我盛大的同志婚礼（2007）

我这么叫是因为你也这么叫自己啊 - 我知道 不过我很努力...
I only do it 'Cause you do it. I know, but I work hard...
这什么意思？ 《基佬的光辉岁月》？
What is this? Gays of Our Lives?
是不是还要来个小提琴助兴？
Shall we cue the violins?
这个不是民谣演唱会 这是一个听证会
This isn't a folk concert, it's a hearing.
而且我已经听到两个罪人 锒铛入狱的声音了
And I believe I hear the sound of two felons going to jail
因为他们从纽约市政♥府♥骗钱
for stealing from the City of New York.
我们骗了什么 一分没有
What exactly have we stolen? Nothing!
只是因为一个有缺陷的法律系统
Due to a weird rule in a flawed system,
我的朋友拉里才不得不编造谎言
my friend Larry here had to create this lie.
也许法律系统的确存在漏洞 我的月历先生
The system may be flawed at times, Mr. Feb-blueberry.
“我可是月历先生 ”
"I'm in a calendar!"
可是法律就是法律 我们都必须遵守
But it's the law. And we all have to abide by it.
很抱歉 你们的确触犯了法律
I'm sorry, but you did break the law.
哦 天哪
Oh, God.
爸爸
Daddy!
班克斯先生 厅长大人
Councilman Banks. Councilman.
那么 恐怕你得逮捕三个人了
Well, you better have cuffs for three,
因为我得跟他们一起进监狱
because I'm going to jail with them.
此话怎讲 队长？
How is that, Captain?
我是共犯 我一早就知道他们的真♥相♥
I'm a co-conspirator. I knew all about this little scam
我一直包庇他们
from day one, and I didn't say a thing about it.
队长 - 你用不着这样做 真的
Captain! You don't have to do this. Please.
他什么也不知道
Yeah, he didn't know nothing.
好吧 就把你们三个都抓起来好了
Fine. I'll have all three of you arrested.
给我也铐上吧 因为我帮他们筹备婚礼
Slap some cuffs on me, 'Cause I helped them plan the wedding.
我开车送他们去的机场
I drove them to the airport.
查克的礼服是我去取的
I picked out Chuck's dress.
是 我也知道
Yeah, I knew about it.
礼服？为什么每个人都把我当女人看？
Dress? Why does everybody assume I'm the woman?
是不是我走路的姿势？还是什么？
Is it the way I walk? What is it?
绣球是我抢到的 用嘴哦 我很喜欢
And I caught the bouquet! In my mouth. I liked it.
看见了吧 这就是我们 消防员的团队精神
See, that's the way it works with us firemen, sir.
只要你把其中一个投进火中 其他的都会奋不顾身
You throw one of us in the fire, we all go rushing in.
把一个投进监狱 你就得把我们全部都投进监狱
You throw one of us in jail, you gotta throw the whole lot of us in jail.
怎样？你们打算怎样？
So? What's it gonna be?
如果让我跟拉里照计划行事
Everything would have been fine if you'd just let
你们就都不会有事
me and Larry make out like we were gonna.
就你非要充当大管家
Then you had to go all Knute Rockne on us.
我就是你们的长官 我不允许这种态度对我说话
I am your commanding officer. I will not be addressed in that manner.
不 在这里你可不是 你是只箭猪
Not in here you're not, you porcupine-head.
不 在这里你是个大嘴巴 让我们全都进监狱
No, in here you're the big mouth who got us locked up.
我们真该狂扁你一顿
We should whup your ass!
是啊
Yeah! Yeah!
没错
That's right.
嘿 查克
Hey, Chuck.
老天 拉里 怎么了？
Jeez, Larry. What?
放了查克和拉里 放了查克和拉里
Free Chuck and Larry! Free Chuck and Larry!
什么？
What?
嘿 大爷们 有人探访
Yo, dum-dums! You got a visitor.
先生们 那个听证会很精彩
Well, gentlemen, that was quite a hearing.
拉文先生 华伦太先生
Mr. Levine, Mr. Valentine.
好吧
All right.
市政♥府♥愿意跟你们作个交易
The city would like to offer you a deal.
我们决定放弃对你们的所有控罪 并且让你们继续享有福利
We're willing to drop all charges and allow you to keep your benefits,
不过有两个条件
with two conditions.
首先 你们必须承认自己在表格上 弄虚作假
One, you plead guilty to falsifying a government form.
罪罚已被缩减为 手腕上的一巴掌
The charge is reduced to a misdemeanor, you get a slap on the wrist,
而同时市政♥府♥也保住了颜面
and the city saves face.
