marriage is something you've cooked up
是为了骗养老金而搞出来的 你们别拖我下水
in response to this pension problem, you are not taking me down with you.
我要告发你们 你们得进监狱
I will report you. You will go to jail,
而到了监狱 你们就用不着扮同性恋了
where you won't have to pretend to be gay,
因为到时候 你们的屁♥眼♥ 会比活塞厂的测试筒还忙
because your asses'll be busier than a test bench in a plunger factory.
我就是想再次感谢你 在慈善舞会所作的一切
I just wanted to thank you again for what you did at the fundraiser.
哦 没什么啦
Oh, yeah, that was no big deal.
你听起来有点低落 拉里在哪儿？
You sound a little down. Where's Larry?
他跟孩子们在学校 他们今天“职业观摩课”
He's at school with the kids, doing the Career Day thing.
那是不是说 你今天可以跟我 共度“女生日”？
So does that mean that you can have a girl's day with me?
“女生日”？ - 是啊
A girl's day? Yeah.
我得买♥♥些新鞋 还有新的内衣
I need some new shoes, new underwear.
“女生日”
Girl's day!
啊～
Uh-huh.
“女生日” 哈哈
Girl's day! Sure.
我来接你
I'll pick you up.
因此 买♥♥入政♥府♥的预期偿还债券
So, by trading in pre-refunded municipal bonds,
我们可以向客户提供 三倍的免税利润
we can offer our clients triple tax-exempt returns.
有同学要提问吗？
Any questions?
从来没有人要提问
There never are.
谢谢你奥巴♥赫♥先生 给了我们一个生动的华尔街之旅
Thank you, Mr. Auerbach, for that very nice trip down Wall Street.
下一位家长是托丽的爸爸拉里•华伦太
Our next parent is Larry Valentine, Tori's father.
嗨 大家好 我是一位消防员
Hi, everybody! I am a firefighter,
作为消防员我很自豪 因为我保护了我们的社会
and I'm proud to be one because it's my job to protect the community
并且保障社会公民的生存环境
and make sure it's a safe environment for all.
哇 已经有同学要提问了
Whoa! We got some questions already.
你问吧
Yeah.
我也不喜欢女生 那是不是说 我也是同性恋呢？
I don't like girls, either. Does that mean I'm gay, too?
不 不
No, no.
你曾经跟一个女人结婚 对不对？
You were married to a woman, right?
是的
Yes.
那是不是说 你是半个女同性恋？
Does that mean you're half-lesbian?
孩子们 华伦太先生今天来 是给大家介绍他的职业的
Kids, Mr. Valentine is here to talk about his career today, okay?
华伦太先生 你说你是一位消防员对吧？
Mr. Valentine? You said you're a fireman.
是的
Yes, that is correct.
你是不是还有另外一份工作？
Do you have two jobs?
因为我爸爸说 你还是一位“屁♥股♥海盗”
Because my dad said that you're also a butt pirate.
拉里
Larry.
史帝夫
Steve.
真是难对付啊
Rough crowd, huh?
这些孩子 - 是啊
Kids. Yeah.
听着 我们已经安排好 这个月男孩野营队的工作了
So, listen. We're all set for the Boy Scout overnight this month.
哦 太好了 都安排好了？
Oh, great. We're all set?
不 是我们已经安排好 我们不需要其他家长了
No, we're all set, like we don't need any more fathers.
好吧 那我们“少年同盟”见咯
All right, well, then, I guess I'll see you at Little League, then, all right?
哦 我跟你说吧 那个也安排好了
Oh, you know what? We're good.
哦已经安排好了
We are good.
不不 是说我们已经安排好了
No, no, no, we're not good.
你也不用参加“少年同盟” 我们都安排妥当了
We don't need you for Little League. We're good.
史帝夫 怎么回事啊？ 三个月前我就申请做教练了
Okay, Steve, what's going on? I signed up to coach three months ago.
拉里 我不想跟你 在这个上面纠缠不清
Larry, I don't want to get into this with you here.
嘿 知道吗 史帝夫 你真的让我顶不顺
Hey, you know what, Steve? You're really starting to piss me off.
我一直想让埃里克对棒球产生兴趣
I'm trying to get Eric interested in baseball.
让那小孩对棒球产生兴趣？
That kid interested in baseball?
我看你让肯德基上尉
You got a better chance getting Colonel Sanders interested
吃汉堡包还更容易些呢 老兄
in a hamburger, buddy.
打 打 打
Fight! Fight! Fight!
你♥爸♥爸是个同性恋 你也是
Your dad's gay and so are you.
哦 我的头发 我的头发
Oh, my hair! Oh, my hair, my hair!
哦 我的衣服
Oh, my clothes!
我的头发是不是卷起来了？ 是不是卷起来了？
Oh, am I frizzy? I'm getting frizzy!
你个混♥蛋♥ 滚回泽西去吧 滚回泽西去
You asshole! Go back to Jersey! You can go back to Jersey!
快点啊 亲爱的 快开门
Come on, honey! Please open the door!
哇 很漂亮的垫子
Whoa, nice pad.
哦 谢谢
Oh, thank you.
哎 你都湿透了 要不要借你一个T恤穿？
Hey, you are soaked. Do you want to borrow a sweatshirt or something?
哦 不用了 我没事 谢谢
No, no. I'm great, I'm great. Thank you.