神出鬼没（2023）

-拜拜
-Bye.
做个仙人掌
Be a cactus.
别做大动作
No big moves. No big moves.
做个仙人掌
Be a cactus.
哇
Wow.
第一个农夫
First farmer?
是啊
Yeah.
你感觉到的力量来自于土地
You know that power you felt? That's from the land.
嗨 凉拌卷心菜
Hey, Coleslaw.
嗨 爸爸
Hey, Dad.
谢谢你昨晚帮我收摊
Thanks for closing up the stand for me last night.
没问题 埃德娜帮了我 她吸大♥麻♥了
Not a problem. Edna gave me a hand. She was high.
瞧瞧是谁回来了
Look who's finally home.
天啊 放轻松 妈妈
God, take it easy, Mom.
他只不过是跟一个陌生人做♥爱♥回来
He just got back from having sex with a stranger,
又不是和德国人作战
not fighting the Germans.
好了 来吧 给我们说说吧
Okay, now, come on. Spill the beans.
她名叫赛迪 她…
Well, her name is Sadie, and she is…
她太棒了 我知道这听起来很疯狂
She's incredible. I mean, I know this sounds a little crazy,
可我想 她可能是我的真命天女
but I think she might be the one.
真的 这也太快了
Really? Well, that's fast.
我期待着和她见面
Well, I can't wait to meet her.
你有没有告诉她你在高中练过摔跤
Did you tell her you wrestled in high school?
-没有 -这是什么
-No. -What is this?
你在床上自♥拍♥ 还在她睡着的时候
You took a selfie in bed while she was asleep?
伙计 这太怪异了
Dude, that's weird.
只有连环杀手在杀死受害者之前才这么做
That's what serial killers do before they kill their victims
还要割掉他们的眼皮
and harvest their eyelids.
我很快乐 我想保留住那一刻
I was happy. I wanted to preserve the moment.
-他又来了 -又来什么
-He is doing it again. -Doing what?
就是…科尔 你有时候会有点…
It's just-- Cole, you can get a bit--
令人窒息 黏人 可怜
Smothering, needy, pathetic,
-绝望 妄想 -什么
-desperate, delusional. -What?
对 就是这种 愚蠢的礼物 不停地发短♥信♥
Yeah, stuff like this. The stupid gifts, the constant texting.
这就是你和菲奥娜没走到一起的原因
I mean, that's why things never worked out with Fiona.
菲奥娜是个泼妇
Fiona was a bitch.
你是个无可救药的浪漫主义者 像你的妈妈一样
You're a hopeless romantic, just like your mom.
告诉她你在高中练过摔跤
Tell her you wrestled in high school.
听着 我不黏人 也不令人窒息
Look, I'm not needy, and I'm not smothering.
另外告诉你 我今天只给她发了一条短♥信♥ 一条
And for your information, I've sent Sadie one text today. One.
三条 还有一些轻松的表情符号♥ 可那不算
Three. And some light emoji stuff, but that doesn't count.
表情符号♥算
Emoji stuff counts.
他会搞砸的 记住我说的话
He is gonna blow it. Mark my words.
我不会搞…
I'm not gonna bl--
她真的很棒
She really is great.
你们到时候就知道了
You'll see.
（史上最棒约会）
嘿 集中精力 凉拌卷心菜 来吧 还有很多蜂蜜要收集
Hey. Head in the game, Coleslaw. Come on. A lot of honey to harvest.
（我还找到了这个动画的 哈哈）
你需要休息一下吗
You need some slack?
不用了 等等 只需要把它钩进去 等一下
We're good. Hang on. Just gotta hook it in. One sec.
要我接吗 我可以接 就在这里 很容易
Should I get it? I can get it. It's right here. So easy for me.
喂
Hello?
好消息
Good news.
房♥贷重新贷款利率从未如此之低
Mortgage refinancing rates have never been lower.
有消息吗
Any word?
也许你的手♥机♥坏了
Maybe your phone's broken.
对 也许你应该重置一下
Yeah, maybe you should do a hard reset.
我的手♥机♥没问题
There's nothing wrong with my phone.
不 我是说你的生活
No, no, no, I meant with your life.
作个男子汉 搬出你父母的家
You know, grow a pair, move out of your parents' house.
父母的客房♥
Guesthouse.
我确信有一个符合逻辑的理由
Well, I'm sure there's a logical reason for it.
是的
There is.
他有点过分热情 所以她跟他玩消失了
He came off way too strong, so she ghosted him.
玩消失
Ghosted?
对 意思是某人和你断绝所有联♥系♥
Yeah. It's when someone breaks off all contact.
例如 一个年轻女孩有天晚上
For example, let's just say a young lady makes a horrible,
犯了一个很糟糕的错误
horrible mistake one night,
然后那个家伙不断给她发表情符号♥
and then the guy just keeps on texting her with emojis,
反复不断
over and over.