成交 - 成交
Done. Done. Absolutely.
第二 你们现在已经是 同性恋圈子里的红人了
Two, you are celebrities in the gay community now.
他们不仅接受你们的道歉
They've obviously not only accepted your apology,
还把你们当作英雄
they think you're heroes.
目前 爱♥滋♥病研究基金的募捐 仍然很成问题
Now, raising money for AIDS research is still very crucial,
于是社区想出了一个办法 让你们都能帮上忙
and the community has figured out a way for you all to help.
无论做什么 - 是啊
Whatever it takes. Yeah.
你需要我们做什么？ - 我们全力以赴
What do you need us to do? We're in.
这两位朋友要做的 是很严肃的事情
These two guys right here talking about doing something pretty serious.
他们要承诺 真心相爱直到永远
Making a commitment to love each other forever.
之前 他们很低迷 因为他们生活在谎言里
Now before, they were on the down-low, living a life that was a lie.
而谎言 就像一个圆圈
Now, in a lie, it's like a circle.
没有休止
It never ends.
知道吗？ 不像三角形
You know? Lt's not like a rectangle.
因为三角形 有很多终点
'Cause that has a bunch of, you know, places that stop.
这个大圆圈...
This one is a big circle of...
好了好了 圆圈就到此为止 接着往下说
Okay, you know, wrap up the circle thing. Come on.
接着说
Moving on.
那我就快点说
I'm gonna move quicker now.
凯文•“蝴蝶”•玛多那
Do you, Kevin "Butterfly" McDonough,
你愿意与弗雷德•邓肯结为合法夫夫吗？
take Fred G. Duncan to be your lawful wedded partner?
俺愿意
I dizoo.
弗雷德•邓肯
And do you, Fred G. Duncan,
愿意与这位男士结为合法夫夫吗？
take this guy over here to be your lawfully wedded partner?
我愿意
I do.
那么 我谨代表加拿大联邦
Well, then, by the power vested in me
安达略省
by the Commonwealth of Canada and the Province of Ontario,
不像某些南部地区 安达略省是相当支持同性恋的
which has always been very pro-gay, unlike that uptight country to the south,
我荣幸的宣布 你们现在是合法夫夫 终身伴侣
it's my pleasure to now pronounce you husband and husband, partners for life.
我的律师在这儿呢
There's my lawyer.
不想跳支舞？
You don't wanna dance, do you?
不想
I don't think so.
你的哥哥都原谅我了 你为什么不能？
Your brother forgave me. Now, why can't you?
我哥哥的咪♥咪♥又没有被你摸过
Well, my brother wasrt the one that you felt up under false pretenses.
你是说 你只是因为我是同性恋 才让我摸你的胸部？
You mean you only let me touch your boobs 'Cause you thought I was gay?
这是大女人主义
That's sexist.
我可以告你哦 不过你得做我的律师
I could bring that to the courtroom. You could be my lawyer.
不过看看拉里
Look at Larry, though.
貌似他接受了我的建议 已经往前迈步了
Looks like he took my advice and moved on.
对他来说真是好事 可是我就孤家寡人
Which is great for him, but I don't have anybody to hang out with anymore.
你看这个手链写着 “永远是朋友”
I mean, these bracelets here... It says, "Friends forever."
我一直都没有摘下来过呢 你呢？
I haven't taken this thing off since we made them that day. You?
是啊 我也这么想
Yeah, that's what I thought.
在我头脑清醒之前 你有三十秒钟
Well, you've got about 30 seconds before I come to my senses.
真的？ - 是啊
Really? Yes.
这也是我的保留曲目 来吧
And this is my jam, too. Come on.
这个蛋糕看起来好好吃哦
What a delicious-looking cake!
托丽是不是想尝一口呢？
Oh, maybe Tori would like to try it.
很好阿 你是同性恋 又是她爸爸 很好很好
That's nice. You gay, her father. It's nice.
不 我不是同性恋 这是拉里的女儿 托丽
No, I'm not gay. This is Larry's daughter, Tori.
没事的 兄弟 你可以从低迷中走出来
Oh, it's okay, man. You can come out of the down-low.
我才用不着 我已经结婚了
I don't have to come out! I'm married.
哪个是你的丈夫？指给我看看
Which one's your husband? You point him out.
不不 是那个女士
No, no! The lady in there.
哪个男生？
Which guy?
不是 不是男生
No, no guy. No.
嘿 你知道吗 谎话就是一个圆圈…
Hey, you know when you lie, it's like a circle.
我没有撒谎
I'm not lying!