我盛大的同志婚礼（2007）

我给他抢救
I worked on him.
一直抢救 一直抢救, 可是…
Worked on him, worked on him, but...
拉里一整晚都陪着我
And Larry stayed with me all that night.
我脑子里就是无法摆脱那孩子
I just couldn't get that kid out of my head.
我妻子去世的时候…
When my wife died...
那是最痛苦的时候
That was the worst.
我崩溃了
...I collapsed.
他知道那早晚要发生
He knew it was coming, but...
我们之间已经超越了友谊
What we have, it's beyond friendship.
他是我见过的最好的男人
He's the best man I know.
我会为他做任何事
I'd do anything for him.
我爱他
I love him.
我爱他
I love him.
怎么了？情况怎样？
What's going on? How'd you do?
不错 -没问题
Lt was good. It was no problem.
你要不要我再抓两把？ 看看是不是真的？
You want me to grab those? See if they're real again?
你说什么？
I'm sorry?
我是说可以结束了没？
I says are we done yet?
还没 他们想跟孩子谈谈
Not quite. They want to talk to the kids.
现在 请你告诉我他们都怎么睡觉的
Now, why don't you tell us about their sleeping arrangements?
爸爸和查克叔叔睡在同一张床上
Dad and Uncle Chuck sleep in the same bed.
你知不知道是为什么？
Do you know why?
因为他们无论做什么都在一起
'Cause they do everything together.
就像威尔和格雷思 （著名剧集 讲述两个男同）
Just like Will and Grace.
这种情况不大寻常对不对？
Lt is kind of an unusual situation, isn't it?
有两个爸爸
Having two fathers?
我没有两个爸爸
I don't have two fathers.
我有爸爸
I have my daddy,
而查克叔叔更像妈妈 因为他看起来像个女的
and Uncle Chuck is more like a mommy, 'Cause to me he seems like a girl.
为什么我就是女的？真的不明白
Why am I the woman? I don't get it.
好的 没问题了 谢谢你
Okay, that's all, thank you.
宽吻海豚
Bottlenose dolphins.
逆戟鲸 灰鲸 斑海豹和西印度海牛
Orcas, gray whales, harbor seals and West Indian manatees.
啊？
Huh?
这些物种也跟同性♥交♥配的
Species that sometimes mate with the same sex.
逆戟鲸 灰鲸 斑海豹和西印度海牛
Bottlenose dolphins, orcas, gray whales, harbor seals and West Indian manatees.
我之前不知道呢 不过我很高兴我现在知道了
I didn't know that. But now I'm glad I do.
谢谢 小朋友
Thank you, my dear.
记得提醒我千万别到 宽吻海豚出没的地方裸泳
Remind me never to go skinny-dipping with the bottlenose dolphins.
作为一位同志消防员 我想说…
I just have to say that as a fellow gay fireman...
他也是同志？
He's gay, too?
是的 兄弟们 我是同志
That's right, fellas, I'm gay.
你们有意见？
You guys have a problem with that?
没有意见 -你想怎样就怎样
No, no problem. You do whatever you like. Yeah.
查克和拉里
And Chuck and Larry,
你俩让我鼓起勇气寻找灵魂伴侣
you've inspired me to want to find my soul mate.
无论他在哪
Wherever he may be.
嘿 我得10分 我得10分
Hey, I'm a 10. I'm a 10.
你不是我喜欢的型 抱歉
You're not my type. Sorry.
费茨 就到此为止了好吗？
Fitzer, can we wrap this up?
我只想再问一个问题
I just have one more question to ask,
劳烦两位先生再忍♥受一下
if these gentlemen would indulge me for a moment.
请说 费茨先生
By all means, Mr. Fitzer.
查克 拉里
Chuck, Larry,
在你们的关系中 存在着不少激♥情♥时刻是吗？
would you say that there's a fair amount of passion in your relationship?
当然
Absolutely.
绝对超乎你的想象 老兄
More passion than you can imagine, buddy.
是啊 - 多么美妙
Yes. - How wonderful.
现在 我想请你们 亲吻对方
Now, if you'd be so kind, I'd like you to kiss each other.
你想要… - 什么？
You'd like to... What was that?
班克斯先生 虽然我的客户非常随和
Councilman Banks, my clients have been more than accommodating.
不过要求他们在大庭广众之下 表演亲密举动
And to ask for a display of intimacy in the middle of a crowded room
是非常贬低他们身份的
is simply demeaning.
我不得不同意这种说法 看来这场聆讯
I'm afraid I have to agree. We seem to have gone
已经由诈骗演变为一个不知所谓的 同性恋猎捕了
from a hearing about fraud to some kind of weird gay witch hunt.
厅长先生 我只是说
I'm just saying, Your Exellegance,
如果这两个男人 真如他们所说的那样恩爱
that if these two men are as in love as they say they are,
接个吻应该不成问题
I don't see why this should be a problem.