她没跟我玩消失 好吗
She did not ghost me, okay?
-她玩了 -你想把它抬起来吗
-She did. -You wanna pick this up?
不想
No.
嘿 伙计 你在大喘气 你去用下吸入器吧
Hey, pal, you're huffing and puffing. Why don't you take a hit off your scuba?
来吧 嘿 快点
Come on, hey. Let's go.
我的天啊
Oh, my God.
抱歉 你把吸入器 故意留在她那里了
Sorry. You did the leave-behind with your inhaler?
拜托 难道你的哮喘还不够可怜吗
Come on. Isn't your asthma sad enough already?
我没故意留下 我把它落在她包里了
It wasn't a leave-behind. I forgot it in her purse.
它上面有那种方块 就是我用的那些追踪器
And it has one of those tiles on it. Those tracking things that I use.
好吧 请击鼓
All right. Drumroll, please.
我的梦中女孩在…
The woman of my dreams is in…
-伦敦 -英国
-London. -England?
-伦敦 “迷雾女郎” -没人这么叫
-London, the Lady in the Mist. -No one calls it that.
-“银发女郎” -不 那是《纽♥约♥时♥报♥》
-The Gray Lady. -No, that's New York Times.
-你确定 -是的
-Are ya sure? -Yes.
她确实经常出差
She does travel a lot for work.
这就行了 这就能说通了
Well, there you go. That makes sense.
她可能在最后一刻被叫走 不得不赶过去
She probably got called away last minute on this job and had to rush over there.
你知道 国际电♥话♥服务之类的原因
You know, international calling plans and whatnot.
我猜她根本没看到你的短♥信♥
I bet she hasn't even seen your texts.
对 有道理 好吧
Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Okay.
-正是 -好吧 这没问题
-Exactly. -Okay, so this is fine?
-完全没有 -对
-Absolutely. -Yeah.
科尔 你应该去找她
Cole, you should go over there.
-什么 -对 突然出现 给她一个惊喜
-What? -Yeah, show up and surprise her.
这会是一个浪漫举动 是一个我们可以告诉孙辈的故事
It'd be a romantic gesture, something we can tell our grandchildren.
妈妈 你一定是在开玩笑吧 科尔去伦敦 不
Mom, you can't be serious. Cole, going to London? No.
为什么不行 这是一个完美的机会
Why not? This is a perfect opportunity
走出去 去掌握自己的命运
to get out there and grab life by the horns.
她会以为你是变♥态♥
She's gonna think you're psycho.
或者她会认为我是那种
Or she'll think that I'm the kind of guy
愿意在接到通知后立即跳上飞机的人
that's willing to jump on a plane at a moment's notice.
等等 但你并不是那种人 你从不出门旅行
Wait, but you're not that kind of guy. You do not travel anywhere.
-你还没出过国 -这不对
-You haven't even left the country. -That's not true.
他是在安大略省孕育的
He was conceived in Ontario.
科尔 你能行的
Cole, you can do this.
是 可农场怎么办 活很多
Yeah, but what about the farm? There's so much to do.
-我不能一走了之 -凉拌卷心菜 别担心农场
-I can't just leave you here. -Coleslaw, don't worry about the farm.
-是啊 -掌握命运 去吧
-Yeah. -By the horns. Come on.
对 去找她
Yeah, go to her.
你们知道我有什么吗
You know what I have?
你们记得那年春假 我本应去西班牙
You remember that spring break where I was supposed to go to Spain
我放弃了座位 得到了一张代金券
and I gave up my seat and I got a voucher?
这正是我的意思 科尔
That is my point exactly, Cole.
你错过了春假 就为了一张代金券
You missed spring break to get a stupid voucher,
你却从来没用过
which you never used.
我是说 你就是这种人
I mean, that is the type of guy you are.
今天不是了
Not today.
-你还留着… -我都起鸡皮疙瘩了
-You still have-- -I've got goose bumps.
谢谢你的警告
Thanks for the warning.
我要去伦敦了
I'm going to London.
（英国 伦敦）
这不是怪异的跟踪者行为 这是一个高超的浪漫举动
So it's not like a weird stalker thing. It's just a grand romantic gesture.
是的 太棒了 朋友 我佩服你的自信
Yeah, that is amazing, mate. I mean, I admire your confidence.
跋涉八千多公里就为了 给你只见过一次面的女孩一个惊喜
5,000 miles to surprise a girl who you've only met once.
这是浪漫的典范 朋友
I mean, that is the epitome of romance, mate.
是 对极了 瞧 你懂的
Yeah, exactly. See, you get it.
特别是如果她突然跟你玩消失的话
Especially if she's the one who ghosted you.
我…等等 什么 不 她没跟我玩消失
I was-- Wait, what? No, no, she didn't ghost me.
她只是没有国际长途电♥话♥服务