只是想要他们接一个吻 厅长先生
I'm just asking for one kiss, Councilman.
是啊 来吧 哥们 给他们看看真男人怎么接吻的
Yeah! Come on, fellas, show them how real men kiss! Come on!
我无法容忍♥这个 不可理喻 实在无法接受
I will not stand for it! This is unbelievable! No. Absolutely not.
嘿 来吧 厅长也同意了
Hey, come on, no. The Councilman agreed.
这太让我们难堪了
It's demeaning to us.
而且我们也不想让你们欲♥火♥焚身 这个搞不好就色情了
Plus, we don't want to get you all horny. Me and this guy, we... It could get steamy.
接吻 打啵儿 亲一个
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
秩序
Order.
秩序
Order!
接吻 打啵儿 亲一个
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
我做不到 埃里克斯
I'm not doing this, Alex.
不如 你们就来一个吧？
You know what? Just go for it.
怎么样？ - 秩序
Well? - Order!
恐怕不得不演一下了
I guess it's showtime.
进来的时候是男人
Going in straight...
出去的时候是男同？
Coming out gay?
够了 我宁可给我爷爷换尿布
Enough! I'd rather change my grandfather's diaper
也不要看两个正常男人接吻
than see two straight guys kissing.
可是我们是同性恋啊
But we're not straight.
我们是同性恋 真正的同性之爱 队长
We're not. We're in gay love, Captain!
你就不能控制一下自己么？ - 住嘴
Can't you deal with that? Oh, shut up.
如果这俩人是男同 那我就是单脚鹦鹉
If these gentlemen are gay, then I'm a one-legged parrot.
你们看见我的拐杖和饼干了么？
Anybody seen me with a crutch and a cracker?
恐怕没有吧
I didn't think so.
尊姓大名 这位先生？
And who might you be, sir?
我是菲尼亚斯•塔克队长 厅长大人
Captain Phineas J. Tucker, Councilman.
您可以查询我的记录 我曾受到多项表彰
You may search my record. I hold multiple citations
分别由狄更斯市长 克赫市长 以及古兰尼市长颁发
from Mayor Dinkins, Mayor Koch and, of course, the great Mayor Giuliani.
让我告诉你吧 这两个男人触犯规条了
And let me tell you something. These men definitely broke the rules.
他们在市政表格上说谎 并且发誓自己所说属实
They lied on a government form and they swore it was true,
这是一种卑劣行径
which is despicable.
不过有趣的是
But interestingly enough, Excellency,
尽管他们骗了我们所有人
even though they were deceitful to us all,
我相信他们还是做了些好事
I actually believe they ended up doing some good.
您所说的好事指的是什么呢？
What good are you speaking of, Captain?
首先
Well, first off,
他们让我们知道 当一个男人需要帮助的时候
they let us know that when a friend is in need,
他的朋友可以不计后果的帮助他
you go beyond extraordinary lengths to help out.
无论何时 无论何事 就是这个宗旨
Whenever, whatever. That's the code.
而他们还鼓舞了同为消防员的邓肯
Then they apparently inspired fellow firefighter Fred G. Duncan
让他说出自己最大的秘密
to come out of his super-sized closet,
因而消除了他内心的怒火
thus releasing his rage
从而摒除他杀人犯罪的怨念
and preventing what looked like to be an inevitable killing spree.
而最重要的是
And most importantly,
他们向我们展示了 无论我们决定爱谁
they showed us that no matter whom we choose to love,
异性恋 同性恋 无性恋 双性恋 三性恋 四性恋
be they heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, bisexual, trisexual, quadrisexual,
泛性恋 变性恋 全性恋...
pansexual, transsexual, omnisexual,
或者是那个所谓的人♥兽♥恋（_
or that thing where the chick ties the belt around your neck and tinkles on a balloon,
这都与我们是怎样的人无关
it has absolutely nothing to do with who we are as people.
这是真的 厅长大人
It's true, Councilman Banks.
告诉他们吧
Let them know.
我们不是同性恋
We're not gay.
不
No.
很不幸 我们伤害了一些人
Unfortunately, we hurt people,
一些我们永远也不想要伤害的人 可是我们的确伤害了
people we wouldn't want to hurt in a million years, by doing what we did.
实话实说 “玻璃”这个词很不好
For the record, the word "faggot," that's a bad word.
不要用这个词 尽管我曾经比谁说得都多
Don't use it. I used to say it more than anybody,
不过我那时候太无知 这个词很伤人
but I was ignorant. It's hurtful.
就好像叫我“犹太猪”
It's like "kike" for me.
或者叫我“肥佬”
Or "fat boy" for me.
当别人取笑我的体形的时候 还是有点不爽的
It stings a little when you poke fun of my weight.
我不知道... - 有时候吧...
I didn't know that. Yeah, sometimes it...